Bullys

Don't back down. Most bullies are bullies because they are scared or it's what they learned at home. You can be gentle but firm and say NO. You can't have my lunch money or my cupcake or my place in line or the ball I am playing with but you can play with me. They also need to know they can tell. If someone is intimating them they can tell Mom, or teacher or playground supervisor, or principal and the bully will be dealt with.

And sometimes Mom has to yell. My daughter was being grabbed on the boobs all through 3rd grade and into 4th grade, finally she told. I called the police, a report was filed and the other child's parents were talked to and that mother got a case of the 'how dare she'. The harresment became verbal and Mom (me) had another talk with the school principal and that stopped but then the kid started making faces at her and just kept harresing her. I kept asking that they remove one or the other child from the classroom but they refused. It got to the point that I got really mad and told the principal that it stops NOW of I would walk into the classroom -- grab the boy by the shirt -- drag him to the window -- open the window -- hang him out the window -- and tell him to leave my daughter alone or I would drop him. You know it stopped. This was after about 6 months of continued harresment -- not including the 3rd grade year. ( That was my daughter's 4th grade year)

Fifth grade the TEACHER was the bully. Suffice it to say I scared that teacher so bad that even today 12 yrs later if he sees me he turns white and leaves.

I started out gentle but firm but this guy just didn't get it. I threatened to quit my job and sit in the classroom, all day every day, and if he ever raised his voice or physically threatened a child again I would take him out then call the police. He retired at the end of the school year, I still had one child in that school.

In other words don't put up with it.

Unfortunately - you can't give your child self-confidence...it's something that you nurture through their life...

Explain to your child that NOT everyone will like you and that's OKAY...
It is NOT okay to make fun of someone...

Enroll them in Tae Kwon Do or a similar martial arts program...I'm sooo glad I did...builds on the confidence they already have by showing them what they CAN do...

Stay in touch with the school.
Tell your child to sit up straight - walking around slouched makes them an easy target
Tell your child to look people in the eye - it's hard to be bullied when someone is looking you directly in the eye.
It's OKAY to stand up for yourself....
If someone is taunting you - don't take the bait and KNOW that you are better than them because you won't stoop to their level.
When a bully has a "prey" in their sight - it's because that person exhibits characteristics of submission....bully's want people to be submissive..

What I don't get about your question - is there already known bully's at the school and the school isn't doing anything about it? Bullying has sooo changed over the years...it USED to be peer pressure....now? it's your chance at 15 minutes of fame in YouTube....urgh...where are the parents in all of this?!??!?!

School's have become ultra-sensitive to bullying, so you might ask about it at the school and see what steps they have taken to make sure students don't get bullied.

When my daughter was in kindergarten, she had a little girl who liked to push her. At the time, the teacher was having a hard time with tattleing, so she was afraid she would get in trouble if she told on the kid. I told her the next time it happened to say as loud as she could, "Get your hands off of me!" It worked. It surprised the heck out of the little girl who was bullying her and it caught the attention of the teacher and just about everyone else around. She hasn't had any problems since.

Ditto on the Tae Kwon Do. Gave my "milder" son lots of confidence.

Starting at age 2 1/2 I taught my kids how to 1) Say no immediately to things they don't like that other kids are doing. 2) Say "no thank you" if offered or bossed around to play in a way they don't like 3) Hit back if a kids hits them. Many don't approve, but bullies ALWAYS pick the easy target. True life lesson. They warn, "Stop, don't hit me!" first, and if the kid still hits, my kid its back. We also taught them to tell adults about stuff when they got old enough for daycare and K4.

They were firmly disciplined for aggression before age two and would never bite, kick, hit, or go after a kid in any way. This made teaching to "fight back" easier, because they already recognized the other child's action as wrong.

My 3 year old has only had to hit back once to conquer daily attacks from a gym daycare bully (who struck the minute the daycare lady would go change a diaper) and it worked to make the kid stop, and empowered my son. Before that, he had been scared to go, but after he handled the problem, he felt happy. This was age 2 1/2. My 5 year old daughter has had to defend herself verbally MANY times on play grounds etc. She also says, "Hey QUIT IT!" when she sees kids being mean to anyone else.

We also emphasized defense of others. My kids know to never stand by a bully against another child and to always go to the side of the child being bullied to get an adult. My 2 year old has a birth mark and gets mean comments from other kids and my older two jump in to defend her which is good practice for the years ahead. I plan to keep the dialog open and my son will start Tai Kwon Do at 4.

Hi, we have had this problem for a long time and finally have found a way to cope. You can call me: ###-###-####
K.

I raised her to be tough. In fourth grade one boy went around feeling up the girls. My daughter organized all her friends he had done it to. They stripped him naked in the school yard and threw all his clothes around.
The school called all the parents except me. They knew I'd never agree to their punishment for the girls.
The boy kept his hands to himself after that.
In 7th grade she knocked a boy who was bullying her to the ground and all the kids marched her around the school ground calling her the victor.
When the principal called me up I went to his office and gave him a piece of my mind about sexism. He was a person of color and he didn't buy sexism as a problem. Seattle hired him as their school superintendent. I don't think they got their moneys worth. He was a single issue advocate for human rights. But we were rid of him.