Breastfeeding a Newborn with a 4 Year Old in the House

I think you have to do what feels right to you. My son was 6 when my daughter was born and I breast fed. He did come in while I was feeding her and I just explained to him that mommy's make milk to feed their babies. He didn't seem to have a problem with it and neither does he seem scarred:-) He is now 14. However; if you are not comfortable with it then your son will sense that. You can nurse while mostly covered up so your son wouldn't necessarily see that much. Just make the decision that feels right to you.

YES! You won't "scar him for life". If you treat it as the normal thing it is, he will see it as normal. My son is 4 and he says, "Breasts are for feeding babies!" He'll be one man in the US who understands what breasts are really for! I think when we hide from our children (who are so understanding and adaptable) we perpetuate this idea that breasts are sexual and that nursing should be hidden. Help raise more boys with advanced awareness!!!

My son really is not affected. How would it be bad for him to see? He sees mommy nurturing his younger siblings. Granted, my son nursed untl he was 2 almost to when he sister was born, weaned himself, and then saw me nurse his sister. she nursed almost until the new baby was born and now the new baby nurses. So he has seen me nurse 2 babies besides himself at this young age. He's also seen my sister nurse her youngest. He doesn't stare, he doesn't even really notice because we have never made a big deal out of it. It's a natural part of life in our world. He's seen a few of my friends discreetly nurse, and he doesn't even take special notice, unless he says in his 4 year old way, "She's nursing her baby, mommy."

If you prefer to be discreet, sure. But don't hide. Use this as a time to teach your son what breasts are really about!!! I wish there were more books for children about this, but there aren't. Here is one that I bought for my son (and we still read it, though Daddy HATES when my son asks for it!) http://www.amazon.com/Made-Mamas-Milk-Mary-Olsen/dp/09715...

Yay! Time to raise another enlightened boy who will turn into an enlightened man who understands that breasts were made for breastfeeding babies!

My oldest two were 5 1/2 and 3 1/2 when our youngest was born. I nursed in front of them all the time! My oldest (a boy) never said anything about it or showed any curiosity or concern about it. My daughter (the younger one) asked a couple of simple questions to which I simply replied "this is how babies get their milk. You did the same thing when you were a baby." My youngest has been off the breast for about 8 months now and the other two don't make any mention of it at all.

If you behave as though it's natural and nothing to be concerned about then he will follow your lead. If you try to hide in another room every time you have to feed the baby, he will probably start feeling jealous of all the time you are spending with the baby. It's best to do it out in the open with him enjoying a book or video with you at the same time.

Good luck,
K.

He'll be fine, let him in the room, let him look and let him ask all the questions he feels he needs to. Breastfeeding IS natural, it IS normal and he may ask some questions in public that you aren't comfy with but chances are if you're comfortable nursing he will be too.

I have a almost 6 yo who watched both youngers (2.5 & 10m) nurse and he's very comfortable with it. My 2.5 yo still calls my nipples 'baby milk' which actually makes some things easier, like explaining where milk comes from in a cow that we were helping to milk.

Animal husbandry is a good intro for little minds. Find some nursing baby animals and give him a 'pre-show'...

I do not see why not I would just make sure I was covered up enough if it makes you more comfortable I nurse right in front of my almost 4 yr old and he thinks it is my tummy so I let it stay like that no harm no foul

I nursed my first son until his 2nd birthday, shortly after I was preganant with my second son. I was concerned about the first child's reaction, would he want to nurse as well? Would he be jealous? The first time he saw me nursing his brother he took a long look and ran from the room. I was thinking all kinds of thoughts, then he ran back in the room with his cabbage patch boy doll, lifted his shirt and we "nursed" our boys together.

Your son will pick up from you if its something that is shameful, or natural. You are not bearing your breast in front of him, you are nursing your child, that is what the breast was created for. Explain it to him, simply, he will be fine.

You are panicing over nothing, Stop sexualizing your breasts. He doesn't. I breastfed my youngest in front of his 7yo and 4yo brothers all the time. They mostly ignored it. Mom was feeding the baby. Plain and simple.

Of course, be discrete, you don't want anything hanging out, but if you do not kake a big deal out of it, he wont.

Congratulations on your coming little one! My response echoes many of the other moms who have already posted, but the more who respond, the better you will likely feel about it. My oldest was 5 when our youngest was born, and he was a few months away from 7 when I was stopped nursing. He seemed to accept that the baby was drinking Mommy's milk, which is a special way for mommy's to feed babies (and I reminded him that I fed him that way, too), and that was pretty much the end of it. He does not seem in anyway scarred from seeing my breastfeed for a good 21 months.

You can expect some occasional questions. I'm trying to remember now which of my two older kids asked this question (oldest was 5, younger one was 2 1/2): "Can the baby eat my breast?" You can also expect that he might try to "nurse" his baby doll (we bought my son a baby doll before his first sister was born) or stuffed animals. We didn't make a big deal out of that, either.

Let him see! He'll be curious, but you'll be raising and educating a breast-feeding friendly male. Your future daughter in-law will be thankful.

My son has seen me nurse his little sister w/ no problems. I'm glad I grew up seeing my mom and her sister nursing, so it never occurred to me to try anything else. My guy cousins grew up seeing their younger siblings nurse so they are cool with NIP (nursing in public) also.

Guys who don't grow up seeing breastfeeding as a normal part of life tend to be the ones who are weirded out by it IMO.

You will need to talk about it and explain what you are doing. Remember anything you say he will repeat. Do you have a breastfeeding cover? Great ones now online everywhere. Use that. I breastfed all the time in public and I see no harm in breast feedings with your son in the room.

Do you watch 18 kids and counting on TLC?? They are very conservative but the mother breast feeds all the time while multitasking. She just puts her cover on and goes.

This would be a good time to begin talking to your soon about private parts.

Hi A.,

I just weaned my 11 month old son. I also have a 3 1/2 year old son. My 3 1/2 year old did ask some questions initially, like "what are you doing Mommy?" I always just said Mommy's making milk for the baby. It was never an issue for him and I never worried about hiding it. He also never expressed any interest in doing it himself, even though I had nursed him for 11 months also.
It will also be a lot easier for you, if you don't have to worry about leaving the room everytime you have to nurse. At 4, I doubt he'll remember much about it in the future.
Anyway, hope that helps. Congrats on your pregnancy!

I agree with the previous posters, but I want to turn the question back on you a bit.

Do you want your son to be raised feeling that there is a reason to hide something so natural? Do you want him to wonder if what you are doing is something you are ashamed of?

I understand teaching modesty. So, you show him that in private (your own home) how you breastfeed is one thing, but that when you are in public, you do not run and hide, you simply put a blanket over your shoulder for modesty's sake.

And I fully agree that your future daughter-in-law will be very grateful that her husband is so open and understanding about breastfeeding.

Good luck and congratulations!!! ;-)

A.. Great question.. I had my baby girl and was worried about the same thing with my 3yr old son. I just went for it.. I explained that our milk came from a cow, and baby milk came from Mommy. He was VERY interested, and I didn't hide anything from him, he eventually didn't even notice..but I will warn you..if your son is like mine, they will LOVE the pump! My son wanted to 'help'..not a good idea with extreme suction. :) Good luck. And congrats!!

I didn't have a child of my own in the house, but nursed around many children of all ages. Depending on their familial relationship and age, I used varying degrees of cover-up. No one went home to their Mom and were freaked out by it. Though one little 6-7 year old was so fascinated by the whole process that she went home and told her older brother--who didn't believe it--so his Mom asked me to demonstrate (nipple-free) so he could understand how it worked.

My own experience with children has taught me that you should listen carefully to the question being asked and then ONLY answer that question without embellishment. "Whatcha doin', Mom?" "Feeding the baby". Children who want to know or are ready for more information will generally ask a follow-up question and that is when you give straight-forward details.

Good luck, there is never an easy answer to this sort of thing. I ended up being the sole source of information about all things female for my teenage stepsons. I was happy to give them actual science instead of wive's tales or cultural prejudices. You have the chance to expose your son to something natural and lovely.

Hello mom, congratulation on your new addition.
I think it is beautiful to see a mother breastfeed her babies. I breastfed my daughter with a 3 year old son, and he was next to me the whole time, at first he did ask questions about what he was seeing, but then he got used to seeing mommy with baby girl and it was not a big deal at all. Note that we are very open with our children about our bodies. We shower together and don't see any problem with being naked while mom and dad are changing. It is natural.
Your son will not be scared for life, it depends on how you present it to the kid.
You are going to do great!!!!

It is a very normal natural thing to do. I let my 4 year old son see me nurse and he is has never said a word or been overly interested. They are there to feed our young! Hide it from him and watch his curiosity grow!

It's all natural.

I had a 3 and 4 yr old when my daughter was born. I nursed in front of them. I explained it was natural and that was how it works. Each mommy makes special milk for each baby.

They were interested for a while then became bored and left. I nursed her until she was 15 mos old (and my sons were 4 and 5) and it wasn't a big deal.

Congratulations on your baby boy!!!!

Let him see. He'll be so curious. Don't be surprised to find him nursing his own animals, babies, etc. But, seriously, what is the harm in letting him observe, and maybe take this as a time to snuggle with you and the baby? If you are worried about him wanting to be nursed, my son at 2.3 years who had been weaned 7 months prior didn't remember nursing. In our case, my older son was curious and did want to try nursing, but when I offered to let him try, he decided he wasn't all that interested in nursing, just more interested in figuring out what the new baby meant to his place in the house. Congratulations on the baby!

I see that you have already gotten a lot of great responses, but I felt compelled to respond because I was in your exact position just a few years ago! My son was a very bright, curious 4yo when my daughter was born. He had a lot of questions while I was breastfeeding. I was a little concerned about what embarrassing things he might tell people, but for the most part my fears were unfounded. He saw me breastfeed on many occasions, and I simply explained that his baby sister was drinking her "mama's milk" just like he did when he was little and how important the milk was for her to grow strong and healthy. Congratulations on your pregnancy!

why dont you use a cover and cover youself and baby? if he does see it thats not a big deal just teach him modisty if thats the roll you want to take. congrats on your new baby!