Boyfriend Has Children with autism...what Are My Chances of Having One Also

Because the medical community does not know the cause of autism I suggest that, as every mother knows, you can't know ahead of time how your baby will be. Because there are genetic links to many conditions and possibly to autism, I'd have a genetic study done before making a decision.

As Brandy M. says, children are a blessing. My grandson is on the Autism Spectrum and we wouldn't have not had him in our lives. He's a challenge but he's also loving and cheerful. A part of your decision should be based on your resources. How does your boyfriend relate to his children? Is he able to deal in a reasonable manner with the difficulties? Are he and his ex able to work together for the good of the children? What sort of stress do his two children put on him and is he able to manage his life in a calm and positive way? If having another autistic child would be too stressful for either one of you, don't take the chance.

Are both of you mature enough to put children first? Do you work together and give each other support even in stressful times? Are you financially secure? Are you able to establish a secure home before having a baby? Have you working thru your own emotional issues to the point that you feel confident in ;yourself as a person? Ask yourself all the sort of questions any couple should be able to answer in the positive before having children.

There are some conditions that can be predicted based on genes. There are some that have greater odds of happening a second time or because of age or current health and environmental conditions. Autism is still an unknown. It is very important for prospective parents to consider whether or not they can manage if the child is born with some difficulties, including the normal ones of being a baby.

Autism runs in families. You should be prepared to mother an autistic child if you have children with him because you will be rolling the dice, and they are loaded.

Their is plenty of genetic research going on right now, and much of it is promising. Siblings with autism (like mine) are being looked at closely by the AGRE program (gentic research.) There is real, repeatable data out there that gentics is heavliy involved in autism, but you are right, a definitive cause is not yet known.

You can probably bank on your chances of having a child with autism being much higher than the 1 in 110 (1 in 99 for boys) that they already are.

How lucky do you feel?

M.

A really basic question to ask your boyfriend is if he has any family members he suspects of being on the spectrum. If not, does his ex have any family members she suspects of being on the spectrum. If it appears it might be from his wife, then your risks are lower.

Just a thought!

C.
www.littlebitquirky.blogspot.com

Although we do not know all the causes of autism, there is a great risk of having more than one child on the spectrum. I feel for you! My daughter has autism and I did not know it before we decided to have our son, but I am so thankful I did not know before hand because I may not have chosen to have him. He is typical and it the biggest blessing as well as my daughter. Children on the spectrum are deffinately very challanging, but they also are bigger blessings! I learn so much from my daughter. She is amazing! Even though life is different than I had expected, it has also been enriched more than I will ever know. I have found that autism is a huge blessing to all of us. They teach me things that I would NEVER have learned.. The choice maybe be a hard one not knowing what the outcome will be, but either way, all children are blessings!!!! And, I know that IT IS HARD!!!!!

Tricky question. I think it depends on the type of autism your boyfriend has. There's "classic autism" which is where the child is born with the autism and there's a genetic cause and then there is "regressive autism" where the child is born, is developing normally and on time and then all of a sudden, the child has lost his/her language and skills. The medical community has not established a cause for regressive autism as of yet but a research paper published by UC Davis a year or two ago points the finger at environmental causes as a possible reason for the increase autism diagnosis of late.

If your boyfriend's children have autism as a result of Fragile X or some other known genetic cause, and if there are other children with autism in his family (cousins, nephews, uncles), I would definitely speak with a genetic counselor first before trying to conceive. If it is regressive autism, you may have a better chance of not having a child with autism simply because your genetics and state of health are different than that of the other mother but there's no guarantee that your child will not have come down with regressive autism as well but this is pretty much how it is for every mother out there. The only thing I would suggest for you, if you do want to have a child with your boyfriend, is to make sure that your body is in optimal health before you conceive, if possible. No more tuna sushi, tuna sandwiches, swordfish and the like. Eat more organic fruits and vegetables and less processed foods for a while. Exercize and break a sweat each day. The better your health, the better your baby's. At least that's my theory.

Hi Abril,

Not all causes of autism are genetic. Those of us who are professionals in the alternative medicine community see evidence that such things as too many vaccines, pesticide-laden food, and exposure to heavy metals (exposure to the pregnant mother OR to the infant) can contribute to this risk. So my feeling is, if you switch to an organic diet before getting pregnant and do not vaccinate your children (OR allow only one vaccine at a time to be given, not several as is commonly practiced in the U.S.), you stand a much better chance of avoiding this syndrome.

Best of luck!

Wow, what a question. It is a question I get asked at least every week as I am a speech and feeding therapist working with children with autism in Newport Beach. I refer all of my soon to be mothers to Julie Matthews, CNC who does workshops for mothers wanting to have children and doing everything within their power to lower the chances of having a child on the spectrum. To learn about her upcoming classes go to: www.HealthfulLivingsf.com or www.NourishingHope.com Good luck!
D. W., M.S, CCC-SLP
www.SpectrumSpeech.com

There is a book called "healing and preventing autism" by Jenny McCarthy and a Dr. who's child recovered from autism through biomedical interventions. It tells you all about what to do, eat, not to do, etc. while you are pregnant to prevent autism. My son is 4 years old and a high functioning autistic. He is on his path to recovery. I have done a few biomedical interventions with his DAN doctor.(defeat autism now) Doctor. and I have full hope and faith that he will completly recover.