Child Is Not Crawling

I have a 9 month old who just began to crawl three days ago. I was concerned that it took her so long, but so many people told me (including doctors) that crawling is not considered a mile stone and some children never crawl. I wouldn't worry about it.

I have seen several kids who bypass crawling altogether. Some scoot. My niece even bypassed that and just walked around w/ her parents' hands holding her up. She just wanted to walk like a big person, at 6months! Eventually, she did learn to walk on her own, and life is good again.
If you want to try "motivating", how about planting little favorite toys at a spot far & close enough that he may try to get at it? Probably would be most successful in the middle of the morning (the happiest part of the day).

he has plenty of time! My son didn't start until 10 months now he's all over the place. You'll notice the signs of a beginner's crawl: the rocking back and forth on hands and knees. Don't complain...once he starts he'll be all over the place. Give him til a year old :-) My son's a year now.

I agree that all kids are different.... however if your child does have a delay...it's time to start early intervention. Because all kids are different you need to check it out not wait and see.

My daughter didn't crawl until about 10.5 months and walked at 13 months. He'll do it in his own time! The screaming is separation anxiety...I went through that also. Your not alone!

I dont want to scare you but have you talked to the Ped about refuring you to a developmental Ped maybe someone at Kennedy Krieger the not crawling in itself wouldnt worrie my my younger son who is fine and 8 now didnt walk till he was 18 months old because he was a very chubby child and his legs whouldnt hold him up . Now the screaming and crying and not walking put together would concern me Has he missed any other milestons I ask this because i am the parent of a child with Autism whos doctor didnt even see the signs till he was 4 yrs old so even doctors can miss important signs I would definately talk to the ped about a refural

Neither my son or daughter crawled until they were a year old. They didn't walk until they were 14 months old. If you are at work all day and only have evenings to spend with him then it sounds to me like he misses you and wants you all to himself. Little boys love their moms. Enjoy holding him. When he is eight he will barely acknowledge you in public.

A lot of babies never crawl and just begin to walk a little later. Just give him time to figure it out. Babies do things at different times and in different ways. I have three kids and they have all gone through times of crying and wanting to be held. My approach is to hold them and comfort them whenever possible. I don't think he is crying because he wants you to do the work for him. I think he just needs that extra affection and holding right now.

Hi D.... I'm a mom of four, not a professional but some kids are late crawlers, some are early.. Thats not something to worry about.. but my question is... what does he like?? Is there a special toy or something? and if you placed it on the floor, and him on the floor within 3 feet of it(& he could see it)-- would he try to get it? If he doesn't see something and show interest in it-- I would say that you are gonna have a lot of work to do with him.... Still doesn't mean a disorder... but its not a good thing...

My son was like that when he was younger. He crawled a little later and didn't walk until he was about 17 months. He loved (still loves) being held. He's 5 now. And I really don't think that his walking and crawling "later" made him any different than his younger brother who was walking at 10 months! For me, it was easier to let them be themselves and go with it. Is there a reason you want him to crawl now? Is it because you think he should? I found that if I compared my kids to each other or other children I'd feel more frustrated than if I compared them to themselves.
And I'm saying this assuming that your doctor has said he's okay....

One of my sons did not crawl till nearly a year old. I was told that they have their own timetable for development and mobility. Who knew?? The little fellow didn't walk till 18 months. But I was partly at fault. He had colic as a little one and I had carried him in a Snugli most of my waking hours. He never had the chance to learn to move on his own because he never had the opportunity.. Have your son checked out medically, then let him be on the floor as much as possible. He may cry in the evenings for other reasons entirely. S. S

There is a book called No Cry Sleep Solution that you might find very helpful. There is also one that is specially written for toddlers.

Some kids skip crawling and just go on to walking (at around 12 mos). If you're concerned mention it to your pediatrician. But keep in the back of your head that this could be normal for him.

Hi D.,

My daughter did not crawl until after she took her first steps at 12 months. It is not unusual! For my daughter, she began talking at 10 months old. "They" say that your baby typically focuses in on one task and masters that before trying a new one, ie. manipulating toys, crawling, walking, talking. If your son doesn't begin walking by a year, consult your pediatrician at his one year check up. But from all the babies/parents I know, there is no cause for concern!

As for him wanting to be held all of the time, our babies go through phases. And if you have a parenting book (I am not a fan of parenting books... but they can be a useful resource at times) you will see that your baby goes through attachment phases as he grows. I can't remember at what ages this is, but I think I remember 10 months being one. In time, he will not want to be held because he is so busy exploring (or maybe you have already experienced this some).

I know it can be hard when our babies seem to regress and require so much from us. But keep in mind that he WILL reach his milestones and before you know it he will be all grown and won't need you as much. I try to remind myself of this when I am exhausted by my children's phases.

My daughter is 4 now and she still goes through phases where she wants me next to her everywhere she goes. I think they just need a little reassurance at certain times that we will be there no matter what... even when we are exhausted!

I guess I don't have any real suggestions to give you in reference to how to help him through this phase other than to be next to him so that he knows you are always going to be thee for him. And in time he will gain more confidence to explore on his own again.

Keep it up! You are doing a great job! Being a mommy is challenging sometimes but you will get through this.

D.--my name is H. and I am the proud mother of a 7y.o. and 9m.o. boys(who both started crawling around 7months). I have also been to Nursing School and know that the norm for crawling is 12months!! Walking is written as 15-18months!! Don't worry if your Pediatrician says his growth and developement in other areas is OK. Watch him from the floor..can he sit up by himself or w/ a little help? Can he push his upper body off the floor w/ his arms or pull himself across the floor (army crawl) w/ his arm/arms? Ask your MD about his developement and see what they say.
My son is very clingy right now, also. They are starting to be afraid of strangers and want only close contact with their caretakers. It's healthy and needed so they won't go to anyone who picks them up. It is tiring, I agree!! Know, as helpful or not, that he sounds pretty normal to me. Good luck...I'd be glad to answer any other ??'s you have! :) peace,H.:)

Hello D.,

Nope I have a different recommendation. He is 9.5 months, he should be strong enough to crawl, sounds like he isn't motivated. Here is what I would do. Go about your business, where he can either see you or hear you, but definantly so he can get to you if he wanted so be on the same floor as him. Let him scream all he wants, walk over so he can see that you are checking on him, then go back to your business. He will get tired of the lack of attention and he will come get you. Crawl, roll, walk, he will get there. Then give him your undivided attention. Sounds like he is monopolizing your attention. True hold him to your hearts content, but you are also supposed to be looking out for his future. Doing for himself and analyzing things is going to build pathways in his brain making it easier for him to learn and comprehend things later. And creating a spoiled monster that simply has to scream to get his mommy is more than likely gonna bite you in the rear at the store when he is 3, worse yet 8!
I do have one question, do you crawl in front of him? I used to crawl in front of my kids, they could see how its done, and my husband used to get them up on their knees and kinda help them mimic the motions of crawling. He just might not know how to do it.

I'm sure you've heard this a million times, but don't worry too much. Also, don't compare your son to another child his age that is a girl. 'They say' that girls develop faster. I know what you're going through, my son did the same thing. He is now 18 months and running around like a maniac, so enjoy this time when you don't have to constantly chase him. He was a little over a year before he really got up, unattended, and walked. I cried like a baby. You know one thing that worked for my son Dylan was to get on the floor and crawl around like you want him to do. I say that assuming he is like my child and will watch you and likes to mimic.
I don't know if anything I said helped in anyway, I wish you the best of luck and let me know how it goes. By the way, I love the name Hayden :)

D.,

don't worry... i think this is pretty common. My daughter (now nearly three) went through a phase like this at about the same age. she didn't crawl (up on all fours, belly off the floor) until she begain walking. she would ROLL everywhere she wanted to go, or "comando crawl" using arms only. likewise, if i was around, she wanted to be held and carried all the time.

my son, now 7 months, is starting the same thing w/ being carried & snuggled.

unless he's showing signs of discomfort or pain, or is showing other developmental problem, i wouldn't worry too much.

~ T. D

I would not worry abour it. My daughter never crawled. She didn't sit up on her own until 8 mo., and started walking at 10 1/2 mo. She is 2 now and never did crawl. Hope this helps..

Are you working? If so, he probably wants that closeness to you in the evenings.

Nine months is really early for walking. Crawling is not a milestone. Not all children do it.

D., my son didn't walk until 22 months, and he didn't even cruise. He could crawl and roll and was fast at that, but was delayed at that, too. One day he literally just stood up and walked. He had to be held, too.

We found out later that he had Sensory Integration Disorder and didn't like how the floor felt on his feet. Every time we'd hold him so he could put his feet on the floor, he'd pull them up. It was funny at first and then as he grew older, not so much.

We had him evaluated because he also had speech delay and they told us to try "walking" with him, one parent holding one hand firmly, one parent on the other side holding the other firmly (the firmness to him was security, he likes firm holds, not light) and try walking, and that worked.

Best of luck!

get an MRI to make sure nothing is wrong, then uif he is ok dont give in.

D.,
My son did the same thing. He is my second and I thought he would just want to be mobile to be with my 3 year old but no such luck. I spent alot of time on the floor with him and wouldn't pick him up even though he would cry. Eventually he became interested in "crawling toys" like interesting balls or things that move. It took a while and I was a bit worried and frustrated that he was not even interested in moving but he has been crawling for around two weeks now (right after 9.5 months)and I have to baby proof. I hope it helps. D.

D., a friend of mine went through something similar. Her daughter didn't crawl until about 11 months and didn't walk until well after she turned 1. She first had the baby checked by the doctor, who said there were no developmental problems. Then she just had to wait. Her daughter pretty much got up and walked, very well too, when she was ready--at about 14 months! If your son is healthy and has no developmental issues, ask your doctor whether this may just be a case of a child who isn't ready to crawl yet.He may surprise you, too -- my own child did very little crawling before she started walking, and I know other parents whose kids crawled very little, and fairly late, and then just went on to walking.The key is to have the doctor check the baby for any physical or developmental issues now. As for the wanting to be held every evening, that sounds very typical; the baby's still young enough to want to be held a lot. Lots of babies and older kids too go through bedtime phases that change, including bedtime insecurities that eventually fade. Every year since she was born (and she's almost 7 now) my daughter has gone through bedtime phases ranging from doing fine at quickly "putting herself to sleep" to an intense need for me to be in the room to a need for music to get to sleep. Maybe try putting on soothing instrumental CD that's reserved only for bedtime (use the same one every night); go ahead and hold the baby if that's what he needs, and eventually maybe the sound of the music will help him relax and you'll spend less time in the holding stage. Another thing that worked for us at the 9-months stage was my putting the baby in the crib, but sitting next to the crib, reaching through the slats and gently laying one hand on her arm or leg until she was asleep. We graduated from that to her just going to sleep when put down. Hope this helps somehow.

Hi D.!

My son is 9 months and is not crawling either. My pediatrician says that the important thing is that he's mobile in some way...rolling, scooting, etc. If he's not doing these things, you may want to talk to your doctor. As far as the crying, many babies are fussy in the evenings. Maybe try to let him rest in his crib or take an afternoon nap. My son takes two naps during the day and then one again in the evening before dinner.

Good luck!

Hi D., my little girl just started crawling last weekend and she'll be eleven months this Valentine's! So just hang in there! Ask your doc definitely. I did get one recommendation to call infant & toddler program but just didn't agree w my spirit and no one other nurse or doc I saw said I should. Smthg told me she was just lazy, everything else was normal. So hang in there it will come, and she's not even excited about it, only does it still for a purpose. Enjoy your lil one!

I have not gone through it (yet). I am expecting my first child in May. Remember, all kids develop in slightly different ways and timing. Some parents have told me their child never crawled and one day, he just walked! I can only imagine how frustrating it could be. Hang in there.

Hi D.

My son is 11 months and just began crawling about a week ago. As other people have said, some never crawl and some only do for small periods before pulling up to stand/walk. No worries 9.5 months is still on target and he will when he is ready.

As for him screaming when you put him down...honestly if he is fed, changed, and safe - sometimes you just need to let him yell a bit. He will need to realize that you can't always hold him. On the other hand - enjoy holding him now cause soon you'll want too and he will want to be left to his toys :)

Hi D.. My son is now nearly three, but I remember clearly having the same concerns when he was that age and more. He, in fact, NEVER crawled! But he started walking at about 11 months, with the help of furniture. He skipped the whole 'crawling phase' altogether. My theory at the time was that he was a very 'round' (ok fat) baby, and it was hard for him to get in crawling positions and push himself up. We have all marble floors, so I think that added to his problem (slipping) and also kept me from wanting him to try to stand too much for fear of him falling on the hard marble, so I carried him around all the time, and I guess he got used to it.
He was using me as a 'taxi' all over the place and did not like it when I put him down either. Eventually I had to bite the bullet and let him scream a little and figure it out on his own. What helped was visiting my dad who had carpeting. I let him explore on his own and he started pulling up on the furniture. Once he saw what he could do, all he wanted to do was go go go! And I think it has never stopped since! I am expecting my second child now, and can barely keep up with the first! Dont worry- I am sure Hayden will have you running in no time, asking yourself " why was I in a rush to see him crawl??" ;-) Good luck!

I have a very simple solution. You HAVE to let him cry it out. He knows that you will eventually pick him up if he cries long enough. SO DON'T! It's tough, but it works. Just like with anything else, the first time you give in, you take 3 steps backwards....

I hope this helps,
T.

It sounds like your son is experiencing some separation anxiety and that is why he wants to be held all the time. Babies go through it many different times but 9 mths in a regular time to go through it. Hold him and love on him so he can work through this stage. My kids both wanted me to hold their hands and walk around the room. That is all normal too. Actually, that is how they learn to walk. This phase can last until 12 or 14 months when they start to walk on their own. I know it is h*** o* the back but I say be very patient, these times fly by even though it may feel like it is lasting forever. All the baby phases are temporary and usually when you think you can't do it another minute, they get over it and move onto something else. Cherish the moments....when they are gone, they are gone and you can't get them back. When he starts walking, you'll be wishing you could hold him again because he won't want to be held anymore!

My son did not crawl until 12 months, did not walk until 16 months, and just recently started talking. He's almost 2 years old.

Each child progresses on his/her own little schedule. As long as your pediatrician isn't worried, I wouldn't worry either.

There is something to be said for a baby who isn't mobile yet. Once they're on the move, better make sure the house is baby-proofed!

I wouldn't worry to much. My youngest daughter didn't start crawling until at least 10 months and she didn't walk until she was 17 months. I had taken her to the doctor and had x-rays done to see if there was something wrong with her hips and she was fine. She just didn't see the need to crawl or walk when most little ones do. She is 4 now and does both well so I wouldn't worry to much about it. Good Luck!

B.

My son, now almost 2 1/2 years old, didn't start crawling until he was almost 11 months and then walked after a year. I wouldn't worry about that so much. In fact, the doctor told us that crawling isn't considered a developmental milestone to walking. It is more important for them to walk then to crawl.

With the crying at night, he might be in a stage that he needs/wants your attention.

Is he cruising? My son did not start crawling until he was about a year old (He had actually taken his first steps before he crawled.) Until he started crawling, he got around by cruising on the furniture, walls, anything that he could keep himself up on.
I guess the only thing I have to say, is that some kids don't crawl until much later. It doesn't help with the frustration of having a child who wants to be held all of the time. Good luck, and remember, this will pass. It can't be that long that he will want to do this. (I mean, chances are that by the time he goes to middle school, he will no longer be so keen on you carying him everywhere.)

I have a 3 1/2 year old and an almost 1 year old. The older one never really crawled much, but when he started to walk at 11 months, he was off! He got around pretty well by rolling, actually, before he walked. Now my younger one really crawls a lot even though he's started to walk (chasing after big brother!) I think every kid is different. Both of them want to be held a great deal. I started having kids pretty late at 35, so I am happy to hold them as much as I can. It won't be long before a kiss from Mom is embarassing and they don't want anything to do with me. ;) I say, just enjoy each stage as it comes, realize that each child develops at his own pace, and yes, this too will pass. Sometimes before you want it to. I don't think 9 1/2 months is time to worry about being mobile. If your arms or back is aching, try a baby bjorn pack or a sling, or a backpack. I had my guy in a backpack to do housework quite a bit. They like to be close, but it shouldn't stop all your movement.

It's perfectly normal that some kids crawl late (or not at all) - my DD who is 4 now didn't crawl until she was 13 months old (she walked at 16 months.) Don't worry too much about this, or if you are worried that it might be for a physical reason, talk to your pediatrician (I did at 12 months).

The holding every evening, I don't have many suggestions for you - is it when everyone is busy in the evening, or after he should be in bed? My SIL used her baby carrier (think Baby Bjorn or slings, etc.) to hold two of hers who wanted to be held a lot during the day, but when she still needed to get stuff done around the house. It doesn't work if you are cooking (using sharps or over the oven/stove), but does work for doing laundry, etc. HTH

Good luck!

Not all children crawl. Some roll around and just pull themselves up. As long as you are playing with him activly to get his core muscles strong enough so he can pull himself up and walk that is all that matters. By bicycling his feet and rolling him from side to side as well as stretching opposite hands and feet in opposite directions you can help elongate and strengthen those muscles he will need to pull himself up and walk. Also holding him and letting him jump up and down in your arms (work for you as well!) is lots of fun.

A good book is Itsy Bitsy Yoga. Good Luck.

My olderst, now nine, didn't walk until he was sixteen months old. At his one year check up I was very concerned and the dr. said he would walk when he was ready. She also said he if was not walking by eighteen months to bring him back in! Naturally, he walked and ran all in the same day!!!! I wouldn't worry, all children develop differently and @ different rates!

My daughter didn't crawl until 11 months and did not walk until 19 mo. My son crawled at 9 mo and walked at 16 mo. All children have their own time frames and some skip crawling altogether. Don't worry it will happen. Enjoy it while he isn't getting into everything!

D.,

I have 3 boys under the age of 4. I know how painful and stressful it is to hear them cry. However, sometimes the crying, in my house at least, occurs b/c the child gets a positive response such as being held when the behavior is exhibited. Sometimes my kids cry just b/c they are not getting what they want when they want it. Last night my 17 month old had a crying fit for about 10 minutes b/c I wouldn't hold him as I prepared dinner. By the end of the 10 minutes I was a wreck, but he stopped crying and then quietly went to play with his toys. After he was quiet for a minute I stopped what I was doing and played with him and loved on him. Again, it's agony, but try not to reward crying when the crying is nothing more than a demand. Good luck and you're not alone.

Just keep giving him opportunities to be on the floor, even jsut sitting up playing. Most kids who crawl will go from sitting up to reaching to get opjects in from of them (put them father away so he has to reach out) to getting on there knees and rocking before crawling. And like many others said, some kids just don't crawl. And most are not walking at 9.5 months, more likely the 12-14 month range, but even then you would not be missing the walking milestone. Just get on the floor and play with him!!
Evening are a fussy time for many babies and they want to be held. I agree with someone else who mentioned a carrier if he wants the closeness then, but there are lots of good carriers other than the Bjorn that you can get him up on your back, instead of your front, so you can get things done in the evenings and still have him close. Check out www.handsfreebaby.com for some ideas.
I know it is hard, but try and make this non mobile time a fun time for both of you! Soon enough you will be chasing him all over!!! My #3 is just about to crawl, and I am not ready for it, so go figure.
Best of luck,
K.

D.,

We have 17 mo twins and have had a similar experience. He will mobilize when he's ready. There are a few excercises you can do. Tummy time is very important, but you have to let him get a little frustrated. But not TOO frustrated. I usually let my guys whine/whimper for about 10-30 seconds depending on the tone. Give him a little tummy time with toys in front of him every couple of hours. Eventually he will want to get to those toys. It also helps if you place yourself where he will see you.

As far as the being held part. Put him down. You aren't doing him or yourself any favors by picking him up. Try a little at a time. They always cry, but give him a little time to get frustrated and then realize that you are still there. Start by sitting next to him, and then slowly move a step away at a time. He needs to self soothe and develop his own sense of independance. He's right at that stage where he's ready to go forward but needs a little help.

You might also find it helps you to consult with your pediatrician. They usually have hand outs or can recommend books to help you. Most counties offer infant and child programs where they will evaluate your children to make sure that they are developing normally. In our case, our kids weren't behind, but a nurse came out to check them once a month and gave me flyers with tips to help them develop. I found it reassuring, even tho my kids weren't behind to get those handouts and address any concerns I had- for free in my house with someone who knows what she's talking about.

The biggest thing is for you to realize you don't have to pick him up. A little (5 min) of crying is not going to hurt him, and if you stay close by, he'll slowly realize that you're still there and that there's stuff for him to do. If you have a hard time with this, let your husband do it. Men seem to be able to deal with it better. I think it's the lack of maternal instinct that allows them to deal with the crying better than mommies.

It's a control thing and right now he's got you kinda wrapped around his finger. Don't give into the tantrums as hard as it may be. It will not hurt him to cry. You get on the floor and crawl around and cheer him on to do the same. Another idea would be to put a toy that he may want a few inches away like a ball or something and show him how to get it. Do it with excitement by saying, "Ooh, look a ball." Then act like a baby and crawl for it, but go slow as if you are straining so it looks like you're learning to crawl. I found you get a much better reaction from kids when you get down and act like them.

You already have lots of good answers. Just wanted to chime in that my son was an "in-our-arms" baby too and was held all the time when he was little. I disagree with the idea that you are "rewarding" bad behavior by responding to his cries and holding him. He's still young, there is nothing wrong with letting him be a baby and develop at his own pace.