My son just turned 3 last month and he has a speech delay. He is probably at an 18 month level. He is very smart (identifies letters, colors and counts to 20). He qualified for the PPCD program and can start in January when school begins again.
But, I'm still on the fence. I know he needs help with his speech but I think he is still so young and had never been left anywhere before. I stay home with him and he is always with me. We did adopt him when he was 9 months old and he does have some separation anxiety.
I am scared for him to go and I am scared for him not to go. I don't want to not send him just b/c I would miss him. That would be selfish. I am really torn about what to do. I seem to be looking for advise everywhere.
We did visit the preschool and he was nervous at first but kept inching closer to the kids (rug time) and then when they called for snack time he went and found a seat and ate with them. He did keep looking back at me.
Should he go? Should he not go?
Thank you for the responses! I am going to send him. He had a great time tonight @ a party, did not cling to us at all and went and played with the kids. He is ready.
His anxiety in the past was not typical toddler separation anxiety. He was 9.5 months when he came to be with us and we were his 4th placement. His fear of waking up to a new mama was very real and very painful for him (as well as us). The social worker told us we needed to be really careful with how we handled him starting preschool b/c it could affect his attachment. That was my biggest worry.
YES. My son is 3 1/2 years old. He also has a speech delay. I recently enrolled him in preschool this month. Within 4 days of preschool, he has said the word robot & black sheep!
yes....send him. My son also goes to ppcd for speech delay. His speech has come SO FAR...and he has only been there for 2months. In fact, I don't think that he is really behind anymore.
He rides the bus and LOVES IT! I know, it is scary. But you will be glad you did it.
Yes, he should go. It's a great program, only 1/2 day, and really helps kids catch up and adjust to school. 2 years from now he'll be much better prepared for KG and school because he had 2 years of speech and other help. It's always hard for kids to leave at first, but he'll adjust and so will you. Kids go to preschool all the time and it really helps. If he's still adjusting to separation anxiety, especially with the adoption, this will help. You're going to have to leave him sometimes for small periods of time, it's easier to adjust to it now. It's only 1/2 day. I've taught KG/1st/2nd and there are kids who have come into my class that we realized had some delays. It often takes a few months or more before they get services because you are observing, trying different modifications, testing, meeting, and more. Now, another option you could talk to them about is just going to speech and not doing PPCD. My son did that for 2 years. Once a week I would drop him off for about 30 minutes with the speech teacher. I would have preferred PPCD looking back on it now, but he did not qualify.
Whatever decision you make, you're going to second guess. So just go with your gut choices either way. He'll be ok. If you decide to keep him home though, please check into weekly speech therapy. It will help him with learning and pronouncing his sounds correctly. That will help him socially and with reading. Good luck! It's going to be ok!
Please let him go. At least let him try it.
He qualifies for this program, let him benefit from it.
Separate your anxiety from his.
If he knows you are okay, he will be okay.
My little boy was all boy, but very sensitive. He loved preschool. He loved taking his little lunch box and saying "I gotta go do work, Mommy."
But, bless his little heart, he was worried about me.
Would I be okay while he was gone? Would I be sad? Would I be lonely?
I just reassured him that yes, I would miss him and I would think about him, but I would be just fine and I would be there to pick him when it was time for him to come home so he could tell me all about his day.
I also started a tradition of putting notes in his lunch box. He was super little when he could read, "I love you. Have a great day! Mommy"
He's 15 and I still stick notes in his back pack or lunch box.
I had to go out of town for work and my heart melted when I found a note he had stashed for me to find.
Anyway, your son is 3 years old. He needs to know it's okay for him to go out in a part of the world that is all his own. It will build confidence and give him more security in the long run. That's my opinion.
He just needs to know that even if you are apart, you're not far away and will always be there to get him. Let him know it's okay for him to be with other kids and other adults and let him benefit from the speech therapy.
I think your son kept looking back at you during your visit to make sure you had a smile on your face and a thumbs up that it was all right for him to be with the other kids and have a snack.
It's harder on us moms to let go sometimes and I think our little kiddos can pick up on that.
You obviously adore him. He knows.
You may be amazed at his speech once he's around other kids a bit more.
My advice is to let him go and be super upbeat and positive about it.
I wish you the very best.
We don't have any of the issues your family has but I can tell you my nearly 3 year old daughter started a Mother's Day Out program this year and it's been great. My husband was very hesitant about it, she had been staying home with me and he was a nervous wreck having her away from us. Well she has had a BALL at "school" and she has learned soooo much. It's like she matured right before our very eyes. She LOVES her teachers, has her own friends, gets to make little crafts, has learned new songs, she has grown so much (which is good and bad...kinda makes me sad) and it has been a wonderful experience for her. We just attended her Christmas party and when we left my husband commented on how well this has turned out for her, then he tried to take the credit for putting her in there. Ha! I say go for it and see what happens. If he absolutely hates it after a month or so and you think it's too early for him, you can always take him out and try again next year. My only suggestion would be to look into ways to boost his immune system because he will be getting every cold that his classmates bring in. That part is no fun. =(
Hi S.,
You sound like such a sweet mom. Let me share with you something that I, as a preschool teacher and mom, also had to get my own head around.
There are lots of great reasons for children to attend preschool. They learn so much, and get to learn how to play with other children. For any child, this is work which needs a lot of support. Children with speech delays need this support even more, because they need a teacher who *wants* to understand what the child is trying to express, and is willing to be a detective.
To me, however, one of the main reasons to put a child who doesn't have usual caregivers into a preschool setting is to teach the child to trust other adults. My son's preschool teachers are three women I've had the privelege of knowing for a long, long time, and they each bring their own style and personality to the job. One is louder, one is softer, and one spunky, and together, I've been so impressed. They will never replace me as a mom, yet they are providing a very positive first experience for my son in having to depend on other adults to meet his needs. Because of this, he experiences the world as a more caring and safer place.
All children need this lesson, at some point. I like to think that as a preschool teacher, I help to give the child that experience sooner, so they can go into kindergarten trusting that his teacher wants the best for him. How a child views the role of the teacher, to be trusted and allowed to lead, or to be uncertain and challenging everything the teacher suggests-- this helps the child considerably as they get older.
Your son might keep looking back at you because he senses your own unease. He needs *you* to be okay with him going to preschool. At this young age, you are his barometer for what's safe and what's not, and he needs preschool to feel safe for you so he can relax too. Also know that early intervention resources are of tremendous value, and that your son would have a chance to make a huge gain before dealing with a larger classroom of children, where it would be more of a struggle to get his needs met.
I sense your wistfulness too, and urge you to have some friends or family to call when you do send him to preschool. You will need something to keep your mind off things, for a little bit. I think, once you get used to him being gone, you might be able to relax and really enjoy that time you have to yourself, even if it's just at a coffee shop, reading a book, poring over a magazine or surfing the net.
Please know, whatever separation anxiety your son has, his teachers are going to be your best asset in helping you help your son navigate this, so you shouldn't be afraid to ask for advice or suggestions if you are feeling stuck or need some insight. There's nothing wrong with working as a team and asking for help on this, because separation anxiety can strongly affect both parent and child. I'd encourage you to ask for help if it becomes overwhelming for you.
My best to you,
H.
My second child had some speech issues, and she greatly benefited from preschool. She had a rocky start (but then, she was 2.5 at the time), however after about a month she began to really enjoy preschool. She made friends and it was good for her to HAVE to communicate with the other children and her teachers. Her speech became clearer and her confidence improved. Now we can't shut her up! LOL
I guess my point is, why not give it a try? Sure, it will be an adjustment for both of you, but as moms one of the things we have to learn to do is let our little ones learn to fly on their own. It's sooooo hard, but this is what helps them grow into independent people someday.
The important thing is, remember to talk about preschool in terms of how much FUN it's going to be, how he will have so many children to play with and learn with and eat lunch with, that he will get to do art projects and sing songs and dance. Find out the name of his teacher ahead of time, and talk about her. ("Miss Stacey will read stories to you during circle time! That will be so much fun!")
Then on the first day of school, walk him into his classroom, sign him in, hug him goodbye, hand him off to his teacher and LEAVE. You will feel like staying and making sure he's okay, but don't. That will make it hard on him. You can go sit in the car and cry if you want to (I did with both kids =) but don't let him see you melt down about it. It's the hardest thing you'll ever do, letting your little one grow up, but it's also the best thing you can do for him.
I say, let him go to preschool. You and he with both come to love it!
.
S.,
Obviously you are the only one that can make this choice but I feel that the PPCD program would be best for your child. In September, I started my 2 year old in a preschool program at a local church. He cried everyday for two weeks when I was dropping him off and kept asking myself if I made the right decision. The 3rd week was like a total transformation. He started liking it. Now he absolutely loves to go to school. He runs to the building every morning and is ready to see his teachers and his "friends." He was already a very bright little toddler but now people are amazed of all that he is learning. He has learned social skills, how to sing songs, and is talking exceptionally well. We do have circumstances that are different but I think this will so prepare your child better for when he actually has to start school, he will already be use to it. I would at least give it a chance and I think you will be happy you did put him in. The best advice I could personally give is to pray about it though. Best of luck!
I was in your shoes 2 years ago (well VERY similar shoes at least:) and made the HARD HARD decision to send him. He cried literally EVERY drop off (he only went two days a week) and the teacher had to pry him off my legs. I was finally at the point where I was going to pull him as it had been two MONTHS of this. Then literally it "clicked" and one day he ASKED to go and wanted to go, drop off was a piece of cake and he would go right in, very excited to go (he was ALWAYS very happy at pick up and would tell me how much fun he had that's why I kept him in so long). So yes for us it was a VERY hard adjustment period but well worth it and even though he was in speech therapy before the school helped MUCH more and now that he's 4.5 he is closer to where he should be for language. This year he did 3 days and then next year he will be in kinder 5 so I think the adjustment to kinder won't be as drastic now that we did it that way. But you need to do what's right for your kiddo but do keep in mind you can always try it and pull him out if needed. To me it's better to try it and see then wait and see if that makes sense. At this age they are sponges and so to me early learning is REALLY important, especially with speech so I would go for it but just be prepared for an adjustment period for sure. Good luck with whatever you decide!!
Having taught PPCD, I LOVE that program and know I will teach it again one day when my girls are older. YES YES YES send him. He will flourish. Communicate openly about your reservations with the teacher, but otherwise....it is a short day and well worth the time and energy to get him there!!!
Does he qualify or can you pay for group therapy several hours a week? My son completed two hour sessions three times a week. A caregiver had to stay and be very involved. My husband, mother, and myself learned so much from this type of program. It helped us keep up the strategies at home. Being in a group setting the therapists addressed speech and playskill development. Being six hours a week it was intensive plus we changed our life at home to reinforce what was taught at therapy. If you can find something like this it may get him help without causing seperation anxiety. Good luck!
What schedule do they want him on? My daughter at 1st went 3 days a week for several hours. I would send him.
I was worried about sending my 3 year old as well, he started school August 12 of this year and turned 3 on September 3, so he actually started at 2. He is doing so well, I am glad I sent him. He has always resisted learning colors, shapes, numbers, letters, counting, he never liked to sit still for reading books. There are still days he gets time outs for not listening and days he cries, but for the most part he loves going to school.
I worried I was robbing him of his childhood by putting him in school so early, making him get up and all that, but I know feel like he is going to be ahead of the game, by the time he goes to kindergarten he will have already had two years of preschool under his belt.
There are kids in his class that have speech therapy 1 or 2 days a week for about 15-20 minutes.
As far as the separation axiety goes, if you are able to, volunteer in the classroom. I go with him as often as possible, and the first month I stayed for an hour and a half (he only goes 3 hours a day) and then I would leave and let him experience the class alone. This usually gave him enough time to warm up and get involved, so he wouldn't really be bothered when I left. After a while, make your time there shorter and shorter, so go, get him settled in, say in a very happy tone that you will be back and leave. After a while he will be so involved he won't even think twice about it. The teacher will be greatful for the help as well!
If you are not comfortable with him going and not ready to separate from him, then he should not go. There are other alternatives. If he has a speech delay, we know that the earlier there is speech intervention, the better. If he is normal in other areas, then there is no need for him to go to an all day preschool.
My son, who also has a speech delay, goes to an amazing facility in Rockwall called Excel Pediatrics. Insurance doesn't cover enough, so it is financially hard sometimes. But it is important. He loves it and is benefitting. The school district should offer speech for your child without a cost. Go talk to the school and see what speech programs he qualifies for and what they offer. This isn't done in an all day preschool format. This is a meeting one on one with a speech teacher.
Just keep researching your options. I think it is important to listen to those mother's intuitions as long as you know that you aren't thinking of yourself but thinking of what is best for your child. And if your child's delay is speech/language, there are other options out there for you other then all day preschool/headstart.
Yes, yes, yes! Definately send him to the PPCD program! My first born was in PPCD and loved it and my second one is in PPCD and loves it! Your son will have some separation anxiety at first, but that is completely normal and to be expected! You have to cut the cord at some point and this is your perfect opportunity to do that. You will be helping your son tremendously, and the best part of the PPCD program is that it's free. Of course I wish my son wasn't in the PPCD program, but the fact that it's free is a perk! My son LOVES riding the bus to and from school! It is so cute watching him get on! Your son will love riding the bus, too. They will have a carseat for him on the bus, just ask! This program will have him so ready for kindergarten, you will be amazed. Definately don't deprive him of this wonderful opportunity!
