Can You over Feed a 1 Year Old?

Updated on June 16, 2009
M.V. asks from Cliffside Park, NJ
16 answers

I have a very healthy 1 year old boy that is a FANTASTIC eater...he eats EVERYTHING. He's in the 35th percentile for weight and the 80th percentile for height..so he's long and thin. We live above my parents who CONSTANTLY want to feed my son. He usually goes down to play with them after his lunch and after his dinner. He spends about an hour with them each time. Everytime I go down to check on him, they are ALWAYS feeding him something. I've managed to restrict them from feeding him sweets of any kind, but I'm afraid they are over feeding him. I've also tried letting them feed him his lunch...just to get it out of their systems, but even after his meals, they chase him around the house with more food. My questions are:
1. is it possible to over feed a 1 year old child
2. will this impact his portion control or relationship with food in the future

I've had talks with them constantly but they just don't seem to listen. I'm getting to a point where i"m going to restrict their play time...but need the time to get some work done for my work from home job. I'd love to hear any input you might have.
Thanks!

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So What Happened?

Thanks to all that have responded. To answer some of the questions...my parents are feeding him only food...good healthy food. Just in massive portions....when I say massive, I mean the portion is bigger than the width of my son's torso!!! And they will chase him around the house until he finishes the whole plate. It is actually sometimes more than my portions. I do think it's too much...even though his mouth keeps opening every time they go at him with a spoonful. But, when I feed him and he loses interest I stop..which is at about a third of the portion my parents feed him. He is never crying of hunger OR looking for more food. So I do think they are stretching out his stomach and ruining our family meals together cause he so full and not hungry at our meal times. I've talked to them AGAIN..and now do not leave them alone with him (as I've caught my mother sneak food into his mouth, ugh nightmare). They are realizing the change and continuously promise to stop over feeding. They are going to have to earn our trust, so for now, grandma and grandpa are in a time out!! Thanks again for all the support and information!

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N.H.

answers from New York on

Hi M.,
You cannot over feed a 1 year old child. They will stop eating when they are full, and you really cannot force feed them when they are not hungry.
How long has this been going on? if only for a week or two, and he is eating what his grandparents give him, it may be a growing stage and he's legitimately hungry. 35% for weight is not much at all, and I'm sure with the bit your parents are feeding him probably wont raise that too much, not when he's working it off with running and being active.
I would definitely keep up with the sweets restriction. You dont want him to take on bad habits.
Do Not take away his time with his grandparents. He needs them! And you will only cause problems between you and your parents.
I would, however, let you parents know that if he is not accepting the food they are offering, do not force him. But, maybe they are making a game out of it?? And it is something that grandparents sometimes do to make themselves feel important!!
As for problems with food when he gets older, remember, your child's eating patterns only change when you change them. Keep good eating habits with healthy foods and snacks. Let him eat when he's hungry (at mealtimes, of course, with small snacks in between). If he is really hungry at snack time, and he eats all of his bigger meals, you can increase his snacks. Its when they dont eat the meals that you have to cut back on the snacks.
Don't worry. You cannot overfeed a toddler, they wont let you!!
Good luck.

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A.S.

answers from New York on

Yes and yes! Can you sit down with them when your son is not with you so they are not distracted and really talk to them. Does obesity run in your family? If it does, raise this as a concern. Tell them that you want to raise your son to be a healthy eater who is able to listen to his own body's cues for hunger and be able to know when he is hungry and WHEN HE IS FULL which is key to stopping obesity before it starts. He cannot learn this if people are trying to force him to eat. Would they be willing to compromise by leaving a HEALTHY, whole food snack, like lightly steamed baby carrots or other VEGETABLE in a bowl near where he plays? That way your son knows it is there and is able to choose when he wants it. Veggies are building blocks that are very low in calories and have less sugars than fruits or crackers (as the body turns the carbs into sugar to process) and are ideal for toddler snacking.

If your parents think you are overreacting, or are not willing to even make a compromise it is time to find a different solution so you can work from home. Period. I know the current situation is convenient for you, but the health of your son, now and in his future, is so much more important than convenience now.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

Yes, and while they aren't likely to feed him to the point that he throws up, and right now, he isn't at the point of having a weight problem, people in our society have problems with food. They eat constantly. It's bad to start this habit with a child. Remember that older folks may think a chubby baby is a healthy baby but this is not true. I would tell your parents that your pediatrician recommends 3 meals and 2-3 small healthy snacks a day. Let them know it's not healthy for children to get into the habit of eating more than this. Perhaps you may need to spend his time there with him, send his own food or only send him for a short amount of time, like 1/2 hour when he can have a meal or a snack there. Otherwise, let your doctor know this is a problem and on your next visit, bring grandma and grandpa along so that the doctor can let them know why it's a problem to give a child more than the meals and small snacks he needs.
Good luck M..

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D.R.

answers from New York on

yes you can. my mil overfed my daughter until she threw up. twice. absolutely disgusting on so many levels. i went on and on here about it, the whole food=love thing, then my computer crapped out mid-rant. probably better off.... good luck with it, i dont know what to do about it myself, i have tried....

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A.H.

answers from New York on

The answer to your 2 questions is Yes, and Yes. I have an aunt who overfed her three children - she thought the more food the better. "Luckily", one of her kids always threw up if she was forced to eat more than she wanted. Guess which kid was always a healthy weight, and which ones TO THIS DAY (40+ years later) are still struggling with weight issues...

We are all born with the instinctual ability to recognize when we've eaten enough to satisfy our hunger, and it's only through greed for yummy food (which we all struggle with!) and learning to ignore our bodies that we eventually lose to ability to recognize our bodies signals.

As hard as it may be, you need to be firm with your parents on this for your child's sake.

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Z.L.

answers from New York on

Have you asked them WHY they feel they need to do this? Do they realize they are constantly feeding him? As for your son and over eating, does he eat well at meals, despite your parents feeding him? I have read that constant snacking inhibits a child's ability to recognize when they are really hungry. If they won't not feed him, maybe you can get them to feed him specific meals, i.e. lunch and a snack. Each "meal" should be formal in that he has to sit down at the table and eat and when he gets down he is finished and that is it for that meal. Maybe that will help your son establish a good eating habit and enable your parents to feel like they are feeding him enough.

If the constant feeding is interfering with his eating good meals, you will need to establish rules and consequences. I understand you need your parent's help so not sure how to lay down the law in a way that they will understand and comply with. That is a tough one. You may have to try not letting your son play with them and see if they are willing to play by your rules to be able to spend time with their grandson.

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R.Q.

answers from New York on

Talk to your parents and explain that you don't want your son to have food constantly, but if they feel that your son may get hungry while playing they can provide some nutritious snacks (veggie sticks, fruit wedges, frozen vegetable cubes, etc--no cookies or chips) on a low table near (but not in) his play area or even in the dining room or kitchen, where he can go and feed himself when he's hungry without feeling the need to appease his grandparents desire to stuff him :D If your son is hungry he will eat and if you specify that the snacks must be nutritious then you don't have to worry about him filling up on junk. And your parents will have fulfilled their need to provide your son with food to make sure he's not starving ;-)

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M.K.

answers from New York on

Dear Mom,

I am confused because your saying he is ONLY in the 35th percentile for weight

and in the 80th percentile for height.

Which seems to me like he is UNDER weight for his height.
And compared to the other 65 percent of the population.

Also it has been my experience that kids eat what they need, there really is no Over feeding kids.

Example my Oldest child was in the 85th percentile for height weight and head circumfrence, always ate and liked to have 2 of everything, one for each hand. Had a vicious sweet tooth.

He is now 13 and Average height, and under weight at 95 lbs.
He constanly eats , but he is also active, and likes bike riding. ONLY eats healthy foods like grilled chicken salads, and fruits without bruises on them. and Wheat breads.

My middle child whom is 4 years old nearly 5 and NEVER eats, and when he does it almost seems as if he stores it up like a chipmonk,eating TONS of healthy foods like grilled chicken and fresh fruits. He is only average height and int he 50th percentile for weight and height, and 75th percentile for head circumfrence.

My Youngest child just turned 3 he is in the 95th percentile for height, weight and head circumfrence.
everyone thinks that the younger 2 are twins.

He is constantly eating JUNK foods.
cookies, twizzlers, even asks for soda at breakfast.
( NO I don't give it to him, but he asks for it LOL)

I just wanted to share this with you so you could understand that NONE of these percentiles matter.
They mean absolutely nothing,

In my honest opinion and from my own personal experience, I believe in giving kids what they want within reason,
I make 3 meals a day,If they don't eat it they can have cereal, or fruit. If they eat their dinner or breaskfast or lunch and want a snack, I let them have it.

As for portion control, I think its a crock,
this is for us old people. Or the folks out there supersizing.

You can't possibly think its appropriate to try and control the amount of food your 12 month old BABY is eating.
HOW do you know he isn't HUNGRY? he can't talk.
And if he is still hungry why would you want to make food so much of an issue.

People are FAT for various reasons.

But if you teach your child to live an active lifestyle and to love and enjoy active activities such as Biking, hiking, swimming, etc. He will always love it.

Limit his video games and TV watching. Not his food.

Below I've posted several links I think you will appreciate.
The last 2 explain meal plans for 12 month olds, and Amounts they need more or less.

I hope everything works out for you.
I really wouldn't isolate my child from his grandparents, especially because you think they might offer him a cookie or 2. I wish my mother was still alive and could offer my kids something sweet.

Good luck.

M

http://www.kidsgrowth.com/resources/articledetail.cfm?id=304

http://pediatrics.about.com/od/agesandstages/ig/Ages-and-...

http://kidshealth.org/parent/nutrition_fit/nutrition/feed...

http://www.wholesomebabyfood.com/babymenub.htm

http://www.wholesomebabyfood.com/howmuchbabyeat.htm

1 mom found this helpful
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L.L.

answers from New York on

At just one year old, I'd say don't worry. But you might want to bring up this concern when he's a bit older. I was always taught "everything in moderation" and if they're constantly forcing food on him, it could cause problems in the future.

But for now relax. Most kids at that age stop eating when they're full. They're just being grandparents. :)
Lynsey

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T.W.

answers from New York on

For the most part kids will eat until they are full. I wouldn't worry too much about your parents overfeeding your son though I do understand where you are coming from with the sweets. I have a motto "as long at it is within moderation and the kids are getting a well balanced diet then sweets now and then is okay." Like you I was careful of the sweets and now my kids all choose fruits and vegetables over sweets and three of them are adults, one is a teenage, and the last is 10 years old.

T.

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E.R.

answers from New York on

My son was the same a year ago when he was a year old. He was just a bit pudgy, but what we fed him was healthy. It seemed like he never got full enough to stop wanting to eat, like everyone says. But now that he's turning 2, he has for some reason become very fussy with food and often doesn't seem to eat enough. He still has the same body type, so I don't worry too much about it. Like you said, just make sure what he eats is healthy like fruit, and without any unnatural sweeteners (aspartame is very bad; beware the label no added sugar). It sounds like he is kept active and engaged with his grandparents, which is a blessing. If I had help like that, I wouldn't take it for granted!

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C.H.

answers from New York on

Hi M.,
I couldn't help but laugh when I read your post b/c I've SO been there w/ my son and my in-laws :). I don't know if it's a generational thing, a cultural thing (definitely part of the equation in my case), an in-laws thing, or a grandparent thing, but based on my surveys among friends during moments of exasperation, it seems pretty common.

I don't know the answers to your questions, but I just wanted to tell you that you are definitely not alone! :).

Incidentally, my son is about to turn 7, and he's been tracking @ 50th percentile in weight and 90th percentile in height ever since he was about a year old--no matter how much he's been fed! He can't help his genetics. :)

My suggestion is to discuss it with your ped if you are concerned, but try not to let it bother you too much.

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A.D.

answers from New York on

Hi M., The answer is YES you can over feed a child. It sounds to me like Italian grandparents (which I am) Some cultures think the more you feed the better they are. His little tummy will stretch and he will always want more than he needs. Try to keep talking to them. They must understand that you do not want them to feed him. Grandma Mary

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K.H.

answers from Utica on

Hi M.
I don't think so. Usually they stop opening their mouth.
Grandmas do like to feed them, but as long as it is not candy and sweets, be thankful. It is her way of showing love.
The day comes when they can't feed, help, play with your children and you look back and wonder why did I fuss about it so much.
God bless you and give you wisdom
K. -- SAHM married 38 years --- adult children 38,33,and twins 18

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B.P.

answers from New York on

I am a little confused...are they giving him candy and other junk food? Are they forcing food into his mouth when he turns away? Are they making him cry? My son is the same proportionally as your son and I often have to spend a great deal of time feeding him as he is a slow eater and often picky. What are you exactly concerned about? About him getting fat? Is this really an issue about control? I mean, do you think their attempts at feeding him are a subtle way to critisize your parenting? I know that in-laws can be anoying. Our our parents can be annoying too. But if they are not feeding him junky empty calories, what is the problem?

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V.R.

answers from New York on

Hi M., grandparents usually have a tendency to spoil their grandchildren and food is the ultimate expression of love in some families. So, when you take the baby to the pediatrician, ask the doctor for some guidelines and that way instead of you telling your parents, "don't feed him this or that", the directive can come straight from the doctor, and say, his doctor says "..." That way they can still enjoy their grandbaby and you can have peace of mind and keep the peace with your parents. God Bless!

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