I'm looking for advice from other breastfeeding mothers who may have experience with what I'm currently going through. I have a wonderful 18 month old son who still nurses at bedtime and wake-up...and I am currently about 6 weeks pregnant with our 2nd (yay!). This was a planned pregnancy and I am very excited, but I did not expect the reaction my body would have to nursing while pregnant. I have a strong, physical aversion while my son is breastfeeding and it takes all my mental power to try and remain calm and let him nurse. He is not ready to wean and I do not want push him towards weaning. My worry is that this negative feeling will carry over into the nursing relationship I'll have with my second. Will this just pass with some time? Any advice or experience with this is greatly appreciated! The women in my life, friends and family, have not had the experience of nursing while pregnant, so I don't get much information/support from them, just mostly confusion over why I'm still nursing. My husband is very supportive with any decision I make, but with this one, it's hard to explain to him what exactly I'm going through.
I think it might help if you attend a La leche league meeting. Mine meets tonight in St. Paul if you are interested let me know!
Hi R.! Congratulations on your pregnancy! What I want to know is, why do you have to continue? You have clearly done a marvelous job nursing and while I admire you for being so sensitive to your son, I do believe that you can be sensitive to your own feelings as well.
There are many ways that you can continue to bond with your son. I spent hours reading and snuggling with my son after I weaned him. He truly did not seem to miss breastfeeding.
If you want to just continue, that is your choice and obviously know the best option for you. But, please know that you do have the freedom to listen to what YOUR body is telling you.
I nursed my first child all through my second pregnancy and beyond. I too had the aversion, due to too much stimulation. I had the same thoughts you did, but it did not affect my nursing relationship with my second. I persevered through it. Try watching TV to take your mind off of it. I am glad that I pushed through it and let my first one self wean. I weaned my second child about 6 weeks after I was pregnant with my third. He was a little over two and it was very emotional for both of us and I hated that I weaned him. Hang in there.
R.,
I nursed through the first 4-5 months of my second and third pregnancies. I ended up weaning both the boys because I was ready to quit, not because they were. They were each around 17 months. I felt uncomfortable (it was painful) to have them nurse. It was also really draining on me to be pregnant and nursing (especially the last time since I had a one year old and a three year old at the time).
For me, I decided that I wanted a little break from nursing, between children, so I dropped one nursing at at time. They really did well, and actually started sleeping better after we weaned. I thought it would be harder on us both, but we did just fine.
My sister-in-law nursed her first and then tandem nursed after, and did well with that, but I decided it wasn't for me.
You might get some really good advice from mom's who have been there at your local La Leche League. I never really sought them out, but my midwives highly recommended them when I was struggling with the same situation.
Good luck to you!
Jessica
I"m a big supporter of breastfeeding but you may want to explore the idea that your 'repulsion' is natures defense. Your body needs to be funneling all of its resources to the fetus and breastfeeding is probably zapping too much from the new baby. Just a thought... good luck!
I had that happen between my 2nd and 3rd babies as well. It was too draining for me. I was too tired and needed "a break" in between, so I weaned my daughter. She did fine, which I was surprised about. She was about 14 months old at the time and it seemed like no big deal. Good luck with your decision.
I wanted to say too that I had talked to the OB about it and she said that it WILL make you more tired, because it is like nursing two babies (one outside and the one inside). Just an afterthought...
Oh, I know EXACTLY what you are talking about! I became pregnant when my dd was 19 months old and still nursing many times a day. I had that SAME EXACT aversion to nursing, even though I was very dedicated to nursing her until she decided to wean. I also worried a lot about how it would affect the future nursing relationship with the new baby.
I run a breastfeeding support group, so I will share my experience and some of the women on my group as well.
For me, the aversion didn't go away while nursing my oldest dd. Even after I had Ever (my baby), Teagan's (who was about 2.5) nursing still caused that unexplained flight-or-fight response in me. After awhile, I gently encouraged her to wean as it was no longer a happy relationship for us.
When I nursed Ever, however, I felt completely normal and happy. I still do, and we are at nearly 9 months of nursing. I know now that I want to wait until Ever has weaned or is close to weaning before becoming pregnant again.
My friend K. also had the same issues, and her story follows the same way. She is now happily nursing her 2nd child, though nursing her 1st still causes that strong aversion. She continues to nurse her 1st, however, so it can be done :)
All of the other women on my group who have nursed through a pregnancy all report that they felt no feelings of aversion towards nursing their second, and many report feeling good about continuing to nurse their first after the birth (like that aversion just disappears!). I wish it could have been like that for us, but unfortunately it wasn't.
If you would like to join up with my group, here is the address;
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/milk_drunk/
Hope to see you there!!
~B.
Single mama of 2 beautiful daughters
Teagan Elyse~ 3 years
Everleigh Anne~ born unassisted at home in October of 08
Aspiring midwife
contact your local or a nearby la leche league. mine was an hour away from me, but its SO worth it.
this is a great thing what you are doing! tandem nursing is becoming more and more popular! and it is also important for the relationship between your 2 children. as long as your oldest can still nurse, he can still have that connection with you and he wont feel like the new baby is taking over his mama, you know? he will be like, "oh, ok, moms not gonna take this away, im ok!"
he might nurse a lot at first when the new baby is born, but this is all good, so i wanted to first encourage you!
as far as your problem, i really dont know what to tell you, thats why i referred you to the la leche league. i have never heard of this, and i want to make sure you get good information.
good luck.
Hi R., I am still nursing my almost 22 month old and am 11 weeks pregnant and also have to really concentrate when I'm feeding her. If it's really bad, I keep the nursing sessions short and give her a cup of milk when we are done and she seems fine with that. I never really had any end point when it came to nursing her, I feel I have been really lucky to nurse her up until now because in the beginning I took it one feeding at a time. It was tough. But I do have alot of soreness in my nipples while feeding and have decided to wean around age 2. That way my breasts will have a few months to rest before I start all over again. I have just recently spoken with a lactation consultant from my hospital and she helped me with alot of questions that I had. Maybe you could try that. Good luck and Congratulations!
