My child is nearly three-year old. He always burst into crying when he can’t do something better, such as folding his small quilt, and he refuses other people’s help. Is it good? And what should I do?
he's frustrated and doesn't yet have the vocabulary to express it. stay calm and understanding. don't force your help on him. he's figuring out how to order his world. be his cheerleader and facilitator, and make sure you're a calming influence when he melts down.
khairete
S.
This is pretty typical behavior for a 3 year old. My oldest grandson just turned three and he can melt down over just about anything!! What works the best with him if for his Mom and Dad to stay calm, speak to him in a quiet calm voice and acknowledge his feelings. ("I know that you are feeling frustrated and a little angry because you can't fold that quilt just like you want. What do you think you might be able to do to make it go better?)
Don't offer to "HELP"....offer suggestions...."I wonder if it might make it easier if you laid it out on the floor and matched up the corners?" Help him start using his problem solving skills. You aren't going to be able to shield him from frustration and disappointment but you can help him learn how to deal with it constructively when it happens. This is just one of the many skills that he needs to learn as he grows into an adult!!
Welcome to the tumultous threes!! lol But it is also the TERRIFIC Threes...such great fun!!!
My son (2.5) used to do this. He'd get so frustrated.
We just told him over and over again to use his words and ask for help. Then, once he calmed down after awhile, we'd show him how to do it.
Made a big difference.
Ask him if you can help, if not let him work it through. My grand son was just like that, very serious about accomplishment, where as his twin sister was not. He is eight now, and still serious, and straight A student. It is just his way. We ask- can I help, often "no", and he works it out.
Also we found if he ate sugar that the crying was more often, so my daughter pretty much got that out of the house. Tough but helped.
best, k
It's a 3 year old thing. My 4 1/2 yo went through it and my 3yo is going through it now. It will pass as he matures.
It is neither good or bad I think it is typical. The best thing you can do is not to do it for him but guide him and give him suggestions. When he is trying to fold a small quilt, you get one do it beside him and go step by step with him. My son was the same way and I wish I knew these things then. He was such a perfectionist in everything he did he drove us crazy. I think if I had the tools then I could have helped him earlier. I would just do it for him to calm him down, now I realize it was only reinforcing his insecurities. By allowing him to keep trying and succeeding it will build his confidence and give him the ability to handle challenges. I learned this later in life when I went for my Montessori degree, and saw the different philosophy of teaching . Montessori is child directed, not teacher directed, therefore the child teaches himself and the teacher will only help when the child really needs the help. Letting children find their own way, and do things for themselves builds confidence and confident learners. Like I said I wish I had know this when my son was younger, but the mommy in me took over and just wanted to make things easier for him and help his frustration. We live and learn right!!! Great post!!!!
Comfort him which I am very sure that you do and make sure he knows that he will get better each time he does it. Maybe even grab a different blanket and show him an easier way or how you do it. He might see it differently he might not but patience with him and positive feedback is what he needs to hear from you. Hope that helps
