Breastfeeding and Homones

Hang in there. This is a very stressful time trying to balance both children and recover. I had a c-section with my third about a year ago and the first six weeks were really tough. It does get easier though.
As far as the breastfeeding goes, I would call the hospital and see if you can talk to one of the lactation consultants. Hospitals offer really great support for new moms just out of the hospital. Just keep trying. It takes the little buggers a little while to catch on.
Good luck and keep reaching out for help.

Hi P.! You are a perfect canidate for the Baby Cafe! It is a fabulous breastfeeding support group run by the amazing lactation
consultants from Melrose Wakefield hospital!

Here is a link that explains more about it...
http://www.hallmarkhealth.org/babycafe.php

Hope to see you there. I am on child #2 with them!
T.

Hang in there it will get better. I breast fed both my kids for a yr each. At first it was difficult. My first child was not a good feeder at first, but we went to a lactation specialist and she was feeding great in no time. As for the pain, they have many things to help...nipple shields (to use while feeding), Lanisol (ointment), and soothies (jelly like pads that you keep in the fridge and you use them when you are not feeding). hang in there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello P.,
I had a baby about 3 1/2 weeks ago and faced some of the same stresses you had. My son latched on right away, however after a few days of feeding my breasts were very very sore. I even developed blisters on my nipples and it hurt so much that I wanted to cry every time I fed him. My pediatrician and midwife team suggested seeing a lactation consultant, which luckily my local hospital has. I set up an appointment with her and she was able to provide me with some great tips on feeding. In a nutshell I learned that although he was latching on, he was not latching on properly. That is key to reduce nipple/breast soreness. For a quick resource you can also visit www.breastfeeding.com which has video clips on how to latch properly.

To help sore nipples I suggest using Lansinoh's Lanolin ointment to help heal sore nipples. My pediatrician also suggested nipple sheilds which helps reduce the pressure on the nipples. The only caution I heard in regards to these is that babies may get used to having the nipple sheild on, so when not using them you can face struggles from them. However, I heard they were great if your nipples are really sore.

I know that it is really hard, but if you can get some support and get through the first bump after the first week or so it does get better. I noticed after a week that not only did it get easier for me, but it got easier for my baby as well. You have to remember they are learning how to do this as well. If you can stick it out, it is worth it. Hope this info helps and best of luck!

Your hormones will even out. Just keep going with breatfeeding. It will be so worth it.

Hi, P.,

I had a very similar experience just 5 weeks ago! My little one was biting at my nipples and had a really hard start to breast feeding. I got so confused by all the different advice by the nurses and lactation consultants at the hospital. I ended up cracked and bleeding and very stressed out! However, it turned out that once my milk came in, things got better. And honestly, the soreness gradually went away on it's own and I am happy to report she is a breastfeeding champ now. When I was engorged I would warm compress and express a little milk prior to feeding and cool compress afterwards. I'd also be completely topless while breastfeeding to let things "air out" which while my husband gave me a hard time, felt good. Hope that helps? :)B.

Don't give up! If only they told you that breastfeeding was harder than birth. I had two cracked nipples from blisters that never healed. I ended up with an infection. My daughter had a bad latch. It was painful and I didn't know what to do. After about 3 1/2 weeks of crying and feeling like I might have to give up...I called Sally McFaden, lactation consultant. Be patient. Pamper yourself. Take hots showers, use hot water bottles, express a little if you need to, and seek help!

I didn't have the pain with breast feeding but I had the "blues" really bad. I would cry a million times a day over anything- even over the fact at how beautiful she was. My daughter was born 6 pounds 3 ounces and when she came home she was more like 5 pounds. My advice is to not stress out over the feeding- and try to keep breast feeding. She will catch up. Let your doctor know what's going on and they can advise you on whether or not to give a bottle. Bottom line is that both you and her are going to be okay and things will get better. Just enjoy having her.

Congrats on the new little girl!! Breastfeeding is a very hard thing to tackle but with the right support and help you can do it! :) I lucked out-my son took right too it no questons. If I were you I would contact a lactation specialist maybe she can help you-I know there were a couple at the hospital I gave birth at-Wentworth Douglass in Dover. My sons doctor also has one on hand-Dover Peds- and if neither of those help I would contact LaLeche League http://www.lllusa.org/MENH/MaineNH.html
I do know its really normal for it to hurt for the first few weeks but it def gets better as your nipples toughen up also try to relax when you feed her it should be a enjoyable experience for both of you! If you are stressed and tense she will def feel that and might get uncomfortable! I think what you are going through is completely normal-just take your time and relax and if that doesnt work I would contact the specialist-they really are a great help! :)

I've been in your shoes and know exactly what you are going through. If you really want to breastfeed, it will get better - I promise. It takes a few weeks for it to stop hurting completely. Hang in there.

Also, if you do need to quit, don't let anyone make you feel guilty. You need to do what's right for you.

Hi,
I had a lot of trouble with my daughter breastfeeding because of soreness and her difficulties with nursing(some physical irregularity with her tongue- which I learned about two years later). I am sorry it is so awful for you. I KNOW. I stuck with it and am glad I did, because I am sure her consistent health was in part due to my choice. But I suffered. I was reluctant to travel to a lactation consultant (I guess they don't do housecalls), or pay for it, and didn't get involved with La leche League til much later. I suggest you get in touch with a breastfeeding group and lactation consultant asap. Also, check with the hospital and see if they have someone. Maybe even a doula. Do you have any friends or husband who could help you with researching some help? They can't do what you are doing for your daughter, but they could certainly help with this part. Don't try to do it alone.
PS Dont let your perceived judges torture you about your choice. My path was so difficult, I would not condemn you for switching to a bottle. Just remember, it is early in the game and it is all uphill from here! Now I am all teary!

Good Luck
Vicki L

P. don't give up! I also breastfed my now 18 mo old. It was worth it; He has rarely been sick, less gassy an no ear infections to date. There are so many benefits to breastfeeding! Your little 'peanut' will benefit so much from it. It will get better I promise you. The soreness and the hormone changes are normal. Give it about two weeks and the soreness will improve. Your nipples won't stay sore. Make sure she is latching on properly. Get some help with it if you need to.

I'm so glad I didn't give up with my son even though I wanted to stop breastfeeding so many times. Read the benefits of breastmilk (try Dr. Sears book) so you will be motivated to continue.

good luck...it will get better, i promise!

Don't give up on the breastfeeding. What you are going through is very normal. It is tough - believe me I know. I went through it after a c-section with my first. It may last a bit but it won't last forever. The breastfeeding is actually helping to regulate your hormones so if you try a bottle, the hormones won't get better. Breastfeeding will get easier and once you get it, it is so much easier than bottle feeding - you don't have to worry about warming up bottles, packing them etc. It is tiring right now but it does get easier...just keep trying. You should contact your local La Leche League if you need help with breastfeeding.

Hey P.,
Keep your chin up! Is there a friend or family member who could come over during your baby-moon? Someone who could come and help with caring for your son and allowing you time to be in bed with your baby to perfect the breastfeeding? Is there a LaLeche League leader or Lactation consultant who could come over and be sure your latch is good? Breastfeeding is rewarding and important for both of you, so don't give up. Soreness is common- try cold packs or cabbage leaves for engorgement relief. Lanolin for sore nipples, or a nipple butter/balm from Earth mama Angel Baby that doesn't need washing off. Breastfeeding at night is easy peasy if you can nurse lying down and co-sleep. Then you fall asleep together, and your sleeping rhythms compliment eachother- you'll wake up when she does, even before she cries. Another thought is to try a sling (not a Bjorn style carrier, but a soft sling you can nurse in), and wear her while you do your other routines during the day. This may give you a feeling of more control over your day, and free up your hands for your toddler. I hope this helps, and keep up the great work!

EVERYONE goes through this, especially when nursing for the first time. Its completely normal to be sore. Your nipples will get raw and chapped, if you dont have some already, be sure to buy Lansinoh brand lanolin, it's in the baby section. You can apply it as often as needed and its the only thing ok to be on there when the baby nurses. Make sure you dont get soap on them when you shower, it will dry them out more. Wear supportive bras (I hated nursing bras, lived in sports bras!)even at night, and make sure you have a good HAND pump, medela had a great one, it even has a let down button. Good luck, and let me know if you need anything more.

Don't give up. Check and make sure she is latching correctly sometimes that will relieve the pain. Your hormones and tenderness will even out soon. Stick with it and make sure you are getting some help with everything else in the household so that you can relax and focus on you and your baby.

Look up kangaroo care. Premies thrive and gain well when carried in a sling and have lots of skin contact and access to the breast.

J.
Mom to Allie, Chloe and Olivia

Don't give up!! Hang in there, you'll make it over this hurdle and look at your beautiful daughter once she gets used to latching on and she'll THRIVE on your breast milk!!
These days are sooooo tough, but they go by in a blink of an eye. Call the hospital where you gave birth and ask for the lactation specialist and maybe she can help you.
Remember, just put your whole nipple in her mouth, it shouldn't hurt at all. Don't let her just bite the tip!

Don't stress, just breath slowly when you start to nurse, when you stress your milk won't let down as easily.

Relax, enjoy, learn together the wonderful art of breastfeeding. It truly does have to be learned, but I think the rewards far outweigh the first weeks of the challenge!!
Good luck and god bless. (and of course
CONGRATULATIONS!!!)

P.,
Don't give up! After I gave birth I was also a hormonal mess- crying all the time, physically exhausted,aching body, burning sore nipples,etc. I felt like such a contradiction because like you when I looked at my baby I would fill up with such happiness but a second later I would feel so overwhelmed and sad. My daughter, also a peanut weighing 6lbs 4ounces at birth dropped to under 6 lbs when we left the hospital. She is now 8 months, still nursing and thriving.
As hard as it is, I encourage you to stick with it. You can do it! Get lots of support from friends/family or La Leche league.
Good Luck,
J.

P.,

Hang in there if you can. I felt the exact same way when I brought my baby home after a c-section last May. When my milk came in, I was completely engorged and miserable. My baby girl was also a voracious, aggressive eater with a latching problem and she turned my nipples into pulp. The delivery nurses and lactation consultants said she was a pirranah. (Their exact words.) I had a prescription for it it was so awful. If you need to, ask your doc or nurse midwife for something called "tripple nipple" an antibiotic numbing salve that doesn't bother nursing baby. I used it for cracked & bleeding nipples for about 6 weeks. It hurt like hell, but around nine weeks, it stopped. Now, nursing is the most wonderful thing. In the beginning when it hurt so bad I couldn't stand to nurse, I pumped instead. If you can, use a good, dual, hospital grade pump and don't be discouraged if you don't get much at first. It took me a good deal of practice but it hurt much less than nursing sometimes. Also, pump first thing in the morning because production is higher then than later in the day. One thing that helped me was that I never bought formula or kept it in the house, so if she needed to eat, I HAD to feed her because there was nothing else there to give her. It kept me from giving in to temptation & made me stick with it. To relieve your soreness you can try warm compresses, cold cabbage leaves or look at your grocery store in the baby products section for these little plastic gel packs that you can freeze or heat to give you relief. Also, call La Leche League, go to their website or find a lacatation consultant. They'll work with you until the latch is correct and it'll get better. People kept telling me that if the latch was correct, it wouldn't hurt, but that was NOT TRUE! It hurt, even with a good latch. I cried and was hormonal, but I waited it out and it got better. There's nothing in the world that I love more than feeding my little baby girl now. It's healthy and rewarding and the benefits for both of you are tremendous. It will shrink your uterus, increase your levels of oxytocin, which will make you feel better when your hormones stabilize, and give her a good immune system and create a special bond too. Don't beat yourself up if you have to supplement with formula either though. Some breastmilk is better than none. I always had that as an option or a last resort if my resolve broke, but I hung in there anyway. I remember the hormonal phase lasting a week or two. I wasn't depressed per se, just completely overcome by love for my little person and weepy. I think the nursing helped with that too.

Good luck to you & congrats on your baby.

R. J.

Congratulations!! First let me say that whatever you choose will be right for you and your daughter so don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Breastfeeding is so hard sometimes. I am a mother of two boys 4 1/2 year old and 10 month old both of whom I nursed (still am nursing my 10 month old). I had terrible pain nursing with both of them and wanted to quit so many times. I am incredibly stubborn sometimes and made up my mind that I was going to do this and pushed on. I consulted a lactation specialist with my last son and they helped me tremendously. They came to my house and gave me precise instructions how to be more comfortable, it was expensive but insurance picked up half of the visit. It was worth every penny. With my first son we were passing back a yeast infection to each other, it was appearing as thrush in his mouth and then my nipples were so sore I cried every feeding but with medication it helped us both. Good luck, i don't know if this helped at all but know that you are not alone and it will get easier. You have the extra pain of having a c-section which I was lucky enough to avoid.
Take it easy, you are doing great.
V.

HI P.,

I went through a lot of this with my son. He was also born by C-section. He lost so much weight he had to have bottles before we even left the hospital. My solution was to breast feed what I could, pump milk, and then supplement with formula for three months. I then gave up and went to formula only. I felt it was good to give as much breast milk as I could...but this isn't the solution for all. It was hard work, and the worst thing you can do is beat yourself up about it (I did and it wasn't worth it). The most important thing is to feed your baby by what ever means works - and to make sure you get some rest.

Today my son is a happy healthy 20 month old (who still loves his milk).

Good luck to you.
K.

I just had my first child in september, and i've been told he is just like his father, in the sense that his father didn't take the breast for nearly a week and a half. he lost 2 pounds while figureing out what to do with the nipple. I had a pump since i planned to go back to work full time, and after getting a very bad breast infection that left me with a fever night sweats and a sense of being delirous for a day or two, started pumping to keep myself from drying up or getting another infection. I ended up bottlefeeding him breastmilk for four months. If you can keep pressureing the breast until it clicks do so, but i didn't have the heart to deny my son the benefits of breastmilk, nor the patience to wait for him to stop refusing the breast altogether. Its hard work pumping, but at least you know your baby is getting the best you have to offer even when she is refusing the source. the little man is now activly going through sweet potatoes carrots and applesauce like its going out of style :)

Starting off with a new baby can be so hard, even if it isn't your first! It has been almost a week since your posting. I hope you have gotten some help over the past week. It sounds like you really want to breastfeed so I strongly suggest calling a lactation consultant and/or a La Leche League leader for help with the breastfeeding. Check out http://massbfc.org/zipmilk/ for a directory. Good luck. Things will get better!

You are very brave, and you have been through so much with birth and c-section. And you are a good mother, because you have your daughter's welfare first in your mind, despite what you are going through. I really feel for you, and remember so vividly what it was like with my own child. I called her string bean because she was so skinny! Breastfeeding was a lot harder than I thought it would be, and I worried - so did the doctor - about the fact that she was skinny. She was also very hungry and nursed frequently. I was lucky, my husband would bring her to me in the night and she would nurse while I dozed off, which helped me get more sleep; then he would put her back in her crib or she would sleep with us. Now I look at her and I am so glad that I kept at it, through all the difficulty and doubts. She is the healthiest kid you could imagine, still very slim, with a big appetite! I think it was one of the best - and hardest - decisions I ever made. I wish you luck, and I think you are a great mother, doing a wonderful job. You have all the right instincts; you just need to make sure that you have plenty of support from people around you (healthy/happy mom = healthy/happy baby). La Leche was a wonderful resource for me, they helped me so much when I felt like I couldn't go on.

Oh how I feel your pain!! I had a very hard experience with breast feeding. It was SO stressful for probably the first 3 weeks. First there was the incredible soreness and pain (soothies gel pads help, can get them at the drug store), then I got engorged and I was in pain plus my baby couldn't eat cause her mouth was so small (I got a pump to help with this). It is SO HARD to go through this part!! I felt incredibly tired and hormonal and frustrated and felt like crying when looking at my baby too. I actually kept with the breast feeding and it eventually came in line and became something that I really enjoy and treasure with my baby. We went through 2-3 weeks of hell but it DID get better and better and now it's great. However, there are no two people the same and I have known folks who go to bottle and feel better about it. My advice is to call in all the supports you've got to help. I used a lactation consultant and that helped A LOT. I also had my family come in to make me meals and walk the baby so I could sleep and recover. When I felt strong enough I went on outings (I took my baby to Northampton with my husband when she was two weeks!). It's important to remember that you've just been through a traumatic event (even though it's a happy one) and so you deserve a little crying and a little caring for yourself. It's also important to remember that both you and your baby are LEARNING how to breastfeed. Especially since she's small (and probably has a small mouth) it's a process for both of you. She'll be fine and will get the hang of it. As long as your doctor isn't telling you there's a problem you don't have to worry. Also, if you have a pump you can try pumping some milk and putting it into a medicine dropper to get more into your baby's tummy while you're learning.

I too just gave birth this Saturday myself. I know exactly how you feel. Unlike you I don't have any other children but am really excited to join the best mom club. Actually, I think we all should be a member after giving birth.

About my daughter, she is a peanut too, leaving the hospital @ 6.4 lbs. and in need of weight gain. Because of my Gestational Diabetes she required several blood test over her first two days of life. What a bummer this was for me. Luckily my recovery was great and my blues are minimal.

However, now I am home breastfeeding and wondering if she is getting bigger. Just last night, I gave her a pacifier between feeding attempts which seemed to help her and me. The hiccups stopped and her screaching had stopped too.

I know how you feel about being overwhelmed, but with all of your love and desire to succed as a parent for the second time YOU GO GIRLFRIEND! Let out those tears and talk to her directly about you feelings and get them off you chest.For an FYI my MD said if she is peeing and pooping, (right now, the texture for her is seedy) she is okay. You made a choice to breastfeed prior to all of the hormonal changes your body made uncontrolably when you mind was straight out "normal". So in my laywoman's opinion, give it a few weeks and everything will fall into place.
Good Luck to the new MOMMIE once again.

Congrats! and do try to keep it up! it has only been a week and you have been thru it all. There is shock involce din haivng an unexpected c-section (if that is what happened?) My son was 6 weeks early and a c-section. I was a mess!

Get a pump so you can have milk on hand and if she is loosing weight top her off with a bottle of breastmilk.

She needs a little extra help being 6lbs and all, Nick was an ounce under 5lbs.

Try not to make big desicions at this point and just try and keep it up, call or email La Leche League
http://www.llli.org/

Hang in there..no one can really know what it is like after you have the baby..get support..get some sleep..a shower..some food ;-)

Breastfeeding gets SO MUCH easier after a couple weeks - it is a huge adjustment for both you and your baby and it takes time for the two of you to get in sync. I remember how incredibly overwhelmed I was too and how I wanted to give up too. I go to another website: www.justmommies.com and there is a board on there for breastfeeding where I found tremendous support which was crucial for at the time.

It is perfectly normal to struggle in the beginning and breastfeeding (aside from being so much healthier) is MUCH easier too in the long run. Being able to just roll over and offer my breast saved me many a sleepless night (can't imagine having to keep getting up and making bottles). Plus, it is easy to nurse when you are out and about too (no need to run home and make a bottle).

You have to do whatever you feel is best but I say trust your instincts. Just remember this is very normal and that you will make it through it. (((hugs)))

Congrats on the new baby and taking on the challenge of breatfeeding!! I say challenge because I remember in those first weeks it was a lot of work and a test of my emotions. Our hospital called to follow up on how I was doing after the birth of my first and I remember breaking down crying over the breastfeeding issues/lack of sleep. The best thing they did was get me together with their lactation consultant or you could contact the La Leche League in your area. Both could help make sure she is latching on right and give you a lot of encouragement. After the help I received I went on to brestfeed both of my girls successfully for over 6 months.
As for soreness the best things ever were Soothies gel pads sold at the drug store in the baby section. They are a bit expensive around $12 but are reusable for maybe 2 days and you can cut them in half to make them last longer.They helped heel the skin and prevent more issues but the best part was putting them on straight out of the fridge...sounds strange but it worked!
Most of all hang in there and give it time. You haven't been home for very long and everything is so new for both of you. Good luck...

When my son was born I too was struggling with painful nursing (it curled my toes during latch on!) and considered just giving up to the bottle; it seemed so much easier. I was recovering from a c-section as well and was exhausted. I got some ointment for the soreness and just kept telling myself that nursing was the best thing I could do for my little one. The pain and discomfort subsided once we got a balance of supply and demand and I was happy to have kept at it. Hope this helps.

P.,

Having a baby can be so overwhelming! And you have so much that you are dealing with right now -- exhaustion, hormones, a beautiful little girl! If you want to breast feed, just keep at it. For a lot of women the soreness/pain goes away as they breastfeed. For others it doesn't -- but give it a try if you want to! Also don't feel like you can't try and give her a bottle as well. I know there are some babies who can't/won't switch between the breast and bottle -- but there are a great deal of babies who will!!

I have a 20 month old daughter. I had her by c-section and I breast fed. She also got a bottle -- when I wasn't home and every once in a while when I just needed to sleep. She took either the breast or bottle with no problem. Both of my nephews were the same way.

You have to do what is best for you and your baby. Have you considered calling the La Leche League? They can be wonderful. I went to a few support groups and called a member a few times for help and they were great.

Things WILL get easier! I promise! Hang in there and enjoy your little blessing.

P.,
First of all, congrats! My daughter is 11 months old today and never latched on. If you haven't had a lactation consultant consultation, I would start there. Start with the hospital where you delivered and if they can't help, ask your pediatrician for a recommendation. Most insurance plans cover it. Like I said, my daughter never latched on and I very much wanted to breast feed. After many tear on both sides, I eventually gave up and started pumping for her and feeding her via the bottle. I'm still doing it to this day. I felt like it was the best way to give her the start that I wanted. If you do decide to go this way, get an electric pump. It's much more comfortable and efficient. If you have a prescription from your MD and a note from the lactation consultant as to what the problem is, most insurance plans will cover an electric pump under your DME (durable medical equipment) benefit. Whatever you decide to do, it will be what's best for you and your new baby. Congrats again and good luck!

S.

Hi P., My name is M. L and i had four baby's and nursed all of them so i know what your talking about. I remember when my nipples were so sore they would crack and i would go right though the ceiling when the baby stared sucking, but beleive me when i say it does get beter.They will toughen up it might take a little bit but they will. The doctor might be able to tell you what to do to help. Don't give up it's the best thing for your new baby.
Good Luck

Definitely keep up breastfeeding. It's worth the time in the beginning. But, get some help from a certified lactation consultant. www.ilca.org and la leche league have great resources. Also, see www.ameda.com for a short video on how to latch.

Hi. I felt the same way when I first got home. It can be really painful, especially on top of healing from the c-section and being exhausted. I was desperate and cried every time I nursed. I finally called a lactation consultant. She helped me with my latch and suggested I get some APNO (you need a prescription and they can make it up for you at Hopkinton Drugs) cream, which really helped. And soon after taht all my nursing problems went away. Now it's 14 months later and I can't seem to wean my daughter!

Hi P.,
Congrats on your new little one!
I too had a c-section and it can be a VERY tough recovery so I understand 100% how it feels to deal with that, as well as getting used to breastfeeding :-). Many people think it's a natural thing that should just happen, but the truth is, it's hard work!
It can be very tempting to give in to the bottle, but it does get better--this I promise you! It sounds like you are going through the difficult part of breastfeeding (the beginning!). If you can stick through the tough part, breastfeeding can be VERY enjoyable. I often wake my napping baby up just to eat because I enjoy it so much (no joke!)
Here are my suggestions to make the experience better for you:
1.Get yourself set up. In each room where you may be feeding, have
* a comfortable chair, pillow, blanket
* Lansinoh nipple cream - it works wonders!
* nipple pads (disposible or washable)
* a big huge glass of water
* burp cloths
2.It also helps to have soothing light and music
3. for your nipples, breastmilk itself can be very healing, so rub a bit of it on your nipples. Always let them airdry after a feeding.
4. check out kellymom.com. The forums there are so helpful!

I hope this helps? I know how hard it can be, but I encourage you to continue breastfeeding. It's the best thing you can do for your baby!
Please do not hesitate ask questions if you need to. you can have my private email if you would like to discuss offline. I live in Taunton, MA.

Good Luck!
Sandi

P., keep it up! When I had my first baby, i was determined to breastfeed and it took us about a month to get it going. Every couple hours I would pump and my husband would feed our baby with the bottle with breastmilk in it. I also tried breastfeeding her before almost all feedings. We had help from a lactation consultant and even though she was a bit odd, she was very helpful and got us a rental breast pump that we couldn't have done it without it! I know it feels impossible - even with my second it took quite a while to get it going smoothly. Yes, it hurts a lot, but that will get better too. I used Lansinoh (I'm not sure that's how it's spelled) and wore disposable thick, cushy breast pads and that helped too. You don't have to take the stuff off before feeding, either, and that's one less thing to worry about. I had a lot of support, from my family, friends, the lactation consultant, and most of all, my hubby. It wouldn't have worked without his dedication to the whole process. I wish you the best of luck and encourage you to get help from a lactation consultant and either rent or invest in a QUALITY breastpump - electric, and one that does both sides at the same time! Hang in there!:)

Hi P.:
The tenderness and swelling in the breast is only temporary as your milk is coming in. What helped me was pumping between my feedings. This will help with your discomfort and stress and if you freeze the milk it will be great for the future. My son had extreme difficulties latching on, he would cry and kick his feet, my aunt who is a nurse suggested having me feed him a little at a time, take all his clothes off, and place him across my stomach. A would wrap a blanket around him and rub the side of his face. After a couple of weeks being home he started getting better and with him positioning him the same way all the time it helped. I found it very difficult in the beginning as well. Don't give up on breastfeeding it is so rewarding for you and the baby.

I am certainly no expert except for having nursed my son for 18 months (he's 2.5 now) and currently nursing my 6 week old twin daughters. My nipples were killing me before my milk came in but once it did they felt so much better (they didn't have to suck so hard since milk is thinner than colostrum). Could this be the case for you? Or is she latching on properly? Maybe you could attend a La Leche League meeting - they can be a great help for stuff like this. I TOTALLY get the hormone, stressed-out thing. I am dealing with it, too! I think every new baby has his/her issues and whatever that might be becomes the source of stress for us poor moms. Hang in there - you know it will get better (I'm sure you remember this from your son). I am still a mess hormonally but it IS getting better. You should keep breastfeeding if it's what you want to do - it is better for babies, but know that if you need to switch to bottlefeedng, it will all still be fine and good. Take the pressure off yourself. Best of luck.

Congratulations on your baby girl. I had a C-section and was in a lot of post surgery pain for a couple of weeks AND breasfeeding for the frst time, causing a lot of nipple pain. I know how hard it is... and I didn't have a 3 year old to tend to!!! It took two weeks for my son and me to ge tthe hang of the breastfeeding thing and for the pain to subside, but I'm SOO glad I hung in there. As was already suggested, you could always pump your milk so she'll still be getting breastmilk, but, I bet if you just give it some more time, you'll both get the hang of it.
GOODLUCK!

Hi P.,

Your message struck a chord with me, since I had a fairly good bout of postpartum depression after my first child was born (less with my second, thankfully!), and really understand the power that hormones can have. I should say right away that I am definitely pro-breastfeeding, but I also believe full heartedly that you should take care of yourself as well as you can! I know breastfeeding has hormones associated with it, but my understanding that is that these are the prolactin hormones that are associated with loving, maternal emotions. I don't know if weaning your baby and switching to a bottle would necessarily reduce your hormonal mess. I struggled with breastfeeding both my kids--my first never seemed to latch correctly and with my second, my nipples hurt for about 3 weeks before they settled down and I had plugged milk ducts once every month for the first 4 months. But with each, it eventually got better. Do you have a good support network of friends/family/La Leache league folks who support your breastfeeding? I found that to be incredibly helpful to me. As well as just remembering to take time for yourself. If you're at home full-time with your kids, do you know any other mothers who you can get together with regularly? You can also join a La Leche group and meet other mothers in your area that way. I know that I found doing all these things VERY hard when I was experiencing postpartum depression--I just didn't really have the will to get out there. But I also found that whenever I did force myself, I felt a lot better afterwards. My son was also 3 when my daughter was born (they're now 7 and 4). A mantra I tried to continuously repeat to myself: this too shall pass, remembering that even though things felt so hard at the moment, they would get better. And they do. I wish you the best of luck!

Hi P.,
I went through the same thing after having my son 15 mos. ago. I decided to keep up the breastfeeding for 11 weeks until I realized that I was spending the majority of my time trying to feed my son or worrying about feeding him so I stopped. He was just as healthy on formula as he was with breastfeeding. Stopping gave us more time for other activities. I had a lot more energy so I was more positive and less emotionally labile.
Also, my OB explained to me that the research on benefits of breastfeeding vs. formula show only small additional health benefits for infants who are breastfed vs. those who are formula fed.
Do whatever you feel is best for you and your daughter's overall well being. Take care.

No question about it, those first few days home from the hospital are tough! Don't give up on the breastfeeding! I know there's just so much to worry about and you just want to cry all the time -- it's less than 8 months that I was there too. It's a blessing that your milk came in -- mine took 8 days, and my son lost weight for 3 weeks! The main thing that got me through it was the support of friends and family. Do you have friends or family who have nursed their children? Reach out to them and tell them what you need, whether it's a listening ear, someone to come over and clean up the house or make a meal. One of my friends kept telling me how proud she was of me for not giving up on the breastfeeding, even when we ended up having to supplement with formula. I also remember how much I felt like a failure when I couldn't give my son all that he needed, but remember that you're not a failure, no matter what happens! No one tells you this before giving birth, but breastfeeding isn't easy for everyone. I guess they don't want to discourage you, but it took a lot of willpower and support for me to get through those first few weeks of it. One suggestion: did the hospital you gave birth in offer a lactation consultant to help? I know you said your daughter isn't the best feeder, so maybe one could help you? Also, I learned from my pediatrician when we had trouble that most insurance companies will pay for at least 2-3 visits by a visiting nurse after you give birth. I had two nurses from the VNA in New Britain who came several times, both were trained as lactation consultants, and they were great -- very encouraging and full of advice. (Also, covered 100% by insurance, whereas a visit with a private lactation consultant was $75/hour!) Check with your pediatrician about this if you can. If your pedi doesn't know about this, you could try calling VNA directly -- ###-###-####. Keep it up! I know it's hard, but you can do this!

Don't give up! It will get better and you will be happy that you kept the breastfeeding going. I have a 1 year old and a three year old and felt the same way with both, but I stuck with the nursing and everything worked out. Good luck and keep going! -SS

PLEASE don't give up! I'm not sure what you did with your son - did you breastfeed? I can only imagine you're feeling down and hormonal but keep thinking it will get better. I got in touch with La leche league - they were sooooo helpful. Your daughter will get the hang of it soon enough so just look at her when things get tough but don't beat yourself up about it either. Read lots of positive info - this will also make you feel it's all worth it!

I am a mother of 3, just weined my 2 1/2 year old yesterday (whole new subject!) I remember my first, nursing was so painful I would litteraly scream out FU#@, but I kept going and by week 3 there was no pain at all and I was a pro, I know that seems like a long time but I always say to myself "this to shall pass" and it does. My nipples were so sore and cracked and even bloody, the nurse came in to check on them regularly, they gave me cream, I forgot its name, I think lanolin something for breast feedding, you just rub a ton on and it really helps. Your daughter can nurse right over it. Also the nurse told me afte nursing to leave my shirt open if possible to let them air dry. I nursed him for 2 years, had my 2nd and thought It was going to be a breeze but same thing and yet again when I had my 3rd. They say it is the baby trying to figure it out not anything you are doing wrong. Check with a lactation nurse, put don't give up "this to shall pass"!
Good luck and congratulations.
G.

Yes, Iv'e had the pain and hormones. I only nursed my 2 year old for 4 months and regreted it. I have been nursing my 4 month old for 4 months and am shooting for another 4 at least. Please consider the medela nipple shield for nursing. It helps a lot with pain and there is one for difficulty latching. It is at babies R us, but call 1st. Also I reccomend the breast pump. Pump and freeze it or refridgerate it. The pain will go away and the hormones usually calm down by 4 months. I did supplement with formula initally and gave breast milk with a bottle. She only gets a bottle about 12 times a week and hasn't had a problem. I have been able to nurse without the shield for 2 or more months.
Most importantly, take care of yourself emotionally and physically so that you can enjoy you baby and be healthy. Good Luck!!!!

You can talk to your ob about a lactation consultant. Deb D

P.-
stick with the breastfeeding! it has soooo many advantages to your baby and you. you will get throught this. have you had any lactation help? see if you can get a lactation consultant or a post natal doula to come and help you, even just one time may help. where do you live?
i am a lactation counselor, so i can maybe offer you a bit of advice...are you making sure she is opening as wide as she can? make sure she is getting more than just your nipple in her mouth. also, make sure you are breaking her seal w/ your finger before pulling her off. lansinoh works great for your nipples, and is safe for breastfeeding. any warm compresses may help your breasts too.
make sure you are taking whatever you have for pain meds, take a deep breath, enjoy your baby! you can do it!
L.

Congratulations on your new bundle! :)
You can still give her breastmilk. If shes having a hard time (or you as well) you can always pump. If you get an overabundance it can be frozen for up to 6 months i think. Good luck & enjoy your new baby!

Hi P.,

Congrats on your newest addition. I can definitely relate to what you are saying. My second was born the end of October and I went through something similar to what you are experiencing. I nursed my son until he was a year and had no problems at all. When my daughter was born though, there was a lot more pain in nursing for the first 2-3 weeks and then it seemed to go away. Did you nurse your son? If so it could be your body is producing way more milk than your daughter needs at this point so you are constantly engorged. As for the nipples being sore, if you haven't already, buy some medela purlan. It will help with any cracks that you may be experiencing. Try the nursing for a few weeks at least. The first month of nursing is the worst. As for the hormones making you emotional - that's normal. Don't hold your emotions in and take anyone offering to help up. I know how it is to have a very active toddler and a newborn - it can be extremely stressful and draining. Good luck and hang in there. Once your family is able to establish a new routine, the stress levels will drop and though you may still be emotional on and off, it hopefully won't be as bad.

Soooo hard! Do what you can. Only you know what you can handle. Everyone who's ever breastfed has gone through this. I cried for months. It gets better for sure!
Good luck.

Hi P.- I know how you feel! I have a two year old who I breastfed for a year. At the beginning, it hurt like hell. So bad that I cringed when I was about to feed her; but a friend of mine said that feeling would go away. A few weeks later it did and breastfeeding became very easy and totally painfree. I also pumped and froze the milk. At about 3 weeks we gave her a bottle of milk and she did great. This allowed my husband to feed her and give me a break!
Good luck!

I know I have felt this way! With my first I had a very hard time breast feeding and at one point I looked at my husband and started sobbing uncontrollably. It did get better fairly quickly. I found with all of my kids (4) the first two weeks were the worst. My best friend was always Lanisol cream it is amazing and really helps with the healing and cracking if you use it before and after every feeding. I always tried to give my kids one bottle a night before bed time and this gave me a little break. It also gave my husband a chance to feed the baby. As for bottle versus breast feeding when it comes down to it do what you need to do to keep sane and remember there are no wrong decisions if it means you are a little more sane and you have a healthy thriving baby.

Hey P.,
I also experienced soreness as well as the other symptoms you talk about. I had a daughter who was almost 21 months when I had my second and knew that breast feeding was healthy for my son. However, I also had big babies and wanted my husband to help out. In my humble opinion, there is nothing wrong with giving one bottle of formula a day. Not only did this help my husband bond with our babies, but it gave me a break. One bottle at around 11 or whatever your child's evening feeding is, will not make your milk production stop...your body adjusts. Not only that, but if you decide you are finished before your baby is ready for a cup, she'll be familiar with formula and a bottle. Stressing out about breastfeeding has absolutely nothing to do with the love you have for your baby, but it certainly affects how your day evolves. There really IS a happy medium and there aren't any hard and fast rules about it...no right and wrong. I take that back, there is a right and wrong for YOU...and you count! If giving a bottle of formula helps your baby feel more full (and size doesn't have anything to do with how hungry your baby is), then she'll be ultimately happier. If you are feeling less stressed, then you and your 3 year old will have better days. Plus, Daddy gets to be involved in the feeding. For us, it was win, win, win!
K.

Hi and good luck to you!
I would try to continue with the breastfeeding - it's harder in the short run but easier in the long run - no bottles to sterilize, no formula to mix, worrying about forgetting extra nipples and formula when you go out etc. Plus there really is nothing healthier you can do for your baby - and I think that some of the sleepless nights now are returned to you tenfold when the baby is older and not sick as much! Good luck whatever you decide - it gets easier, I promise.

P., you need to do what is best for you and your family. Do NOT let anyone bully you or talk you into doing something that is stressing you out or making you feel guilty.. (and stress does play a part in the let down process).. whether you bf or bottle feed is a totally personal decision - do not let the doctors, nurses or other mothers influence you. I have two kids - I was set on bf .. I gave up after week because of how sore I was and miserable I was.. once I bottle fed, life got so much better for everyone involved. The guilt on the other hand was awful.. I felt like I was doing something wrong and my child would be harmed for life.. My daughter has the immune system that just doesn't quit. She's had 1 ear infection - didn't even need treating! She's incredibly healthy and well adjusted. My son, I gave up faster because I didn't produce enough - but I didn't let the guilt get to me this time. I was ready for it.. But it was a decision on both parts to make life easier for everyone.. My niece who was bf, has been sick with colds most of her life.. so that shouldn't be a factor in your choice.. It's what is best for you and your baby. because that's all who counts here.. So bottom line, all the research on if bf is best, really depends on who is doing the talking.. Do what is good for you and your child and do not let anyone tell you anything else. You can always pump and bottle feed too if you really want to stay with it.. good luck and try Lansinoh cream and see if that helps the soreness.

hi,
I went through the same experience. I was crying all the time about not being able to breastfeed. I also had a 3 year old at home at the time. The best decision I made, for the family, was to bottle feed. The stress, anger, anxiety began to melt away. My 2 boys are now 4 and 8 and they are both very smart and very healthy. I can't advise you on what to do, but I wanted to share with you what I did.

DON'T GIVE UP!! Please give it some time. Everyone told me to give it about 2 weeks. I know what it is like to have a difficult nursing experience- I was chapped, soar and bled for 2 weeks and I had a cluster feeder (ate every 2 hours) who had a very ineffective suck. But we stuck it out and after two weeks everything was great. I was so glad I listended to my midwife and the specialists and stuck it out the two weeks! I also found some great products for the soarness- gel circles you keep in the fridge called Soothies work great. Also the Lansanol they give you in the hospital is great and then there is the old trick of expresing some milk and rubbing it on your nipple and letting it air dry. Your milk has healing proporties and will help your skin. Contact me if you would like any more advice. I went through it all and would be happy to share- there must be a reason I went through all that I did. God Bless

Take it from me...hire or visit a Lactation Consultant (with experience or right in the hospital where you delivered...ask your OB/GYN for a referral)...she will make the difference between success or giving up...and consider a breast pump...the industrial double-pump works GREAT and it is WELL worth the rental fees. Good luck

I would be sure to check with your doctors office/hospital or insurance company for a lactation consultant. They are a temendous support and resource during this difficult time. This period is crucial and the hardest part of BF'ing. I have been there. What you really need is some help from someone with experience.
Some things i would try in the meantime are: nipple shields to wear inside of your bra, it allows air to circulate around the nipple and prevents chaffing from your clothing. Sore nipples can come from a poor latch on and this is what the LC can REALLY help with. Try pumping a little after feeds to help stimulate production, I would use a bit of this milk ON your nipples instead of any OTC creams or lotions. Hang in there Momma! you can do it!

Hi,

Hang in there. I bawled during feedings for the first few weeks and felt like quitting many times. I used to wake up in the middle of the night delirious from no sleep and panic that my baby was still in the bed and I couldn't find her. Everyone told me that six weeks was the magic number and I really think that it is. Everything got better and if you had told me then that I would nurse for a year I would have laughed at you. You will be wonderful :)

Hi P.,
Your feelings are completely on target...not just the hormones speaking...many of us totally understand because we did have babies who latched on right away. I had same problem. Before my son was latching on successfully when he needed the milk, I would use a tiny plastic dropper and my finger (all my right hand) and I would cradle him with my left hand/arm and boppy. As he sucked on my index finger, the tip of the dropper was just below the tip of my index finger and I would slowly use my mouth to push the top of the dropper. It sounds harder then it is...it is only tough refilling the dropper so get a heavy cup for the side table. This also teaches them to latch on...at least that is how I feel...I would often try to feed him without this method to see how it went...eventually I was confident that breast feeding was enough.
Good luck!

Hi P., congrats on the baby. I nursed my daughter too, and I had a lot f pain in the first week or so, I just wanted to quit more than anything. But, as soon as my milk wasn't raging quite so much we figured it out together. I also got a hand pump so if I was really full I could take a little out to make my breasts a little softer, it wouldn't hurt for her to latch on nearly as much that way. Good luck, hope this helps.

Hi P.. Congratulations! Don't worry, it will get better...!

I had a hard time breast-feeding my first baby. He was not a good nurser and my milk did not come in the way it was supposed to (it did with my second child, but the first baby did nothing to initiate it). I was stressed because he'd lost a lot of weight and was dehydrated and jaundiced by the end of the third day, but I was also stubborn as he** and I didn't want to give up on the breast-feeding. He ended up getting both breast milk and supplemental formula, and it worked out just fine.

Since you have plenty of milk, get a good breast pump and pump the milk. If your daughter isn't keeping up with your production, it will store (you can even freeze it), and if you're having trouble getting her to nurse you can give her your own milk in a bottle. Some people caution that this may make your baby prefer the bottle to the breast, but both my kids would drink from either and did. Until my baby got the hang of breastfeeding, I tried nursing him when we were both awake and up for it, and at night I (or his dad!) would give him a bottle so everybody could get back to sleep more quickly.

Maybe this will work for you.

Good luck and congrats again!

Jenn

I recently had my second child and I had forgotten until last month just how hard breastfeeding is!
The soreness should go away within two weeks. You can try creams to help with the pain of cracked nipples. If you have pain more than a minute or so after latch, the baby may not be latching correctly (not opening the mouth wide enough) and then you should try re-starting her feeding.
I know how overwhelming and frustrating and emotional this can be, especially when family members are always commenting on how small the baby is and questioning whether she is getting enough to eat. I suggest you stick with it for another couple of weeks and if it is still this hard you can try alternatives. You can either pump and give that bottle to the baby or try formula instead if pumping doesn't work out for you either. I started my children on partly breast-feeding/partly pumped milk in bottles out of necessity (going back to work) at 2 weeks and 4 weeks. This is a lot earlier than recommended but I found that if you use the right bottle/nipple then it is close enough to a real nipple to avoid trouble for the baby. We have had good success with Avent and also Mam bottles, which were recommended by a pediatrician and lactation consultant.
Good luck. I know you are feeling exhausted and emotionally drained, but you can make it work.

I feel ya, I had a c-section also and had an AWFUL time nursing. It was excruciating, I would scream out in pain and tears would flow every time he nursed. My nips were cracked and bleeding for 10 weeks and I never did make enough milk. I had 2 lactation consultants and went to LLL meetings and had every experienced nursing mom try to help me, but eventually we got it right and I'm SO glad I stuck it out. It's a once in a lifetime experience, and I would have deeply regretted it if I had given up, especially where I had a c-section I felt like if I couldn't give birth to him naturally then I was sure as sh*t going to feed him naturally. It's so so so hard when you're body is trying to heal your incision and trying to make milk, too. And with a toddler!!! Plus with hormones after giving birth....it can be so hard. But don't give up! You'll be glad. =)

I had the same problem when I brought home my baby daughter many years ago. I used A &D ointment, which is on sale at Rite Aid this week in the baby section on the top shelf. Just keep your nipples well lubricated, and when she feeds know that she is getting a few extra vitamins. D. P.

First of all... RELAX!! There is so much pressure on moms to breastfeed and I felt it too. All my friends were breastfeeding and I was determined to do it too. Every feeding I would put my daughter up to breastfeed, but she wouldn't latch on. She'd get hysterical and I would feel bad. I felt like I couldn't provide for my child. I felt like a terrible mom. Plus I was a hormonal mess and in pain because I also had a c-section. I met with lactation consultants, I pumped (which SUCKED), I stressed my self out. I had to supplement because it was either that or starve my child and I felt awful because I felt that that wasn't the best thing for my little angel. "The breast is best". Even through all that, I still was determined to breastfeed. My daughter didn't latch on till she was a month old, so by that time my milk supply was very low. Once she latched on I would put her to the beast, then would still have to follow it up with formula. And of course she would cry at the breast because the milk wasn't coming out fast enough. I had originally planned to strictly breastfeed for 6 months, but my plan didn't work out. I was able to give my baby breastmilk along with formula for the first three months and deciding to quit breatfeeding was a very difficult decision. Once I decided it was time to quit, I was somewhat relieved. Honestly... I don't regret it. I really felt as though I gave it a good effort. I have a healthy, happy, beautiful one year old daughter.

The moral of my story... relax, enjoy whatever you decide to do. You also have a 3 yr old son you need to take care of. I think you have to be determined and motivated to breastfeed. It is very demanding. Don't give up if that is what you really want. I used a nipple shield for a while which was helpful to get the baby to latch on. Medela makes a good one. Meeting with a lactation consultant can be very helpful or get in with a support group La Leche League. If you decided it's not for you or it's too difficult or if you need to supplement: DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO and you won't regret it.

definitely try to keep up with the breast feeding! My pediatrician recommended a salve for my nipples (can't remember what is was, but it was common - A and D?) so you could ask your pediatrician. Also, I'm sure the hospital could hook you up with a lactation specialist to help you sort out any nursing issues. I supplemented a little bit with a bottle of formula for my son - who was jaundiced - and I was stressed about getting his bili rubins down.

Dont forget to drink TONS of water - like a gallon! - that will help alot.

(I was a peanut too)

Girl I feel your pain. It is so hard in the beginning, never mind trying to take care of yourself after major surgery (because it is!) hormones, no sleep, and taking care of your 3 year old. I would keep trying if you can. Go day by day so you don't get too overwhelmed. Have you tried a breasfeeding support group? I went to one at South Shore Hospital. They are run by lactation consultants who can see how you are nursing, make sure you don't have anything else going on- I had a yeast infection on my nipples because they had me on antibiotics in the hospital. It hurt so much to nurse, but after I got treatment, it worked out great. Get the support you need- really. Have someone drive you to a support group. Good luck and hang in there. This is the hardest time! It will get easier, I promise. Let me know if I can help you. -N.

Hi P.. I noticed that your request came a month ago so perhaps you have made your decision by now. Of course you have felt some stress with a three year olf son and a newborn. When I read your note what stood out to me is that you cannot help smile when you look at your daughter THEN you think of how stressed you feel. I say then look at your daughter again. It has been a long time since I held my son to my breast but I will never forget those times of when I would look at him at my breast and he would smile up at me. Rest probably feels like an exception rather than the rule but give yourself as much time to sit and be with them and forget the rest for a time. You deserve it. Right now the more simple it is the less stressful it is.
Good luck,
L.

Congratulations!! I never had a problem breastfeeding my son but a lot of people do and I am sure with your hardwork and determination you'll do just fine. It sounds like you might just be dealing with the stress of a new baby and a toddler. Bringing a baby home can be very stressful and tiring. Hang in there!!!