Breastmilk/formula Disaster - Please Help

Updated on May 22, 2013
O.V. asks from New York, NY
18 answers

Hi moms! I am still breastfeeding my son who is 9 months. I just started leaving him twice a week for a full day with my mom while I go to school. Yesterday in school I pumped enough for tomorrow and put it in the refrigirator (I read that it's better than freezing it). My husband did not close the door of the refrigerator entirely so in the morning the temp there was 80F and I can't use the milk anymore. I don't have any back up supply. I breastfeed my son every 3 hours and twice a night so it's hard for me to sqeeze in the extra pumping session. But I was going to start doing it this week (and told my husband to make sure the door of the refrigerator is closed entirely meanwhile). Now don't know what to do - I have to be in school tomorrow and can only breastfeed him before I go. My husband bought an organic formula to give my son tomorrow. He only had some formula at the hospital when he was just born (for low blood sugar and jaundice) but it was a very small amount. The formula is milk based. My husband was allergic to cow's milk when he was little and he and his family have lots of allergies. I also read online that you need to gradualy introduce the baby to the formula to make sure their tummies adjust to it. Ahh, I am so frustrated - I don't know what to do.

What can I do next?

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O.O.

answers from Kansas City on

Well, since you need to be at school, the logical thing is to leave the formula with Grammy.
At 9 months, he's eating other foods right?
Even if he refuses the formula he won't starve.
Relax.
It's important THAT the baby be fed, not WHAT he's fed.

Moving forward, TRY to stock some BM and MIX with formula on school days.

Best!

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C.S.

answers from Miami on

Dear O.,

The #1 rule in parenting - do the best that you can do. So, if you don't have breast milk for tomorrow, leave your mom with the formula. If your son doesn't like it, he is old enough to have some water and maybe a bit of juice (in a sippy cup!) to keep him hydrated. At 9 months old, I am guessing that he eats some solid foods? Have your mom offer the formula in whatever bottle or sippy cup she has been using for your pumped milk and if your son doesn't like it than he will refuse it. Tell her in that case to offer other liquids. You will both survive and one day you might even laugh with your husband about the refrigerator door fiasco.

Be sure to pump at the same times you normally nurse so that your supply doesn't diminish! Hang in there! This too will pass. C.

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E.T.

answers from Albuquerque on

If you can drink milk while breastfeeding then your son is not allergic. If that's the case, leave the formula with grandma and he'll have some of that while you're gone.

As new moms, we have all stressed out SO MUCH about having to use formula... but really... it's just fine. He doesn't need major time to adjust. If you nurse him before you leave, he'll have one or maybe two bottles of formula before you get back. It feels like the end of the world to you now... but it isn't. You're going a great job and a little bit of formula is just fine!

(and like the other poster... wow... every three hours at nine months old? He may be able to go longer - have you tried? Either way - I can't imagine that he'd need a bottle every three hours, so he'll have less formula than you're imagining).

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M.G.

answers from Kansas City on

Relax. Non-breast fed babies receive milk based formula from the hour they are born and are just fine. Leave the formula for Grandma and go to school.

M

3 moms found this helpful
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J.Y.

answers from Chicago on

JAre you sure you can't use the milk? Breast milk can be safely kept at room temperature for several hours before refrigeration. A lactation consultant told me up to 10 hours. Breastmilk has antimicrobial properties. Also, there is a Facebook page that women with extra frozen milk freely donate. I think it's eats on feets Illinois. My friend was able to supplement her adopted baby for a year going through them.

I just wanted to add that my 13 month old still nurses every 1-3 hours during the day. It is totally normal for them to nurse frequently.

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D.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Don't panic!
Do you need to restrict your diet at all? If you can drink a glass of milk and the baby isn't affected by it when you nurse, then he's probably not cow's milk intolerant. So he'll probably be fine with the formula. You could try a little of it today when you are home with him to see how he reacts (and then pump at that time when you would have nursed, so you have some breastmilk in the fridge).

That said, at 9 months - will he drink water or juice yet? Or cereal made with water or juice? If so, they could keep his belly full and keep him hydrated for a day with cereal, babyfood, and water in his bottle or a cup. It's not what you want to do long-term, but I think he'd be ok for a day.

And, of course, you have today to squeeze in an extra pumping session or two so you have at least a little breastmilk for tomorrow.

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S.K.

answers from Chicago on

I know this is stressful right now, no one likes to see breastmilk go to waste. But everything will be just fine. If I were you I would offer one bottle of formula today (you will probably have better luck getting baby to take it if it is offered by dad or someone other than you, you should not be around or he may refuse hoping you will nurse him). It is probably a good idea to find out how he responds to formula so it can be a back up option when necessary. Pump during that formula feeding. I would also pump after each feeding today, yes, it will be quite time consuming but it is only for a day. Even if you only get an ounce or so it will add up by tomorrow. If he is taking some solids also try to make adjustments to up the solid food just for tomorrow to help him through the day. Increased solids with whatever you can pump today and formula as a back up should get you through the day.
You have done a great job nursing. Having formula available as a back up can actually be comforting, knowing he has something to drink if you were ever unable to make it back in time or were suddenly unable to nurse for some reason. It is not harmful (assuming he tolerates it well), and will not tarnish or diminish your nursing efforts. I wish you all the best.

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

Please don't assume he isn't allergic to milk if you breastfeed and eat dairy. My son had a milk protein allergy. I'm a vegetarian, so I eat a lot of dairy. We had no problems breastfeeding, but he had awful reactions to yogurt and milk when I tried to introduce it.

I wish I had some suggestions for tomorrow. I don't. You may have to skip school. Sorry!

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P.N.

answers from Denver on

I'm sorry that a post or 2 on here attempted to minimize the AMAZING job you are doing of breastfeeding, and the lengths we will go to protect our kids' health (and for us, this includes not adding formula).
I can sympathize with your frustration. I know this post comes late, but pumping one side while feeding on the other is always a good way to get an ounce or 2 at each feeding. You can put baby to the breast you pumped when its time to switch sides, and he'll still get some hindmilk. Also, my 8 month old is taking some solids now, so if it were me, I would rather up the baby food and juice for the day than add an unknown, like formula.
Good luck, and what a great thing you are doing by breastfeeding through this first year!
ETA: My babies all nursed on demand at that age, including every 2-3 hours. If you don't or didn't nurse, you wouldn't understand that it is SO very different that formula feeding. So for the poster(s) who said every 3 hours is "too much", you are simply wrong

Also, my 4th son had a milk protein allergy that we didn't pick up on until I started trying to give him whole milk at age 1-ish. I was eating dairy the whol time I nursed. So for the poster that said otherwise, you are simply wrong.

Anytime you introduce a new food to a baby under age 1, it should be done SLOWLY, and in small increments (this includes formula, which has cow milk, whey protein, and about 70 OTHER ingredients) so to the poster that said there needn't be an adjustment period (or that this first feeding should be done at the sitter) you are simply wrong.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I think you can mix it. You can also talk to your mom and explain that you are unable to gradually introduce this so please alert you to any problems immediately. Your professor doesn't need to know more than "my baby is sick and I have to leave."

You can also consider asking her to give him all the breastmilk you have possible first and some water (at 9 mo, he's eating solids, right?) and save the formula for the very last, so you can see his reaction.

I have done the "pump one side while nursing the other" and "pumping in the car" and "pumping at weird hours" thing. Anybody who says not to cry over spilled milk has never struggled with pumping milk for her child and had it spill. So I totally get how you feel.

So, for today, I'd pump one side and nurse the other all day. Pump when he naps. Even if it's just a few spare ounces, it's something you can give your mom to either use first or to mix. After you nurse him tomorrow AM, pump some or pump one side, nurse the other.

If you are close enough to swing home for lunch or can sneak out of a lecture, I'd consider it.

Kellymom.com may also have feeding tips in their supplementation section.

Hang in there and try not to strangle DH. This is just a bump in the road and you can get through it.

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B.A.

answers from Minneapolis on

Mom, you are doing great with breastfeeding, then pumping on top of it. Things happen and this is just a small bump in the road. He will do just fine on formula for the hours you are in school. If he did not react to formula as a newborn, he is not allergic to it and now at nine months old I would not worry.

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G.K.

answers from San Francisco on

Is there someone you know who is nursing that can donate breast milk to you? I know we have an organization here in the Bay Area that helps pair moms who need breast milk with moms who have milk to donate. You could try to find a temporary donor.

If not, this is a situation where formula is obviously needed. However, if he won't drink the formula (for whatever reason), you could also try water in a sippy and some other solids to hold him over. As for introducing it gradually, you don't have that luxury, and honestly, there are babies who are formula-fed from birth.

As a breastfeeding peer counselor, obviously we encourage breastfeeding, but we also acknowledge that there are situations beyond our control sometimes. I had to give my son formula for a day when he was 2 weeks old because he was tongue-tied, not latching properly and not getting enough milk. We do what we have to, so try not to feel guilty if he needs a bottle of formula. :)

As for how often he nurses, that's awesome that you're so in tune with his needs. Remember, babies don't nurse JUST for food, and if he's not eating a lot of solids, then he very well may need to eat every 3 hours. Mine both nursed about that often at that age.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

How many hours are you planning on being at school? At this age the baby can drink Juicy Juice in a 4 oz. bottle at some time while you're gone. He can eat some table food such as a banana smashed up super fine. He could eat a small jar of single food baby food if he's not been eating that. Something simple that wouldn't upset his tummy.

He's not too young to be without breast milk if he feeds really well right before you leave him for 4-5 hours. If he takes the bottle of juice then eats a few bites of other stuff he should be okay without any additional formula.

I wouldn't chance it since he's never had it. You do NOT want an allergic reaction on your first day to leave him while you're at school.

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M.P.

answers from Raleigh on

When I got mastitis, my daughter was 4 weeks. She flat our refused my milk. The infection altered the taste and she wouldn't have anything to do with it. So, we just went cold turkey on the formula and she was fine. Give it a go, and see what happens. If there is a discomfort, you'll be tell pretty quickly. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do.

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M.S.

answers from Portland on

If you eat dairy and your son doesn't have any problems, then the formula should be fine. If you are at all worried, then get the Alimentum or Nurtramingen because these do not have any dairy or soy in them. I had to use them for my kiddos when they were babies. Both of mine were so allergic to milk that I couldn't even eat it when I was pregnant because it made me throw up.

Your little guy will only miss 2 feedings if you are gone right? So, formula for one day isn't going to hurt him at all, as long he is not allergic to the milk. I also used the organic soy formula from Safeway and had great results for my daughter. I'm sorry your fridge got left open!

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E.M.

answers from Phoenix on

I was in school when I had my first, so I feel your pain!! Because you have never tried him on formula before, and there is a history of allergies in the family, I would not make his first big formula feeding at the sitter's. I don't have anything against a formula bottle now and then for a breastfed baby, my first had a few when I was running late, etc, and he was just fine! However, I had a friend of mine give him soy formula for the first time while I was working for a couple of hours and he had a violent reaction- projectile vomiting. No real harm done, but not fun for any of us. I would highly recommend feeding at the sitter's right before you leave, going to school only as long as absolutely necessary, and having the sitter give him water to hold him off until you return. If you have introduced any solids, have her feed him some snacks. Over the weekend, give him a try on formula while you are home. Start with just a couple of ounces. You can also pump on the feeding that you give formula to help re-build your supply. If you can pump even a tiny bit tonight and tomorrow, you can give that to the sitter to mix with water and help keep him happy for the few hours that you are gone. I would also highly recommend pumping and freezing, even if it is only a couple of 2 ounce bags. You can give those to the sitter to keep in her freezer for emergencies.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

Nurse him before you leave. A lot of breast fed babies just wait for Mom to come home. He won't starve. My granddaughter does this as does my friends grandson. Every three hours at 9 months? Wow. That's a lot. He must be having some food by now. He will be fine. Did you just now decide to go to school? I think you need to formulate a plan I.e. pumping, giving formula once or twice a day.

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M.O.

answers from New York on

Do you eat dairy products? If you do, and if your son hasn't had any problems, I think you'll be fine giving him formula as a one-time thing. If he had a severe, anaphylaxis-level dairy allergy, he would've reacted to any cow's milk you consumed. So unless you've been dairy-free the whole time you've been nursing, you're probably fine.

Sorry about the spoiled milk, btw. Sounds like no fun having all that pumping work go to waste!

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