Car Seat Arguement

Try a minivan, you will discover it is the best kept secret. Automatic doors are heaven. Only cool people drive minivans!

This isn't about whose right and wrong. It never is. You need to find middle ground, that is what marriage is about.

Whoever drives the kids the most gets the new car.

i don't know what you should buy, especially if you're anti-minivan. they're not sexy, but with twin babies you should be looking for easy, and minivans are so mom-friendly.
what stands out to me is the desire to nail down who's right and who's wrong. like almost EVERYTHING about parenting and partnership, there aren't clear lines around right and wrong. it's about compromise and respect. you two have a rough row to hoe if you're looking to sledgehammer each other into right and wrong positions over something as relatively minor as this.
khairete
S.

How about an SUV? We have a Yucon (gas sucks though...), and it has plenty of room. We have been able to easily fit 2 car seats and an adult in it. :)

IMO, whoever will be transporting the kids the most should sell their car, since the new car is basically to replace theirs. Unless one car is in better shape than the other, or worth a significant amount more in a trade-in...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ql-N3F1FhW4

I remember the pain of selling my compact SUV for a minivan. I don't think I could have done it before becoming a mother (before I knew how frieking hard it is to cart kids around) This video helped me cope. But I've never looked back. A minivan was the best car decision we have ever made (and since kids we have owned both a large SUV, a compact SUV, a Prius and a minivan).
But if you can live with straining your back to get your kids in and out of their car seats and deal with your kids causing door dings, and pulling over on road trips instead of climbing with ease to the back seat, and paying for the extra gas, then get a big SUV not a compact one. Compact SUV's don't do two car seats and room for a third person any better than a sedan. Two car seats calls for a third row. I think a truck is a terrible idea because you have to climb in them. Trust me, getting two kids in and out of carseats day in and day out calls for accessibility- NOT CLIMBING!
We sucked it up and got the minivan and my BiL and SIL couldn't deal and got a Lexus SUV (compact). We go on vacations with them often and I have to giggle when I watch my SIL squished in the back of her $80,000 car so she can tend to kids, as I sit comfortably and spaciously in my rear captains chair also tending to kids (not to mention how easy it is for me to pop back into the front seat while we drive). Being in the back with my kids on road trips is the number one reason I don't regret my minivan. A close second is automatic doors. I could write a page about how automatic sliding doors have saved my sanity.

The person who has the kids the most should have the family car. And forgive me for this, but if this is a right or wrong, who gets their way decision, God help you raising three kids together.

I also want to add that we would have saved thousands of dollars if we had just sucked it up and gotten the minivan from the get go. But alas, we were too cool.

We don't "do" car payments. So what I would do is sell the car of the person that will transport the kids the most. Sell it privately and put that money plus what you have saved toward a bigger vehicle-pay in full so there are no payments.

You're fighting over this? Buckle your seatbelt, it's going to be a bumpy ride!

Before you drive off the lot, pile the teen and the seats in there and make sure it works. I realize you may not like a minivan, but check them out. They've come a long way. Many people like the Honda Odyssey. One of our friends sold his sports car after baby #2 and has become a total convert with the Toyota Sedona. But another friend isn't entirely happy with the room (or lack thereof) in their new Crosstour. When we carry all the long-legged people, we pile into our Grand Caravan. My old boss liked her Ford Escape Hybrid. Another friend with two tots has a Saturn Vue she likes (bonus, since they no longer make them the price may be better.)

I do agree that it makes the most sense for the person who drives all the kids around the most to get the new car. (Think of it as getting, not giving up.)

Who is right or wrong? Nobody. You need to transport your kids safely so stop arguing right and wrong and work together as parents.

you have twins....get a minivan with auto doors...hello! so worth it not being your style. You don't have to use your arms to open the door! So easy...lol I love my mini and my husband who is a car freak also loves our minivan

Nobody needs to be right or wrong... you need to decide which car is most practical to sell. What are they worth, how many miles do they have, etc.

I'm considering getting a minivan even though they aren't my style, just because they are SO freaking practical. Our third child is on the way, our kids are all in sports and extra curriculars, we are always toting around other people's kids. I mean, have you been in a newer minivan? They are nice!

Since you are getting married and will need two cars, it doesn't really matter which car you trade. Starting thinking "our car 1, our car 2, and our new car".

Personally I think the car with the least resale value should go first because if it is lower now, it will be even less when you get rid of it later. Just because he trades his car in, doesn't mean he would be the one driving the new car on a regular basis nor does it mean you would if it was your car that got traded.

As to which one gets the new car (with the room for the whole family) it should be the one who will drive the kids the most. For example, if you drive the kids to daycare/school and/or pick them up every day AND typically handle extra curriculars then you should drive the new car (what good would it be to have it and not use it) even if his car is the one that was traded. Now if you share these duties pretty evenly, you might have to get two new used cars or switch things up (like you take them and the new car one week and he does it the next; or on specific days).

There are several vehicles that are Multi Purpose Vehicles...like a cross between a car and a van (the one that comes to my mind but I don't know if they make them anymore is a Ford Freestyle.

This is how it is with almost every friend I have, us included.

The person who carts the kids the most has to have the "kid" car. If dad takes kids to child care and off to school and back each day then he needs the car that carries the kids. If mom takes kids everywhere every day then mom has to have the vehicle that holds the kids comfortably.

It's that simple K.. If you transport the kids YOU have to have the kid friendly car. If he wants to keep your car because it's better on gas or lower payments then he has to use his for a trade in. Or you have to use yours.

It is that simple. The kids get the better car/van/truck/vehicle. Whomever drives the kids around gets to drive that.

If you guys are going to argue over this then perhaps you both need to get rid of your current vehicles and both get vehicles that are wide enough for this configuration of car seats and teenager.

I can't imagine this is comfortable for any of them. Why don't you sit in the backseat and let the teen sit up front a few times to get the feel of it. I bet both of you would have a different opinion after just one ride to the grocery store.

Mini vans are a good choice for many reasons. They are often good on gasoline, they are wide enough for several car seats across. They even sometimes have integrated car seats in the middle row. Mine has 2 of them. I can actually not have a free standing car seat in my car now. If they are forward facing they can flip the seat down and access the built in car seats.

Like this one in this picture. The seat can actually move/tilt back a bit so their head doesn't hang to the side when they doze off to sleep.

http://www.qualityvansales.com/images/seating/ICS.PDF

I know there are pro's and con's to both kinds of car seats but I love the integrated seats. I like being able to fold them up if I have grown ups going somewhere with me and not having to take the car to the car wash to vacuum and scrub out the seats under the car seats.

There are a lot of options out there that are not mini vans but truly, Suburban's, Tahoe's, other full size SUV's are the only other option for a family of your size and composite. This teen needs to have room to grow and be comfortable. If you put yourself in the back seat when riding and are completely comfortable then he should be comfortable too.

When you have a Minivan you will change your style. They are awesome and everyone can fit, plus more. Sell the car that will bring in the most money or trade in the car that is worth the most.

SUV's are nice and roomy. I like the Ford Escape, Honda Pilot, or, the Kia Sorento

Whoever drives the kids the most, needs to sell their car. (Common sense.) An SUV can have as much room as a minivan.

SO, in the future...simple and common sense issues like this can be solved with a conversation. What the heck kind of point is there, in an argument? There is no right and wrong here, just COMMON sense, and being an adult.

How about this, you are BOTH wrong for acting like children and needed to one up each other.

I would gladly trade in my 2 door coupe for a nice, spacious, modern minivan. What we like may not be what you like, so go try several vehicles out & see what works for you & what will fit everyone comfortably.

No one is right or wrong in your scenario. Someone needs to be the adult here. We're talking about cars, a material item, a thing. Who cares, at the end of the day? Do you want to argue about it, or do you want to have space? It just seems like such a trivial thing to fight about, and makes me wonder how you parent & have a harmonious household when you can't agree on this.

So both of you need to take a deep breath and put on your big kid breeches.

Mature adult answer -
(1) get rid of the car that has more miles, more likely to break down, less life in it for the long hual.
(2) Nobody "gets" the new or old car. Whomever is with the kids takes the new car, and the other person drives the old car. This is called sharing, and it is pretty vital within a marriage.
(3) For those who don't know it, an SUV is a passenger vehicle on a truck frame. Not everyone wants to wag around a truck or minivan, and with only 3 kids, you don't have to. My tiny 4 door ford escort fit 3 car seats in it (granted, it was a tight fit). Look at 4 door sedans, go test drive them. For a ford, I would consider the focus or the fusion. I would look on the websites of whatever car brand you prefer. I love ford and dodge, and I have driven more fords, but every company makes compact 4-door sedans. Look at what fits the budget (please say you have a joint budget!!!!) and what you are BOTH willing to drive. This is a car for BOTH of you, because you BOTH had sex, you BOTH conceived children, and you BOTH need to act like grown ups inorder to successfully parent said innocent bystanders.

Good luck and happy car shopping!

Sell the car that has the most resale value. Whether its yours or his doesn't matter. Your getting married right?? As far as a car----Honda Pilots are nice they hold I think 7 passengers. We are shopping for cars right now and are considering it. ( I don't want a minivan either~) Good luck!

The car you sell doesn't matter whose it is. It should be the one with a good resale value, one that you can trade in for a good deal. Unless the other car is on it's last legs, then maybe get rid of that one. Just figure out which is best to keep and don't worry about whose car it is. You guys will simply have to shuffle them if needed and make do. Like Julie said, the main transporter of the kids is the one who should get the new kid ride.

We just got a 2004 Volvo v70 wagon, it fits all 3 seats back there and is pretty nice. Should be enough room for 2 car seats and a growing teenager.

I don't think there is a right or wrong here. I feel that whomever will have the kids the most needs the new car. So if you are a SAHM, then you need the new car the most.

Don't hate on minivans. I have a Murano because my daughter is 5'11 and could no longer fit her legs into the backseat of our Altima with her other 2 siblings. We used to rent a minivan when were went on vacations because of the space. Each girl got their own row. We had space for a cooler inside the van which also doubled as a card table.

With the Murano, we have driven from GA to NYC. No cooler inside the cab. Can't fit. That means we have to stop the car to get a snack or make a sandwich. Plus, every one is stuck on the one back seat. So you know they are crowded in. No elbow room makes them cranky. The one thing is that we look GOOD driving down the road to people we don't know and who don't care how uncomfortable we are. IJS.

So guess what, we still ended up renting a minivan bcause it is just more comfortable.

With two carseats you will soon learn that getting your little ones in and out will be a big deal. You will have to become a contortionist just to buckle them in. Why not make your life easier with a huge sliding door you can easily get in and out of the back with? Give your oldest daughter her own space in the car where she is not stuck in the middle of two carseats!

Do like most parents. Get the nice car when the kids leave the house.

Have fun car buying.

Hi K.,

If you are the one transporting the kids most of the time, you should probably get another vehicle. It's not easy to get one child in and out of a carseat in a two-door car, let alone twins. And then you have a teen in the middle!

Some type of SUV would work if you don't want a minivan. Not knowing your budget, it's hard to recommend one particular type, but there are so many SUVs in all sizes and budgets that would hopefully work for you and your family. Just start looking online to get some basic information about various vehicles, and go from there.

Congratulations on all the good things happening in your life!

J. F.

Stop worrying about who is right and who is wrong. Like others said, probably neither of you is right. Even if one is, trying to prove it won't matter.

I agree. Keep the car that will last longer - or whichever one makest he most financial sense for you. Whoever is driving the kids the most should drive the new one - of course you can just take turns.

There are lots of options. I chose a small SUV that I love (Subaru). There are also some great 4 door sedan options. I love the idea of taking the carseats and seeing - really that is the only way to know. Maybe try driving a minivan. With 3 kids it might be a good option and maybe you won't hate it if you try. If you do, at least you know.

Keep the car with the highest resell value over the next 2-3 years. Car dealers are hungry for buyers so roll the car that won't have that into your bid for trade into the new car. That way you’re not losing ground. You can always take both to Carmax to see what that will be as of today and then check KBB (Kelly blue book) for what the average depreciation has been for your car over the last 2-3 years.
The GMC Acadia has bench and bucket seating which would be great for a growing family. Then you can decide which is best for the car seats and your growing teenager does not have to feel crammed.
Also the Acura MDX and Buick Enclave have similar seating. MDX has the best turn radius, with Acadia a very close second. As far as best sleep for a baby, you may want to look to the MDX or Enclave as their ambient lighting is more soothing than the red found in the Acadia.
All are great vehicles though.
Happy Shopping!

I would go with an SUV - sounds like you need a 3rd row! :)

SUV for sure, they are the modern day minivan.

I would look at which car is worth more, and who really wants a new car. I personally would want it, but that's just me. I also drive the most and take the kids places. It depends on that. Do some research, maybe you both should get new cars? Remember, new doesn't have to be brand new, just new to you.

What about a wagon? Volvo, Subaru, and Saab all make good wagons, some even have the seat in the back for a third row, or you can have one put in . I have a wagon and I love it! Also, I have a Saab 9000, the older style, and it has so much room that 2 carseats and a teen will fit in the back. The same would go for a Toyota Avalon or maybe even a Camry. Take the carseats with you and put them in and out a few times. Also, remember that they will only be in infant seats for a little while. These with the bases actually seem to take up more square footage than a combination or booster seat.

I just got a Dodge Jouney and LOVE it! It's big enough for the kids but not to big...I traded in my caliber for it.