I know this will seem really silly compared to the myriad of issues and problems we deal with, and it really isn't a big deal in my book - really! But I just have to wonder...why can't my daughter ever stay seated in a chair or on the couch? She's 6 years old and this is how she's been since we ditched high chairs and booster seats. At the table for dinner, she never just sits square in the chair - she hangs her butt half off the chair while she's eating. At a restaurant, she will start out sitting, but as she is coloring or whatever before the food arrives, eventually her butt slides half off the chair, than totally out, and she's standing while coloring. Same thing while eating - it feels like I spend half my time telling her, "Can you please sit back on the chair?"
Same thing often with the living room couch. If she's playing an electronic game or reading a book, she's got her feet or her knees on the floor facing in toward the couch and front half bent forward or her elbows on the cushion. She hardly ever just sits on her bottom on the cushion.
Like I said, not an earth-shattering matter...just one of those things I wonder about, like she still insists on Band-Aids for every percieved injury, or why she is ok going up to her room on her own during the day, but not at night (even with all the lights on - because she thinks a spider is there somewhere waiting to jump out at her). I am wondering how she manages at school (she is 6 years old and in first grade) when she has to keep her butt in her seat, but maybe it's easier when the chairs are all kid-sized? Anyone else's kids do stuff like this?
I wouldn't worry about it. She's comfortable at home. At school, she has to conform to the other kids to a degree.
She'll grow. Just be consistent with her and don't fight every single battle...
The proportions of "adult" furniture/seating, really is not proportionate to a little kid size.
I mean, even for me, with SOME furniture, it just is not comfortable for me. My legs and the width/length of the seating cushion is too long for me. But is not for my Husband. We are of different heights. So when I sit in something that may be fine for him, I am not comfortable so then, I will sit differently in that chair. Than he will. And if I sit all prim and proper on the sofa.... well my knees start to hurt because of the way it is DANGLING off of the sofa. AND I need an ottoman, for MY legs/knees. Because of the proportions of the sofa. But my Husband doesn't need that ottoman for his legs.
Same for my kids.
And they are smaller.
They don't sit JUST like me or my Husband when they are sitting around the house. No biggie.
At school, yes the chairs are kid, sized. And in proportion. AND the Teachers, often have their OWN adult sized chair, to sit in, when there is floor time or reading time etc. If a Teacher sits in the kid's chairs, well it is drastically too small all around.
I work at a school and Sub Teach as well.
I know.
When eating, at an adult sized/height table, IF a child sits all the way back on that chair, they then cannot reach... the table nor reach for their food etc. Their arms, are also shorter in length than ours, per "reach."
So scooting the chair closer to the table can help. IF it is not a booth type "chair." But then once the chair is scooted closer to the table, to then reach for the plate/food, then they child may be too close to that table.
Just adjust.
Young kids, like Band aids.
And if they don't need one, you just tell them they don't need one. It is wasting a Band Aid.
At night, that is different than daytime.
It is, "scarier" at night. For MANY kids.
And per cognitive development, they also develop "imaginations" and we cannot turn that off. But it it a normal phase.
Give her a flashlight for her bed. I do that with my kids.
Its just a normal phase.
My kids would get scared when it is windy at night. And the shadows on the walls from outside. So we WENT outside, with flashlights, showed them how it works. The wind blows things. It makes noise in the leaves. The street lights, cast shadows on things. etc.
Its fine.
S.H.'s answer is spot on. Your daughter may be seeking better balance. Just imagine the energy it takes to balance yourself without your feet touching the floor. As a short person, it exhausts me. I figit and squirm. One foot on the floor improves your daughter's balance. Two, even better!
If you have a seat at the dinner table with arms, she may do much better. Similarly, it might helpat a restaurant to have her to sit in the inside of a booth, so she can balance against the wall. I'm speaking from my own experience.
I suggest this is a battle not worth fighting. I would stop paying attention to how she's sitting. What you describe is so normal at this age and size. If you're not needing to change how she sits the way she is sitting will not be disruptive.
Yep, SH has it right. It's uncomfortable to sit in a chair where your feet don't touch the floor solidly at the same time that your back can lean against the backrest.
I'm taller than average height for a woman, and I feel the same way about seats in airplanes and many passenger seats in cars because they are built for men. Sitting 'properly' in them is uncomfortable. I always end up either putting my carry-on under my feet, or sitting with one foot under me half-cross legged, or putting a pillow behind my back...
At school, she probably doesn't have a problem because the chairs are kid-sized.
I think everything SH said is spot on. I'm not quite 5' tall and sitting on our couch? ugh. I have to get a stepstool for my feet or lounge on it.... having your feet not touching the floor or something else-- it stinks.
When we took the footrest off Kiddo's adjustable chair (you can change the height), he got all squirmy, sitting with his feet tucked to the side. Sometimes, he'd just be sideways like he was taking a nap. I allow him to stand at the table if he wants to-- much easier for everyone.
and yeah, they just need us more at night. All of the day time distractions are laid to rest and then their deeper thoughts, I believe, rise to the fore for them. A couple weeks ago we had to put our cat down and do you know how many nights I've been 'needed' to talk about that or something else which seemed *really* important to him? Nearly ALL of them. I'm staying available because he's processing some stuff he's usually able to distract himself from all day, (and because this is short-term stuff).... but yes, unless you can see what's beneath the behaviors, it can be draining.
He's nearly seven and we *have* grown out of the Band-Aid factor, so that's a plus!
She's active. It's good. Sitting is bad for us.
My daughter will be 6 on the 31st, in Kindergarten. She is the same way---except we have trouble even getting her to stand still. But at school, we hear how she listens with an occasional reminder here and there. And yes, she will sit in the living room with no lights on to watch tv or play her Nintendo but when it is time to sleep, her dream light is not enough and she will not go.
I had to laugh while reading this. I tell my son sometimes (jokingly) that I'm going to duct tape him to the chair. He doesn't do it at restaurants, just at home. If he gets too many warnings, he gets to eat standing up at the kitchen island (which is right by the table).
LOL - sounds like my girl (she is 6 too). At dinner Daddy says to her "two cheeks" quite often. When it is just she and I and our little guy *shrug* it does not bother me as long as she is eating and not playing.
At night she probably just wants more time with you! I actually asked my daughter why she did it, and that was her reason (it was also fun to play pretend).
Oh and and band aids, most of the time she is fine now. However she does still fake injuries or make mountains out of mole hills to get a Hello Kitty... Most of the time I tell her no blood - no band aid.
And at the parent teacher conference, my girl had no issues... they save this stuff for home. :) And I am sure your does too!
Good luck and remember have fun with her! She is only this age once! :)
I was worse than your daughter. I was a very wriggly kid. I broke every chair, step stool, end table etc when I was little, because I woudn't sit still, and the rungs would come loose. I am not, and was never big, just wriggly.
I personally wouldn't mind standing while coloring, so long as she is stood at the table, not in anyone's way, and her chair was pushed in.
My kid is 3.5. I have a sit at the table rule when eating rule. My coat has a belt tie to it. I have told my kid that if he can't manage to stay seated, I would be happy to tie a belt around him to help him stay in his seat. I've done the same to a kid's friend, with her permission. At 3.5 this really sank in hard. Both were able to self regulate without needing the "help" of my belt.
Best,
F. B.
Do you think it might have something to do with her feet touching the ground? That's the big difference I can see in school chairs and regular chairs.
