S.W.
I'm glad you wrote in for support. Being a new mom equals pressures no one else can understand- and we do put a lot on ourselves. We do feel like everyone is watching, just waiting for us to make a mistake (of course no one is- but it sure doesn't feel that way) We carried this child for 9 months, gave birth, we SHOULD be able to care for that child single handedly. Not only is THIS conversation going on in your head but your replaying your moms comment. First, I hope by now you have had a talk with your mom to let her know how much those words hurt, and don't let her tell you your being too sensitive. Say what you need to say and close the case. Second, make good use of all those baby bells and whistles you paid so much for and go for a walk in the morning- yep, before your tired. Your baby will probably sleep most of the time but if she starts to fuss, take a break and feed her. Bring a blanket and find a good spot to plop down and read a celeb mag. I'm sure your huband works outside of the home (mine travels M-F) so when he gets home and the house is trashed and dinner is cereal (again) just say, "wow, this mom thing is tough. I know it will get easier but right now I need a hand, some understanding, a foot massage and a glass of wine." Get a journal if you don't have anyone to call up, have a good cry and write it all out. Theres no use to keep all those feeling whirling aound with no escape. And there is light at the end of this tunnel- and all the tunnels you'll have to go through. I had serious PPD- never told anyone, lived through it, but would so do it all different this time around. I was afraid to ask anyone for help- I don't work, I have nothing better to do then care for my child- what do I have to complain about? How about mental wellbeing? So my kids are 5 & 8, and I have one on the way. When PPD hits, like I know it will, I will be going down the list of people I know (even if not very well) and saying, "would you mind running to the store for me?" or "if you have an hour, could you take the baby for a walk so I can take a shower and wash off this 4 day funk?" And I wont be embarassed to tell my doctor, beside she's not allowed to tell anyone I'm falling apart at the seams. I have learned that no, I can't do it all- no one, especially normal moms, expect you to. Set realistic expectations for yourself- ie.
Today I will walk, shower and do 1 load of laundry, I'll eat at least 1 healthy meal and drink as much water as I have time for. If you get more then that done- gold star. If you sense eyes gazing on you and your thinking, yep- their judging me, watching my every move- just whip around and say, "motherhood is not as easy as I thought it would be, but I'm getting the hang of it. Hey, would you mind getting me a glass of water... opening the door for me... scraping off this blob of baby barf.... my hands are full."