Can I Bring My 13 Month Old to the Hospital While Giving Birth?

Updated on November 23, 2009
J.W. asks from Phoenix, AZ
24 answers

I am due to have my baby at the end of January. I have no family on my husbands side or mine that I would trust to watch my 13 month old while I am in labor or staying the night. I do trust my 16 year old stepson who lives with us but think it would be too much to leave him to babysit her all night by himself. My question is: Can she come to the hospital with us during labor and delivery and would she be able to stay the night along with my husband? Otherwise I think my husband is going to have to stay home with her. Any thought or suggestions? Has anyone else been in this situation?

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K.R.

answers from Phoenix on

they will NOT allow children under 12 in the hospital October-March due to RSV and flu season, period. It's actually been that way for years, when I had my almost 5 year old son it was that way and when he had to be readmitted for jaundice they had to swab him for RSV first even though he'd only been home 1 day (would have had to transfer us to PCH and be put in isolation). They don't want them to bring germs in or contract something from a patient, but they are especially vigilant about it when they will be around newborns.

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A.T.

answers from Phoenix on

I wouldn't take the baby to the hospital, too many germs out there right now and a lot of hospitals are very restrictive w/ children. I bet the 16 year old will be fine with the baby at home, that way the baby will have as much normalcy as possible. You can keep in touch by phone...he can either call the hospital if he needs anything, or you or hubby can call home. That's what I would do. Best wishes.

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T.S.

answers from Phoenix on

Personally, with all of the flu bugs and RSV around right now, I would keep any child as far away from a hospital as possible. Many hospitals right now are banning children under 12 to help prevent the spread of the flu.

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T.J.

answers from Flagstaff on

No, they won't allow your baby in even to see your newborn or you and it has been that way for years and years. We had the same issue (when I was going to have a baby and had to think about my 15 month old) and ended up having a home birth instead. We had my other two children in the living room with a friend to keep them entertained. It was sooooo much better than having to worry about my kids while I was in the hospital and the actual delivery went much better than my hospital delivery as well. Just keep your options open and check into birthing centers if you don't want a home birth so all of your family can be together and celebrate such an important event together instead of being separated because of the hospital's policy.

Good luck and enjoy your new bundle of love!

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J.K.

answers from Mansfield on

Ok- here is what I am thinking... while you are in labor and delivery you or your husband are going to be able to worry about what your 13 month old is doing. It would be way too hard even if she were allowed to be with you. I do not recommend that at all. My parents had my son when I delivered my daughter (he was almost 5) and when they called in the doctor my husband called them. My son was there right after we were all cleaned up to welcome his sister but I would not have wanted him (even at 5-who would sit and watch tv ok) there during any of that. I would make sure you have a couple back up plans for labor and delivery (what if your stepson is at school when you go into labor, etc.) as to where your daughter can go or who can come stay with her (even if it is 2AM when you have to leave for the hospital). Do you have close friends that would be willing to stay with her during that time or even spend the night if you really want your husband to stay at the hospital with you?
As for her staying the night you will have to check the hospital policy on that. But again I would not recommend it. You will be tired and will need to rest before you go home so you don't want to have to worry about trying to get her to sleep in a new place. Plus nurses come in and out of the room and would possibly wake her. I honestly didn't even want my husband to spend the night. I was tired, wanted to rest and not worry about my husband or other children, focusing on the new baby for all the time alone I could get.
However, the hospital policy I had was my children (who were 2 and 7 with my youngest) could stay as long as they wanted while I was recovering, my husband did take them home to go to bed but they were with me all day.
Hope this helps:)

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L.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Ask the hospital. They have pretty strict rules about that, especially during flu season. Definitely not heard of spending the night. My hubby came for a few hrs every day with my 3 year old, and they went home to sleep. Gave him time with the baby, and me time with the oldest. Worked out great. Good luck.

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M.B.

answers from Albuquerque on

Hi J.!!

Congrats on the new addition! I have three little ones all under the age of 5 so I can understand where you are coming from. I would ask your Dr. if your little one can be in the room. If it is ok just make sure you pack plenty of things for her to do. lots of toys, games and color books. They will probably not let her stay the night so your hubby will most likely have to go home with her. Also remember that there is the threat of swine flu and they may not let her in at all.

Good luck and I hope all works out for you!

M.

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J.F.

answers from Phoenix on

She won't be aloud in the hospital because of RSV season. My advice would be to have your 16 year old watch your 13 month old while you have the baby. Then, have Dad go home right after the birth to take over. If it's in the middle of the night, maybe a neighbor or friend can come over just to be a back-up to your 16 year old.

With my 4th baby, my husband left right after the birth and came back for a short visit but went home for the night. It worked out just fine. Actually, I was very comforted to know that he was with the kids and I was just fine at the hospital alone.

Best wishes!

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L.N.

answers from Flagstaff on

The only hospital I know of that will let kids under 12 into the maternity wing is Yavapai Regional up in Prescott. The hospital has a general policy of no visitors under 12, but for maternity, they will let siblings in. (I'm not sure if that's true during labor..maybe.) I'm going to be touring Gilbert Regional in a couple weeks (because I'll be a doula for a birth there in March), and the info they mailed to me said that their policy is absolutely no one under 12. (I heard the same for the Cottonwood hospital.)

If by some chance you can bring her (after you check with your hospital), a doula (labor support) would be a good idea. Then someone would be around to help you out, and the other person can help out your daughter. Also, a doula would be good if your husband ends up staying home with your daughter - then there will be someone with you at the hospital. I'm not charging for doula services while I'm working on my certification. I live up in the Prescott area but do travel down to the valley for doula services. (If you're interested send me a message.)

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C.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I'm not sure where you live - or what hospital you will be going to. I know that when I delivered my 2nd (my 1st was 26 months old at the time). I was told no siblings were to stay in the room with us during L&D and definitely not overnight. But - that was at a Level 3 hospital here in Phoenix, AZ. So - not sure if where you live if it's different. But - that would be a question to ask at the Hospital Orientation class. That's where most of the hospitals tell you about their policies on such things. Otherwise - call the hospital and ask the registration desk personnel. They'll be able to tell you.

Hope that helps.

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J.C.

answers from Chicago on

The hospital guidelines have changed with allowing little ones in the hospital due to the swine flu. Check with them regarding this. Even if they do let her, I would really consider not taking her to the hospital at all. My kids are 15 months apart & we didnt have much help either. So we got people to help during the 2 day hospital stay, but my husband had to go home in the early evening for dinner, bath & bed time. You still have some time to find someone to help you in your time of need. People are very understanding & helpful so just ask & I am sure someone would be willing to help. Congrats & best wishes.

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M.C.

answers from Albuquerque on

Since you just had a baby I am guessing that you remember how tiny the rooms are. i know for us, my man stayed the first night but since there was only a chair that made out into a sort of bed his back was killing him and he had to go home the next day. It was crowded with just him and I. if I was having another child I would not be able to bring my daughter with me. First off, they come in and check on you every few hours to make sure that you are healing properly and such. This would not be a good situation for a 13 month old. Secondly, I do not think that most hospitals would allow for more than just your hubby to stay with you. Ours said that the only person who could stay with me overnight was him (or whoever is wearing the braclet that allows you access to the nursery). First off, ask your doctor& the hospital. Secondly, have you considered a home birth so that you could still be at home with your family without having to worry about this situation or do you have a friend who could watch her while you are in the hospital?

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A.V.

answers from Phoenix on

I'm pretty sure that during the months of Oct-March, young healthy children are not allowed in certain areas of the hospital because of the flu and RSV risk. Check with your hospital policy first.
As far as whom to babysit your 13mo daughter...do you have any close friends that would be willing to watch your daughter at any time? Since you really don't know what time you will go into labor or how long you will be in labor, it might not be necessary to have your 16yr old son alone with her all night. If you really don't have anyone you trust, then maybe your husband will have to go home in the evening while you stay overnight in the hospital. Hopefully you will be feeling well enough to go home after one night and be in the comfort of your own home. Another way to not have to be worried who will babysit your daughter is to labor at home as long as possible before going into the hospital. That way, you can have your 16yr old kids take care of your little one while you labor in your own surroundings, close to the ones you love.
Whether you are in the hospital for a short time or longer than expected/wanted, do you have a strong village? Do you have people outside of your family that you can count on to help you and be there for you when needed? Even after you birth your baby you will need support and help while your husbands at work and older kids are at school or doing their own thing. It's important to your well being to have a good community of people that you trust and love.

PS. Have a family discussion about how your daughter can best be taken care of and how YOU can best be supported and taken care of so you can move through your labor with more peace and just concentrate on what you need to do. Not having to do this all on your own and letting your family take some responsibilty in the decision making will let everyone feel like they can contribute. I'm sure someone will come up with some great ideas!

Congratulations on the upcoming birth of your baby and best wishes for your journey.

A.
mom of 4. Married 15 years.
Birth and Parenting Mentor
www.birthingfromwithin.com

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M.P.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi J.,
Not sure where you are giving birth..but I would check with the hospital. I just gave birth on 9/22 and they wouldnt allow anyone under the age of 12 in the hospital..to vistit. This is due to the flu issues. I have 2 teenagers also...and they were able to come in..but I sent my husband home at night with them. I just know they are pretty strict these days. Oh I had my son at Mercy Gilbert.
M.

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K.M.

answers from Phoenix on

A friend of mine delivered in October, and they wouldn't let her 8 yr old son in to see the baby after she delivered because they weren't letting anyone under 12 in to the area because of flu season. He wasn't sick at all, so you'll want to call the hospital you are delivering at and find out for sure. That way you'll have time to figure out other solutions.

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D.M.

answers from Tucson on

This time of the year they do not allow kids in the hospital. It is RSV season and your child will not even be allowed in the room to visit with you and the new baby. Good luck!

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N.O.

answers from Phoenix on

You will have to wait and see but I know as of now they are letting no one under the age of 12 in patient care areas (including maternity wards) of the hospital currently due to the flu frenzy and fear. I am due anytime (official due date Nov 29th) and my 3 year old daughter will not be able to visit. Check your delivery hospital website and they should have information but most say through the flu season which is November-April. I was upset but we do not have a choice.

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A.H.

answers from Santa Fe on

Hi J.,
Well Congrats!! I have had a similar situation. I went into labor all of a sudden and did not even have a babysitter lined up. As it turned out family was there for us. Now with the H1N1 and Flu season here, they will not allow your daughter or anyone who is under the age of 14 years old to visit the patients in the hospital. There are also some hospitals where they don't let children under the age 14 or children who have recently been sick even visit the patients at all. I if it is possible consult your hospital first to see what there rules are. Second, think about whether it is possible for your son to watch your daughter at the hospital. if not I think that a babysitter might be also another route. Well I hope that these suggestions work for you, and good luck.

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J.J.

answers from Phoenix on

Due to the H1N1 and RSV, she will not be allowed in with you or your husband. If your 16 year old is responsible, I would think he would be able to handle it. Otherwise, do you have a close friend or neighbor who could help out ? When my neighbor went in to deliver, her child came to stay with us for the night. It was all planned out ahead of time. You still have time to figure it out. Congrats!

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J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

I think it might be too much for you and hubby even if it is allowed. You'd have two babies to care for. Are there any friends you could trust? Do you attend a church to where you could trust someone from church? I totally understand your delema and I would feel the same way as you. I hope you find something that would work for you. Congratulations on your new addition and your precious family!

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S.W.

answers from Phoenix on

I think that in the past a baby would have been able to come to the hospital. But now due to the H1N1 virus, i think visitors have to be 13 or older. What about your 16 year old daughter. If not, then definitely your 16 year old son. You would be surprised what those teenagers can do when they are asked to step up to the plate because they are "needed" he is truly needed, because your husband needs to be with you. Just let him start practicing now a little here and there. Or being more involved with the 13 month old so that he will feel very comfortable for the little time you are delivering. your husband won't be away too long, just long enough to see his child being born; which is very important. :) your step son can handle it.

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A.

answers from Albuquerque on

Just a plug for a homebirth. You can ALL be together, or at least in the same house and no one is exposed to all the scary germs people are mentioning here. You can then all go to sleep together in your own beds.

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D.H.

answers from Flagstaff on

Don't you have a friend that can come stay the night at your house with your 16 year old and baby? Otherwise, I don't think 16 is too young to take care of the baby over night, if it is only for that situation. I mean there are plenty of 16 year old dad's out there who have to take care of their baby or babies. If he needed something, he can always call your husband to come home, or call a friend of yours to come over if need be. Good luck with the new baby =)

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J.V.

answers from Phoenix on

No children under 14 are allowed to visit the hospital in the winter months usually Nov- May due to RSV and Flu. However this year it was earlier due to H1N1 and an early RSV season. This is for the safety of the new babies. I know it is hard but it is in the little one best interest. My first was a January baby and she got RSV- very scary stuff. You want to keep them protected as much as possible. Congrats and good luck.

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