Hang in there! I too felt the same way but believe me, it does get easier! Much much easier! I highly recommend that you make an appt with a certified lactation consultant (Morton Plant Hosp has a GREAT one named Lucille that can help you!). It is free and you can do phone or in person by appt. This will help you with proper pain free latch ( it shouldn't hurt) and also with possible pumping/bottle feeding the right way. She can answer all your questions!
As for pumping and bottle feeding, it is not not not recommended until the baby is a little older ( maybe 2 months I think). This is because you are still currently establishing your milk supply based on the baby's needs.... Hence the importance of feeding on demand whenever she starts rooting or acting hungry and feeding as long as she wants. Once your body has adjusted and is making all she needs, then you could consider pumping to have others help with bottles here and there. Another reason to wait ( and talk to a professional) is because a pump will NEVER pull out as much milk as a baby will at a feeding. Pumps work well, but not like a baby therefore your body will think less was eaten/needed and produce less in response. This can start the bad downward spiral of making too little milk, turning to supplementing, which results in even less nursing sessions and on and on.... Until baby is eventually eating more formula than was intended because of the cause and effect.
Right now you are in a major adjustment time, actually the whole family is! Have other family help with the toddler more rather than them feeling the need to help with the baby's feeding. You are doing the very best thing you can do for your baby and yourself! Keep going to establish good supply and bottles can come in time (feels like forever, but it's not). See a lactation consultant or Le Leche League and ensure proper latch. Dr Sears books ('Breastfeeding' and 'Attachment Parenting') are great as well as forums and info on sites like Dr Sears, mothering.com, kellymom.com You can get good info there too on feeding while out and about... Using a good sling or just sticking to nursing rooms until things are better established and it's easier to latch without feeling exposed. That will all come with time, baby needs time to learn and get good at it too!
You have made a wonderful decision, hang in there, it's worth it!