Okay ladies, I am coming to you for an impartial opinion.
Today is my husband's birthday. I know that he REALLY wants a new BBQ. Ours is about 20 years old and was his dad's. The one that he wants is expensive. He said he is okay if this is a birthday/Christmas gift. We are trying to pay off debt too. I have snowballed to the point that I can still pay all the minimum payments and afford this gift, with still a little extra going to the debt, but not the big amount we have been able to do lately. It would only be this one month and then we would get back to paying off. Plus, it would be that much less that I wouldn't be spending in December. I also have a tendency to overspend a bit at holidays because he is soooo thoughtful with gifts and I never feel that mine measure up. I know that if I don't get the bbq, I am likely to spend that much anyway, trying to make up for it.
Ahhhhh...what would you do? I can't figure out if I am trying to talk myself into it or out of it!
Update: I do have few small things that I can still give him for Christmas without spending. It isn't just Christmas that the gifts don't add up, birthdays too. And yes, Idaho is all seasons, but we actually grill year round. We grill at least once a week, even in the winter.
Another Update: Haha, you guys aren't helping at all! Reading these is like replaying the conversation in my head! Except for those that are telling me to spend more! Haha, thanks ladies. Maybe I will decide when I get to Lowes.
So, I mentioned to my husband that the extra on the payoff was going to be light this month. We do have the rest of our tax refund that is going to it this month, which helps. He seemed okay with this. I wanted this to be a surprise, so I didn't want to straight out ask him about it. I read the last three responses while sitting in the parking lot of Lowes. So, I went in and asked about winter sales. One of the colors was actually on Clearance and down $150, which is great for the brand. I doubt it will get any better than that in winter sales. I went ahead and got it. It is still in the box, so if my husband decides he wants to return it (he won't!) he can.
Thanks everyone for your input. I will be right back on track next month.
I think it is more important to not be in debt and to have some savings for a rainy day.
Delayed Gratification is needed here.........wait til you are out of debt and have saved enough money to pay cash for it.
If you truly think you will end up spending the money in December anyway AND you truly know that if you spend the money now on the BBQ you absolutely will NOT still spend money at Christmas time then get the BBQ now.
Good luck,
K.
BUY HIM THE BBQ! He's your husband, its his birthday. He deserves it!!
Also, when Christmas comes around... buy him a gift. Don't let him be the only one without a gift to open. It doesn't have to be super expensive, but buy him something nice.
Give a huge Happy Birthday kiss when he sees the BBQ wrapped in a big red bow!
Put half down this month and the other half next month. Then, both of you stop over spending at Christmas time on gifts. Pay off your debt, paying the minimum payments won't eliminate them :) Just so you know, my husband and I only get each other one thing for Christmas and the limit is $50.... unless we share and get something new for both of us (but that is only every other year or so).
oh. and everything Anna Lee said below me too!
I say wait till Christmas to purchase the grill. They will not be in season and should be cheaper. I was able to get my husbands $400 grill on sale/clearance for $190 in December just b/c it was not the season to be purchasing. Plus if you wait it allows you more time to save for it and also continue to pay off your debt.
Good luck!
I vote to buy the grill.
You've said that you have the money and can meet all of your bill requirements. So go for it. If you don't, you'll feel guilty, and spend some money anyway on a gift that he might not appreciate as much.
Then for Christmas, you could buy new accessories, cookbook, spices, a 'Grillmaster' cooking apron....
buy the grill, then you will have it for another 20 years. Everyone will be happy in the long run.
Buy the BBQ. =0) He will cook the entire family, extended family and friends delicious meals for years to come. It's a great gift that gives back to everyone, not just him. He will be very touched that you care about him enough to splurge a bit even tho' you guys are in payoff mode. You'll get massive "my wife rocks!" points for it, too! =0)
Ok, I've been here. What happens is I buy my hubs the special/big gift combo and he says I don't have to buy anything for Christmas and then Christmas rolls around 3 months later and we spend the same amount as if the big earlier gift never occured. You already said you feel your presents don't match up to your hubs at Christmas. Do you really think you can buy this gift now and not want to buy him more stuff when Christmas comes? If you know you are a sucker for your sweet hubby, I say no grill now and wait. Plus isn't ID all four seasons? How much grill time would you have before winter sets in? I know it's tough but stay strong. :)
I assume you're using the Dave Ramsay debt snowball method? The point isn't use the snowball to get to where the minimum payments are 'comfortable' but to eliminate them! So--according to Dave--no grill.
Buy him the grill after the debt is gone and you will have ZERO quilt about it. Good luck.
(Could you dip into the emergency fund? What are we talking about price wise here? If it's a $400 grill and you have 1K or 3-6 mos expenses saved up in your emergency fund--you could do that & replace it quickly!)
I agree that you should not NOT buy Christmas just because of an expensive birthday. I got my husband his second PS3 (long story) for his birthday but a game or two will be Christmas for him. This is what makes him happy.
Buy the grill for B-day but no accessories (except maybe a cover). Then for Christmas, buy a nice (but not too expensive) accessory kit (tongs, turners, spatula...ect).
you must have updated at the same time as i answered so this is my attempt at deleting my post. :) happy bbq'ing!
Can you be as disciplined as you say in the future months? We'll hold you accountable!
If so, buy it.
You sound to me like you already answered your own question, specifically by saying that you would probably spend the same amount of money on small gifts trying to make up for not getting him the BBQ. So....what is the issue? Buy the man the BBQ! It's is really a household appliance and not a gift that is only about him, so it's not like he is asking for something ridiculous. You will all benefit from having it. He could be asking for a video game machine! Also, I am impressed that he is asking for something so utilitarian.....are you asking for a new vacuum?! ha
Stop spending the energy worrying about this! Buy the man the gift and cross him off the list of "to do's"
Happy Holidays!
You are just like me. I buy him a nice thing for his birthday and when Christmas comes along I invariably buy him another really cool tool he can't live without from Lowe's. Our debt is crazy, I'm tryng to pay it off but I know I can squeak one more $300 grill, lathe, drill, power washer, etc into his gift pile.
So what do we do? Our men buy us wonderful shinies that cost a mint and we want to reciprocate.
So we skimp on other things. We buy generic foods and drive klunkers. We never walk into Abercrombie and Fitch but instead go to Sears and Penney's, Walmart and Target and only buy clothes on sale.
By the gift. Then buy him Christmas. Work on a budget if you can and try to reign in the spending.
Our kids know when we are pinching pennies---no m&m's for mommy.
Buy him the BBQ! Get him something little at Christmas time, like some BBQ seasonings, sauces, tools, apron etc so he has something to open. A grill is something that gives to the whole family!!!!
I would get him the BBQ. It's a one time expenditure. The whole family will benefit from it. It will last for years.
I would get it from him and get back on track next month with paying your debt down. You'll be glad you got it for him.
Well my first thought was to pay off the debt. BUT if you really think you'll spend a ton of money in other places then it's certainly not worth that and you should just get the BBQ. I know it's his birthday and you want it to be a surprise, but it sounds like you're trying to work together to get your finances in better order. If that's the case maybe you should just straight up talk to him about it. Make him a cake and get some cards for him to open tonight and talk it through. If you decide to do it you can go and buy it together tonight. If you guys really want to pay off debt and have agreed to do it, then you probably shouldn't buy it now or in December. But, as I said, you know yourself and I think if you're going to spend money you should certainly focus it in the right direction.
As far as Christmas, I would set a spending limit that the two of you have on each other. OR instead of buying each other a big gift do an activity together like a concert a mini vacation, etc. and just get each other a $20 or less gift to open on Christmas morning. I will admit, I get into that overspending mode too, especially at holidays, because i get caught up in the spirit of things. It's fun to do something special but if it will cost you more in the end, don't do it.
Pay off the debt and get him something much cheaper.
Silly girl! Just get the dumb bbq. You have been diligent and on top of it with your debt, just take the money this month and DO IT. Your husband deserves it and I totally get the gifts not measuring up thing. My husband does the same thing. Get the gift, spoil your hubby a bit and call it a day.
Good luck and happy b-day hubby!
you should buy it for him. make it b-day/xmas gift until you get out of debt. for now, let him have it (saves you from cooking too at least once a week. heck, that would be a treat for me :)
