Hi moms, we recently moved from Ohio to Alaska. We have a 4 year old daughter. My husband and I love it here. He loves his job and I have made a lot of good friends already. Its simply beautiful here and we are very happy. But my daughter is having a harder time than I expected. She has always been very outgoing, very energetic and the life of the party. Since we moved (about a month ago) she has been sad. She is always tired and just wants to lay on the floor and watch tv all day. She doesn't want to go to preschool. This morning I had to drag her out the door to go. Once there, I asked the teacher how she has been doing. She said my daughter doesn't want to be involved in the group and will say she is too tired to do an activity. And she has occasionally been defiant with them. This is not my daughter at all! She loved her previous school (in Ohio) and would never have acted that way there. I know it was a big move and I try to talk to her about it all the time. She just says she wants to go home to her old house. It is breaking my heart. I feel like she is depressed. Also, she wants NOTHING to do with her dad since the move. If my husband tries to do anything with her (brush her teeth, make her food, pick her up) she pushes him away and says "I don't like you, I don't want you". She NEVER did this before. I think maybe she blames him for the move. I don't know what to do. She is my world and I feel horrible! We are happy here, but she is not. What should I do? Find her a child therapist? Just give it time? Thanks in advance.
Yes, she could be depressed.
And homesick.
And sad about it all.
She seems to think that the move was because of Daddy's decision.
She is young, they don't think or feel, like adults do. And they do not have coping skills. Keep that in mind.
Don't scold her for it.
She is having a hard time.
Poor thing.
Take her to the Pediatrician.
Yes, a 4 year old can be depressed. I would start by taking her to her pediatrician.
Oh how sad. Before going the therapist route, I suggest doing activities with her that you know she will love. Maybe take a break from preschool so that she has loads of Mommy-time and together go to the petting zoo (if she loves animals) or whatever she is into. Keep her busy and engaged!
To me, at hard times, very young children do best with those they love and love them back.
Also, with the holidays coming up it's a great chance to recreate traditions you used to do in Ohio, like going to the pumpkin patch, visiting Santa, decorating the house, ect...
Aww, I feel sad for her! Sounds like she is having a really hard time adjusting. I would def take her to the pediatrician just to rule out any health issues that could be causing her to be so tired and speak to them about how to handle. I would also speak to her preschool. Perhaps between the doctor and the school they can get you in touch with some additional resources.
Also, talk with her about it as much as you can. Ask her what she misses most about her old house? Her friends? Her room? Maybe you can redecorate her new room together. Either something new she can pick out on her own, or try to make it look more similar to her old room if that is what she wants. Or maybe you can help her put together a scrap book of what she misses most. Be sure to leave extra pages for all her new friends and new fun that she will have in Alaska. Talk with her and acknowlege her feelings, whatever they might be.
Is she sleeping OK since the move? I know there is a time difference as well as difference in how much natural light... that could have her sleep patterns off. Worth thinking about or bring up to the pediatrician if you notice anything different.
Plan some fun new stuff for you 3 to all do together as often as possible. And def some 1x1 time with Dad.
Also maybe she is struggling with new routine? Can you make it more consistant to her old routine?
Time will help I am sure, but my heart really goes out to you. My 4 yr old boy is my heart and soul and I am sad for you momma b/c I know how much this must worry you. Hugs.
Definitely take her to your doctor first. We moved cross-country recently from North Carolina to Washington state. I was feeling very depressed here, sluggish, and uninterested in things. It turned out I had a severe vitamin D deficiency from lack of sunlight. I understand that this can be a problem in Alaska as well depending on where you are. I'd heard of this before we moved but didn't take it seriously. So talk to your doctor and have her tested.
