Can I Use Your Phone?

I'm sorry, but I think he's just been busted....and it's astonishing that NEITHER one of you are willing to acknowledge it.

:(

I don't buy it, sorry to say. Why wouldn't he just tell the person that they have the wrong number & move on. Why in the hell would he egg them on? I call b.s.

You should've waited to see what else happened, instead of automatically freaking out. Now he's just going to be more careful

Ohkaaaayyyyy...

I have heard of borrowing a phone for an actual phone call. But who sends dirty texts from someone else's phone??

If you know the other guy, does that seem like a thing he would do? I definitely know one of my husbands friends would do something dumb and inconsiderate like that. But my husband doesn't let people on his phone.

I say believe him, but ask out of respect for you, that he might change his number, and not let people use his phone for texting.

Are you the person who holds the plan or is it him. If you are get your phone company to give you a transcript of all texts for this line and all numbers dialed and received and the times set those times against when it was and where he was supposed to be. Check your accounts like debit and credit and even checking for odd transactions. Track him like a private investigator without showing anymore concern to him for several weeks. This way if he is in the right only you will know what was done...if something seems fishy then approach him in a private non threatening way to see if he gives you what the whole picture is. For those who say you should trust him and let this go, it is already been proven that there is a trust issue so time to find out the actual answer. I have always told my husband even before we got married that if he wanted to be with someone else that is fine at least still have enough respect for me to tell me and then go, not hide it and make me wonder.

i say listen to your gut!!!!!!!!!!!! i tthink you are right on but did you call the number from a different number? if i were you i would text that number and pretend you are (mike) to see if there is a response or if you really want pretend to be your husband. just a thought

Ok, wait...
So your husband gets explicit texts from an unknown female, who is presumably a friend of someone who used his phone.
And in order to get her to stop texting him, he replies back in explicit text messages?
I am sorry but does he think you are stupid?

I mean think about what you would do if someone sent you dirty texts... I think three options: a. you text back that they have the wrong number and to please stop sending them b. you call the number and tell them they are texting to the wrong # or c. you block the # the texts are coming from.

The one thing you DO NOT DO is text back " send my a pic of your #%€£ !" - because that would only make that person assume that you are interested in having this dirty text conversation, right!?

So either your DH is an idiot, or he is lying to you. You know him best, take your pick.

The definition of 'cheating' covers a VAST amount of areas, and explicit text messages from another woman... is cheating! IMO. I would suggest he change his cell number and if the messages come back, there's your answer.
And, IMO, EVERYONE has a cell phone, so I don't buy it that his is being 'borrowed'.
Good Luck.

Ugh. While he may not be cheating on you--I find this odd, don't you?

who borrows phones anymore? It seems like even those who have no money consider a cell phone a necessity. If someone is borrowing a phone, it is either an emergency or knowingly letting someone do something they would get caught with on their own phone...

Honey, I'm so sorry. He is not being honest with you and he is cheating. There is no way he let another man use his phone to text that stuff. No way. Cheaters ALWAYS get caught. You need to have an honest discussion and therapy with him...or this will NEVER change. I'm so sorry :(.

I wouldn't buy it . . . and I would be investigating everything at this point (without tipping him off). I like Barb's suggestions below.

Hopefully he's telling the truth but now that I have cause to question whether that's the case I'm going to find out.

You are not over reacting. Honestly, if it were true, wouldn't he openly tell you when it happened? From someone open and honest, I would expect to hear, "Hey your NOT going to believe what a-hole Mike did on my phone today!"
I hate throw out counseling, but it would be hard to get past this one without it.
Good luck. From experience, you can get through this type of thing, but it takes a lot of work from both of you.

Lizbeth:

I'm sorry - he's cheating. He may not have had sex with this W. but he's cheating.

Tell your husband to come clean and now. Saying sorry isn't going to cut it. Come clean and tell the truth. I wouldn't be buying that line.

In this day and age? No, my friends don't borrow my phone and send explicit texts unless they are trying to hide something from their partner or spouse...and no matter how much I might or might not like the spouse - I would NOT allow it - not with my phone. Go get a cash only phone.

If a man was texting me pics of his "junk" (to keep it clean), I would be saying WHO THE HELL IS THIS? or even when can I see you again? Seriously? No freaking way.

I just read this post to my husband - his response? Guilty until proven innocent - as usual.

In other words, he wants you to give him the benefit of the doubt. But then again - his ex-wife didn't cheat on him....mine did!! Choice is only yours. To believe or not to believe...trust or not to trust...get to the bottom of it....satisfy your gut...

That's a really good excuse. My ex NEVER used that one. If he read this post, he might be slapping his forehead.

All I can say is BUSTED.

No. you are not over reacting. If you don't think he's cheating on you, sorry. You just gave him an out and an excuse. It's too late to call the # and ask who it is as I'm sure your husband has already called and said the cat is out of the bag.

You might talk to the dog who supposedly uses your husband's phone and ask if he knows the number? I wouldn't give it to him - I'd ask him to tell me the number he calls and texts for explicit pics...

Lizbeth. Sadly you know the answer to your own question. Your husband is a slick one, I'll give him credit for that. Give me a break. He is cheating. Who borrows someone else's cell phone and has sexual conversations with it? Nobody! Because they know it is not their phone. Don't be a fool. I am sorry but he is caught. Don't let him lie his way out of it.

I'd also be pissed, I'd also have called... but I would have left a message of some sort. Call again and leave a message.

Wait a couple days and call the number from another phone or from GMail on your computer.

I'm sorry but speaking from experience, I'm pretty sure he's cheating. My husband (soon to be x) and his lies and I believed them all. I wouldn't have believed he was cheating had "she" not told me (he wasn't going to).

There is no way, someone is going to borrow a phone to send texts like that back and forth.

souunds crappy. I'd call the number and find out what she says.

This does not sound good.
Maybe he's not physically cheating, but it sounds like something is going on on an emotional level. Which is just as bad.
Try googling the number or her name.
Good luck.

I've been through a similar situation. It was definitely him, my husband tried to pull the same BS by blaming a friend. I kicked him out of the house but took him back too soon. You need to let him stew and figure out things. You also need to reevaluate your marriage. Maybe this was a one time deal, maybe this has been going on for years behind you back? Either way, he stepped on your trust and burned it alive and he needs to fix it.

You are strong and you can do this.

why would others use his phone everyone has there own phone it could be someone he works with just monitor his phone and watch his behavior dont jump the gun

His friend would not need to use his phone to send sexts. His friend has his own phone, you only need to use someone else's for an emergency. You can stick your head in the sand and ignore the fact that your husband is having sexually explicit conversations with another woman, or see a lawyer to protect your assets and have him served.

I would call from a different phone. I am sorry, but this doesn't sound right to me.

I would ask him to show u the texts going back to when his friend used it and confirm that it goes along with his story. Did he write asking to see a picture if something or was that his friend and if it was him why would he ask that. This lady may have gotten ahold of his number because of his friend but if she's constantly tempting him into a conversation that isn't good being how weak minded men can be at times it's best to keep the temptation away and nip this in the bud I would call the women myself leave a message if you have to and tell her your calling the wrong person this is your husbands phone not Mikes. Good luck I hope it all works out.

Somethings up. When something seems weird it usually is. I think you should call a couples therapist and get an appointment. Find someone you like and go often. If the trust between you is disappearing you are on a bad road. Don't keep suffering. You deserve peace and happiness. Be strong. Good luck.
K

Sure his friend used his phone to send sexual text messages. I believe him. NOT! He's cheating! My daughter went thru the same thing with her husband. She believed him for a while. But not anymore. Not since she also found similar messages on his myspace and facebook! He is soon to be an EX.