Breast Feeding Ready to Stop but Child Is Not

Your child is smart. He wants what is good for him which is nursing. Did you realize that the worldwide age for weaning is 4.5 years old? That is when you average in all the babies who are weaned at like 3 days or something here in the states and other "developed" countries. I work full time and still have allowed my children to wean themselves. I won't say that is always easy, but in the end I am so thankful that I did. My kids are healthy and it has helped me teach them about boundaries and I always have a way to make them feel better and to help them get well when they are sick.

I just went through this. My first weened herself, my second I had to ween. I first stopped nursing her before her nap. I started putting her down and reading her a story instead, for a routine. After this, I waited for her to forget to ask for "Mommy milk" at night, but it didn't happen. So, I did the same thing as at nap-time. There were some tears along the way, but she's weened now. She proudly tells me that she's weened now and is big. Now that she's weened, she knows she'll be able to spend the night with Grandma sometimes, which she likes. Good luck with yours.

Oh, if he wants to nurse, offer him a cup of water. My husband gives the girls a cup of cocoa before bed (warm milk and a bit of chocolate syrup). They love that.

This is how I recently weaned my 2 year old. First make sure he is getting his milk another way. Be it spooning it him from a bowl and spoon or letting him sip it through a straw and a cup. I night weaned first. When that has gone well, I then started on day weaning. Don't do it all at once because it may be a bit overwhelming for both of you.

This article helped me in the night weaning:
http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html
Gently let him know that like he needs to go to sleep your nummies are tired and need to sleep too.

Now the day weaning... Tell him your the mik in your nummies is bad. Your nummies have broken. He won't believe you. Get some lemon juice or italian vinagrette (sp?) dressing and rub it on BOTH your nipples. Your ds will immediately notice the difference and will not try it again. Make sure you keep putting it on your nipples until he consistently remembers that your nummies are broken. it only took my daughter 2 tries and she wanted nothing to do with them. Let him know you would be happy to get him milk in a cup or spoon him some milk. My daughter to this day will check every once in a while and ask if my nummies are still broken. I look her in her eyes and say "Yes sweetie, mommy's nummies are broken. The milk is bad." And she would say "ok." and move on to something else.

Our kids are very smart. Use short sentences. He will understand. Do not use long drawn out explanations. Try not to let him see you get frustrated or angry during this process. Lots of patience and love. Good Luck!

Hi there, I'm still nursing my 2 1/2 yo boy (I don't think he'll ever be ready on his own to stop, so I'm going to have to force it) and my older son (now 8) nursed this long as well. Congrats on nursing for so long, but if you're ready to stop then here are a few suggestions.

1. act like you don't understand i.e. offer him a cup of water instead (the idea is to fill up his tummy with water so when he does nurse, it's only a little bit, which will in turn reduce the milk supply and as the cycle continues he might decide that it's just not worth it any more)
2. talk to him about being a big boy and about how big boys don't nurse, if there's any activity he wants badly to do but hasn't yet, tell him that big boys that don't nurse get to do things like that.
3. tell him that the nurse is tired and needs to go to sleep, then when he asks to nurse tell him that the nurse (or whatever his name for it is) is sleeping
4. distract, distract, distract...even if you have to restructure nap/bed time to manage it
5. maybe work in a weekend away with your hubby where your son is staying with grandma and has a great time, sometimes this can interrupt it enough to make him forget how important it was to him and at the age of two I think he's old enough to handle it emotionally.
6. Make sure that he's getting plenty of other close and loving time with you; at this age nursing is all about comfort and being close to mom.
7. try to find a way to make it uncomfortable for him, like maybe make him stand up while he's nursing, but offer to let him snuggle on your lap if he stops.

It just takes perseverance and some creativity, but you'll get there eventually. Have patience though, it's an entrenched behavior at this point (not a negative thing) and is going to take some work to stop.

Stop one feeding that you think would be easiest, use distraction during that usual time. Then in about a month or so when he's adjusted to that, take away the other feeding. It helps if you could be gone during those times for a couple times and let dad step in, but if not, entertain/distract him w/books, puzzles, outside play... whatever. Great job nursing so long, THE best thing for him!

Congratulations for nursing your son until now! My son was 3 when he decided that he didn't want to nurse anymore and he was only nursing at naptime...he had stopped the nighttime nursing himself earlier. My daughter nursed until she was 2.5. She wanted to continue to nurse for about 2 seconds right before sleeping, so I decided to quit at that point. I offered water in a sippy cup (she is now 7 and still has a sip of water right before she nods off). I encourage you to follow your child's lead....if he is happy to have a sippy cup of water for sleeping, tell him what a BIG boy he is! You shouldn't have any milk leaking issues if he has gradually reduced his mommy milk intake and he will be a happy, well adjusted big boy when he quits nursing. You have provided him with the best nutrition possible and you should congratulate yourself for a job well done!
Blessings to you and yours,
K.

We sort of transitioned the routine a bit for my older daughter. Her old routine was nurse, brush teeth, bed. We altered it a bit so that I was reading her a story from a picture book while she nursed. Then nurse, story, teeth, bed when she realized what I was doing and wanted to look at the pictures. After a while, the nursing was far enough removed from bedtime that it really didn't need to be part of the routine anymore. We built in a lot of cuddle time throughout the day, while this was going on, including some shirtless time at the start(but still with the bra on), so that she wouldn't miss the snuggling. We also left a sports bottle with water in a corner of her crib and then on her bedside table, where she knew where it was if she was thirsty in the night.

J.,

Kudos to you for long-term nursing!!!

I was very blessed that my oldest self-weaned a month or two before her second birthday. We went on a trip to Disney, and with the constant go-go-go, she just kind of forgot to ask for it.

My youngest. . . not so much. A few months after her second birthday, I decided it was time to take my body back. Band-aids worked like a CHARM!!

I'd put one on each side, and tell her that they had "owies," then offer her a cup of milk. . . okay, that worked. (Remember, every 2-year old knows about owies and the magic of Band-Aids.) After a day or so, they'd be "all better," so I wouldn't get engorged. . . . then "owie" again. . . Off and on for about a week or two, longer between each "all better" until I was comfortable that I wouldn't get engorged. Then I left them on "full time" for a bit. It was funny at night - we were co-sleeping at the time, and she'd try to latch on, but couldn't. I'd whisper a reminder about the owies, snuggle up, and she'd go right back to sleep. I think there was only one night that she was inconsolable, and I gave in.

NOTE: I highly recommend that you stick the Band-aids to your shirt or pants for a moment before applying them. It softens up the adhesive a bit, and makes removal MUCH more comfy.

Best wishes and luck!
M.