Breastfeeding/Formula

Hi there,it is very normal to feel that way. I know women who breastfeed for two years. (Not something I was willing to do, but it is normal to these women) I understand the reluctance to give up breast feeding. I had gotten sick not two days after I had my daughter and had to be on two antibiotics, which basically dried my milk up within a week. I regretted this but my daughter is now two and is health and a happy toddler. We are still attached at the hip. So don't worry about that, he will still be very close to you! Good luck! Jen

It's very normal, and you will most likely feel even more sadness after you stop breastfeeding. My first baby I planned to stop after a year. I felt awfull about it and wanted to go back to breastfeeding. But at that point it was too late. I wanted to avoid that with my second so i decided to wait until age 2. He actually ended up gradually slowing down on it himself and by 1 1/2 he had completely stopped. It was still a little sad but not like the first. I think the gradual slow down helped it seem more normal.

When I first had my daughter I couldn't even get breast feeding down....I tried so hard and cried my eyes out. I would look at that formula like it was horrible...but now she eats it and is extremly healthy...just be happy you have been able to do it as long as you have because it is so great for your little boy. But in all honsety....when it comes down to it being able to have someone else get up and feed or being able to leave and not worry about having enough breast milk for the baby is really nice...when I have my 2nd child I will still try to bf again but dont beat your self up....plus its just your crazy hormones too.

Hope that helps
J., mom of my chubby little girl Anna

Hi K.:
I totally understand... bellow is a link to a request I posted a little over a month ago. I sobbed while I wrote it. I basically went thru the same situation exvept that my baby started pushing me away, supplementing was the only way out... it is a sad period... I have done it with 3 kids and it is always heart breaking, believe me they get over it so much faster than you!!!! I decided to still nurse but only part time =-) My third baby is 6 almost 7 months old and get the breast in the morning and at night and then when she wakes up in the middle of the night, It has been tough but I am letting go gradually (specially cause she is my last and I will miss it tremendously) but as they say... this too shall pass and there will be new things that the both of you can share again. Just consider yourself lucky that you were able to do this for your baby, not many mothers have the priviledge!! and yes it is ok to cry... it just shows you what a great bond you have!!!!

Here is the link... let me know if you need any of the feedback I got. I did help a lot and my milk prtoduction has increased again:
http://www.mamasource.com/request/9926145243420295169

K.,
Hi =) Yes, it is normal to feel a little bit of sadness however, you need to do what is best for you and your family. I have nursed two children exclusively and now with my third i chose to use formula. It was a hard decision for me too, but realizing that it was what was best for us i now am happy with my decision. Every mom, family, and child is different, just use your best judgement and it will work out for the best -)
If you need to talk more let me know,
T.

You are not alone. I felt this guilt & responsibility when I was breastfeeding my twins. In the beginning I did it because they were in the NICU and it was good for them. When I brought them home, I said that I would stop when they were 3 months old. I was so tired and felt like I had no time to go out or do anything else but to bf my daughters. I just wanted to rest! But when I thought about the approaching date, I would sit there and cry and feel so guilty for even thinking about stopping. Well, this went on and on and I b/f until my daughters were a year old. It was rewarding, but it was also very tiring. I am fortunate to be able to SAH with my children and not have to worry about the finances. I honestly believe that I can say that had I had the need to return to work, I would have weaned them and started them on formula. I am not the type to go into work and then take time out to pump. I couldn't handle the work load of work and pumping and would be totally stressed out. You have already given your child three beautiful wonderful months of breastmilk and you shouldn't allow anyone to make you feel like you are under some sort of obligation to continue. Moms are all different. Some can do it for years, while others are lucky and blessed to be able to do it for a couple of months. I understand what you are feeling-I really do.

Hi K.,

When my daughter was about the same age I had to do the samething. I cried & felt guilty, I honestly felt like I was feeding her poison! People make you feel like your a bad mother if you don't breastfeed for a year! I had to come to the realisation that formula is good for her and that I was not able to exclusively to breastfeed her. When people would ask me if I am still breastfeeding, I would sadly say know because I knew that they would look at me awful! Funny enough it did not happen, most other moms understood and was like, you have to do what is best for both of you! Some of them even laughed and was like at least you did 3 month, that's alot!
It is a hard feeling but think about why you want to put the baby on formula & don't let guilt or regret keep you breastfeeding! Breastfeeding is supposed to be enjoyable for both of you! So is raising a new life! Don't waste time on guilting yourself! Do what is best for both of you, don't worry about what anyones says or thinks. You will be the best mother you can be!
Let me know how it goes!

~ J.

Totally normal!!! I had some complications after my delivery which required me going on medicine. That prevented me from nursing right away, but I pumped to keep up my supply. Once I was able to breastfeed, we still kept formula for bed time feeding ( mixed with formula or striaght up). That helped daddy bond, and it helpd me build up milk to store some. I finally went dry when she was 11 months. I was so disappointed, sad, etc. I missed the bonding and felt that I was some how not giving her the best nutrition. But guess what. She's fine. She's almost 3 healthy. We always find new ways to bond.
My Best To Ya

It is normal. I was in the same situation as you. It is normal to feel sad , regrets in the process, so you are not alone. Just thing that what you have done for your baby is the best , and that you are keep doing the same!

Honestly, it is going to hurt. I was not able to breastfeed after 2 days and I cried and cried. I know your situation is different and it might be even harder, but make your decision and if its really what you want and you know its for the best, stick with it. He will be fine. Know its not a bad decision if its for the best.

Hi K.,

It's very normal to feel some sadness when transitioning from breasfeeding to formula. I nursed my son for 6 months, and was really sad when I could no longer give him my milk, he bacame less dependent on me. I know what you're oging through, and I think it's very normal. Good luck! Don't worry, there is lots of other ways to still be very close to your little boy.
A.

Hello! yes - its totally normal! I also felt sad when i started supplementing - but your baby will be just fine. You have given him a great start with breast milk and he will continue to get that goodness from you and you can continue to enjoy breastfeeding while supplementing. Do whatever is best for your family. I know when i started supplementing, it was nice to be able to have a little break from all the pumping!

Chin up - you are doing a GREAT job!

Don't worry, you are not alone. I was a stay home mom with my son and nursed him exclusively, no supplements at all, until he started eating baby food. I didn't completely wean him until he was 13 1/2 months old. He was down to one nursing time a day (the middle of the night), and it was still hard and sad.

Try mixing the breastmilk and formula for a while mixing less and less breastmilk in. It will be easier for you emotionally and physically while your body gets used to not producing as much milk.

Every family and situation is different and you should always do what works for YOU. He will adapt to the formula (and you will, too).

G.

K.,

What a dilemma, it's always tough when you are considering supplementing. I guess I would ask yourself why you want to supplement first and really get to the root of the issue. Some of the best advice I've been given suggests that both the Mom and the Baby have to be willing to continue the relationship, and if you are not willing than it's time for you to consider supplementing. It will not be good for you or the baby if you are frustrated and want to stop. On a seperate note, it is possible to continue even if you have to go back to work. I'm working 32 hours a week and pumping twice a day at the office. My DS is almost 5 months old. My original goal was to BF 4 mo and now that I'm pass that goal I want to make it to 6 mo. If I make it that long I may continue but if not than my goal will be to not beat myself up about it. Feel proud that you made it this long and do what is right for you and your family, that is ALL that matters!!!!

It's very normal. I breastfeed my now 4 month old son and have just recently started to supplement. I cried my eyes out the first time I gave him a bottle. As we progressed together, it got easier each time. Now he gets bottles during the day but I still nurse him at night. I would have loved to continue to breastfeed him but like you it was the best decision for my situation. Hang in there just as I am.
A.

Your feelings are normal. Women are biologically hardwired to breastfeed, just as babies are biologically meant to breastfeed. When we go against our biology...rather out of necesity or simply choice...it doesn't uuually feel right. Sometimes it is the only choice, sometimes just the choice you make. If you are making an informed choice and there is not another option, you feel the sadness and regret and this is how it is. If you are making the choice without full information, you can only do what you know, and still later may feel regret and some guilt for not knowing. If you are maiking a choice with full knowledge and understanding and even knowing you choose not to provide your child with your milk, I think that is where the guilt comes in. Doing what you know to be wrong causes guilt. Doing what must be done because you have no choice is sadness.

No one can make another person feel guilty. We each make our choices and then live with the feelings of those choices. I hope no mother feels guilty for making a choice to use artificial infant milk if she is unable to provide her own. Sadness, regret for what she lost and wanted, sure. But guilt? For feeding her baby? No mother should feel guilty because she cannot breastfeed or is not able to provide full milk supply for her child. It is hard enough to be a breastfeeding mother in this culture where bottlefeeding is considered the normal and we are all odd mothers out. We don't need to add guilt to our experience.

If you want to be sure your options are limited to breastfeeding and supplementing with an alternative to your milk, feel free to email me anytime. I will happily brainstorm with you and help you be sure you have explored all your choices.

For any mother who has had a sense of loss or sadness over her milk supply or loss of breastfeeding, I recommend MOBI Moms. Their website is www.mobimotherhood.org and when you go there you will find you are not alone at all.

Best,
P.

It was a tough thing for me to do as well. The bond is so great when you breastfeed and it will always be there. You are not alone I gave up almost entirely at 3 months and then at 4 i was all formula. My good friend in MN breastfeed till 8 months and she was so ready to have her body back. To each her own I say. The babies are loved and well fed.

Have a great day.
BRIGHT BEGINGINGS FORMULA I found is the best

Kim
I am 33 and have a 10 month old little boy.

Yes, it is normal. I felt guilty when I gave the baby his first supplement but you know what sometimes we have to do what we have to do and as long as you do it combined: breastmilk and formula the baby will be ok. I started with 1 oz or my milk and 1 oz of formula and the baby felt ok. Then when I went to Orlando with my older kids I left him with my mom and she alternated feedings breastmilk and formula and he did just fine. He will be ok. Don't worry, just give him as much breastmilk as you can and supplement with the formula.

It is completely normal to feel this way. You are going to feel this way about a lot of things. That's what moms do, it's just a part of the experience. So don't worry like I said it is completely normal.

Hey K., your feelings are absolutely NORMAL! I felt that way as well when I started supplementing my daughter w/formula. I breastfed her exclusively until she was about 3m. Then she got too big for me to feel comfortable with bf in public so I gave her a bottle. I felt so guilty. But then I realized, shes still getting the breast milk, so shes still getting all the good stuff. Plus, formulas have more iron which they need and dont get as much from the bf. I stopped bf entirely and went to bottles when she turned 6m. Talk about heartache! She was wanting to look around at everything by then and really seemed to enjoy sitting up while eating so that made it easier. I still miss it, but it allows you to have a break as well. Good luck girl,

Hi, I am actully going through the SAME EXACT situation. My daughter is 2 1/2 and with her I only breastfed for like 2wks and they had already given her formula in the hospital. With my son I was sure things HAD TO be different because you hear soooo much how good breastfeeding is and how totally bad formula is. I have just recentlly had to start giving him formula after only giving him breastmilk for three months (he is 3 1/2 months old), I was in the middle of a move last month and all of a sudden my milk wasn't satifying him, he would cry and push away after eating for about 10-15 mins, and nothing would help. So sobbing the whole time I gave him his first bottle. Since then I still cant keep him wanting to nurse so hes eating mostly formula only nursing like 1-2 times a day for only a short time before he gets frustrated. Soo.. here's what I've figured out as a mother of two... Medically they are FINE on formula, my daughter never had problems with formula and she is a VERY healthy strong well immuned two year old, and my son is a very healthy ,happy 3 1/2 month old. Emotionally for US the mothers it SUCKS after bonding that closely with them you hate to see them with something soo foriegn (at least in our eyes)like a bottle feeding them, and at the same time you feel soooo guilty because you feel like if only I had more time, if only I did this or that I could fix this and they could just feed from me... it feels like it's all your fault and like you are taking something great away from them. I know I'm there too... but my little boy is very happy, and all I can do is be the best mom I can be and thats not being frustrated because I ,keyword I ,want to be able to nurse him, he doesn't want to and I need to be able to function so that he can have a home to live in (work), so that home can be clean (housework), and so I can give us a better future (school,I'm in college), the most important lesson I've learned is the three very best things you can do for your children are 1. BE HAPPY!! the old saying "if mamas happy everyones happy" is sooo true,kids hate seeing you stressed or upset, they can feel it off you even when you PRETEND to be happy! 2. Keep they're enviroment clean and healthy ( which means you HAVE to have the TIME to do it) 3. Spend time with them! You'll see that it goes by WAY TOO FAST!! Trust me it seems like yesterday that my daughter was an infant!
I know that your probablly older than me , I'm only 20, 21 in May, but young or not I'm a mom and I've been there!!! I'm actully kinda happy to hear someone feels guilty like me, everyone else thought I was overeacting, lol. I live in Palm Bay, if your nearby we should get the babies together, maybe coffee for us and set the carseats facing for them,lol. Hope my advice helps! K.

Breast feeding is the best thing you can do for him no matter how much you can!! If you need to supplement that is anther story, but as much brteastmilk as you can give him the better off he is so never feel guilty about the fact that you are still giving him the most nutritious thing he will EVER eat!