Budget for Buying for Kid You Don't Know and Help deciding...christmas Giving

I do this kind of shopping every year so I would go ahead and get the doll etc. Do not worry if you are getting something she already has because those who get these presents just appreciate all that you give.
If I was able I would get her a couple of outfits and perhaps pajamas, socks and underwear.
I would also include a few books and/or a puzzle suitable for her age with the toys.
Since you have a little girl that age you already know what she might like.
If you are careful you can do this for $100-$150 or less.
If you want to spend more then consider providing for another child or children as well.
Happy giving!

I would buy the "under priveledged" child that perfect doll with all the cool stuff your daughter picked out and maybe 3 or 4 cute little outfits and socks and panties.Maybe a few smaller toys or games.Perhaps a new winter coat and mittens.If your feeling real generous maybe a bycycle. Remember this child is not expecting anything as she is on a Special list of children who won't have anything. The child will be thrilled regardless to the color of the doll.
A couple years ago I met a mom who had two small children she was working as a waitress, She could barely pay her rent let alone afford toys or chothes for her two children.My friend and I carefully gathered information on the two children as the grandmother also worked there. A few days before Christmas we had everything wrapped and ready for her but we did not want it known what we had done so I called our local police chief of our village and asked him to deliver these huge bags of Christmas presents to her at work.He agreed being a great guy and I got to sit and drink my coffee as he walked in with 3 huge bags of presents and ask if she was Amanda, a little put off that a police officer was asking who she was she said yes what is wrong. He said some guy in a red suit ask me to deliver this too you and handed her the bags. The look on her face was worth a million dollars too me and my friend, the tears of joy rolling down her cheeks. I never told her who her secret santa was but I know that not only did her children get a nice christmas but I even made up a gift bag for Mommy with a note attached that said Your a great Mom and really trying hard and I just wanted to help you. Love, Mrs. Santa
This young Mother has turned her life around and is now going to school to be a nurse and her little ones are well cared for.She gave up her old life and is now a church going mommy and has a bright future ahead for her and her children. The cost of all of this was under $300. I make about $700. a month on disability but I would do it again and again just to see the joy I created.

I adopt a child every year and do a combination of things. I try to buy a toy they ask for and clothes, espeically when you get one that ask for such "simple" things. (Not the child asking for a X-Box game or three and that's all.)
I would say a baby doll, and an outfit or two, some gloves/hat (I always throw those in just because you never know). These kids really do need the most simpliest of things. The family will be so grateful their daughter got something and she gets a Christmas they won't mind what race the baby is.
We have been grateful enough to work with a group that writes us back after Christmas. They are so very grateful for everything we give them and so shocked that they get anything at all. (They are really asking for something to give to someone else and don't know that their list to Santa comes to us!) Really, don't over think it, don't spend yourself silly but get what you feel is the right amount for your family to give.

Hey...this is suppose to be fun! I'd definitely go toys instead of clothes, and wouldn't worry about the things you don't know like race and what she's already got. And the little girl will take far more notice of an awesome wrapping job than how much you spent. So if you're allowed to wrap the presents, go sparkly and eye-catching!

Oh, and I think it's really wonderful that you're doing this. Especially getting your daughter involved -- it's really sweet. :)

What a wonderful thing your are doing. I think you are stressing yourself out too much over this, I would get the Dora doll and the doll your daughter liked for the child and a couple of warm outfits for winter. Christmas giving especially to children shouldn't be a stressor, children are thankful for any gift that they receive. And don't worry about the parents just to see their child happy on christmas is what it's about and I am sure they are thankful that you are helping make their child's christmas a special one. Go with your heart on this one and know you are doing a wonderful thing. God Bless you for your kindness and caring.

Okay your doing a nice thing, don't overthink it. I would buy the baby doll. If you are getting it from a mass merchandiser like walmart or target you can always tape a gift reciept to the box or inside the lid (or on a card if you are allowed to send one.

Also jcpenny has a special going right now and you should be able to print off a coupong for $10 of a purchase of $10 or more. There Okie doke kids clothes hold up really well. They have a good selection and most items are mix and match. You can probably get 3 complete outfits (shirts or tunics and leggings or pantrs for under $20.

And a girl would love anything dora and won't care about duplicates (or you could do the gift reciept thing). Most places excepting gifts are looking for you to spend about $40-$50 per person you are buying gifts for, so if you spend a little more don't worry. Let your kids help by picking things out and if your daughter wants to give her the baby doll go ahead. Merry Christmas.

I agree with the others that you're worrying too much about this. I don't know exactly how your program works, but I know some places take what the child is given and add other things as needed. So if she has siblings, they'll probably make sure all the kids' gifts are comparable.

We pick at least one ornament off our church giving tree every year. Some years, we get a tag with a child's name and a couple specific requests. Other years, we just get a generic "5-year-old boy" or something like that. If the tag has a specific request (toy/clothes), we try to honor it.

This year, we actually picked three tags off the tree -- one to match up with each of my three kids. Each child is getting 1-3 toys/games, a couple books, a new shirt/pants, a pair of socks, hat, and gloves. When I was out shopping for my kids, I'd just pick up a couple similar items for the "giving tree kids," especially if I found a good deal. I figure most families can never have too many hats/gloves/socks since they're always getting lost. (I know we need plenty of extras!) I like tossing in the books, too, because you'd be surprised at how few books some families have. If I had to guess, I'd say we spent about $50 per child, but it may be a bit more than that since I kept tossing in several small items.

As for the race of the doll, don't let it bother you. If you and your daughter think it would be a great gift, then buy it! We have baby dolls of multiple races, and my children all play with them happily. Children don't tend to see skin color as an important difference -- it's just like hair color to them.

Also, keep in mind that if this family is on a giving tree, they don't have much. Odds are that the child won't already have whatever you buy. And if by some small coincidence, she does, she can learn the value of regifting. :-) She also may just be thrilled to have two of the same thing.

Just have fun, and do what you can. Whatever you can give will be much appreciated.

Don't overanalyze this. If the child is on the list, they have NEEDS. Usually, kids on lists like this are there because they have NEEDS. We try to do a little of everything. Some clothes, especially things like socks, maybe mittens and gloves depending on where this is going, coloring book & crayons, game (Candy Land is good for that age AND interractive) maybe some flash cards for learning letters, phonics, etc.

I would NOT worry about the doll/racial issue. The child asked for DORA. If you can't find DORA, I'm sure you can find a DORA coloring book, set of cards w/ Old Maid, Go Fish, etc. that are DORA.

We try to cover needs and things that are fun and/or educational, etc. We don't know what kind of educational opportunities they have or don't have. Abbie even likes to include a picture of herself and tells a little about herself...what grade she is in, what her favorite things are, etc.

The point is, that you make the effort, don't try to make it perfect. They will be grateful for whatever you contribute.

Ihave done this for a number of years for my church and worked in a program that served low income children for 40 years. I know that children who may get nothing really appreciate what isgiven. Never have I known a parent to be offended by what is given. Most are very grateful. There are always a handful of people who take advantage of the system but they truely are a few. I usually buy a warm hoody, some type of wrm pants, hat and mittens. I also buy one toy if the child has asked for something specific and it's affordable. I have, on occassion purchased a coat instead of the outfit. My budget is usually between $50-$60. It can be done and in actuallity I only buy my own Grandchildren 1 toy and then buy clothes.

Well, I think you're making what COULD be a very enjoyable and rewarding experience into something that is way blown out of proportion. First of all, why are you making such a big deal out of this? I anonymously give, and all I do is get a few ideas, such as "baby items" "towels" and "lotions". I go out and spend about $150 on things that fit into these categories. I drop my things off anonymously, and I actually feel more rewarded by doing it this way. My family doesn't even know that I do this. I can't imagine sitting there at the store busting my brains trying to figure out "what" they'd want, especially if I got a clue such as "Dora". I mean, how much easier can it get? So, I'm not trying to get on you, but I think you need to step back and realize that you're taking the enjoyment out of it. I go into stores, and grab things that I think would fit well into the categories I'm given. That's it, I don't worry about if they're "right", because I assume that whatever I give will be appreciated. I just enjoy helping out by giving to charities. I don't do it for the acknowledgment, I don't tell a bunch of people I do it, I just do it because sometimes people need help, and if you can help, you should.

To be completely honest with you, I think you're really over-analyzing the situation... I assume that you are "adopting" this child because she is in a situation where her family cannot buy her the things that she wants or needs. Given that assumption, I would say that you could pick up a couple of cute outfits, a simple baby doll (don't be concerned about the race - she'll just be happy to have one), and maybe a few Dora things (maybe a coloring book and some crayons or washable markers). You could probably easily keep it under $50 and make this little girl's Christmas a dream come true!!

-If you're having trouble finding Dora stuff, maybe you should try amazon.com or walmart.com (or someplace like that)... they seem to have a good variety.

Just remind yourself that this little girl will be very greatful to get ANYTHING!

You have a great heart!!

Hi J.,

We buy for a child every year. If you have questions about dollar limits ask the person coordinating the gift giving. Sometimes there are limits. As for the doll - if possible, give what the child is asking for even if it is not what your child wants. Remember that the little ones are expecting Santa to bring what they asked for. Either way I'm sure the parents truely appreciate what you are doing for their child.

I would buy the baby doll that your daughter found if the people were real picky they would have asked for a color. If you can find the Dora things I would buy them if you can afford them. The other thing to remember is if this family has other children that you didn't adopted and you get tons of stuff for the 4 year old the other children my feel bad.
We have worked with Many Angel Tree programs over the years and the parents are asked to be specific as to what their kids want. So be generous if you can But don't feel like you need to do more them you can afford

Here is something to consider when purchasing the gifts. What if this child had several siblings and others could only afford to get them a few items, and your angel got the store?
I would buy a doll with the accessories,(does it really matter the race? all children and dolls should be loved--besides the baby (doll) is adopted :)) a toothbrush or pillow of a Dora and if you know the size a Dora outfit.
Nice, but not overdone and not too cheap either.
Just a thought.
I have done this before and I understand your delima. But I think your heart is good and you will be blessed regardless.
Remember this child will be blessed by your giving. Recieving a gift out of love makes it all great!
YOURE AWESOME!

If these people are really truly needy......they will appreciate ANYTHING you give. Even if it is a dollar store special! The giving heart that you have is what they will feel when you provide gifts for them.

But, don't feel that you have to spend $100s of dollars to make them feel loved, like I said, it is the giving heart that matters not the dollar amount. Don't get so hung up on the amount that is spent. Just get what you feel you want to.......without going outside your budget.

J.,

As a parent that has gotten help in the past and will be getting help this year... everything helps!!! Personnaly my 5 year old is asking for Barbies... we don't care about color/race of the doll. She goes to school and there are all colors and races there and we all need to stop seeing that as an issue. So, if they doll is cool & buy it... your 4 yr old should be able to help you greatly when it comes to stuff she likes.

I get more excited when my kids get a mix of stuff... both clothes, toys, and books. It makes it more special for them. As for budget, presonnaly if I had $800 to spare I wouldn't be getting help for my family this year... I've got 3 little ones (5 yr girl and 2 & 4 yr old boys) and could only find $75 to spare after paying all them bills well maybe no one or two - so they each get $25 in stuff or there about. I'm sure anything you get or choose to spend will be appriciated greatly.

Your family has a huge heart, it's special people like you that help to make the holidays a little less stressful for laid-off or struggling parents like me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! My your Christmas be the best you've ever had!!!!

I agree with everyone else. You are doing an amazing thing, and the best part of a 4 year-old is that they don't have preconceived prejudices to be able to judge things the way we do as adults.

Have you considered going to a Goodwill store or something like that and seeing if they have any character items (clothing, etc) that you can purchase? I've heard recently of several people having incredible success at Goodwill and being able to buy considerably more items for much less money.

My other recommendation would be small items that are always ones a child will play with - small containers of playdoh, at Walmart/Target you can get short paperback books for $3-$4, and coloring books/crayons are always really inexpensive.

It gives me hope reading your message that the spirit of Christmas is alive and well!