Breastfeeding Advice - Clearwater,FL

Try letting him fuss for food a little longer and after a few extra minutes of hunger he should willingly attach my baby girl did the same thing and when I let her be for 4-5 minutes longer she "latched" right on and I haven't had a problem since. She no longer even takes the breastmilk in a bottle she only will take it from me.

I used a nipple adapter thing when my son was born because he wouldn't latch good they should have them at beaches baptist pharmacy. I think they are for inverted nipples but they may help. They are nipple covers with a longer tip than a regular nipple. Other than that he may just need the bottle because he is used to it and trying to do both can cause nipple confusion. Best of luck

Hi J.. I have two little girls. My first daughter is 2 and I breast feed her for the first 8 months. It was so easy for her and I loved doing it. My second child is now 4 months old and like you she was born early. I had the same problem. I wish that bottle had never been introduced, but we had to do what we had to do for her health. When we got home she refused to take my breast. I always introduced the breast first but she would only take it from the bottle. The first couple of weeks all feedings ended with me crying, her hysterical. I felt terrible and guilty especially since I breastfeed my first so easily. It went on like that for the first month and my milk supply started to dwindle no matter how much I pumped. I am all for breastfeeding so just keep on doing what you are doing. I ended up having to give my daughter formula at 3 months. I would never want to discourage anyone from breastfeeding, but just remember you are a wonderful mom no matter how you feed your child. Its hard but staying relaxed is the best way to go about it.

J.,

You are a good Mommy. It sounds like you are doing everything right. Be patient. Keep doing everything you are now and try to relax. Breastfeeding can be a challenge, especially with the factors you are facing related to the preemie status, but it should be enjoyable too. Just love on your little man and he will grow up nice and strong and hopefully transition over more smoothly to the breast as time goes by.

Good morning. I have not dealt with the problems you are having so all I can do is provide you with the resources that were most helpful to me. Kellymom.com and Le Lache League were a huge help in starting a helpful nursing relationship with my son. Good luck to you.

Hi J.. I'm a veteran breastfeeding Mom and still had the worst time with my youngest son. He wasn't premature (thankfully), but we did give him breastmilk in a bottle from time to time (this was done with the hope that he would not be like his older brother who refused anything BUT the breast). In the process, he got used to the bottle nipples and began to prefer them over mine. I decided to use nipple shields when nursing him so I could slowly wean him back to preferring the breast. It was frustrating to say the least. We began each session with the nipple shield on and then I took it off earlier and earlier (and put him right back to the breast ASAP). We had the most difficult time. He would cry, I would feel guilty for ever offering him the bottle in the first place, and it became a vicious cycle. Long story short (and several lactation consults later), I just stuck with it (I'm a HUGE believer in breastfeeding), and pumped with every nursing whether it was successful or not (to keep up my supply), and one day he just latched on right from the beginning and we never needed the shield again (I never gave him a bottle after that, either). Some babies get frustrated because they get formula immediately when using the bottle and they have to wait a bit for Mom's letdown. One solution for that is to stimulate your letdown BEFORE he's starving and then offer him the breast so he gets the milk right away. You can stimulate your letdown manually or you can use a pump (whatever works best and makes you most comfortable). My sincere advice is to make certain you keep pumping at each feeding whether he nurses or ends up with a bottle so your supply remains good. If your supply goes down, that will frustrate him (and you), too. Another important tip: try not to frustrate him by forcing him to the breast too much (always try, but surrender to the bottle before he gets too upset) -- he might develop a negative association with the breast and that is harder to overcome.

Hang in there. Breastfeeding is not easy...but it's SO worth it.

Mom of 5 boys!

J.,

I would defintely try and talk to http://www.lalecheleague.org/ to get info. My mom had a similar situation - I refused to take a breast. What she did was - she pumped and fed me from the bottle. She did that for 9 months when her milk supply went down. The only time I would latch on was at night.

Anyway, it's fine to feed breast milk through a bottle, but make sure you get a good breastpump to maintain the supply as long as possible. I would also be very concerned about your pediatrician's advice on supplementing with formula. You really shouldn't have to do that. I would check with LLL on that too.

T.

Hi J.,

It sounds to me like you're doing a great job. If he's willing to nurese with the nipple shield, then that's fine. Sometimes preemies have issues with being able to feel the entire breast on the inside of their mouth. These babies often don't have fat pads on the inside of their cheeks. When babies nurse they do it by feel, so if they can't feel enough of it in their mouth they won't suck properly. This doesn't stimulate the breast enough to creat a fast enough let down, thus frustrating them. See if you can make it less frustrating for both of you by doing the following: Feed from his bottle first. Next, put him skin to skin (on his tummy) on your chest. Then just support him as he moves. He'll move towards your breast. When he gets to the breast he'll probably just play with the nipple (at this point). Let him. Let him see it doesn't need to be frustrating (for either of you). Eventually (after a week or so of doing this often during the day) he'll work on latching on. He'll need to latch from the bottom of the breast up so that means he'll go a little below the breast with his mouth. In the meantime, he won't be frustrated because he's not frantically hungry and you'll still have skin to skin bonding for both of you. It sounds to me like you have been a great mom and very determined to give him breast milk. Any amount he gets is a wonderful gift. Try to relax and enjoy bonding.

Good luck.

If you need some more information, feel free to contact me.

S. Mills
Touched By An Angel
Childbirth Services, Inc.
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I think if he is getting your milk, even if it it through a bottle, he is getting the major things he needs. I am having similar issues. My little one, Brennan, he is 5 weeks and does not want to nurse anymore. I think they realize that the bolle is easier and they get their food faster, so why nurse?? My oldest was the same way. Its hard, I have cried several times...but he is still getting his breast milk, so I am becoming ok with it. I dont know if thei helps you or not, maybe it will just ease your mind... :)

Good luck
E.

I know it is difficult and you want that time to bond with your son. But I feel that is all it ends up being is frustrating for the both of you. It might not be the best way to go. Although I would not give up just yet. You said you were only tring this once or twice a day. If I were you I would try every feeding. BUT do not get frustrated and do not allow him to. Just try a couple of times and if it does not work. Well then use the bottle. Next feeding try again. But just do not try so much that you and Ethan end up frustrated. I feel that it might be that getting to be a bad experience for him if every time you and him end up in frustration. Do not allow it to get that far and maybe he will be more comfortable to try more the next time. I hope this helps and good luck to you and him both:)

I breastfed both of my children (which totalled 6 years of breastfeeding altogether). Please hang in there---Le Leche can offer support and perhaps another few meetings with a lactation consultant (I know a very good one in Bradenton---not sure where you are). ANY amount of breastmilk is beneficial to your baby- so don't dispair.

J.,
I wouldn't worry too much. If he takes to the bottle easier I would just let him do that. Some women worry so much over the breastfeeding but it doesn't work for every baby because each child is different. Don't stress over it just enjoy Ethan while he's still a baby because believe me they grow up so fast. Be blessed!!!!
B.

This must be so frustrating for you. I have a friend who had to use the nipple sheild for a few months before her baby was able to latch on without it. It feels like the bottle the baby is used to so you have to wean off it gradually.

This is from the La Leche League web site:
http://lalecheleague.org/FAQ/back.html

A very helpful article from our member publication, NEW BEGINNINGS, is "When A Baby Won't Nurse," by Carol Brussel. It lists the following tips for getting baby back to the breast:

Try nursing when your baby is asleep or very sleepy, such as during the night or, while napping.
Vary nursing positions. Some babies will refuse to nurse in one position but will take the breast in another.
Nurse when in motion.
Nurse in a quiet, darkened room or a place that is free from distractions.
Give your baby extra attention and skin-to-skin contact, which can be comforting for both of you.
When offering the breast, undress to the waist and clothe your baby in just a diaper when ever possible. Use a shawl or blanket around you if the room is chilly.
Use a baby sling or a carrier to keep the baby close between attempts to nurse.
Take warm baths together to soothe.
Sleep together in order to provide closeness and more opportunities to nurse.

I am a first time mom also. My son is almost three months old. I started him on the breast and then he got thrush when he was a week old and it got so bad that wouldn't take my breast anymore. So I started pumping. My feelings were as long as he was getting the breast milk it really didn't matter whether it came from my actual breast or from a bottle. I am no longer breastfeeding for a number of reasons, but don't beat yourself up over not being able to actually give him the breastmilk from the breast. Just look at this way now your partner can help with the feedings and bond with the baby. The other advantage is that your not permantely attached to your child and if want to get out of the house you can.

Any breastmilk is beneficial for your baby. Kudos to you for being so dedicated. Keep offering the breast, preferably when Ethan is not very hungry and less likely to get frustrated. It may also help to finger feed or feed with an eyedropper a small amount to start off the feeding (avoid rubber nipples) then offer the breast. It is more work for him to nurse than bottlefeed so just keep trying. He will get it eventually if you persevere. You may also want to consider a supplemental nursing system (SNS) for the formula feedings so he is at the breast. The more frequently you nurse the better your supply will be and should meet Ethan's nutritional needs without needing formula. Check out www.lalecheleague.org for local La Leche league meetings for extra support.

Hi J.:
First, I have to say, I give you a lot of credit for being so persistant. I too have a two-month old. It is my first time breastfeeding and I have found it to be challenging and a learning process for both me and my son without all the complications you've had. Unfortunately, everyone I've talked to and everything I've read told me that if your baby isn't breastfed consistantly the first few days of life they usually will not take the breast simply because it is so much more work for them than drinking from a bottle. On a positive note, look at it this way, you've done your best and you're still providing him with your milk. Feedings with your baby should be a bonding experience, not a frustrating one. My advice is don't worry about him getting it from your breast. Continue to give him your breastmilk half the time, but give it to him in the bottle. Just make sure that you feed him the bottle on your lap. Before my first child was born I read an article that said that bonding with bottle fed babies can be just the same between parents and children provided the parents make sure they feed their children on their lap. Then the child associates the bottle with their parent. It also makes it much easier to take them off the bottle later. When the child is older and wants more freedom to go and play they leave the bottle to do it just like they leave the parent. I fed both of my daughters this way and I have to say it definitely worked, the bond between my daughters and I was not compromised in the least. I decided to breast feed my son just to see if I felt a stronger bond with him now and I don't think so. To me it's holding him, rocking him, talking to him, and gazing at each other while he's eating that create that bond, not what he's drinking from. Take care and good luck, T.

Get rid of the nipple shields because that can cause a lot of confusion. Try to pump for a couple of secounds before you put your son to the breast. That way your nipple will be out and your son has a better chance of laching on. My son had a hard time because the way my nipples were, so I pumped for the first 8 weeks and then that pretty much toughned them so he could get a better hold of them. and I kept giving him the breast every chance I got. Or give him a pacifer and let him suck that for 2 seconds, then take it out and quickly give him the breast.. it worked for my son..well good luck and don't give up!!!!

First of all, great job so far! You've given him a great start by giving him pumped milk from the start, and you're seeking help to continue, instead of just giving up. The other moms are correct, breast milk is best but it is not the only.

Having said that, it's important to realize that supplementing, over time, creates a cycle that will reduce your breastmilk supply and create the need for more supplementation. If that's what ped. said, though, definitely take his advice over mine. However, if you really want to breastfeed, and it's really important to you to give that to your son (and preemies especially need it!), then I would shop around for a more breastfeeding friendly pediatrician.

If you do continue to supplement with formula, please consider offering him the AVENT bottle. The large nipples on the AVENT seem to mimic the breast. Then when you put the avent nipple in his mouth, try to get as much of the nipple in as you can; with breastfeeding, they need to take in a large amount of breast tissue to properly latch, and you want to try to mimic that as closely as possible. His lips should go all the way, or almost all the way to the white collar.

Also mimicking breastfeeding, you might want to take off your shirt and bra when you give him a bottle, and tuck his arm behind you and get him real close to your skin, just as he would be positioned on the breast. Most people hold the baby away from them when they bottle feed.

Also, you should be pumping each time he gets a bottle, so that your body senses a demand at the right times, for the right number of times.

You could drip a little formula on your nipple (is there a way you could try it without the shield for a few times?)right before feeding so that he tastes the familiar formula and thinks it's a bottle. That might "trick" him into breastfeeding enough times for him to get used to, and even prefer, the breast.

If you're using a pacifier, lose it. Be his "human pacifier" for a few weeks. Meaning, put him on the breast even when you don't think he's hungry. Even if he doesn't eat, this method will help signal your body to make lots of milk, and might make up for the lack of demand from the formula feedings. It will be a sacrifice of YOU time for a short while, but if your ultimate goal is to get him breastfeeding then this will likely help. You can always give him back the pacifier once breastfeeding is well established.

Carry him around. A lot. Get a front carrier and wear him as much as you can take. Hold him, more than you think is normal for a mom to hold a baby. Exaggerate it. This will help with the bond that might be slightly severed from the extended hospital stay.

Get lots of good healthy food, and good healthy rest. I know, easier said than done! But if you're going to be the one taking care of the baby, then you need to make sure you are taking care of yourself first. The housework can wait, but this is your only year (or less or more) to do this with him, and it's a short year! So sleep, eat, drink lots of water. Cuddle baby Ethan. Enjoy him. Breastfeed as much as you can; if that's only once a day, remind yourself that that's better than none at all. Let yourself and Ethan learn how to breastfeed, but don't let it consume you to the point that it causes emotional damage.

Just my input! As with any advice, you take the parts that you want, and ignore the parts you don't want. :)

H.

FIrst off let me say congrats!!!
Now since he was a premie you will have problems with nursing, no tonly due to bottles being given in teh NICU, but he was very young and had a weak suck reflext upon birth.
try not to get frustrated, i know easier said then done, but try not to. keep attempting nursing. but don't force it.you may want to try for a part of the day, just to go shirtless, adn allow your son to lay on your chest with your breasts within easy reach. try not to do this when he's starving. When you are tryign to nurse, also, try and drip some expressed milk onto your breasts, this way it iwll entice him to latch on. Also, ask your LC about a SNS as well. OTher than that, just be patient, if you get too frustrated, by all means offer a bottle and go and pump. it doesn't do well at all for you to get overly frustrated, cause your baby can feel that adn then won't want to nurse effectively. continue to pump to protect your supply. And GL
B.

I read once a long time ago about putting a bottle nipple over your nipple and over the days cut away little by little the bottle nipple till he is taking just your breast. Guess it would be worth a try. Maybe try the same thing with nipple shield. What is the problem with your nipples? If they are inverted try pulling them out manually before a feed or use a breastpump to draw them out. Keep trying it is worth it for your baby and you.

Don't beat yourself up about breastfeeding. The goal is to get your child nutrition to be able to grow. The means isn't nearly as important. Feed him however he will take the food. I've had two kids and didn't breastfeed either one. My kids are both very healthy formula fed babies. No fuss, no stress... and they are in great health. Do what works, not what's a struggle. Being a new parent is a struggle enough without adding addition pressures like this on yourself.

J.,
Even from the bottle they are getting the same nutrients. I am a mom of 3 and believe strongly in breast feeding (my twins were premie too), but you can only try and do as much if he is not latching or do not prefer it. The best time to try is when he is in sleep or a bit sleepy. I am not familiar with the sheild, but the milk comes easily at the same speed/quantity, from the bottle I believe, than when you nurse (until the child gets used to of it). Please, don't feel bad if he does not nurse, he is still getting all the benefits. My twins were hardly ever nursed, I also pumped and even though it was more work for me, they were fine and that's what matter -- the child is fed and happy -- and you are NOT stressing over it. My oldest nurse for almost 10 months and when I wanted to introduce bottle, he cried and cried. It was a nightmare to switch him to bottle or cup. So, each child is different. I know several moms who either were forced (like myself) to use bottle, or used bottle because of convenience, and if you look at the children now, you won't know -- who was nursed and who was not ...YOU ARE DOING THE BEST ...Try but if it does not work out, don't beat yourself because of that.

Take Care