Car Seat Troubles - Chisago City,MN

Updated on September 07, 2012
V.K. asks from Chisago City, MN
15 answers

Oliver will be 2 in October, and is still in a rear facing car seat. He doesn't fuss, and knows to bend or cross his legs to be comfortable. I prefer that he stay rear facing for as long as possible simply because I feel that it is safer. However, EVERYONE ELSE wants him in a front facing care seat... My mom, my MIL, and even my husband (Oliver's dad). Their reasons are that they think he is bored (He has a few toys that we keep in the car, and doesn't fuss so I don't think he's bored) and that he is simply old enough and big enough to be front facing.

I'm tired of having this argument, and am interested to hear your opinions. What do you think? Keep him rear facing or switch him to front facing?

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J.M.

answers from Chattanooga on

Just tell them that you won't compromise his safety for the sake of boredom.

I could understand if he was pitching a fit or something, but it sounds like he's content rear-facing!

Personally, I am in the rear-face as long as possible camp... :)

3 moms found this helpful

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K.L.

answers from Cleveland on

I've got people fighting with me about keeping my 15 month old rear facing! They think it's ridiculous that I am following the new guidelines and that "every other kid has been just fine" forward facing at a year or YOUNGER. Well, no, the ones who have died in car accidents as a result of internal decapitation because they were forward facing too early were not just fine. Per my son's pediatrician he needs to be rear facing until at LEAST two, and as long as possible. As he said "Our Children's Hospital has amazing surgeon's that can repair broken legs as a result of an accident, but we just haven't found a surgeon that can sew a head back on". 'Nuff said as far as I'm concerned.

Despite what other's tell me, I will ALWAYS err on the side of caution when it comes to my children. Think I'm crazy or not, if the guideline is at least 2, then at least 2 it shall be. As long as your son is not throwing a holy fit every time you put him in the car and you have a car seat that fits his weight and height and can be rear facing, I say keep doing what you are doing to protect your son. Good job, mama!

**ETA**
For those who say it is uncomfortable for them, or that they could break their legs, please do your research. I felt this way too, until I decided to really find out WHY the guidelines changed. I thought it was silly until I did my research, and now my mind is changed.

If I were to be involved in a serious crash, I would much rather have a child with two terribly broken legs than a child with a broken neck, back, or did not survive the crash. In serious crashes, children under the age of 2 are 75% more likely to survive a crash than children who are forward facing (per the American Academy of Pediatrics).

I believe it was Sweden who made it law that all children rear face until 4 years of age. Sounds crazy, I know, however, their birth - preschool age deaths due to car accidents are almost 0% now.

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S.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I don't know the rules, other than rear as long as possible, but that will depend on the seat height and weight limits. What I do know that this is one of those area where adults push their feelings onto your child. Your husband or in laws might be bored in a rear facing seat, sure. But so what? He's a child. It's like saying babies should eat solids at 2 weeks because it must be boring to only have milk.

Do what you think is safest based on your own research and feelings. This will not be the first time that someone will try to make you question your parenting judgement. It's good practice for saying "Thanks for your idea..." and then do what you want

Car safety is pet peeve of mine. I let my oldest stay in a five point harness for a long time since that too is safest. I figured, based on other parents "opinions" that I would fight the babyish stereotype about it with my child at some point. However, she has never once complained, and she's 8. She isn't a baby, doesn't act like one, and feel like one. So, no harm and it is safer for her. I work in highway safety, and I am the one who has to live with the consequences of my decisions - no one else.

Good luck.

4 moms found this helpful
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M.G.

answers from Seattle on

Do not listen to people who state that keeping him rear facing is not safer because IT IS SAFER! Keep him rear facing for as long as possible. Sadly in the US most car seat manufacturers do not create seats that are able to keep kids rear facing past 2 however so long as he has not outgrown his seat keep him the way he is. It is much safer to have a broken leg or two than a child with a broken neck - or worse.

Stay strong in your convictions about keeping him rear facing and do not listen to anyone who says that he needs to forward facing. You know what is best for your child.

3 moms found this helpful
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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I would keep him RF as long as he isn't complaining and it's safe for his seat. I would show the other people who are complaining the current guidelines and I would ask them what in the world their problem is if the CHILD has no problem? My DD is 4, weighs 31lbs and still RF in her Marathon. I would ask them why this bothers them so much? I really don't understand. I had a friend get really testy, like I was somehow saying she was a bad parent for not RF her son longer. I wasn't even talking about her kid! I was talking about mine. I think sometimes it's a personal issue and not about the kid or kid's safety. You're fine, yes? He's fine, yes? What's their deal then?

FWIW, there are a lot of parenting things, like earrings for example, that I let DH win because he cares more. I told him that RF DD was a hill I was willing to die on so unless he had a better argument than I did, DD was staying RF to the limit of her seat. I'd rather a broken leg than a broken neck.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Technically, you can keep him rear-facing until he reaches the rear-facing weight limit of the car seat.

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M.M.

answers from Detroit on

I think I recently read that they are now recommending to keep kids rear facing until age 4. It has to do with their spinal cords not being fully fused until that time (or something like that). The main point is that the longer you can keep them rear-facing, the safer they will be in a crash. This site has a good explanation: http://www.car-safety.org/rearface.html

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M.K.

answers from Stationed Overseas on

I say if he's (the child) comfortable and has no complaints than what's the big deal. It has been proven over and over again that rear facing is safer. I would rather have a child with a broken leg than a broken neck. There are plenty of videos on Youtube that will make you think twice about forward facing a young child. As I just reread your post your family wants you to turn him around so he does start to fuss? If my kids were silent in the car I would jump for joy LOL. The age and size of the child has nothing to do with foward facing. It has everything to do with the impact of a crash.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I can't address the rear facing issue. If dad wants to make him front facing let him do that in his car. You can keep him rear facing in yours. I moved each and every one of ours to front facing at age 1 and each of them to boosters at 3. It was so easy to just do it and not look back. We've had some crashes but none of them have been where we hit walls or flipped. I think if something like that happens there isn't much hope anyway.

So you do what you feel is best. Let others do what they think is best. He is his father's son too so he should have equal say.

1 mom found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

Talk to your pediatrician. I get the rear-facing for safety - however, if your son does things like cross his legs or bend them? he is NOT safe...if you get rear-ended, his legs can crush his chest from impact.

Call your local police department...ask them to do a safety check with Oliver in the seat...if they say FINE - then you have proof from a safety official..if they say - UNSAFE...then you need to fix it NOW...

I cannot imagine keeping my children rear facing for 2 years...I would NEVER want them to sit cross-legged or bent just to appease me.

If it was MY child? they would be switched for forward facing.

1 mom found this helpful

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Child seat safety laws in MN say keep them rear facing until they are 2. Should you keep them that way after they are 2? I don't know. But I'm an insurance agent and this is a sore subject with me. I say you do whatever is safest for them. Not sure keeping them rear facing is the safest after age 2, as their legs are up against the back of the seat and could cause them to be broken in the event of a serious accident. And injuries to legs could cause permanent damage. Just something to think about. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.B.

answers from Eau Claire on

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8gU9zzCGA8
(I don't have sound at work, but the pictures are enough to scare me!)

There's a video with an 18 month old (33 pounds) who broke his neck in a forward facing seat.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

The latest is rear facing until 2. No way would my kids been able to do that. Everyone in my family n my husbands is 6 ft to 6 ft. 6 in. That includes women. My kids were huge. Very, very tall!

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E.D.

answers from Madison on

I don't have the exact link but there are videos out there showing the dangers of small children forward facing. I was sent one once through a group and knew I would rear face as long as I could seeing how injured a little body could be ith the impact in a crash. Maybe look for one and show those who a fighting your view. That should be all that is needed to stop them from having such a strong opinion. My son is not 2 yet but big at 27 pounds and 34 in. And he is still fine rear facing :). Good luck!

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S.G.

answers from Rapid City on

All carseats have recommendations on everything from rearfacing to harness weight. What I was told when asking about my granddaughter's harness which is up to 40 pounds and she is just now 40 pounds at 5 years old. I was told that it is only tested for up to 40 pounds and that is the only way we could be sure she would be safe with that carseat. My daughter in law likes the harness and so do I but if there is a chance she is not going to be held in, it is better to follow recommendations. I know it is safer for rear facing for as long as possible but things to concider is when they can sit comfortably that way. Having to cross his legs to fit in the rear facing carseat is not safer. Short trips are probably not going to bother him but if he is sitting that way for prolonged period of times, it could cause some muscle problems that will show up as he grows. My granddaughter always sat in the W position when she was playing on the floor and she has trouble with one foot turning in. We didn't know it was harming her, she seemed comfortable. It is better to turn him to the front, put him in the middle of the seat and keep his harness fitting him properly. That is my opinion anyway, if you doubt it go to the police department and find out who is the expert on child carseats. They should be able to tell you the safest way. Also talk with your doctor and see if it could cause damage to his growing body.

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