Can Negative Remarks Towards Me as a Mother Affect My Recovery Time from PPD?

First of all, I am going to say this again to everyone is that you have to stop listening to your negative husbands and mothers and stomp your foot. You do not deserve this. Your pain is very real and their lack of support is not only not only adding to it, but making you less likely to get the specific help you need. There are a lot of conditions besides PPD that could have happened to you and that you have shown the courage to continue to go for assistance and help is amazing. Do not give up and be very specific in telling them that they are not helping. Continue to go for help. Get baby and go for very long walks, no matter what your shape or size you will feel good.It is quite possible you are lacking in vitamin D and maybe Iron. So step up the fruits and vegetables (I know, ick) and ask about cutting down the meds in half or a lower dose to wean off of them. You do not have the 'correct' cocktail so to speak and perhaps not even the proper diagnosis.
Join things, force yourself to even if you are socially anxious, so you have newness and friends who are supportive in your life, delight in your baby and not trying to break up a marriage here, but look at other men and delight in how wonderful it felt to be in love. ( I didnt say run off with one I said look). Look at them and enjoy the fact that you have a husband who at this point quite possibly feels a little powerless and out of control himself. And your mother, tell her she should know better. I have a hunch if she ever opened up that you would find out she suffered some from a similar condition herself. Good luck. WE know you are loveable, wonderful, adorable and a great mom. Ignore them and soar!!!

Hi A.,

I am bi-polar and I think the same "rules" for living with and communicating with someone with PPD are the same. Here is a website that outlines the list...print it out and give both your husband and your mother a copy to read. Maybe that will help. http://www.wingofmadness.com/Learn-More/42/worst-things-t....

By the way, if the medications you were on didn't work your doc should be trying something else. There is no one size fits all medication that works for everyone. It's a trial and error situation. Go back and ask to try something else. Also, your doctor may have a handout that gives guidelines to others on how to deal with someone with PPD. Ask and then get two copies.

I hope this helps, when I was first diagnosed as bi-polar my psychiatrist had us meet as a family (except for my son...who was too young at the time) and we went over my triggers, my symptoms so they could recognize them and get me in for help, and a list of things NOT to say. My husband and daughter loved the list and were a huge help in my recovery from the deepest depression I had ever been in (attempted suicide three times). I'm stable now, but it took time to find the right combination of medications to help me.

If they won't help you right now you must take the first step and help yourself...then motivate them into helping you also. It'll make for a much more peaceful situation. You can't just turn PPD on and off.

Blessings,
W.

PS If you are seeing your PCP for medication you need to make a change. A psychiatrist specializes in any type of depressions, including PPD, and can give you better help on your road to recovery. I found out the hard way...I was seeing my PCP and he had diagnosed me as depressed when I was actually bi-polar...and the treatment was vastly different. See a specialist, please.

I don't have any words of wisdom for you. I just wanted to let you know I am thinking about you and praying you will overcome this disorder as soon as possible. To not have the support of the 2 people in your life that mean the most must be crushing. Do you have anyone at all, family or friend, that you can talk to? If I lived near you I'd be more than happy to help you out.

Take care of yourself. I can see that you are a very strong woman and I know you will get through this.

Hugs,
J.

I have been in a similar situation, and thus am so so truly sorry you are going through this. you are an awesome and brave person for taking care of yourself, and you are a great momma for doing so. You are a stellar role model. Your child will learn from you when he/she gets older to take care of himself and to be kind to his/herself, and that no one is perfect.

I feel your pain about your husband and mother for not demonstrating (to say the least) more supportive behavior. Their comments are just wrong. Have you talked to your therapist about their comments? I am no expert, but there may be a connection between the fact that your mom can be critical and that you married a critical man...

May I humbly suggest you consider healing that part of you that would even believe that criticism. Know you are a strong, brave, wonderful woman, and what they are saying is just wrong. Be to yourself what you want from others: compassionate, forgiving, gentle. You are your own best friend and comfort. After that, you will know how to deal with the rest.

Focus on you and your baby now and ignore the critical comments.

Please keep us updated, as we all care about you.

Keep working on it as you are doing, tell yout therapist about the dysfunctional relationship you have with both of these people (which might explain your condition, by the way, so they are no innocent) and PRINT THIS SO THEY CAN READ IT. I would make a copy for each one of them and "casually" drop it where they can easily find it. SHAME ON THEM.

Hi Amymoe, I am sorry you are going through this. It is difficult to feel better, let alone having people comment about you.

I am certain they just don't know how to handle it and think they are just giving you the push you need.

You just have to remember, they really don't understand. They really don't know how to deal with it, and they certainly want you to get better.

Be sure to get plenty of sunshine and exercise.

C.

I do not want to be rude - but look in the mirror and ask yourself that question.
Tell mom to look into the mirror and say the same thing as if it was her mother saying that to her about her child!

God Bless

Negative remarks can absolutely affect your recovery time. When you are under any form of depression, it is vital to attempt to remain calm, sure, and try to maintain a positive outlook. Clinical depression such as PPD, maniac depression or bipolar, etc. is a psychological handicap that requires both physical and mental treatment. The physical can be anything from taking medication to doing something that you enjoy - riding a bike, reading a book, window shopping, etc. The mental treatment is the hardest part. You need to remind yourself daily that you are ok, things will get better, it is alright to be happy and love yourself.
Anyone that is making you feel bad about yourself will hinder that process. You or your therapist need to let those people know that when they say those particular comments to you, that it makes you feel depressed and anxious. You can not get better overnight and it will take a while for you to get better.
You also need to take charge of your depression. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are worth it, that you are a good mother, and that you can take care of your child.You need to take care of yourself and your child and the best way is to make sure that you feel comfortable, relaxed and believe in yourself. Find something that will bring you back your faith in your self and your own judgement. Good luck.

I feel so badly for you. I remember reading not too long ago about a new inpatient treatment program JUST for PDD. The article said it was the first of it's kind in the country, I think. I'm pretty sure it was in NC, and possibly at Duke? The program was mainly for people who were having trouble healing with other treatments, like it sounds you are. You might want to look into this if it sounds like something interesting to you. I pray you will feel better soon!

ummm, while I am no expert in PPD.. I can only speak from my own personal experience with it.. Mine lasted over a year.. at the time,I didn't really know that's what it was because initially I was under the impression that "baby blues" only lasted a few weeks after giving birth ..boy was I wrong.. Some of the things that got me out of my slump were.. exercising (even light walking) if you don't feel up to a rigorous workout.. by exercising, believe me, this will help somewhat. now, I know that when you are depressed, exercise is the last thing you want to do, right? but try it , even if just a little.. get a video you can do at home by yourself and see how that goes..
also... lack of essential vitamins and minerals can cause MAJOR depression... what are your eating habits like? again, if depressed, you might be drawn to eating too much of the wrong foods. I did that for awhile, then eventually.. incorporated better foods into my diet. It's easiest IF you don't cut out bad food perse but rather add more good foods. The idea being that gradually you'll have added so many good good that there won't be as much room for the bad.
Also and so importantly.. are there any support groups near you?? look online, see what you can find... it's so important NOT to isolate... women especially (and myself included) often will isolate when depressed... I feel it so necessary to get support... even if you have to force yourself.. as for your family.... I think they too need some therapy in order to understand that you ARENT making this up.......... people (not all) but some really don't understand that mental illness isn't all in ones head... so to speak..

Now, while my PPD did finally go away, I still had some anxiety issues left over. Again, from what I read, anxiety can be caused in part to a nutritional imbalance and sadly, sometimes the meds they give people can deplete ones vitamin and minerals supply even further.. Also, it's been my experience that panic/anxiety attacks can only worsen IF each time you have one, you don't try and get control of it.. For example, when you feel one coming on, it's at that moment, try taking some slow deep breaths, now I know that sounds cliche'.... BUT it does help.. get your breathing under control and it will help regulate your heartrate so that it doesn't begin racing as much and hence cause your anxiety to rise even further.. .it all sounds so simple like yeah right, eat an apple, take a deep breath.. and while it is simple, it also is not.. it's not because the mind is a powerful thing... it will talk you out of such things. but don't let it.. at least try it.. a few times a day, sit down.... close your eyes, allow yourself to relax.. breath... now, while you are doing it.. your body may begin to feel all anxious, but don't let it take over.. let your breathing take over.. try this a little each day. and see if it works..
also.. for the heck of it.. just add a simple mixed green salad to your meal plan.. see if by adding something full of vitamins, begins to help .. these are baby steps, but they could work...
best of luck to you... :) you'll be in my prayers..

I too suffer from depression & my husband uses abusive language towards me I'am personally to the point well I gave up thats it
He see's it as just words I don't when your yelling & cussing in my face that is being abusive just beacuse it's not physical.I have't worn my wedding in a yr I put it away.If only I can find some way to fully recover from depression but can"t it's like diabetes hang in there your doing what you can.I take care of all 3 of my kids they come 1st not me

You have to get yourself & hopefully your husband into counseling asap. Hopefully the counselor will help you deal with your Mom. I had my daughter when I was almost 38. I had a long drawn out post partum that I think was prolonged because I was in a bad marriage & my age. I also took anti-depressants & they didn't work very well. I went to GNC & started taking the womens menopause pack, because it had everything that my Dr. told me I needed to be taking (1000mg calcium, omega 3 fish oil, black cohosh for pms). I now also take Sam-E which is for mood control. It took several weeks before I noticed a difference in the way that I felt. Now the supplements will only help you with the physical aspect, for the emotional part you definitely need to go to counseling. Even if your husband won't go, go by yourself. It will help you learn how to deal with emotionally & verbally abusive personalities. Get yourself better! You deserve it & your daughter deserves to have the best Mommy you can be. You can't continue on the path that you are going. This won't be easy, but you can do it. Muster up all the strength that you have, call on God for help & your prayers will be answered. Tell yourself all the good things that you know about yourself. Don't listen to the bad things that people are telling you. Prove them wrong. Stand up & fight for your well being. Remember who you were before. You can do this! All the Mama's on her are rooting for you! You aren't the only one to go through something like this, that is why it is so good that you are reaching out. Stay strong!

Good luck & God Bless!

Wow - your pain really jumps off the page. I had PPD which resolved without significant intervention, but I can't imagine how much worse it would have been without support from my family and husband. Not knowing your circumstances, it is difficult to offer advice, but it seems to me that a professional therapist or physician needs to speak with both your husband and your mother about their negative comments and failure to support you. PPD is a medical problem, just like any other disease - but because people don't look "sick" and pregnancy is supposed to be a "happy" thing, people don't get it at all. Clearly they need to be enlightened by someone who can explain this to them. It just sounds like they are not informed and want your problem to be "over" because it is inconvenient for them - a little selfish too, huh? As for stopping your medicine, I would discuss this plan with a qualified physician before doing that - your body has become used to it over time and stopping cold turkey could have unintended consequences - things could become worse. There are so many meds out there nowadays, there just has to be something or a combination out there for you, even if others have failed. I also wish to offer you encouragement - PPD is a real thing, you are not the only one and you are going through something that is incredibly difficult, especially when you are expected to be the new perfect mom with little sleep and the stress of taking care of another human being - I get it and lots of other women do too. Try to focus on what is working for you, some of the more positive things in your life and reward yourself daily for taking one more step forward in your recovery. A little bit of exercise/walking might help as well -- helps to clear the mind and get your blood pumping just a little. Please keep everyone on the board updated - you WILL get through this.

Um, yes. PPD is a form of depression caused by hormones. Like any kind of depression, it is made worse by stress, and can be helped with medicine, counseling, and a support group. You need these things to recover. Medication alone WILL NOT DO IT if you are constantly stressed or if your support group has turned on you. Please do not allow your mother and husband to treat you this way. The PPD could become clinical depression, which can be longer-lasting and much harder to treat. Recovery is slim while these other elements control your life. Please take control again by getting out of a toxic environment. Good luck.