Breaking the Finger Sucking Habit

I have always had a nail bittining and sabpicking habits. My doctor threaten to prescribe boxing gloves. I'm 56. Mom put mittons on us when wehat cickenpox due to scratching. What if you made or found cute little gloves/ mittens to match her night clothes. Hard to suck fingers that are in gloves

HI D., It would serve you well to find the real source of your 'terror', that's a pretty strong word to use considering the degree of importance.
All children have something they 'hide' from friends when they spend the night, as you did with finger sucking. It's part of learning to deal with life situations, you might consider not being too protective and allow your child to develop the skills to deal with life as it comes to her, children who learn to deal with life situations gradually during childhood do a lot better as adults than those who have had all challenges removed from them.
First, I would never again say anything to her about finger or thumb sucking.
Second, buy some of the bitter substances used for that purpose so when she puts her fingers in her mouth the taste will discourage her from the behavior. You can find a list on google web searches.
If these fail, a local hypnotherapist or EFT therapist who will remove the behavior with very little trouble. If you are not familiar with EFT check out www.emofree.com
But you would do very well to never make this a problem that causes you to create anxiety within yourself or your child, the anxiety created in that manner is worse than the feelings associated with thumb sucking.
Ultimately she may still not stop the behavior( unless you use hypnotherapy or some other behavior modification method) and rather than live in terror you might do well to recognize that being 5 years old in Vietnam and having your foot blown off by a land mine is terrifying but finger sucking is at best inconvenient and perhaps a potential for a bit of embarrassment.
Good luck!
J.

Wow, D.! Reading your story was like reading about myself. I was a thumb sucker til my late teens. Like you I had quit when I was about 8 or 9 but would wake up with it in my mouth. I know mine was a smoothing thing or way to deal with stress. Though I had very loving and giving parents i would hear them at night, when they thought we were asleep arguing about things. I am a pleaser so I always felt like I had to be the good one and so on. But my 4 year old daughter sucks her two fingers, since about 3 months old. She never liked a binky and I really didn't want her to have one. My 2 year old sucks her thumb. Also never liked the binky. I have noticed my 4 yesr old doing it less but it is still done a lot. I personally don't worry about it. If that is the only big worry i have i thank my lucky stars. She is a happy, healthly, outgoing child. I would suggest talking to your doctor about it if it really bothers you. Just make sure you are not pushing your children too soon to give up something so important to them now.

Hey D., we have the same issues here. Sorry no advice. I'd love to hear if you get any, but at least you know you are not alone. Best wishes!
R. Helms

i have 2 thumb suckers. both only suck their thumbs when they are tired or stressed. my 7 yr old is autistic and at school the got the self stick paper type tape and wrapped it around her thumb. she wouldn't suck it with the tape on it and it broke her from sucking during the day. my 4 yr old only sucks when she gets into trouble and is stressed or when she is super tired. my 10 yr old was a binky sucker and gave it up willingly at 3. she was fighting me about a nap and threw it behind the sofa. well i was 9 months prgnant and couldn't find it and so i told her if she could find it she could have it. she looked couldn't find it and went to bed. this went on for 3 days with me telling her if she could find it she could have it. she never found it and after 3 days never looked again. she never sucked her thumb. both my thumb suckers refused the paci at birth and sucked their fingers the oldest would only suck the paci. if she has shown no efforts to suck her fingers by this point i would say take it away and see what happens.

Thumb sucking is a natural soothing mechanism. My youngest was a paci user. At two we/Santa took it away never to be seen again. However, he began sticking his thumb in his mouth shortly after taking the paci. I never lectured him, but when I noticed I would walk up and gentle swipe his hand away and say "we don't do that" in an upbeat tone of voice. Had to be careful not to make it into a game but yet not make it seem like he was being scolded. Repetition is half the battle. It's like teaching your child manners. You have to practice what you preach, those little eyes and ears are taking in your every move. So, talk about it matter of factly. It will help you not to stress about it and it can help reinforce that only baby's suck their finger/thumbs. Focus on her becoming "a big girl" and notice and tell her when she is doing "big girl" things. Get excited with her!! It's all positive reinforcement of the good behaviors. She probably wants to please you as most kids of this age do. Use that natural urge to your advantage. That way when you do say "we don't do that" or "oh, are you pretending to be a baby today? Should I get you a bottle? or a diaper?" She may realize the differences. When you are out in public and you see other younger children or baby's sucking on appendages point them out in a non-threatening manner, "see only baby's suck their thumbs." It's always hard to blog about topics and get what you really mean across so, I can't stress enough that my suggestions are to be in a happy upbeat voice, non-chalant and in more of a playful transaction.

My youngest also was a nail biter during that time. I couldn't understand why since my oldest wasn't. I resorted to using "Thumbs". It's over the counter, has a bitter taste that is to help steer the child from nails biting. It didn't do my kiddo much good and I resorted to Tobasco. I began to realize I'd stayed on top nail trimmings of my oldest kiddo (when there was only one)but with two young ones I wasn't as timely. I focused on regular nail trimmings and used the tobasco a couple of time and that did the trick in quick order.

You may want to talk to your pediatric provider or dentist regarding other techniques and how/if the sucking can impact your child's health negatively. Good luck.

Once a SAHM now a WM committed to raising two respectful, happy young men.

I am a psychologist and would recommend a different approach. We have to look into the reasons behind a behaviour before we can find a possible solution. One reason could be the attention she gets (even if it is negative, she is the center of attention when she does this). I recommend that you try to give her a lot of attention and praise when she does something right (this tends to reinforce positive habits).

Also, when she puts her fingers in her mouth, everyone (you need to talk to anyone in your family who normally is present) should do their best to ignore it, not just vocally but not make any facial expression that would allow her to think you don't like it.

I know it will be super hard to do and, at first, will not seem to make any difference but it does work if done right. The most important part is to give her a lot of love and attention at other times when she is not sucking her fingers. pretend it doesn't matter and she will eventually realize that the habit is not getting attention any more. Habits can take much longer to break than to start.

hope this helps.
O. H.

My name is M., and I am a 74 year old mother of 5, grandmother of 9, and great-grandmother of 11. I was a thumb sucker, and my parents did all kinds of things to "break me" of this: a metal "thumb guard", hot stuff, etc...All to no avail! I only sucked my thumb to go to sleep, and had a "special" little Pillowcase with lace edging which I rubbed the edge with the opposite hand while sucking my thumb. I would manage to get the "thumb guard" off, liked the hot stuff; so they gave up and let me suck!! The pillowcase became quite worn and ragged; so one of my aunts bought me a pretty, new pillowcase. They hid the old one and I pitched a fit until I got the old one back!! When I was 5 years old I decided that I was a Big girl and would be going to school soon, put my hands under my pillow, and never sucked my thumb again!! None of my 5 children would have apacifier, and 2 were thumb suckers. They were older than I was before they quit. Among as many grands and greats there are various degrees of thumb sucking. It really is'nt anything to worry about, and doesn't affectyour mind teeth. Hope this helps ease your mind about your children.

Hi D.,
My daughter sucks her thumb... even during the day when she's tired, hungry or stressed... or I think sometimes even just to relax. She's never had a paci... I refused to give her one b/c I just don't believe in them and she sucked her thumb in the womb, and would never take a pacifier anyway.

So... she's 2 1/2 now and still sucking... I'm not worried about it yet... but then again, I don't think we have the family history you mentioned and I know I was not a thumb sucker, although I was a nail-biter as a child/teen.

So... I'm not sure what to offer you as help... I feel that children will grow out of these things as they should when it's time and that the more we pressure them about it, the more they will hold to it. That's just me... this probably doesn't help you at all... but I guess I just wanted you to know that of course there are other moms out there with finger suckers... :) Good luck and keep us posted.

K.

Hi D.,
I don't know why some kids are suckers and others are not, but I do know I was literally born with my finger in my mouth (C-section) and I continued to suck for a long time. But, neither of my kids have ever been suckers (pacifier or fingers). I sucked my index finger for comfort, usually when I was bored or tired. I gave it up during the day by age nine, but I struggled with it at night through my teen years.

I am sure, due to your personal experience, you are uneasy about your girls following in your footsteps, but try not to push them too hard. You might be surprised and they just might give it up on their own. But either way, don't make it seem like it is a shameful thing.

If (and that's a big if) they are still suckers later on and have fears of sleeping at friends' houses, teach them to be confident rather than fearful that it might happen, and if anyone sees them sucking during the night (and that is also a big if) they can just laugh it off and say something like, "Yeah, that's weird, I used to do that when I was a baby. I don't know why that happened, maybe I was dreaming about being a baby again." I was able to fall asleep without sucking by the time I was old enough for sleepovers, but if it happened accidentlaly during the night and someone had seen me (though that never happened), that's what I would have done/said.

I'm sure they sense your frustration and feel bad enough about it already. If they are happy and emotionally healthy in every other way, then it is really a minor issue. Try not to make such a big deal about it.

BTW: never had any trouble with my teeth and have a perfect smile without braces. And, am a non-smoker.

Gosh, I sucked my thumb. I remember my mom telling me that I might get a scar on the top of my thumb if I didn't stop and maybe my teeth would become buck teeth. So, I probably stopped when I was 5 or so. No big deal. Babies suck on their thumb in the womb. You're going to put your fears into your children's heads if you mention it anymore. How about verbalizing positive things they're doing and tell them how proud or how good they're doing. They'll eventually forget about those fingers if you forget about them and stop talking about them. It will be in their subconscious forever if you talk about it forever. Redirect your attention and their attention towards something else that's positive. I'm a professional and I never had that problem growing up. They've only young once. Let them be children. It sounds like you're a good mom. Stay that way. Stop your worrying.

T.

I don't care what anyone says about thumb sucking causing dental issues-- I'd rather pay orthodontist bills in the future than therapy bills or worse. I read something recently that opened my eyes. It was a novel so I know it was fiction, but the teenage boy in the story was teased by his dad so he finaly went to get hypnosis to break his habit. By the end of the book, he realized all of the problems he now had-- drugs and depression and bigger issues because he didn't have that self soothing of the thumbucking anymore-- so he went back to the hypnotist and had his "need" for thumbsucking put back! OK, yeah, that was fiction, but it made me really think about the psychology behind what we do to our kids when we take away their thumbsucking. If a child/person is "oral", they have a need to put something in their mouth. If you take away the pacie and the need is still there, they may find something else (not to say that all pacie user will automatically become thumb suckers, but they will find a new way to self soothe). Think about all of those members of your family you mentioned who were thumb suckers-- do they have adult oral habits now? Are they smokers?? There is no one-size-fits-all that works for every person, but I'm so glad my parents gave up on trying to break my sister and I of our finger sucking habits when we were young.

Hey, do they still make that "hot stuff" my own mother used to use on my siblings who sucked their thumbs? The taste was a little hot, and not so good, but SAFE. And it broke them from wanting to suck their thumb.

I do wish you good luck. Though I do have to say, I felt odd, being one of four children, the only one who did NOT suck her thumb; yet I was the only one whose teeth were "bucked." Go figure. LOL.

Take care, and God bless.

Well I don't have a child who sucks her fingers but I live with a roommate who's 7 year old daughter does sucker her middle and ring fingers of her right hand. I've done research on finger sucking and I have found many articles talking about the physical damage that can be done and there is a psychological issue too. Personally I think it's a gross habit to have and so many things can go wrong like....crooked teeth, jaw misalignment, pinworms, sores on fingers and in mouth, infections, and many other things like that. It makes it difficult for me to live with someone who allows their child to suck their fingers and then put their slobbery fingers all over things that I or my young child might touch and it's just a matter of cleanliness. My roommate's child usually only does it at night or when she's watching a movie. We've tried a calendar and star stickers when she doesn't suck her fingers. It worked for a little while, until her mother stopped trying to help and just allowed her to suck them when ever she wanted to. It's weird how she won't suck them at school or in front of people but she'll do so at home. Her hands look disgusting and I worry about her being teased. She also bites the skin around all of her fingers so it looks like her fingers got put into a blender. And to go along with the teeth indention on her fingers she has warts all over her hands too. She also carries around a blanket too. Personally I think it's a horrible habit to have and it should be addressed as soon as possible before you fork out a fortune trying to fix her teeth and possibly a therapist for whatever insecurities she'll have. I don't think you're wrong to worry about how this will affect your child in her future. You know what it was like dealing with the same problem and I give you kudos for trying to protect your child from the same embarrassment and health issues. I think you should do something to help her stop. If that doesn't help, then think about how your child's finger sucking affects other people around her. I'm offended having to always wipe everything down b/c her spit is on the fridge door or the remote or the dvd player. I don't want her spit on me, just like she wouldn't want my spit on her. But I hope you are able to be there for her whether she is able to stop or not. She's your child and you will love her no matter what that is what is truly important.