Camp for Grandaughter

It sounds like he is jealous of the attention you are paying to others. Tell him that just because you show love to others doesn't mean that you don't love him. Tell him that you have been good to his family, and that he needs to let go of the jealousy.

I would not talk so much about what you do for them, since he doesn't like it. Just enjoy what you are doing, but don't go overboard. Maybe he is worried about the money and retirement.

Big costs like camp, however, are something that perhaps you need to mention to him so that you are both making a decision. Look at it from the other side - if he spent that much money on anything, wouldn't you want him to talk about it with you first?

Anyway, you can show love without spending a lot of money. Maybe THAT'S what is really bothering him.

Good luck,
Dawn

I think by reading your post, which was a little disjointed that this is what is really happening (forgive me if I misread)...your daughter-in-law is a loser who has a great daughter who loves you & her mother & is a great kid...your husband always has (and more than likely always will-you just can't change that :( ) made excuses for her behavior...your husband is hurt that you aren't sharing plans you made with your grandaughter & money you spent without consulting him...if this is correct, then tell him that you are sorry you didn't tell him, but that you thought he would already know since this is something you do every summer for your (and HIS) grangirl, tell him, 'you know how hard she works keeping up her grades & being responsible throughout the school year'...don't do this in anger because then the resentment builds towards the one person who does NOT deserve it, who is blameless in the situation, the grandaughter...then smile & start packing her things & get her on her way to camp! Maybe your husband would like to be invited to take her with you to the camp for the drop off & pick up (?) that way he would feel as if he were a part of the decision.

Happy summer to you & your wonderful grandaughter!

I got lost reading all your information...did you have a question because I couldn't figure out what it was.

What part bothers him - that you do something for your granddaughter, that he feels you do more for her than for his daughter, that you didn't tell him you were going to do this for your granddaughter or that everyone knows it only comes from you and not the two of you? If you are able to determine which part of this is upsetting him, you will be able to respond better.

Maybe he feels like his daughter doesn't get as much as your granddaughter, maybe he didn't realize you were doing this at all and feels as though you were making decisions without him. Possibly his pride is hurt because it's your (not his) money and not "our" (both of you) money.

Try to get at the heart of what's bothering him. This will be very good for the two of you long term.

I'd tell him that your sorry if he was offended. You were not trying to keei anything from him. I'd say My granddaughter hs been such a help to me and really has helped me collect some of this money. It just would not be right for me not to reward her this way. Then let it go and do not keep bringing it up If he does say honey I'm sorry I'm doing what I feel is right in God's eyes I'm sorry if you do not see it my way. Kiss him on the cheek and walk away. All you can do.