Calling Dog Lover with Kids at Home

How about - instead of adopting a pet that you will not take with you when you leave - you and our son and husband become volunteers at the local animal shelter.

That way your family will learn to care for animals, learn compassion and empathy towards animals, and the animals and the shelter will benefit from the extra help.

Win-Win situation
No animals left behind when you leave.
No broken hearts.

Please do not get a dog if you are only going to be here three years. It's so unfair to the animal. Even if you get an older dog, you have no idea how long it's going to live. What if it's still alive when you need to move? Would you feel comfortable leaving a very elderly dog at the shelter? I have two dogs and yes, dogs are wonderful, but you don't seem to be at the right place in your life to take on such a huge responsibility and commitment.

We have a program here that uses foster homes to temporarily house dogs and cats until they can be placed permanently. Is there something like that where you live? You take in an animal for a week or a month, until they find the animal a home. This would give you a good idea of what works for your family, a network of help for you, and it's a great cause taking in homeless pets!

Here's one near you that specifically deals with Boston Terriers
www.azbtrescue.org

or just google
"foster homes to temporarily house dogs and cats Tempe, AZ"

Huge responsibility, so if you are wavering, or not sure, I'd wait. Dogs, are a 4 legged version of a child. They need alot from you and if you don't have it in you to give, then take your time in making this decision.
Dogs/pets are originally brought in for the kids, yet they end up being Mom & Dad's responsibility, sometimes, just mom's. So be prepared for that.

Dogs are an added expense, depending on his size, age. Food, Vet bills. Vets are just like pediatricians and charge the same if not more. You can get pet insurance, but that too is an added expense. The fact that you want the dog to travel 52 hrs, is another consideration. It may indeed die in traveling that long. It may also die once you get it there, depending on what country he is traveling to, based on any changes in diet, water and surroundings. Especially if it is an older dog.
From your post, you should wait for a variety of reasons, starting with the age of your child, he is too young and because you have never had a dog. You need to do your research before making this commitment. Go on the computer and research "child friendly dog breeds" and learn all you can before you take on the responsibility you may not truly be prepared for.
Also, why can't you get a dog in your own country? Wouldn't that be easier?

A dog is a committment. A kid should have a dog. A dog is fun. A dog is a friend. A dog is always ready to play (or should be).

I've had a dog since 1957. They were all little dogs, except one that was the result of a fence jumper.

My current dog is a little dog. He weighs about 20 lbs and is about 12" high at the shoulder. He is a terrier mix and loves to play and is a great kids dog, or in my case, a great grandkids dog. I usually buy two bags of dogfood a year, about 30 to 40 lbs. Cost about $20-$30. Shots are about $20.

I'd recommend getting a dog from a shelter. Get him when he is about a year old. The shelter will allow you to take the dog to a room or play yard where you can see if he is compatible with your kids and your family.

All that being said, DON"T get a dog, if you are going back to your country without him. Its not fair to the dog. Its not fair to your children. They will wonder if you will abondon them if they become useless in your eyes or maybe too expensive in your opinion.

Good luck to you and yours.

If you only want a dog because of allergies, you should re-think this! Some people do well with dogs and don't have allergies, and others are totally miserable with the dog hair and dander! What type of allergies are you talking about? I think you need more information on this topic.

The breed of dog is important in terms of the age of children in the house, the family's lifestyle, and the expenses involved. You can look at a pure-breed dog (generally expensive) or a cross-breed (mutt). Some dogs are just not good with kids (such as Dalmations), and some dogs have been overbred and have health or personality problems. That's why a mutt can be a good fit. We've had both a purebreed and a mutt, and both have worked out great. Our son was 7 when we got the first dog. I'm not sure that 4 year olds understand that a dog is not a toy, it's a living thing that needs care and also doesn't always want to play or be bothered. Senior dogs can be very loving and grateful for a new home, but they don't always want to play actively. They can be lovely companions but if you don't want to deal with death, then think long and hard about this. Any pet will be one that does not outlive you, however.

And every child will tell you that he/she will walk and feed the dog. Do not believe this. No child will do this for more than the first week. It will be YOUR job, every day, morning noon and night, in rain and snow and sleet and burning sunshine!

Do not adopt any dog if you are not 100% convinced that you will NOT return it! That is absolutely unfair to a dog, especially one who has been given up before. It's not a dress that you return to a store. It's a living thing with feelings and confusion about where it's home is and where it fits in the family structure. You should go to a breeder or a shelter where the staff absolutely knows about the dog's history and temperament. And do not get a dog if you are hoping it will die before you return to your home country!

A small dog is not good with an active child, nor is a dog with fragile bones (so don't adopt a greyhound). However, a large dog will not manage well in a one-bedroom apartment. All dogs must be taken out at least 4 times a day (often more), and in all kinds of weather. If you have a 4 year old, that means you have to take your child with you because you cannot leave a 4 year old alone. So be prepared that when the dog has to go out, you have to get shoes and a coat on your kid too, and get everyone out the door before the dog pees or poops in the house! They also must be protected from extreme heat and extreme cold. They absolutely must be trained. Big dogs need to run a lot more, some more than others.

Your friend who adopted the dog who snapped may not have been well-trained herself in how to deal with an adopted dog moving into a new setting and not yet used to the new family. Dogs need to understand their place in the family, and to know that they are not in charge. But a dog adopted from a shelter must be dealt with in a special way during the adjustment period.

It's so hard to judge expenses - you must spay/neuter, you must vaccinate for rabies and other diseases (distemper, for example), you must license your dog with your town/city. They absolutely need annual visits, but just like people, some dogs get sick and need care in between annual physicals.

Food costs depend on the size of the dog - big dogs eat more. Little dogs tend to live longer, and so do animals who have been spayed or neutered. You need a leash, a collar, 2 bowls (water & food), appropriate toys, training treats, a brush, and probably a crate or at least a bed.

You can bathe a dog in the bathtub or take it to a groomer (could be in a pet store or a privately run grooming facility). Dogs don't need baths all the time and too much can really dry out their skin (so then you have to go to the vet to have them treated).

A good shelter will know the temperament as well as the medical/living background of the dog. A good shelter will have you fill out a lengthy application (ours was 5 pages) and ask you questions like: Where will your dog sleep? How will you train your dog? Has anyone in your family ever had a dog? Who is your vet? Who can we call for references? How much do you think it costs to support a dog for a year? What will you do with the dog if you move? What will you do with the dog if you go on vacation? What would cause you to return the dog to the shelter?

If you don't have the answers to these questions (and it doesn't sound like you do) I wouldn't adopt a dog. One thing you can do is volunteer at a shelter, help walk and feed the dogs, learn how to relate to them, and learn about training and personalities and breeds. You'll know soon enough whether you want to continue with the idea of adopting a dog. If you don't have time now to do that, then you don't have time to adopt one either.

From what you describe, if it were me, I would wait until you have returned to your country.

Unless you get a very small companion dog, a one-bedroom apartment may not be enough room for the dog to really stretch its legs and exercise. I have had friends who did make these conditions work, however, they chose a breed which didn't need to "work" (many dogs need to do what they were bred to do) AND those friends had no children, the dog was their 'kid', so they made sure the dog was walked several times a day AND went out for runs/walks at least twice a day or more. (Did I mention that this couple also worked at home?)

I'm also going to just say this, and it's not pretty but here it is: animals cost a lot of money. We have a cat who is ailing; he was ailing when we got him and we spent about $4,000 on keeping him alive (we felt he had a chance to pull through and live well-- we were right). Now, in his older years, we're spending money trying to help him stay healthy. So far, it's been $600 in the last two months. We just dropped him off at the vet this morning because he's constipated due to meds and so we expect it will be another few hundred more by the end of the day. AND we are seeking some palliative care options through another vet on Saturday, because we want to ensure that his remaining time with us is comfortable, so that will be another $150 at least for that visit. Having a senior pet, and caring for it well, can come with a pretty big price tag. We love our cat, we do have a child to dote on too... we just feel the weight of the responsibility we have before us. That said, we also realize that we can't go on like this, and the whole process of allowing an animal to decline is a whole other hard bridge to cross and a sore burden on my heart.

Senior pets can be a lot of work, too. They lose control of their bladder and bowels sometimes, or get sick. (I have cleaned up more cat puke than I ever thought possible in the last few months.) You have to have a lot of compassion not to get angry with a pet when they lose control of these functions.

Wait until you have moved, until your son is old enough to enjoy and care for a pet in the best ways, and start out with a younger pet that can play with him.

Children and pets are a wonderful combination -- when it's done right. It teaches children empathy and kindness better than almost anything out there. However, the dog must be the right size and temperment for your child and the rest of the family. Apartment living is also not ideal for every dog. Please call or go to a shelter and TALK to the director before you do anything.

From your post, though I feel I should caution you. Please, do not adopt a dog. You're leaving the country in a few years and there is no guarantee your dog will adhere to your schedule. He might outlive YOU for all you know.

If you feel you must have canine companionship for your child, FOSTER a dog. When shelters don't have enough room, foster dog moms and dads can pick up the slack. Keep in mind, if the dog you are fostering gets adopted, it would be very hard to let him (or her) go. And hard for your child. But at least you can know you are helping a pup in need and doing your best to teach your child to be a loving human.

Good luck

Have you thought about fostering a pet? Shelters have so many animals that they cannot keep them all. Many find foster homes. The shelter covers all vet care for the animal. You just provide food and love until they have their forever home. The con for this is that you fall in love with the animal and are sad when it leaves your home. This is something I plan to look into when we finally buy our single family home (right now we own and live in a 2 flat). When you go back home, the shelter will find a new foster family. Contact shelters in your area if this is something you might want to do. They can come and evaluate your home to see if it would be a good fit and help get the right pet.

how long before you return to your country? That would make a huge difference in your decision. To me the way it sounds it will be with in the next couple of years ( that is my take on it)

Just remember just because a dogs life expectancy says "10-12 years" or what ever it can always go longer. Do you really want to have to send it somewhere else because its time to move back and your pet is still healthy because it out lived what it was suppose to? Animals are like humans... we have an average life span, but some go longer and sadly some go sooner than that average. Our husky just passed away in July, 3 years older than "life expectancy".

Personally I would wait until you are back in your home country. You don't want to have a dog for only a couple of years and have it pass away at the age that your child is really starting understand the full affects of death. I think that would hard for your son. I would be afraid that when he looks back at his first memory of having a pet he wouldn't remember the good years he spend with it because he was too young to remember.. but the only memory of it was its death.

I hope you don't think I'm coming down on you.. because that isn't my intention! I just wanted to make sure you think of everything ( in case you haven't already) and be able to prepare for the what if's also.

Otherwise the age of 4 is a fine age to start learning how to interact with a pet. My youngest are 3 and 4 and they have always been around dogs, our 1 yr old Collie is my 5 yr olds best friend :)

Our children are ages 7 and 10. We've always had a dog, and for the last several years we also foster dogs (one at a time) for a local rescue group.

First, I would ask you not to adopt a dog if you can't commit to keep him forever. Even if you get a senior dog, it may live longer than you expect. And to give up an elderly dog after it becomes a part of your family is cruel.
Wait until you're settled and can commit to him for his lifetime.

Second, I have a bias toward rescue mutts. If you work with a good rescue group, they usually understand the dog's personality well and can help you find one that fits well with your family.

Food and vet bills can get expensive. Make sure you understand that going into it. Professional grooming is not necessary. You can bathe your dog at home. But grooming can run $10-50 per time. Adoption fees can be lower from shelters (under $100) to a few hundred from rescue groups. Breeders will cost you more.

A four year old can learn to be a good pet owner. But you should do your research so you can teach him properly. He should only pet the dog gently, with an open hand. And he should never pet strange dogs without asking permission from the owner first.

Please feel free to message me with any questions!
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Edit: I still think you should not adopt yet. But I love the others' idea of volunteering to help at a shelter or fostering. Fostering is very rewarding. Find a group (shelter or rescue) that is willing to find dogs that are good for an apartment with a young child. Yes, giving up the dog can be sad, but it is so rewarding knowing you have helped to save the life of a great dog, and matched it with a loving family. And then when you're ready for your forever family dog, you'll have more experience to choose the right pooch.

I would wait until your child is older and is able to understand more about the care of animals etc. I would also go to a pet store/library and get some books on dog care. Good luck!

so you are wanting a 9 year old golden retriever????? First old dogs are not fun for kids they just lay there while kiddo wants to play. The kids will climb, poke and just annoy the older dog. Unless this dog grew up with your children and love them back dont get an old dog. I wouldnt get a dog at all at this point.

We have 2 larger dogs - husky mixes. They are elderly now, but they have always been wonderful pets. They both have dog beds they sleep on and their own bowls for food and water (elevated bowls which helps if you have a big dog...when they get older they can get back issues). We buy Iams dog food which is about $40 for a large bag. It lasts over a month - I never really noticed how long it lasts. Both dogs have been healthy their whole lives and have only needed rabies shots and occasional check ups. Now that they are older they have become more expensive (vet bills). One dog recently has to take glucosamine daily for his back and a pain killer for something he has wrong with this throat. These are both about $30 a month. One dog just needed to get a lump removed (almost $300). So, keep this in mind if you get a senior dog. We don't need to bath them unless they get smelly and they don't ever get smelly unless they roll in something stinky. I think it depends on the breed - Alaskan huskies (mutts) just don't get stinky. They do need to be brushed often. I just bathe them myself if they need it so I have no idea how much it costs. It is easy to do. Our kids are 8 and 3 years old and they both love the dogs and treat them well. The 8 year old is just old enough to walk them...but he doesn't not have the best judgment. He will let the dog lead him instead of being the "boss" when going for a walk. Basically, all the dog care falls to me. We believe in doing many dog obedience classes with our dogs....especially when they are young. I HIGHLY recommend it. Also, the secret to a well behaved dog is exercise EVERY single day. We walk our dogs or take them for a runon nearby trails almost daily. We also take them places on leashes and for car rides. They used to even go to work with me...and sleep under my desk. They are VERY well behaved bc they get so much attention and exercise. If you do not have time to give your dog exercise daily then be prepared to have them misbehave. As for breed - we just go to the pound for an unwanted dog. We spend a lot of time with them playing and walking them before we decide to adopt so we can see what their personalities are like. Go for "mellow".

We have a BUNCH of allergies in our family and we very carefully chose a low-allergy, small dog.

In spite of close to a year of searching and due diligence, we still reacted to her when we first got her! I have had to do alot of extra non-tradtional health care for us to tolerate her - luckily we are OK now - we love her so much!

If I were in your shoes I would not get a dog. Your son is plenty young to wait until you go back to your home country. Many peds will tell you to wait until he is 5 years old anyway.

Dogs are alot of expense, grief and worry. They are also a great joy if you're lucky. I'm amazed at how attached I am to my little "girl." But it really is like having another child. And your heart aches if they're sick, distressed, etc. She loves me unconditionally, though, and that makes it so rewarding.

I did like the fostering idea that another mom mentioned.

Good luck and hope it goes well whatever you decide.

If you find a good shelter,they will do their best to match you with the perfect dog. The food, bathing and the rest depend on the breed of the dog and it's size. Some dogs need hair clipping and grooming but others can be bathed at home. The age of the dog should depend on how your son will behave around him. It would not be fair to get a senior dog that could be dealing with some health issues, such as arthritis, and have a young child that may be all over him. If your child is calm it would be wonderful to give a senior a comfy forever home. And you are right not to get a dog with the intention of sending him back to a shelter. How long do you plan to stay in the country?

As far as caring for the dog no matter what the age of the child the most responsibility always seems to come back to mom! If your child is young it will be a good chance to teach him how to treat an animal.

I would wait because your leaving in a few years and if you have to leave the dog behind its heartbreaking to a child. And you live in a small apartment so unless you get an old or tiny dog(which are not fun for small children) it can ruin your apartment.