Bunk Bed Blues

We went through this with my 7 and 5 yr. old. It drove me crazy at night and they didn't seem to get enough sleep for months!! We couldn't split them back up to separate bedrooms so some nights I would lie in their doorway and read until they went to sleep and kept shushing them so they couldn't play. Mine would do little flips, giggle and then eventually fight and cry before falling asleep in tears. Anyway... TIME has been the fix. After 5 months of the newness wearing off, they have settled down and only have a bad night about once every 3 weeks or so. We just noticed this improvement and it has been pleasant. Good luck!

My 5 and 3 year old share a room and have bunk beds. There really isn't much you can do, just give it time. Our kids never really bothered each other, but they would call for us over and over for different things. We just started a "marble" program. Each night we put 5 marbles in a jar, each time we have to go in, we take one away. When they fill jar we will go do something special. It works better than saying "you'll get marbles in the morning if we don't have to come in" because it is a "now" thing. They see they get the marbles just for going to bed, but if they don't go to sleep, then they get taken away, one by one. Good luck!

Sharing a room can be tough, but it's definitely worth it. Not to mention that it's usually a necessity!
My boys are younger, ages 4 and 22 months. Sometimes I can get them to bed at the same time, but after much frustration, I have abandoned that idea. We do our family bedtime routine together, then I put the youngest to bed first. I wait 20 minutes or so, until he's definitely asleep, before tucking in the 4 year old.
When they go to bed at the same time, the usual result is laughing, yelling, jumping on beds--in other words mayhem--with the oldest yelling loudly and repeatedly, "GO TO SLEEP!" Then he comes out crying and says, "I keep telling him to go to sleep, but he just won't!" It's just not worth it.
Try putting yours to bed at different times and see what happens!

I have a 4 year old and a 7 year old and they have had bunk beds for almost 2 years now. We had some of the same issues, so we changed our nightly routine a bit at that time. We say prayers, and then I sit in the room for about 5-10 minutes to give them time to calm down, and to tell me things that they forgot to tell me or to ask me. I think this is an important bonding time for us. As soon as the room is quiet for about a minute they are both sound asleep. It works like magic for us.

Also, after they brush their teeth they automatically get their sippie cups (because they don't leak) to have by their bed for when they get thirsty.

Best wishes to finding your "new routine".

D.

Try putting the 2 year old to bed first. Then, when she is asleep, put the older one to bed. Get a drink holder, the kind with a little hook used in cars, and hang it by your older daughter's bed and keep her water there so she doesn't have to get up at night. Unless she has to go to the bathroom. Not much you can do there. But see if that works.

A.,
Give them a choice. Who sleeps on top and who on the bottom. If they miss behave, then the choice goes to the other child. use it as a reward system. If worse comes to worse let them sleep on the floor and see if the bed is more comfortable. Or if they sleep and don't disturb eachother have a special campout on the livingroom floor with flashlights and popcorn or other snacks that aren't too messy but are not always food they get to eat.
C. B

Staggering is a good idea. My 2 year old is always driving my 5 year old crazy, but they still enjoy sleeping in the same room. It took about a month and a half until I could get her to stop climbing out of bed and waking her sister up. I just had to keep putting her back in bed. It also didn't help that she needed to talk herself to sleep. My oldest learned to sleep through that. You could also try this method. I leave three pennies for each of them outside of their door. Every time we have to go back to their room or they come out after they are in bed we take a penny away. In the morning they get what ever pennies are left to put into their banks. When they have enough saved up we are going to take them to the store to buy a treat. So far it has worked.

Your little one may not like to be alone when she is awake. One of mine needed a cuddly friend in the middle of the night to help her get back to sleep. You can find ones that sing quiet songs, have soft light glowing from them and turn them selves off. Once in a while, I would hear the cuddly but the talking that woke the other kids stopped.

Try staggering the bedtime by 30 minutes. I do that with my kids and it saved me and my sanity. The younger one is asleep by the time my older one goes to bed. There are STRICT rules that nobody is to wake the other up and to be quiet and respect the other one. Both of my kids know if they go potty in the middle of the night they are to be quiet and I even tell them NOT to flush!
If they are doing it on purpose then you need to start maybe a chart, and every night they do or don't do either a frowny face or happy face depending how it goes and a reward for consistent NOT WAKING each other up. I would say if it isn't working maybe seperate the bunks and make them two twins for now too.

Staggering is perfect. I would suppose once the girls are a little older they will do better going to bed at the same time.

As far as the drink issue goes. If that is an ongoing problem, your son may actually be thirsty. My husband keeps a glass of water on the headboard--always has I guess. My son use to get out of bed to get drinks of water. So now my son also keeps a water cup on his headboard. He empties it and refills each evening when he brushes his teeth, and every few nights replaces the cup. Now He has no reason to get out of bed.

Staggering is a good ideal, I also let them watch a movie while laying down, but only if they are quite and trying to go to sleep as soon as they act up I turn it off. One thing I discovered was that my oldest who was on top really didn't like it. I bought an air mattress to slide under the bunk beds for my 18 month old to sleep on, we have a samll 4 bedroom and with nine people we have to put the 3 smallest in a room togather and my 3 year old DD just ruined her new mattress w/ acccidents and spills and who knows what else, so I went air mattress cause can it be cleaned easier, anyways if my 6 year old sleeps on the air mattress and my DD in her lower bunk they actuall go to sleep better. They like to be close. I have no clue were I am putting the 18 month old know but I'll figure that out. There were times were they just slept on the floor togather. Just a thought, but I would try staggering first.

Hey A.,
Our 2 boys have had bunk beds for the past 2 years. They got them when they were 5 and 3. We have had the same routine for the past 5 years. We brush teeth and say prayers, (part of our routine), and turn on some bedtime music. Then they have 10 minutes to look at books. The music is very relaxing and helps quiet them down. It might take a few weeks for them to get used to it, but sticking with a routine is where its at!!!! For the 10 minutes they can do whatever they would like to do even if it is playing with a toy I really don't care much as the music tends to promote relaxing. THen either me or my husband goes in and that is time for them to get into bed. We read to them. When they were littler they picked their own books and we alternated reading each childs book. We have a chair that we sit in that sits in the corner or another room during the day. We read to them until they fell asleep, but I know that is not always possible. If it was a really good book, sometimes I would add in that the characters would be getting sleepy and sometimes they would take a nap. The power of suggestion works good. I would say that the character got sleepy and then I would yawn, start to lower my voice and talk slower. It worked quite often. They are now 5 and 7 and dont fall asleep during reading anymore, but they still enjoy the time at night that we spend together.

A.,
Please check warning labels about children under 6 even being in a bunk bed. This is very dangerous as they have a habit of trying to jump from the upper bunk. My boys have slept in the same room since they were 1 and 2. I have bunk beds for them but we kept the beds separate until they were 6 and 7 just to be safe. Sleeping-wise, I used to keep the door slightly open with a gate across the stairs if you have one and then my children would come to me instead of their brother. Close off any areas that you need to worry about 2 year old getting into. You lose a little sleep from this method but with some consistency about putting them right back to bed, and giving them something to cuddle, they should grow out of the waking up at night unless they have a bad dream. Stay strong.

J.