Breastfeeding a Toddler

Here is my story.......... not sure if there is any advice in it.
My son LOVED breastfeeding, and he was, and still is, a very mellow and happy kid, and I swear it was due to the fact he breastfed.......as he was always so happy and peaceful at the breast. I nursed him under blankets on airplanes and he never cried ever and we flew trans-atlantic regularly,I nursed him immediatley after he had his shots,when he injured himself and when he went to sleep for naps and at night. By 2 years he still showed no sign of weaning,nor could I deprive him of the pleasure, he was just so content to breastfeed. I was very conscious of "what people might think" but being a 40 year old first-time mother, a career woman who had no other friends with babies to advise me, I had parents to help/advise me etc so it was just little old me and I had to follow my own maternal instincts which told me "If your baby is happy, why upset the apple cart" It was a bit of a pain as I had to pump at work for about a year( he never took a bottle but had to have breast milk in his baby cereal at day care...where he learnt to go to sleep for his naps without being nursed when he wasn't with me). Then I could stop pumping and my milk flow miraculously settled in to the work/at home supply and demand routine with little or no uncomfortable or untimely engorgement.
I was always taken aback to hear that other mothers only breastfed for 6 weeks, as I just loved this intimate part of motherhood and didn't understand how other mothers didn't feel the same way that I did. Often mothers told me they wished they "hadn't felt the pressure to give up so early" many secretly wished they had nursed for longer, and some moms said their kids just weaned on their own and some momsmilk just driend up. As Hayden got older I still felt confident enough to follow my instincts, after all GOd provided women with a pretty endless milk supply, and this must be for a reason right? And, afterall, the average age for stopping breastfeeding throughout the world is 5. My mom would say, "why are you still nursing him, he has teeth!" That kind of comment made me feel really angry, hardly supportive! But he was my baby and I would make my own choices for him and me. My mum had me in the 60's when only people who couldn't afford formula breastfed ( or so she tells me).
So I breastfed hayden until he was 3. After the age of about 20 months he and I only "nursed" in private at bedtimes and naptimes. When he was 3 and started telling his friends he nursed I decided it was time to stop.....I gave up because I felt I "had to" and luckily I became pregnant so that helped my resolve, eventually losing the baby at 12 weeks :(, not so lucky!
I knew Hayden would be devastated having to give up....so I forewarned him from the age of 2 that one day "my milkies" as he refered to them, would go blue and there would be no milk......so when the time came I......(yes with Hayden's washable finger paint)I painted my nipples blue ( much to the amusement of my husband and girlfriends...when I told them) and showed them to Hayden, who said....."Gosh mummy your milkies are blue, so I guess there is no more milk right?" and it was as easy as that. I did not have to rationalize with him about why he had to stop something he loved, it was just a clear cut finale...
Hope this helps .....

A.,
Although I did not read all of the responses, i read several. The great thing about this forum is the advice from other Moms. I hope you are able to glean what you need from it. I am a firm believer in the benefits both nurtritionally and emotionally when it comes to breast feeding. I also think that it has to be a personal choice. Some women do so well with it, while others do not. Some women are comfortable feeding in this way for years, while others or not. When all of the advice comes in, take some time to evaluate it. Remember that there is nothing wrong with continuing and nothing wrong with stopping. In the end the decision should be made based on what is best for you and your family.

Do not feel guilty or pressured to do something before you are ready. If you want to nurse that child until the cows come home, then by all means do so. If you want to stop, then you know the time is right for you.

Being a mom today carries with it so many other stressors. Nursing for whatever reasons you may have, is your decision. I have witnessed the nursing of a 5 year old myself. She fell and ran to her mother, she initiated the nursing and it was obviously something that comforted her. It lasted less than a minute or two and she was on her way to playing again. I saw nothing wrong with it. I have also seen new borns who never saw a breast, they were bottle fed from the beginning. They never seemed to be the worse for it, very happy healthy children.

Choices, we all have them, we all make them. Children are such a blessing, enjoy him and the time you have with him. Allow the choices you make, to be the ones that are best for the two of you!

I think is a very individual decision. My daughter is currently nursing her first child who will be a year old in Dec. She has already informed us that she intends to continue nursing him as long as he wants to nurse. I nursed all three of my daughters until they were over a year old...and as I recall the weaning just sort of happened naturally. As they began to eat more baby food...drink more from a cup...it just happened. I am not going to give you any advice on this...because as I said it is an individual decision, but, please know that you have give your child SUCH a wonderful start in life by nursing him for this long...congratulations!! It is a wonderful bond between Mother and child that there is just nothing to compare to!!!

It is of my own personal opinion that once the child has reached a year it is time to get him off the nipple. Its just how I feel about it and a lot of moms would disagree. I personally would try weaning him now but still pumping. That way he learns to take a sippy cup, which he should be using now instead of a bottle, and he meets those developmental milestones as far as cups go. Give him breast milk for as long as you want to. It is wonderful for their development!! But I personally feel that we as parents cannot keep our children babies forever. Therefore I believe at around 12 months they shouldnt be on the breast any longer. I hope this helps, good luck and God Bless!!

Hi A.-

I am still nursing my 20 month old daughter... if you would have posted this a month ago, I would have said that she showed no signs of weaning. I still believe (and hope) that she will continue nursing for a while, but she is "slowing down"... it used to be that she could not go to sleep (nap or bedtime) without nursing. That is no longer the case. And where she would nurse 4-5 times a day (sometimes only for 3-5 minutes), she only nurses a few times now. I'll even ask her if she wants to nurse (usually when she's getting crabby), and she will say no.

I also have a patient who just weaned her nearly 3 year old. She said that from about 2 1/2 he only nursed a few times a day (mostly for sleeping), and within the past few months it may have been every other day. So she just stopped and so did he. She said it was a smooth transition because he was ready and she was barely producing anymore.

I think that when we can, it is a wonderful gift to allow the child to "have a say" in when weaning happens. For some it is at a year, or 18 months, or 2 or 3 or later.

I know that it can be exhausting when you have ben nursing for over a year and it does not seem that the frequency is ever going to change. I hope that you can trust that it does.

As a doctor, I encourage my patients to nurse at least to 18 months, as the immune system benefits are incredible.

Yours in health,
Dr. Alyssa

I am now a working mom but stayed home until all my kids were in kindergarten. They are now 6,7 and 9. I breastfed all of mine, and none of them would ever take a bottle, not even a bottle of breastmilk. They were just too attached to me!

My advice is to let your child make his decision as to when he is done. If it doesn't bother you and you are ok with it, then I don't see why you have to force him to stop. I agree that he will probably come to the point when he no longer wants to nurse, and believe me when I say that it will be a sad time for you. It was a milestone I wasn't ready for when my youngest decided she was done. I won't tell you what age that was for fear of scaring you!!! But, seriously, at one point, whether it is peer pressure or just wanting to be a big boy, he will decide he is finished. It will happen when he is ready, and there will be no warning. One day, he'll just be done. That's how it was with all of mine. And, that bond you are creating will last a lifetime. Don't let anyone encourage you to wean him as it's a private decision between you and your child. Some cultures do let their kids nurse forever, but our society seems to frown on it once the kid hits one. If it starts bothering you, then you can make a decision at that time, but don't let anyone try to make your decision for you. I got to the point of hiding it from family as I didn't want to hear it. It was our decision. Bedtime was also HUGE for my youngest, and she loved cuddling up and having that last drink before bed. With two older sisters, I think she appreciated the alone time with mom!

Good luck! It sounds like you're doing a great job with him!

A.,
Please don't listen to the people who are telling you that you've nursed too long. You're dong a great thing for your child physically and emotionally. It's also great help for you when he is teething or hurt or upset. I know how you feel...I didn't think my daughter would ever wean either. I was a little more motivated because she has multiple food allergies, so my diet was very restricted while I was nursing. I started talking to her about how she wouldn't nurse when she was a bigger girl...to put the idea in her head. She stopped on her own at 23 months. I had to look back in my notes to see how it happened, even though it was only about six months ago. At 20 months, she was nursing an average of 4 times a day, but not on a particular schedule. (I did notice that any time I would sit on our bed, it would be a cue for her to nurse, so you might think about what associations he has formed. ) At around 22 months, about twice a day. And at 23 months, she started skipping days. When she hadn't nursed for a week, I decided I was done and ate real food, then for a couple of days, she wanted to nurse but I couldn't let her (because of food allergies), and then we were done. She dropped nursings on her own. I followed the "don't ask, don't refuse" method -- I allowed her to forget about it -- changed the routine a little bit to break the patterns--make sure you have lots of cuddle time. If something reminded her, she would want to nurse. Even now, if she sees me changing clothes, she'll laugh and say, "I used to have mama milk". At almost two and a half she is still totally a mommy's girl--but so confident. Hang in there--follow your child's lead and when you're really ready to be done you can nudge things along. It's great that your husband is so supportive. Good luck. C.
P.S. when you're ready to "nudge" you might try a sticker chart or something...if he falls asleep without nursing, etc, gets a sticker and a certain number of stickers is a prize or treat....or just give him a hand stamp. Oh, and my friend nursed until about 26 months and she started giving her daughter a time limit when she nursed and made it shorter and shorter.

I nursed my son until he was 16 1/2mths. I started weening him at 10mths wanting to be done by the time he 1yrs old. If your wanting to ween and at this point it will be easy for you for the fact he is drinking out of a sippy cup. What I did with my son I did one weening session at a time, I started with the mid morning one, I would give him a sippy cup of juice or water and give him a snack and then entertain him with games or just sitting on the floor with him to distract him of wanting to nurse at that time. I would do this for a few days in a row until I knew for sure he wasnt wanting it day by day. I would pick a different time that I would normally nurse him and do the same thing and do it for a few days and so on and so on. The last one was the night time one and he ween himself from that one. If you want him to be weened by the age of 2 you can start weening him now. Trust me it wont damage him if he dont nurse, he will be getting his nutrition for foods and snacks you give him. Nursing him as long as you have is a great thing. I was so happy to have nursed my son for 16 1/2mths. I would have been happy if it were only 3mths. He was a champ. Just know you did a great thing for your child by being able to nurse him. WAY TO GO MAMA!!!

If your ready and wanting to ween then by all means you can do it. My son showed no signs of wanting to ween either, its up to us a mothers to get them to ween.

A., I nursed all three of my children longer than most these days. First I would like to commend you on making it to 15 months. WOW! What an accomplishment. The thing to remember, is that when you are tired... rest. :O) Sure you say...when? LOL. DRINK DRINK DRINK, and stay hydrated! I laugh at myself even saying it to you, but my middle one I think it was , was a biter. I could NOT wait for her to quit...ha ha. But seriously, this too shall pass. Your husband is right, keep it up. THE single thing that only you can do for your child that noone else can do is to nurse them...if your body still has milk, offer it. "Weaning" is a term that folks like to OVER emphasize when socially THEY are uncomfortable. So hold your head high, and know YOU are the ONLY one that can do this, and YOU CAN DO IT! They are even most likely jealous anyways ...so DO IT anyways.
YES, Nurse him as long as HE seems interested. It is only for a little while, in the course of the time of his life as a whole, and yours too! No regrets! I would however, drop the cows milk. That really isn't as good for his digestive as they say it is... just my opinion. There are sooooo many other better sources of calcium. You too, it can clog you up! Drink Water! There is also a pro- lactating tea at the health food store that I drank " mother's milk? " Don't remember the name of course, but they may even have something newer now!~

Increase your water intake, and your protein intake to gather up some more strength. Why this next thing worked I have no clue, but Broccoli was really awesome for me~! ( gassy for us both, but great for my energy! )Take care of MOM! A nursing toddler deprives you of these and thus you are tired, worn out mentally, physically and spiritually....just like nursing a newborn. Your body is still producing milk for the toddler,( which takes alot of work to do, especially now). BUT remember, like a nursing mother will produce for a calf in the wild... Your body will produce (by his sucking stimulation ) exactly what HIS body needs at that moment in time..instinctively! It is the coolest thing ever. You are immunizing him even still ... now! Not even his doctor could do that for him. Remember that! Emotionally is totally different. Weaning is just a natural way to teach him to "wait" . Do it lovingly, as you sense the need for him and you to depart from the activity. Tell him what a "Big Boy" he is. What a "little man" he is. Not "Momm's little man or Momma's little boy". HE is what HE is, and not just "Momma's" anything. He can and will stand on his OWN one day, and this is just part of that process. Then, Relish the times that you set aside for nursing to take place, and remember, it won't be for long... and this will get you to the first goal of TWO years... Then set another goal insight from there. If that is too long ...set a smaller goal to reach like 18 months, and reach that first. Just keep going. You can do it! There is also a really great place that I called and met some other ladies for support during that time. Some were a bit "granola" to me ; sorry guys :O), but then there were others who had not yet adapted that whole "total organic lifestyle yet" ... ha ha. Anyways, I would really suggest them for the support emotionally and physically , because they are all usually right in the "thick of nursing" right there with you. I think it was La Leche? La Leche league ?? Something like that. Spelling may be wrong, but they were so great. I still have one or two gals that I see from time to time out and about today that are so great to visit with and just talk with when need be. I also had an incredible Lactation consultant from Boone Hospital, and she helped me emotionally even after leaving the hospital. I would call her and she would just be the "right" lending ear that I needed. Her name is Pat Stewart! IF She still works there, she will talk to women who need support by phone still I believe. You may have to leave a message, but she WILL call you back if she still works there. SHE is a huge Le Leche Leaque supportor as well.
I am so tickled to be able to give back some of what was given to me. I had a ton of negative press from friends and others that just didn't really think it was acceptable and the folks that I found otherwise out there were truly a god-send. My mom (nursed all 7 of us) , my sister in law (8) ...Plus it sounds like your husband as was / is mine, is truly supportive and so lean on him as well. That is soooo great. Be thankful for that.
How exciting for you and your son. I couldn't wrap my mind around the whole 5 yr old nursing thing either, but I did do the Two 1/2 with my oldest...the biter lasted only 16 months/ 18 months?? can't place that because it just sort of ended one day when she discovered a binky, and then my littlest was 3. On her birthday. We had discussed it for 6 months prior, that on her birthday the milkie / or we called it " Ba" , was going to be gone. All gone, but that Mommy would still cuddle with her anytime she wanted. We nursed at night and then left it until "the sun came up in the morning". Kept her "busy" with other things all throughout the day and eleviated the nap time during the day/ thus the nursing in the day as well... and Put her in a preschool program at that time , and so there just wasn't any "need" for it. We kept up the night time and the morning ...I got up first and made breakfast or would plan activities that required getting up and going each day ...ie. The library, or Runge Center, Play Dates or whatever to lean off the morning deal and then it was just night time... THAT was harder, but we got throuh it. One day at a time :O) ... But when her birthday came around, we cuddled and she patted the " ba " and said " all gone isn't it? " ... " Uh Ha " ...I said. and gave her a big girl squeeze and we snuggled until she fell asleep.. and
I went to bed in tears with my hubby, and he said, " Job well done Mom" .... So as I sit here in tears again...
It was ALL worth it and I would NEVER give those up for anything!
The Bible says that when Issaac was done nursing , Abraham gave a big feast in celebration. So you could discuss this with your hubby and maybe plan a Big Boy party for him when he finishes or advances to the next level of his growing. We had to do this with my first, because I was pregnant with my second and it hurt too much to continue, although I was considering the possiblity of "tandem" nursing. But never quite got my mind totally around that concept. So we threw her a Graduation Party and gave her gifts and my parents came and we celebrated "her" ...and then the milkie was all gone! Plus it gave time to rest before number two came along! ... Be Blessed, sorry so long.

My son just turned 16 mos. old and he still nurses in the morning and evening. We travel internationally constantly and it really seems to comfort him when we're on the road again. In Europe the standard seems to be around 2-3 years so I don't have any problems continuing for now. I agree I don't plan to be nursing at 5 b/c I think that's a bit awkward but we're plannin on going until he's about 2. Way to go nursing so long. When I chose to breastfeed I was the only one in my family or friends who even considered it. It was very difficult in the beginning but has proven worth it.

kudos to you for still nursing!!!!! mine went straight from the breast to a sippy cup. i nursed until he was 20 months old. the bedtime nursing was the hardest to let go of. in our case when he graduated to his toddler bed we began a bedtime routine of reading a story, with him in his bed. in the beginning i just kept reading until he fell asleep and slowly worked towards a one story a nite routine. mine is now almost 5 and is still a momma's boy! while i was glad when he was weaned, i am grateful that we were able to stick with it so long and you will be too!

I nursed my daughter until 22 months. By then, it had evolved naturally to first thing in the morning and last thing at night (and of course she was eating table food and drinking milk as well), and then just last thing at night. I wasn't trying to make any statement, it was just something that we had been doing successfully and neither of us seemed particularly motivated to stop (if I found it difficult, that would have been different, but at that point, it was second nature and wasn't a big time suck like with a newborn).

BTW, I got a lot of flak from some people, including my own parents!

One day, my daughter nursed as usual off one breast, then made a funny face when she started to nurse on the second breast and refused to continue. She ate off only one breast for two more days, and then made the same funny face and refused them both. That was it. She was naturally weaned, and I never had to do a thing (and I didn't have to have any big emotional build-up, worrying, or mental preparation).

I don't know how common this is, but my point is, I just let Mother Nature (in the form of my child) show me the way, and it was clear as day what to do. I sometimes try to remind myself, before there was Internet, advice columnists, pediatricians, etc, moms were figuring this stuff out by just doing what felt right. I doubt he'll want to nurse till 5! Good luck.

I weaned my youngest (who is 30 months now) when he was 2 years & about 3 months old. He was nursing for the cuddle time & it felt like he was sucking on an empty breast (I think I dried up). We still have a lot of cuddle time without nursing.
I really enjoyed our nursing time, though there were people (even family) who were uncomfortable with it. Keep in mind about those people that nursing is between you & your son & it doesn't matter what they think. Don't let judgmental looks or words deter you from nursing your toddler. I am glad that your husband is so supportive. My husband was supportive, but he got tired of sharing my breasts with our toddler (I told him that it was between me & our son & that I was not going to stop until our son was ready). Don't get me wrong, I love my husband dearly, but our youngest is our last & our only baby that was able to nurse for more than 1 month.
Personally I would have stopped at 3 y/o if I could have nursed that long, buy I know women who have nursed longer than that. It is a personal decision on when to stop.
Enjoy nursing as long as you can/want. They grow up too fast!

God Bless!

My first daughter just turned 4. She still nurses more often than not at bedtime. She was nursing several times through the day and sometimes in the night when she was your son's age. I didn't really have a problem with it until I became pg again, and my nipples got really sore. At first I assumed I should wean, but she was very much not ready! But I got Adventures in Tandem Nursing, a great book, which had some ideas. One was to set a limit on the time for nursing, such as counting to ten. I also would defer it until after the next snack/meal, or when we got home from an outing, etc. That's how we got down to just before bed. We also started giving a glass of soy milk right before bed, so she wouldn't be hungry in the night.

I think we are really close now to finally ending it. Some nights she goes to sleep with her dad, and I don't even come in. But if she asks, I go in. At one point I started singing a little song, it's a chant I learned in yoga. I used to sing it 10 times, then gradually cut one or two now and then, so we are down to 4 now.

I feel this is a process in which she has had some choice, and I have responded to her needs. She has not always had what she wanted, but I've tried to be honest with her and to let her know that I am taking her feelings into consideration as I direct this process. I believe that our relationship is closer for it. I feel pretty much done at this time, but I also know it'll be a big milestone when it does happen, so I don't want to rush it.

I think you can take some steps to move toward less nursing. If he isn't ready, you'll know. When I first tried to start weaning, we saw a lot of really stressed behavior. I was sure that it had to do with not feeling the security of knowing the breast was always available. So we went through a period of letting her nurse as often as she wanted, but not for very long. Then I cut back more gradually, and it was fine.

I would also say that it is okay to have mixed feelings. There are many times in parenting when parents do what they feel is best, even though they might like something else. It's only as big of a deal as you choose for it to be. My feelings have been through a lot stages, but if I had listened to the people who say "If you are resentful, you must wean," I would have done it a long time ago, and regretted it. I am glad that my momentary feelings haven't taken precedence over choosing what is best for my daughter in the big picture.

I guess what I mean is, when you do wean, do it on your terms.

A.,
I know how you are feeling. I nursed my almost 3yo DD until she was 18months. I think she would have continued, but I was just ready to have my body back LOL. I had read several things about how best to wean your child and the thing that worked for us was this. I got her a stuffed teddy bear that she had had since she was born. I gave it a name and told her that mommy didn't have any more milk for her to drink. I would give her her sippy cup with milk in it and her bear and would sit in the rocking chair with her while she drank and held it. It took a couple of times for her to get used to it, but it really was a very smooth transition.

She was also nursing after waking up from overnight, naps and bedtime. I just cut one feeding out a day and eventually she didn't even ask anymore. My advise would be that if you are ready, then wean. You don't want it to start to feel like a chore. Start with cutting out one a day until they are all gone. Good luck!

I highly recommend the book How Weaning Happens. It talks about how every child is different, but they all, at some point, outgrow the need to nurse. It also has a lot of suggestions for gently encouraging weaning and how to tell if your child is ready for it. It really helped me through the second year of nursing my daughter. Remember that nursing is a two way relationship. Both you and your son should enjoy the nursing sessions. If it has become one sided, you should try to evaluate the situation and make the choice that is best for your family. Your instincts will be your best guide in deciding what will work and what won't.

P.S. If you get a lot of pressure to wean at this point and you don't feel that it's in best interest of your family, you can always quote that the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding for two years and as long after that as is mutually desired. Having an authority to back up my decision seemed to help my relatives accept our choice to continue nursing.

Good luck in your journey. Regardless of what you choose to do, you've already given your son a priceless gift and he is fortunate to have such a caring and nurturing mother.

I am in the same boat. My son is 13 months old and he is the exact same way. I said I would start to wean him when he turned one, but he in now way wants to. He too drinks juice and breastmilk from a sippy cup. His early morning after lunch and going to bed times are very important to him. My lactation consultant told me to nurse until he wants to stop but after a year im exhausted. But i keep thinking, im doing what is best for my child. i hope that helps you. good luck.

If he is over 1 there and eating real food then there is no nutritional need so he can be weaned when you are ready. If you are tired of it then he will pick up on that. Breast feeding is between you and your child not your husband. You can continue to snuggle during the times you would normally breastfeed. Please don't get to the point where you start resenting your time breastfeeding.

I breastfed my son until he was 2.5yo. And, he is the healthiest of the 7. I have nursed all 7 anywhere from 10 mos to 2.5yo. The WHO says that all babies should be nursed for 12 mos, it is the lucky ones who are nursed until their second birthday. And, remember, they are only little once, and then they become onhery hairy teenagers.

A.,
Congrats! You've done so well for Sam, and you're still listening to his needs, not just what society tells you he needs. I am a mother of 2 long-term nursers, I tandem nursed, and am still nursing my younger daughter. I let both my children basically self-wean, it does happen, and it's beautiful to watch. As your child gets older, your feelings are more a part of the weaning process, and it is a relationship that both of you should have a say in. As long as you are both happy, it is good. You might like going to a La Leche League meeting (find one at http://www.llli.org/WebUS.html), where you will likely see other mothers nursing their toddlers. A couple of books I found reassuring and helpful are Mothering Your Nursing Toddler by Norma J. Bumgarner and How Weaning Happens by Diane Bengson. Both are likely available through an LLL library. Remember, the World Health Organization recommends nursing at least 2 years. As you go, you, your husband, and your son will see what is working for you and what is not. Nursing is so helpful through the difficult toddler stage, and they WILL wean. It has been so nice for me to not have to push it (my husband is proud to have our babies nurse so long) and make things difficult, but sometimes things come up and weaning does need to be pushed. Trust you, your son, and your husband. You together will find the right time. I also wanted to share this article about the "natural age of weaning" for humans as looked at through a lot of different angles comparing us to other animals... I find it fascinating. http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detwean.html I'm sorry my answer is such a jumbled mess. Enjoy your nursing relationship. I have so many other wonderful things I would like to talk about in regards to nursing a toddler, but it's just too many for my time now. My older daughter was one who just LOVED to nurse. She would rather nurse than do anything else, I thought sometimes and didn't know if she'd ever wean (or how I would feel when she did), but she did. She nursed less and less. Then I was nursing her twice a day, but I didn't like nursing at night (I was nursing two at the time) and so I cut that nursing out (gently, with love and cuddles and stories) and then she was nursing once a day (more if it was a bad day) and then I realized she didn't nurse EVERY day and then it was 3 times a week and then just occasionally, and then I just realized that it had been at least a month since she had nursed. So painless for both of us. I hope your nursing story has a beautiful end. Feel free to email me if you have any questions or anything. Support is here!

K.

PS. Someone mentioned LLL being a bit granola, but I would say try different groups, as each has a different feel. I have been to several different areas to their meetings, and some I like better than others, you are not confined to the one closest to your house! Find one that feels like a good fit for you.

My son weaned himself around 14 months even though I wasn't quite ready to give it up! I would let your son continue to nurse as long as that's what you want. And like your husband said by 2 see how's he's doing...a lot can change by then. I think 2 is a good age to stop, after that it doesn't seem quite as necessary. My 3 children weaned themselves early into toddlerhood and they are still healthy kids! By 2 you can start giving them vitamins and more nutricious foods.
Take care,
V.