My son is almost 5 mos old. He sleeps well at night....9 hours. I have tried to stick to a concrete nap schedule during the day. He is exclusively breast fed since birth. He only sleeps around 30-45min naps two or three times a day. He has always typically been a self soother...sometimes mildly cries it out. He does wonderfully at night going to sleep after our routine. He only wakes one time typically at night for nursing too.
Lately, my son has been throwing a major fit at nap time....as I place him in his crib...he begins his ritual of crying...screaming...pushing his head into bumper pads...kicking...arching his back...This all could last 20min or more. I cannot do the CIO very well. When I tried this weeks ago...I would only allow 15min at the most. Now...I have increased it to 20min...but, my son still cries and cries. I went in this morning...nursed him...then he would pull off cry frantically...(overtired)....and such. I then would put him back in his crib....I use crib toys...music, humidifier, pacifier...ect. He still screams and is unhappy. He did eventually fall asleep this morning after two bouts of CIO. I am so dreading the afternoon naps. I don't want him to spill out this behavior into his great sleeping nights. Does anyone have any ideas for CIO children? Does it really adjust after 3 days? Am I ruining my son...by letting him get so upset? HELP!?
Oh...I have tried altering the nap schedule. I put son down at first signs of tired...ie: usually 2-3hours...most of the time 1 1/2 to 2 hours after awake...he only is doing the 30-40min naps though.
As for teething??? He has bumps on lower gums...chewing, ect...since around 2mos...no teeth though. He had ear pressure....I found out at a Dr. appt over the weekend. They did give me some antibiotics to prevent croup (since my 2yr had it and such)...My 5 mos old was getting better though (in regards to sleeping better at night). Anyway, I have tried everything. Should I give him medicines every time before a nap or at night? I just am going crazy with his scream/cry. For instance, today...20-30min of crying and upset...morning nap (did not happen until after CIO...around 9:15am)...then afternoon nap (noon...and did not cry much at all)...last nap around 2pm...and up from 2:30pm until 6:30pm (I tried putting son down around 4:30pm for a fourth nap)...crying/ect. He was of course tired too. This is crazy. Will he learn to sleep again on his own? Teething is not even bad yet. UGH!
Thank you everyone for your kind information and thoughts. Matthew is still having some issues. I think mainly that it is just his age. He is not wanting to be in for a nap when it is nap time. I have him on antibiotics (5 days now)...just started taking baby probiotics (acidolpholus)? I am giving him homeopathic teething drop(if that is the issue). Nursing him to sleep...as much as I can...however, once I lay him in his crib...awake!!! I don't think that he is ready for just one nap...or even just two naps...I am a scheduler...but, it does not always work either. I feel horrible for letting him CIO...any amount of time (I hope that I have not ruined him the times that I have just let him cry)...when nothing else worked! I also have a 2 1/2 year (in diapers) that I have to tend to also...so CIO sometimes just happens. Matthew does not have reflux (tried giving him mylanta as per the PEDIATRICIAN...did not change his crying/arching (and it should). Anyways...I guess that he just gets overtired at times or just does not want to be in his crib. UGH! Thanks again for all your support and encouragement.
Get the book the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. It is great and helps a lot. I have used it with my second baby (6 months) and wish I had it with the first (3 years old). Good luck!
5 months is pretty early for him to be transitioning to one nap... that usually happens around 13-18 months. It's probably teething or he's getting ready for a developmental milestone, or is experiencing some separation anxiety.
Elizabeth Pantley's book (I see that someone else mentioned it) is really good for techniques that don't force your little one to cry it out. Another one I like is "Good Night, Sleep Tight" by Kim West and Joanne Kenen. (They've got some info at www.sleeplady.com.)
I sometimes give my 9-month-old Ibuprofen and use a topical numbing gel. The numbing gel helps 'til the Ibuprofen kicks in, and my son sometimes drops off just *minutes* after the gel. (And that's one way to know for SURE that it's teething.)
Could he be having some upset tummy issues? Just tossing that out there since he's unhappy once you lay him down. Maybe check if his tummy's hard & watch for any arching. Could be reflux or a food intolerance.
Best of luck... hope you get him back on schedule soon!
YOU ARE NOT ruining your son by letting him cry for a bit, not at all.
He is still young however and maybe only needs two naps a day. Try rearranging the times and make sure he is tired but not overly. Make sure he has a full belly and is changed, lay him down, rock him for a minute, put on some soft music and whisper "night night" and walk out.
If he screams, then go back in and say it again and walk out, each time letting it be longer before you go back in.
It is time to get the bumpers out of the crib too, they are dangerous now and shouldn't be in especially if he is able to scoot himself around. My daughter got her head stuck underneath between the slats and it terrified me, my Pediatrician told me to not even put them in for my son, that they are another hazard, they can crawl up on them, gives them leverage to get out, they can get stuck on them or up against them. They like to look around and the bumpers also inhibit that and I think probably would be scary feeling so isolated when they lay down.
Being he is almost five mos old, try increasing his intake of breast milk too, even putting it in a bottle so you see how much he is getting. Growth spurts and even teething can start this age. My daughter got her first teeth at five mos. See if he has swollen gums is drooling a lot and try teething tablets when you lay him down to calm him down. They are natural and dissolve very easily. Even Motrin.
You are lucky he sleeps so well at night, but at almost 5 mos he may just need two good naps a day.
Hang in there, it will pass and no you aren't a meanie for letting him cry if you know all his needs are met. I didn't do CIO until mine were 6 mos of age, then I did it in increments.
Like others have said, he is at the age where he is probably ready to go down to just one nap a day. As for the crying it out, according to my ped, anytime before 1 year is too early to be letting your baby cry it out. They're too young to understand why your leaving them in there to cry. They have to know they can trust you and the way to show them that they can is by comforting them when they cry. That's how they tell you that you need something and if you don't meet that need even if it's just comfort that they need, then they feel they can't trust you to take care of thier needs. I say don't let him cry it out. He's still just so little and he doesn't get what you're doing.
Our daughter did that at about the same age. Turns out she wanted to eat. Once we started cereal, she was just fine. I think it was the frustration of not being satisfied. Her sleep habits returned back to normal as soon as we started the cereal. Teething is another possibility. All my kids have had teeth by the time they were your son's age.
Has he been assessed for colic or acid reflux? It could contribute, though I don't know if the day vs night sleeping indicates. But it wouldn't hurt to ask about it.
Dear M.,
I feel for you...you aren't alone. I'm going through the same issues right now with my almost 4 month old daughter. I'm a moderate when it comes to the whole CIO issue. I think patting reassurance when they cry is the way to go. She has to cry, it's her way of expressing her frustration at not wanting or knowing how to do something (go to sleep on her own). I have read (per The Baby Sleep Sight) that if your baby is only sleeping 30 to 45 minutes they are still tired and not getting a true "restorative nap." They say a baby this age needs 1 to 2 hours of sleep to feel good and not be over-tired. Perhaps your son is fighting it so hard because he isn't actually getting enough sleep time. Every sight I've gone to says that babies around this age need 10-12 hours a night and then around 4-5 hours of naptime. I think the cat-naps aren't cutting it which is half the problem. My sister-in-law says "good sleep begets good sleep" - which seems to be the thinking of many experts as well (even with differing philosophies). Though I have no proof of this I'm taking it to heart because recently my daughter (who developmentally at this stage is become a lighter sleeper the way adults are) has begun waking up after only 30 or 45 min. naps (sleep cycles) I KNOW she is still tired...she smiles but is still yawning and has the tired-eyed look. The Baby Sleep Sight expert claims that they don't yet know how to get themselves back to sleep and that they WILL have to cry a little to get through this akward stage. I wonder if the amount of time it takes for our kids to go to sleep (after crying) will gradually decrease if we stick it out. Let them cry (if they are crying they are breathing) and reassure them with rythmic rubs or pats until they finally slow down, sigh and drift off. My daughter was falling asleep during day-time nursing and I think this was part of the problem...she is now needing to learn how to fall back to sleep without the boobie all the time. So...I'm working on separating that association (nursing and sleep). Do you "nurse him down" at night? I wonder if this is in conflict with his daytime routine. I wish you luck...and support...It's really hard isn't it?!
There might be more going on here. A few things come to mind, teething, it can be worse when trying to lay a child down. Ears, sometimes kids seem ok during the day, but yet again laying them down brings out the worst. Try a little Tylenol/Ibuprophen right before naps, this will help you see what is going on. Also at this stage they become so much more inquisitive, and naps just take away from all the fun:).
I am not a fan of CIO, but I don't think kids are harmed for life if a parent does choose to do it. I just find it sad that a childs cries aren't being answered when they feel they need something, doesn't matter if it seems "unimportant/small" to us. It is a big deal to them.
I also think there can be a compromise between those who do, and those who don't and are uncomfortable with it. Instead of just leaving the room, stay by his side, saying nothing, maybe a rub on the back, but not a lot of interaction, just so he knows you are there for him.
Good luck!
My daughter was 4 months old when she started changing her sleep habits and went to a single nap a day, plus because she was teething, she really wanted to break off nursing but wouldn't take a bottle. My pediatrician said that some of us just don't need as much sleep as others.
I let her go down to one nap a day in the middle of the day, and at 4 months, she wanted solid foods from our plates, so I bought a little device that would puree our food from our plates and started her on vegetables and mashed potatoes first, then other foods, gradually adding a new food every few days since she handled it well and had no reaction.
I struggled with letting her quit nursing, finally let her quit at 8 months, though I should have done it sooner for our sanity but she was my first, so I didn't want to, especially since she wouldn't take a bottle. But her dexterity was good enough and she took a cup very well from 4 months, so it worked out. My insistence that she continue nursing those last few months caused sleep issues, irritability, fussiness at bedtime, fighting bedtime and so forth.
Some children just want to grow up sooner and she was one of those according to my pediatrician at the time.
Did you say he doesn't cry at night? If he does, it could be his ears.
Also,kids this age are more aware of their surroundings. He might not want to "Miss anything" I would keep letting him cry it out. Keep putting the pacifier back into his mouth. My kids stopped taking so many naps during the day at this age and while it was really hard because they were over tired, it stopped the crying. Keep trying to find something that will help him self soothe. Good luck!!!
