Bouts of Postpartum

I'm glad you wrote in for support. Being a new mom equals pressures no one else can understand- and we do put a lot on ourselves. We do feel like everyone is watching, just waiting for us to make a mistake (of course no one is- but it sure doesn't feel that way) We carried this child for 9 months, gave birth, we SHOULD be able to care for that child single handedly. Not only is THIS conversation going on in your head but your replaying your moms comment. First, I hope by now you have had a talk with your mom to let her know how much those words hurt, and don't let her tell you your being too sensitive. Say what you need to say and close the case. Second, make good use of all those baby bells and whistles you paid so much for and go for a walk in the morning- yep, before your tired. Your baby will probably sleep most of the time but if she starts to fuss, take a break and feed her. Bring a blanket and find a good spot to plop down and read a celeb mag. I'm sure your huband works outside of the home (mine travels M-F) so when he gets home and the house is trashed and dinner is cereal (again) just say, "wow, this mom thing is tough. I know it will get easier but right now I need a hand, some understanding, a foot massage and a glass of wine." Get a journal if you don't have anyone to call up, have a good cry and write it all out. Theres no use to keep all those feeling whirling aound with no escape. And there is light at the end of this tunnel- and all the tunnels you'll have to go through. I had serious PPD- never told anyone, lived through it, but would so do it all different this time around. I was afraid to ask anyone for help- I don't work, I have nothing better to do then care for my child- what do I have to complain about? How about mental wellbeing? So my kids are 5 & 8, and I have one on the way. When PPD hits, like I know it will, I will be going down the list of people I know (even if not very well) and saying, "would you mind running to the store for me?" or "if you have an hour, could you take the baby for a walk so I can take a shower and wash off this 4 day funk?" And I wont be embarassed to tell my doctor, beside she's not allowed to tell anyone I'm falling apart at the seams. I have learned that no, I can't do it all- no one, especially normal moms, expect you to. Set realistic expectations for yourself- ie.
Today I will walk, shower and do 1 load of laundry, I'll eat at least 1 healthy meal and drink as much water as I have time for. If you get more then that done- gold star. If you sense eyes gazing on you and your thinking, yep- their judging me, watching my every move- just whip around and say, "motherhood is not as easy as I thought it would be, but I'm getting the hang of it. Hey, would you mind getting me a glass of water... opening the door for me... scraping off this blob of baby barf.... my hands are full."

Hello,
Okay, I know this is not the popular option, but I finally went on a low dose antidepresant. If you are nursing, some drugs, like zoloft, are okay to be on. Ask you doctor. You don't have to tell your parents or anyone else who may judge you. I hear you, I've been there, and sometimes I am still there! My twin girls just turned four and everything is just hard. Motherhood is a difficult ride!
Big hug,
P.

I felt so similar when I had my son. I was scared. All those things. And I found out I was normal! I did go see a therapist. And that really helped. Helped me feel more normal. I tried to reach out and talk to other mothers and that helped too. The Pump Station is a good place to connect with new Mommy's. There is one in Santa Monica and one on Vine Street in Hollywood. It's a lot to figure out how to do everything and stay sane. It's one day at a time. Go easy on yourself. Exercise is good. Get that time to do things that will make you feel good. And tell your daughter that you are working through it. Tell your family that too. Tell them you need support and understanding. And lots of hugs. You love your daughter and you love your family. You are a new Mommy. Love yourself too! Hang in there. R.

Being a new mom is tough! each stage just gets better and better with more newness than before and more challenges. First of all, don't give your mom or anyone else the power of belittling you to feel incapable. Let it go. Everyone judged me as well. I was too picky, too cautious, I was too scheduled, and above all, I was too quiet when he slept. Yes, every mother has their own way of raising their child, and if it not harmful to their psyche or physical body, than don't worry about it.

Secondly, about your moods and crying. It had been my experience that PPD (Post-Pardum Depression) occurs for a couple of different reasons. One, you may be lacking essential fatty acids which will produce hormonal swings. Don't tell me you have enough because your OB prescribed DHA for you. Bull! Get some salmon and eat that, or go to Whole Foods and invest in some high quality fish oil. I like Carlson's, or RenewLIfe Capsules. The other possibility is that your Thyroid (master gland for metabolism and hormone balance) may not be functioning properly. A blood test is in order to get that checked out.

Lastly, enjoy every crying moment of you baby, and if you can't stand it, give her over to your hubby and then take a walk or a nap, or listen to some music. You need his help and you need to keep sane. This too shall pass.

Blessings

Hi,
I am so sorry you are feeling like that. I felt the same way for my first child. As I was reading your post, I started remembering the same feelings. I really commend you for reaching out like this. Don't let the things people say get to you. We are hardest on ourselves. My postpartum kicked in around the same time. I felt down and wanted to sleep most the time and it was very difficult to just walk away and let my husband take care of our daughter. If you haven't already try talking to your OBGYN. Doctors are great for helping. If you would prefer to try to work through this without medication, then you are going to have to take time for yourself. It sounds like you are putting yourself last in most cases. And since you have such a supportive husband, take a walk with him and the baby. Sunlight will do wonders for your depression. You emotions will vary, but don't get so frustrated with yourself, do you have any hobbies or interests, try working something you enjoy into your day....even if it is only for 15 or 20 mins. Go out for a cup of coffee with a friend. The first baby is a huge adjustment, just try to relax, and remember advice will be everywhere, both good and bad. Take what you can use, and throw the rest away.

Hi
Have you heard about www.babybootcamp.com
1. Exercise is a proven stress / depression buster
2. Socialise with other moms who have all been there too
3. Make new friends

Also check out any local moms support groups
Good luck

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You are sooooo normal!!! Captital N!! Go and talk to your doctor...ASAP! There is help out there. Don't wait! Shame on your mom by the way, what an insensitive thing to say. Lean on your husband during this rollercoaster ride. Share your crazy feelings...whatever they are. He needs to understand what you are feeling. Communication will help keep that relationship in good standing (hopefully). And please, give yourself a break. You are probably sleep-deprived which makes any normal person a bit crazed & super-irritable! But let me tell you from personal experience...Hormones are a drag!! There isn't much you can do on your own to control them...you need help! Good for you for exercising...that's always a positive. Do you have friends closeby that can help you rest? If so, this is the time to ask for help. Don't try to be a super-hero...your daughter needs you to take care of yourself and so does your husband. Medication may be in order until your hormones balance out. So call your doctor today & know that relief is within reach. Take care...