Can I Pursue My Goal to Become a Pharmicist W/o Hurting My 8 Yr Old)?

Do it. I went back to school (I'm also a single mom) and I think she learned more about "homework" time. I would study before she woke up and for a bit before my classes after I sent her to school. I couldn't study at night with dinner etc to get going plus I was tired. Get a sitter, use the time to go to the library (away from home) for intense studying time. I met other mothers at school and sometimes we would trade with each other to sit with the kids.

Do it for you. Do it for her. She will see that you are strong and that she will also be strong and maybe even be able to help mom out more. Simple frozen prepared meals go a long way for saving time. Make a huge pan of lasagna, sauce, etc & freeze part. I cooked on sundays for the week. Tiring, yes, but more time at night with my child.

Good luck,
C.

Maybe some of the classes you can take through virtual college so that would mean less time apart. Also, when she does homework or is studying you can make it a quality time thing and study at the same time. Even though it might all be extremely tiring and studying late may be hard, if you don't want to cut into your together time you can also study after she goes to bed. There is no reason for you to feel guilty, you seem like a great mother and am sure will not hurt the relationship with your daughter regardless. She seems like a great kid and might actually find it kind of cool that you're back in school and that you guys can do homework together and stuff.

Dear S.,
I am an older mom.I was widowoed at the young age of 47,my son was 8 years old at the time.We were new in florida with no support system. I had already a Masters degree in Social Work,but took only part time jobs and did not pursue a certification.I do not have regrets. My son is now on a full scholarship at dartmouth college. how about starting small with 2 courses and see how it works. Its not only about your daughter.it is also about you enjoying life with her.Life always works the way it is suppose to work!It has worked for me!
Good luck to you,

M. Osserman,MSW

Hi S.,
I have a seven year old and I am currently getting my PharmD. I started the program when she was five and she is still a very happy child! I will say that the journey has been hard, but you learn to balance school, with home, kids, cleaning and all the other stuff life throws at you. Unlike you, me and my husband have no family or friends that help us with our daughter, so it has been quite hard because either he takes care of her, or I do...you on the other have family to help you out, so I can honestly say they will be of great help when you need time to study. My daugther sees me studying and she gets her books to study too, so this gives her a better appreciation for school.
All in all, I think you should definitely go for it, sometimes it gets hard but I look at me daughter and I immediately know to push myself so that I can finish my degree and provide a better future!

Dear -S.
When my younger son was 7 to 8 yrs. old, I went to study my BA in Education, so I am a teacher. During this period, fortunately my husband helped a lot. The first thing I did was to explain him what was I going to do and why, so he could understand why mom was not able to be with him during nights. He understood as well as your daughter will. Just ask her for support because your change will be for the best of both of you. The more important thing is keeping her informed about your goals and success, she will understand. Whenever you get home, let her know how much you appreciate her support and that what you are doing is for her best and sometime she will be able to do the same as you. Show her your grades, so she can see that momi can get great grades, too. I'm sure you will make it GREAT!

Can you continue your education online? That is what I did when I decided to get my BS in IT. I would mostly work at night when my daughter went to bed, and yes, I did have to go on very little sleep as I also worked full-time. I was a straight A student and I think doing so well actually helped my daughter. She saw how hard I worked at my grades and now she works just as hard at hers. I think it actually gave her a better appreciation for education.

You may also want to arrange play-dates for your daughter to allow you to do school work. My friends were very helpful in allowing my daughter to stay at their house and play with their kids for 3 or 4 hours so I could get school work done. My daughter would always ask me if I had school work so she could go to her friend's house. :-)

It WON'T be easy, but remember it is the quality time you spend with your daughter, not quantity. You will feel guilty and that is normal, but once you are done, you will fill so much more fulfilled and that will be reflected to your daughter as well as give her a great role model to look up to. Good luck.

First and foremost, you are an awesome mom! To take time out to give thought to how this next phase in your career will effect your daughter is evidence ofj ust how much you love and care for her.
I am the product of a single mom and I say : Go for it! My mother and I are extremely close and have been for my entire life (aside from some brief difficulty in my early twenties-she was right and I was wrong!) My mother and I graduated from college in the same year. During my childhood my mom worked two and somtimes three jobs to support our family (I have two younger brothers). I always knew I could reach out to her if i needed her-even when she was working or going to school.
Talk to your daughter about some of the changes she should expect with time constraints and trust that the bond you have built will only strengthen as she watches you dedicate yourself to something that will serve you both later in life. You can use this as an opportunity to teach her about sacrifice, dedication and commitment--all of which is to her benefit. Make sure you schedule special time with her to show her that she remins important-even when Mommy is busy! I will pray for you and your daughter--

The only thing that will determine whether or not you can do this without it having adverse effects on your daughter is your decision. If you decide to do it and you believe in your heart that it will only improve both of your lives, then it will. If you decide to do it, but constantly worry about the negative effects on her, that will become a self-fulfilling prophesy. It's all up to your attitude!
ALL THE BEST!

S.,
My immediate thought after reading your post is, "Hurting your daughter? You'll be giving her an awesome role model! How empowering!" I have memories of my Mom sitting in her bedroom studying for her university degree after years of being a SAHM. She graduated the year before I entered the same school.
It sounds like a great opportunity, especially since the cost of your education is being sponsored.
Best wishes,
T.

I do not have personal experience with this, but I would say that you should follow what you feel you need to do, just learn to make your time with your child count as much as possible. I had a friend whose dad happened to be a pharmacist and his parents were always gone and they had no relationship. But my husband's mom was a single mom who went to college and became a lab tech while he was growing up and he loves her very much and they have a good relationship. So I think it is just a matter of figuring out how to follow your dreams and give your child what they need too. Wish I could offer advice on that part of it.

S.,
We all need to follow our dreams and goals. If you’re not happy, your daughter won’t be happy either. My advice is “Go for it!”

You sound like you’re very sensible and responsible. My guess is, you already know the best answer that will work for you. And your daughter will grow up watching her terrific mom – What a great role model you’ll be for her.

S. i can't say i complete understand but I do know one thing...I am a mom who likes to work and with a 3 yr old and 11 month old i still work part time (massage therapist). If you two have a strong bond then i think the only person that can really give you a good answer is your daughter... communication and planning...taking the time to explain to that there will be nights you are both studying, she might thinks it cool...night where you might not get in till she is a sleep or whatever the case will be...Check to see when her brakes are and see if you can get an idea of your school calender...best of luck and this may instill some new traits in her eyes about how strong women can be...

S., good for you for wanting to continue your education and better yourself both for you and for your daughter. I'm also a single Mom in a similar situation. In my opinion, I think it's better to start now than to wait or worse not fullfill your goals. How much time will you be taking away from your daughter? I've found that children are resiliant. And they handle more than we give them credit for. My husband and I seperated when my daughter was 8. We made it and our bond is stronger than ever. Because of my job and some travel that came with advancement, we had a few stepping stones to get over. Mostly because of attachment issues. She had a hard time being away from me. But, in the end...it's forced her Dad to be there more and they have a closer relationship than they had prior to. My daughter still struggles when I travel from time to time but because I'm back before she knows it everything works out! Our bond is as strong as ever.(she's 12 now)

I think communicating with your daughter, being open and honest every step of the way is the key. At least it has been for me. Don't allow yourself to feel guilty about what you're doing now that will only enrich both of your lives later.

Good luck! You sound like an awesome mother who cares and that in itself is what counts. I'm sure you'll do whatever you have to balance both school, career and family time with your daughter!

Hi! I went through something like this years ago. I had two sons 9 and 2 months old, single mother, needed to get my life together because of money problems. So I got a degree, worked very hard at it. I managed to do both, studied and be a mother the best way I could, then work. I was there on time for cooking, help them with their homework, watch TV with them, read bedtime stories and more. They never resented me for doing what I did, as a matter of fact, they are both very, very proud of having me as their mother. I don't know what would have happened to us if I didn't do what I did back then. It's very hard to leave your kids to a babysitter or relative, but it pays off. Dont' feel guilty, you are doing this for them, to give them a better future. I managed to put my two sons through college with my hard earned money. They are two profesional people now. You are a lucky mom to have relatives around them who are willing to help you out with the kids, and as long as you know your daughter is in good hands, there shouldn't be a reason to go for it. You must take advantage of whatever nice things life has to offer and why not start now? Do it and good luck!

I'm in school as well finishing my degree ( BA ) . It's hard as it is with two boys ( 2 & 6 ) but I do have the support of my husband . I can't imagine how challenging it can be as a single mother . I don't have any help from anyone else because my parents passed away , and my mother-in-law is very old . On the plus side you have a very supporting family that are willing to help you out . Girls tend to be more mature than boys , I would sit down and talk to your dughter . Tell her how important it is for you to go to school .It will enhance both you and her, On the long run . Tell her you will be spending more time in school & studying . I don't think that bond that you share will diminished , you just need to communicate with her . It is not easy I know , but it will all be worth it . She will see you as a role model because in her mind she will see you working hard towards a degree , and if my mom can do it now , I definetly can do it . Take the step and do it especially with Baptist paying for your program. You will soon see that five years will fly so fast , Your daughter will be 13 and will be extremely proud of her mother . S. I wish the best of luck , Please keep us posted !!

GOOD LUCK !!!!!

~ A. Suarez

Why will fulfilling one of your goals harm your child? The same way you went to school before to do this job that you do not like is the same way you will do this new career change. You say that you have a great support system, use that. Many single mothers are not so fortunate. Make special dates with your daughter, when you only do things with her. Explain to her that you are going to school just like she does and that you are going to do it together. Keep the lines of communication open. Take one step at a time and everything will work itself out. This career change will not only help you financially but will help you be a better a more fulfilled person. There is nothing wrong in wanting better out of life and pursuing your goals. As long as you make sure that you and your daughter's relationship is kept in tact.

If you have a strong bond with your daughter, then she will understand the importance of the new direction you would like to go with your career. She is definitely old enough to understand. You need to sit down with her and have a good heart to heart talk and listen to her questions and concerns about this. Once you work through that, everything else will work out as well. A strong mother/daughter bond is not easily broken so you will be surprised by how she will show you support as long as you make sure that she knows she can come to you anytime if she needs.

S.,
It seems that you have a good support system in place for you and your daughter. I just started back to school myself and we just completed and adoption ofan 8 year old. Before I startd my classes I explained to her that I was doing this in order to make a better income and increase our quality of life as a family. She seems to understand and I think that I am giving a good example of how important a good education is today. In addition, I think that it is important for us a parents to fulfill our dreams as well and this will make us a model that we want our kids to look up to.
Just make a schedule that will include her always while affording you the time to tackle your studies.
I wish you good luck!
D. G.

I would sit down with her and talk to her about it. I mean she is 8 yrs old and can comprehend what is being said. Flat out tell her I want to go to school to get a better and more fulfilling job to better our future. That you still love her and she will always be # 1.

I agree. Continuing your education will affect the time that you share with your daughter, but you know what? she is old enough to understand that you are doing it for a better future for both. I can sympathise with what you are feeling, I pursued graduate school while my daughter was about your daughter's age and she did notice/complained that I was always working on projects during the weekends, which would be "our time." However, again, she was old enough to understand and absorb the importance of education, especially for her generation. My daughter has grown up and experienced (by seeing me) that without a proper education you can only go so far career-wise. If I were you I'd sit down with her and explain all the advantages of you going back to school. You will not regret and time flies! Before you know it you will be graduating.

Why should it hurt her? You said yourself that her extended family is Godsent. This is the time she will most benefit from it. She goes to school, so so you. She needs to do homework, so will you. Use your sameness as an advantage. It will be hard. But I believe this is the best time to do it. Good Luck and God Bless.

Absolutely yes, you can. It is not going to be easy, as I too went through my grad program with an 8 year old at the time. It does take a lot of discipline to manage not only your educational load but also being there for the child at the same time. It is even more difficult when the child is an only child and need you as their playmates/or need your attention while in the mist of doing homework. We are all concern of ouradolescent stage, but one thing we have to bare in mind as parents is, that if our children/child knows our expectations regardless of the peer pressure, and the caios they will make the right choice. We have to built trust and loyalty. Not only was I a single mom, my other concern was putting her in a safe environment. My daughter though 8 at the time was very understanding. The most amazing moment was not receiving and achieving my goal as a parent, professional, but looking in the audience as I walk the stage with my 8 years only cheering on for me. She spend all day in my CAP and Gown but that was ok as she earn too being patient withme.

S.:

Any life altering decision will have an impact on your life as well as your daughter's. How you manage the situation as you go through the change is what's important. When I went back to school I did my best to remind my daughter that although I was going to be very busy for a long time that I love her, will always be here for her and that one day I would be finished (as best as she could grasp at her age). I also did my best to spend time with her one on one as often as I could.

My mother went back to school when I was a teenager. Although I recall being very proud of her I remember missing her as well. In the end, my siblings and I survived unscathed...in fact, inspired. You may experience guilt to the degree that you may consider quitting. Don't give up.

It sounds like you have a wonderful support system to help you through the next few years. Think of how proud your daughter will be of you to know that her mom set her mind on something and successfully complete it. Moreover think of the feeling of knowing you completed and what that will do for the both of your lives...for the rest of your lives. Your daughter will look back on this when she too faces decisions that will impact her life.

It's been 2 years since I finished school. Although it was a challenging, I don't regret it. So, go for it! Good luck.

How much time will it take away from her?

My kids are younger, but I always remember my mom talking about the middle school years being so critical to keeping us (her 4 daughters) on the right path.

I think you are doing the right thing in weighing this decision out very carefully. I don't think that 8 -13 is an age where they can grasp that you are doing this for a better life, Life is day by day and week by week for them. I am not sure what the right answer is but if there is a way for you to better yourself with very minimal impact on her then you should do it. But if it means all of your nights and weekends then I would really spend some time thinking and praying on it.

S.,

My advice would be to pursue your career. Life is too short to not be doing what you are passionate about. You love your daughter and that will never change. She is old enough for you to talk to about your future. Sit her down and explain to her that sometimes mommies have to go to school to learn just like she is going to school to learn. Will she resent you? Only if you stop loving her and showing her love and affection will she resent you. The truth is, you will resent yourself for not pursuing your dreams while you have the opportunity to do so. Your daughter will grow up just fine and one day she will leave you to pursue her own dreams and by then you may not have the opportunity to have Baptist hospital pay for your education. Continue loving your daughter but make room for pursuing something that will make you happy as well.