Hi everyone,
I have been breastfeeding my son (second child) Ethan, who is 9 months today, but also supplementing with formula sometimes. That all started when he was about 4 or 5 months old. We had a health scare with our daughter Chloe(3 on wednesday), I was having a hard time taking care of my babies let alone myself and my milk supply went way down, and Ethan wasn't eating enough and crying A LOT. My pediatrician recommended a bottle as to not have more stress of the baby not eating on top if everything else, let me add we had just moved into a new house and my Grandmother whom I had been very close with had just passed within a month or two of this time. I only had to give him 2 bottles and felt it took some weight off of me and my milk supply was completely better in a couple of days. I continued breastfeeding only giving him bottles (formula) when were out or people babysat stuff like that. It has continued like that for the past few months. Present day: Ethan eats (drinks) 4 times a day most of which is breastmilk, I do give him formula sometimes for 1 or 2 of those feedings. Lately while he is breastfeeding he is all over the place, he kicks, he bites, he rolls around, he scratches me.... not purposefully or at least it doesn't seem to be, just all over the place. He likes to touch my face but you know his little hands are strong and he scratches, he pulls on my breast and scratches, all the while EATING! He comes off and looks around, than latches back on. Biting has been a real issue, in the beginning I would sort of get loud and say "no biting" and stop for a minute or two, that seemed to make it worse so I tried a much gentiler approach and that has helped at least the strength of his bite, and it is not as often. Needless to say when he drinks a bottle he lays perfectly still and happy. I am not sure what I can do to help this situation, I am on the fence right now about whether or not to just stop breastfeeding him, and am wanting to know if anyone has experienced this sort of thing with their children. Also let me add, my daughter was only breastfed until about 10 months and then "weened" herself which I have now learned may have just been a strike, but I was not informed at the time (never heard of it) she just gradully didn't want to breastfeed anymore and she had really only had 5 bottles Ever at that point, which were pumped breast milk. Please any advice on what I can do would be so helpful, I am not ready to give up breastfeeding but at the same time, lately, I feel this is hurting our bond more than helping it. Thanks C.
Thank you everyone sooo much. Things have been a little better, I decided to breastfeed him when we could be alone and he could have quiet time, no sister singing, daddy playing with sister, dog running around, and he has been nursing
much better. I tried a lot of things people suggested and most of them worked with the addition of QUIET, poor guy he is just so easily stimulated. So I have only been giving him bottles when we are out or lots of people around, and the effort has really helped him settle down. Thank you again eventhough he is having some formula I am able to continue breastfeeding which is what I wanted. I am also going to try and pump this week so if I can't be alone with him he can still have beastmilk. :)
Maybe he is getting milk faster from the bottle and when he is breastfeeding he is getting frusterated because it isn't coming out fast enough?
My daughter has done that for a long time. We don't use formula, but, I do pump and give her bottles for day care and babysitters.
It's really a form of playing, and, they sometimes do use your nipple as a teether. They are just too young to understand that it hurts. If he bites, try pulling him off and sitting him on the floor and say "no biting." In a few seconds (or minutes) you could start to feed again.
I can usually tell if my daughter will bite - she gets this look on her face, and slows her suck a little. If he is using a bottle - watch him just as you would breastfeeding, and don't let him bite the bottle nipple either - or he'll think biting while nursing is OK.
My daughter seems a little all over the place, and it's our special time to spend together. They get to be so close to you and have all your attention at that time - they like to touch you. But, he's also at that age where everything is interesting, so, pulling off to look around is normal. Think about when you eat - you don't eat continuously the whole time - you talk, look around...etc. Imagine if everything in the world was new to you, how much you would look around!
My daughter will bite when she's cutting a tooth or even sometimes if I'm busy talking w/ my hubby and she wants my attention. Those are the only times she'll bite. Try taking your son into a quiet, dimly lit room and pay attention to him while he nurses. Hold his hand, make eye contact and talk to him. At this age they do become somewhat of a wiggle worm during nursing and at times it is annoying, but it will pass. It might also be that he is not getting as much of a milk flow like the bottle gives and it makes him restless, so do like above and make it a special time and then still supplement since he's already 9 months or change to a soft tip sippy cup and give some food. My daughter was using a sippy cup by age 10 months and liked to use her hands to squish avocado as such.
Do what feels right and best for you, everyone is different.
Wow! What a multitude of issues you are dealing with. Let me begin by saying that I, too, breastfed my son who is now 4. I went back to work after 8 weeks and had to resort to pumping and only breastfeeding him twice before we both wnet to bed at night. Having your baby drink breast milk from a bottle is not the end of the world. And yes, it is a wonderful bonding experience. But when it becomes more stressful than rewarding (for both of you it seems) it may be time to give it up. You may have to supplement with formula if your milk production decreases, but that, too, is not the end of the world. There are plenty of babies that are formula fed for whatever reason and they grow up just fine.
Do what works best for you and your child. Don't let anyone bully you or make you feel bad about your choice.
And remember, try to take moments for yourself where you can (bubble bath, reading a book, etc. Moms must nurture themselves as well.
Best of luck to you!
A. P
PS You could also try making his bottles 1/2 breastmilk, 1/2 formula.
Most kids learn feeding manners early on, some later than others. My five month old was a dream during breastfeeding, but now that he has to be on formula, he behaves just like your son does.
My trick was to give him a "feeding" necklace to play with.
I basically strung pasta on yarn and made a long chunky necklace that I wear while feeding him. (I painted my pasta with food coloring so it'd be safe should he decide to stuff it in his mouth.) I've seen online stores selling the same necklaces made with big wood or glass beads. Basically, this gives kidlet something to do with his hands while you feed him.
At 9 months, I'd hope you're also introducing solids. He sounds as if he's ready for more interaction with his food source and maybe even ready to put his hands to work with a soft spoon.
I know exactly how you feel on the whole idea of weaning. When the doctor finally told me that I MUST put my son on fortified formula or risk him dying from malnutrition (he couldn't hold breastmilk or most formula down and has a ton of allergies on top of everything) I sat down and cried for days. It was soooo special feeling, and it was yanked away. But, the necklace helped. He still wants me to be his primary food giver, and now his Dad feels more involved (he was very jealous of the fact that I was the only one who could feed the baby up to that point) and my wee boy had finally reached his goal weight after only two weeks on fortified formula. It's been two months now, and well, I can't say I don't miss breastfeeding... but I seriously am happy that my little allergy-ridden wee one is gaining weight.
I have the same problem except that I don't supplement with formulas. My daughter does the same thing, the kicking, munching and all. Tell me if you get any answers
I would not be too hard on yourself whatever decision you make. Nobody can tell when your child graduates high school whether you nursed them or not. Do what you can, love your child and it will shake out in the end. If you're stressed, the baby's stressed, so relax, take a deep breath, and do what's best for YOU and YOUR baby.
As far as the scratching and biting, my daughter would turn herself completely upside down, all the while latched on, and push her feet under my chin. People would laugh and comment they'd never seen a baby nurse like that. She was always kicking, pulling, nipping, etc. and I think it was just to entertain herself while nursing. Your son's probably not doing that with the bottle because it's a novel sensation and entertaining in and of itself. If you want to increase your milk supply to nurse better, drink caffeine, eat oatmeals and cereals...all those things increase milk supply. If you're really worried about, contact the Nursing Station in Louisville, they can help you increase your milk supply no prob. If you decide to switch to bottles don't beat yourself up...nursing is great for your baby, but having a calm, happy mother is even better.
Good luck sister! Hang in there!
Sounds like a nursing strike. My son did this around 10 months. He thought the world was more interesting. It lasted a month and I was ready to give up. Then one day he realized he'd rather have mommy then the world and went back to nursing. Although he was a 5 monute nurser but he was always a fast eater from the start (like 10 minutes). Stop the bottles and only nurse. Give him formila in a sippy cup if you must give him formula. It will make weaning later better too cause you dont have to take 2 things away from him. I gave my son pumped milk in a sippy he never got a bottle.
I strongly recommend seeking out a La Leche League meeting to talk with breastfeeding experts and other breastfeeding moms for support. I wish moms knew that pediatricians are wonderful sources for information on children but they lack sufficient knowledge when it comes to breastfeeding- it's just not their area of study. If you can get through this issue with your sweet boy then he and you will still be able to benefit from breastfeeding for many more months or years. If you are still living in Chapel Hill, here is the link to their support group with information on morning and evening meetings: http://www.chapelhilll.org/Home.html If you are in the Greenville area, here is the site for that group: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LLLGreenvilleNC/
C., I feel your pain. My son went to a mommy's morning out 2 mornings starting when he was about 6 1/2 months. Up until then he had been exclusively breatfed. I had trouble pumping (not a problem with my first child) and decided to send one bottle of formula to school should he need it. I was a BIG proponent of breatfeeding and my first child did so until she was 16 months (only once a day from 13 months on) so when I had to get my gall bladder removed I was torn. my son was 10 months at the time. I tried pumping before the surgery, but didn't have much of a supply. I would have to pump and dump due to the meds, but after 24 hours I was told I could resume breast feeding. The problem was he didn't care. he was happy enough with the bottles of formula at 10 months that rather than agonize further about my recovery and trying to pump, I let it go. The stress of it all just wasn't worth it especially since he was happy with the formula. You need to ask your self first how long you would continue breast feeding if this weren't currently an issue and then you need to weigh the options to see if it is worth the agonizing. Formula is financial more of a burden, but in a few months he'll transition to milk anyway. At this point you have certainly given him all of the benefits he could have from breast feeding. Only you know what is best for you and your child. For us, formula at that point was best. Good luck with your decision. I'm not sure if I am of any help, but both my kids are very happy and healthy and I don't think my decision one way or the other effected them or the bond we still have.
p.s. - my daughter just decided one day she didn't want to nurse any more and we were done. it does happen with some kids and at 16 months I don't think it was a strike :)
I am going through the same thing with my 6 month old. It is like he is attacking me while nursing. I am starting to wean him now with bottles of half milk and half formula. He seems to like it okay, and like you said, he lays perfectly still and takes his bottle. Since he doesnt have a problem with the bottle, I am going to go ahead and wean. I hope this helps.
Nine months is a fun...and challenging time. I've nursed 4 kids for a year each, and they all became a little harder to nurse around that age. I also had to supplement with most of my babies. The reason Ethan probably sits still while nursing from a bottle is that he can sit back and look around. When he's nursing, he's facing you and can't see what is going on in the room. It may be best to move to a quiet room when you're nursing to avoid distractions. As far as the biting, try to put that to an end now. My first baby bit me so hard that I pumped "strawberry" milk for 3 days. After that, I learned to sharply say NO or to lightly flick the baby's cheek when he or she would bite down. Both worked. The baby doesn't want to hurt you. He's just teething and will probably learn quickly from your response that you don't appreciate the pain. Enjoy nursing as much as you can. It's over so quickly!
Oh, yes, this sounds familiar! My kids both did this -- the world seems to get so much bigger to them, and they don't want to slow down even to nurse! Part of it may be that he's not quite as hungry (are you giving him solid food? He may not be as hungry for b'milk). Usually, when they're hungry, they'll eat; but he's probably just a curious little baby.
Breast milk is so much better for babies than formula, so if you can continue to breastfeed, do! You even said you're not ready to give up breastfeeding.
It is much easier for babies to get milk out of a bottle than to nurse so that might be why he's struggling a little with breastfeeding. I would go back to breastfeeding exclusively.
Try keeping his nails really short so he can't scratch you (I had to trim my son's nails every 2-3 days)and when he bites say "no no" and stop for a few minutes so he learns that biting is bad.
Maybe you could try some different feeding positions to make him more comfortable. If all else fails, you could pump and give him breast milk from a bottle.
First, make sure that the nipples on the bottles aren't giving him the milk much faster than your breast does. That could make him frustrated with breastfeeding. Also try to notice if something you've eaten might have have a negative effect on him.
Second, (my rule is) if s/he doesn't lay still, s/he neither gets to nurse NOR have a bottle.
Third, your daughter was probably ready to wean. Our first (girl) gave up breast and bottles with no fuss whatsoever on her 1st birthday (and may have weaned earlier had I been interested in her quitting). A week or so later, she was offering another infant his/her bottle with no inclination to stick it in her own mouth. Boys usually quit later than girls (you know, guys ALWAYS have an obsession with breasts! LOL)
I'd also suggest that you never let him 'run around' with a bottle. As long as he'll sit/lay still and drink it, I don't see any hurry to wean, but once they start carrying a bottle around, it's much harder to wean them.
Good luck, and sorry you had such a rough few months there! Life happens (and so does death) -- sometimes seemingly all at once!! (When it rains, it pours.)
God bless!
