Can't Stop My Stress Eating!!

Updated on May 17, 2011
R.D. asks from Richmond, VA
19 answers

We eat relatively healthy all the time. I'm not a health food junkie, but we eat healthy. Recently, and I'm sure this is because of our upcoming wedding, I will literally eat everything I can get my hands on! And the more I tell myself to stop, the more I do it. This is really REALLY unusual for me and I'm honestly a bit scared at how I'm feeling COMPELLED to eat, and eat a lot. I haven't gained any weight from it (YET!!) but I'm definately rounding out... and my biggest fear come wedding day is to fit in my dress. I'm getting MORE nervous about it, which of course in turn triggers the stress eating more.

What can I do to stop this?! I don't want to stop eating, just this awful binge snacking. I've never been like this before in my life. It's scary, because like I said, I can't seem to stop myself. I usually snack after the kids go to bed, and wake up SO mad at myself for eating so much junk the night before. It's affecting my sleep, my skin, my attitude... what can I do?!

I use the word 'compelled' to describe how I feel, and I hope that everyone realizes that this is not to be downplayed. If it was as simple as 'just stop', I would have done that already ;)

What can I do next?

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B.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Until you clear the cravings you will continue to have them. www.SoYouWantToCleanse.com is how I got rid of mine.

B.
Family Success Coach

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S.G.

answers from Austin on

The night time eating is SUPER common. I am in that habit as well but I've read that your body automatically sends you these messages as you get tired because eating a light snack (especially carbs) helps your body fully shut down into rest mode. (i could go look up the article and list the actual science behind that and it'd make more sense, maybe ill do that and copy/paste the link later lol)...

but if you are stressed or active or BOTH... your adrenals are being worked in overtime and are unable to recover so I think that causes your hormones to go a bit crazy.

My husband and I both eat a "4th meal" too. In the past I've woken up COMPLETELY mad about what I ate the night before, bc like you said its as though I cannot stop!!! lol

One thing that works for me is chewing gum or brushing my teeth often. I HATE the taste of food mixed with toothpaste or spearment lol. it absolutely works.

Secondly, I don't keep carb snacks in the house (cereal for the kids but its stuff I can't eat... im gluten free and following the SCD diet) so I'm forced to go for very healthy things like Apple Chips or cashews.

I began drinking a cup of tea before bed. (as I'm going to bed) It's so relaxing and it's a nice habit. (sort of like my 'night cap'). Caffeine free obviously. it gives me hands and mouth an activity while I'm reading or catching up on emails. then i go brush my teeth.

other things you could do are take a hot shower or a bath when you begin feeling like eating. by the time you're done, you'll be ready for bed and the cravings will probably subside. I read somewhere that you could paint your nails bc it keeps your hands busy and by the time the paint dries, you'll need to go to sleep but in the meantime you wont want to mess up the nails by eating. So each night make a routine of pampering yourself instead of eating?

also, NEVER skip meals and try and keep healthy snacks around during the day so you don't feel like you need something at night.

3 moms found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Cleveland on

I can totally relate! If there is any kind of candy or fresh-baked cookies in the house, I feel compelled to eat, too. So......I guess I can't keep cookies around because I just can't resist. Candy is rarely around, but if it is around Easter or Halloween, watch out! (my kids wonder why their candy supply is lower the next day, ha ha)

Anyways, my best advice is to NOT keep those snacks around the house. If it is right in front of you it will be that much more difficult to resist. If you find yourself tempted by your children's snacks, just tell yourself that if YOU eat those foods, your kids won't have them to eat.

Also, try to find a healthy snack that you could consider a treat for yourself. Keep this around so when you do feel compelled to snack, you can feel better about it!

Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful
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J.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

You say you're eating everything and that's the problem. I say, what's eating *you*?

Surely this isn't happening in a vacuum. Yes, weddings can be stressful, but are you sure it's the wedding driving this behavior? I say you need to figure out what is specifically bothering you or stressing you out about your wedding, and deal with it directly.

Delve deep, because if you don't figure it out, this nasty habit you're picking up will go on well beyond the wedding and honeymoon. Any chance you are in premarriage counseling? If not, go on a premarriage retreat. Many churches offer them regularly, and I don't think you need to belong to a church community to attend one of those weekend retreats. This might be a good opportunity to tackle what's eating you.

Is it some unresolved fears or issues about your relationship with your future spouse? Is it his family or your future MIL? Is it money fears? Think long and hard and try to figure out what has you so worried and deal with it now.

In the interim, keep veggie and fruit trays in the fridge with yogurt or veggie dip for snacking. Popcorn is good too (but buy organic because the other stuff is known to cause weight gain - google GM popcorn).

I love eating a huge apple or pear when I get hungry in the middle of the night. It fills you up fast, is crunchy and refreshing. If you need sweet the yogurt for dipping is a nice low-fat touch. If it is stress eating, you're just wanting to put something in your mouth, you're not really hungry. So just make sure the something tastes good, but has no calories.

Relax and stop worrying about fitting that dress. Seriously, you're going to ruin your wedding doing this. Chances are sooo slim that you'll gain significant weight between now and your wedding. If you do get a little bit, you can always do an herbal (sea weed is a good one) body wrap at a salon. You can *temporarily* lose up to an inch doing these. It's one way that has been known to help you fit a dress if you gain a *few pounds.* Keep in mind, you aren't actually losing weight, but the wrap does cause toxins and excess water in your system to be released, giving you temporary weight loss (lasts about a day or two). So be sure to schedule it for 1-2 days before the wedding and drink tons of water before hand to avoid dehydration. Be sure to go to a reputible salon for this. You wouldn't want to pass out at your wedding because of dehydration. If you have the JUUT salon chain in your area, this would be a good place to go if this interests you. I think JUUT also goes by AVEDA Salonspa in other cities.

For info on wraps see: http://www.askahealer.com/bodywraps.html

Most important...stop worrying!

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P.S.

answers from Houston on

I hear sucking on a lemon kills sweet and chocolate cravings.

Keep yourself active (not busy).

Stay out of the house if you cna help it - if you can't, then don't buy anything bad. Keep your fridge and pantry free of sweets.

Keep a bottle of ice water w/you at all times.

Think positive! If your mind is compelled to eat eat eat, then you can also train your mind to not eat, not eat, not eat.

gl...you can do it!

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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Oh R., hon, you are stressing out so much.
It is nice now so get outside. Walk and walk and walk.
Take a Tae Kwon Do or similar class.
Join the Y and go for a swim.
You need to take your own "fishing' vacation. Let him take the kids for a weekend and go somewhere with a girl friend.
This is why you are having such bad dreams too.
Whatever happens on wedding day will happen and it will be beautiful. Whatever doesn't happen doesn't and it will still be beautiful.
Relax.

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J.W.

answers from Lexington on

I relate to you, and I am sure there are hundreds more Mamas here who have been through this.

An MD specializing in Integrative medicine may be able to really guide you better than any of us. The MD may have a nutritonist/dietitian to help you specifically. You may have gotten your gut out of balance - maybe you need a combination of things. Maybe you need to take probiotics and avoid the sugars and simple carbs - eat as much as you are compelled to, but know what you cannot eat.

Maybe you need someone to talk to about the stress and any concerns - a trusted friend or a therapist.

There are nutritional supplements, taken appropiately, that may actually help this when combined with exercise and good food choices. For the stress and anxiety, there are things like Vital adapt. There's fish oil, there's Relora, there is ashwaganda.... so I really hope you do consult with a really GOOD MD.

Here is a website that has food supplements I trust: http://www.lef.org Here are some non-mental side of things to explore - even if stress is what set it off to begin with: http://www.ItsNotMental.com (and another really good one I like is http://www.mercola.com There are LOTS to explore in all three of those sites.

For me, I also found that writing down EVERYTHING I ate in a daily journal (I always put my weekly weight in there as well), helped me. I found for myself I had to yeast overgrowth and did better on lots of leafy veggies with lean meats - with almost no grains (some Quinoa). But that's ME.

Another thing was having a good friend who lives close to me be my walking and weight-control buddy since she was having the same issues. If you are not fortunate enough to have a friend like that, I urge you to join a community, on-line or elsewhere, such as weight-watchers.

Know that there is no one-size-fits-all solution which is why there is such a proliferation of dieting books all claiming to be "THE" solution.

We all have different genetics, different stress responses, different environmental impact on our body, different nutritional needs. We have different problems that may be driving the eating behaviors.

1 mom found this helpful

A.C.

answers from Jacksonville on

As with any compulsion, you need support and to be held accountable. It depends on how hard to want to come down on yourself as well. Is Rob home at night? Can he say "R., put it down, you don't want or need that." And can you listen if encouraged? Can you distract yourself with flavored seltzers, small hard candy, games, going for a walk or drive, cuddling, mamapedia, anything? You are filling a void w/food, what is that void? These are questions I would ask myself, and be honest with myself in the answers. The key to unlocking compulsion is to find the source behind it. Once you know why you do something, it is easier to find ways to manage it.

1 mom found this helpful

M.M.

answers from Detroit on

Join a free website like livestrong.com. Here you enter everything you eat and drink for the day to see the number of calories you are consuming. Plus you can enter any exercising you may do. This helped me a LOT because everytime I went to grab some junk, I knew I would have to log it and feel awful having it stare me in the face.

Also, make sure you are eating healthy meals that FILL you up. If you eat a lite lunch and dinner, your mind is going to tell you you are still hungry and you are going to snack, snack, snack.

Between logging my food intake and eating more meals with protien that are FILLING I cut out almost all of my snacking. And I use to be a BIG snacker from after work till bedtime.

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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Your eating is clearly a reaction to your stress and anxiety. Try to address these underlying causes. Deep breathing, exercise, meditation and cognitive therapy (DIY) may help. I know when I am anxious or stressed, the thing that helps me most is to work out an action plan so my way forward is clear. If you can do this, perhaps your compulsion to eat will settle down. I. The meantime, remember to drink lots of water. Good luck!

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K.M.

answers from Denver on

I know that you are under pressure with the upcoming wedding. That takes its toll on anyone. I am in a parallel boat to you with having no appetite whatsoever due to stress, also still horrible for the body. If you are a list maker perhaps writing out what you plan to eat each day would be a good way to go. I find that drinking water makes me feel refreshed and if the water has some flavor to it I find I want to enjoy that taste as opposed to some more food. My son has recently taken to drinking water with the mio flavoring that he can add to it. Since this seems to be stress related I would also look at other ways to attempt to reduce stress to reduce the compulsion such as going for walks and getting adequate sleep. To get adequate sleep I have typically had great success with Badger Balm sleep balm under my nose, a shower before bed time, and a sleep mask

1 mom found this helpful

M..

answers from St. Louis on

Go have a beer and a cigarette. ;) At least for me anyways?

No really, go for a run after the kids are in bed. Working out relieves a lot of stress, and after you bust your butt you might not want to blow it by eating junk. Sex is a good stress reliever and workout. Ok Im done now.

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

the late night thing is my bete noir anyway, even without stress. nothing worse than that guilt/anger feeling when you wake up and remember what you ate the night before.
give your hands something else to do. take up knitting! (i've tried, i am unfathomably inept at it.)
get the junk out of the house, but do keep decent replacements- fruit, fat free greek yogurt (mix in some chopped dates and agave syrup, yum), raw nuts (they can backfire on you, though, healthy but lots of fat), frozen blueberries.
a nice cup of sleepytime tea is also a good late-night treat.
brushing your teeth can help. you'll be less likely to eat afterwards.
i keep some good organic cinnamon hard candy around too. sometimes just giving my chops something to do will do the trick, and the calories are very minimal.
hang in there, babe! it's almost june!
:) khairete
S.

1 mom found this helpful

A.H.

answers from San Francisco on

You could elope ;)

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J.R.

answers from Miami on

Hi R.. I can totally relate. Some ideas:
1. Are you exercising enought? Taking walks? That helps reduce stress and can decrease hunger at times.

2. everytime you want to eat and are not hungry can you treat yourself with something else besides food? Water? A walk? A good book? A phone call?

3. Can you write in a journal about why you are stressed and feel the need to eat? Do you feel comfortable talking to a friend?

Best of Luck.

Jilly

1 mom found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

The key is to replace the behavior with something else. You can't just stop and leave a vacuum, especially if it's a stress response. You have to have a behavior ready to replace it. So maybe now instead of snacking when you feel stressed you grab a pair of sneakers and go for a walk. Or pick up a project that needs finishing and work on it. Occupy yourself so that you're not thinking about snacking and you're engaging in a productive behavior.

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R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

Oh , you're probably just pregnant!

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J.C.

answers from Lynchburg on

You've gotten some really great responses. I just skimmed through, but one thing you may need to do is start journaling when you feel compelled. Write down what is going on, anything you're worried about at the moment, etc. You may find that there is something going on that is triggering stress. For example, a commercial about a divorce lawyer may be playing on a fear of that happening to you. Then, you can stop, say "I've been with him for ____ and not only do we love each other, but we're usually happy and we have experience and willpower to work through problems."

Also, I'm a stress eater, and part of it was as simple as "just stop" because I came to see food as more than food. It was either evil b/c it made me gain weight or good because it made me feel better. But the funny thing is-it's neither evil nor good. It's just food. Really, it is. It's to sustain our bodies, to help our bodies, etc. We just get used to it doing other things, but the truth is simple. It's JUST food. Maybe you could write that on paper and tape in on a couple cabinets and your fridge?

Lastly, you may just want to make sure of a few things. I can't remember if you've said anything during previous posts about birth control or pregnancy (and haven't looked) but I know for me there were a couple times I had stress about certain issues and assumed I was eating more because of those. Turns out, I was pregnant, had a low-grade virus, or something like that. lol. It may help to get a check-up if you can b/c there are times things go on in our bodies and we miss it because we attribute it to something else. If you're not absolutely sure this is only wedding jitters, buy a pregnancy test, take your temperature, etc. Sure exercise, but also try doing some sleep exercises (tensing muscles in order from your neck to your toes and then releasing the tension in that same order), go to a spa for a day or at least a mani-pedi. These things can help you relax, which also helps you sleep better. Make sure you're sleeping enough. There are a lot of benefits to sleeping well and if you're not, that could be a reason your body is telling you to eat. I can't remember all the specifics, but if you want them, I can get them (I just finished my minor in Psych, and that includes physiological psychology, most recently -as in I finished it Friday, with an A, I might add- a class on the foundations of behavioral neuroscience).

Good luck!

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S.M.

answers from Washington DC on

This exact thing happened to me, except for a different reason. My solution -- get rid of the stress! After the wedding, things will be easier.

But in the meantime, have all of your kitchen chores done before 8 o'clock. Take a shower at 8, brush your teeth, stay out of the kitchen, and go to bed as early as possible. It's amazing how sleep and relaxation can beat those stress binges. Good luck!

Updated

This exact thing happened to me, except for a different reason. My solution -- get rid of the stress! After the wedding, things will be easier.

But in the meantime, have all of your kitchen chores done before 8 o'clock. Take a shower at 8, brush your teeth, stay out of the kitchen, and go to bed as early as possible. It's amazing how sleep and relaxation can beat those stress binges. Good luck!

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