Child Support - Grand Prairie,TX

I know if you go to the food stamp office, they will ask you if you need to receive child support from anybody. They will go after him - and the dad is responsible for paying for the paternity test.

I am with Amanda G. and Ausmumof1 unless you want to run the risk of him wanting something to do with the child I would not seek child support. He could easily ask for visitation or some kind of rights and if he is as bad as you say I wouldn't want to risk that at all. As much as it sucks I would just let it be.

Do you really want to open up this can of worms?
I completely agree that he 'should' be paying child support, however, is tracking him down and introducing him to your lives, going to do more damage than good?

edited
(I don't think any of us were refering to your child as a 'can of worms'. The situation is the can of worms. Just to clear that up)
I also agree with the adoption idea, if that is what your boyfriend wants. The situation just sounds too dangerous. It seems like you've worked really hard to have the peaceful life you have now, and chasing the estranged father down is only going to disrupt that.)

My advice is to do as much as you can to NOT have this man in your life and that means no child support. Yah-it isn't fair that he doesn't pay it but do you REALLY want him involved in her life? Because that he will be if you open up the can of worms that you are ready to. What are you going to do when he insists that since he is paying he gets to see her? As long as you are ok with that-then go ahead and find him. If you don't want that to happen then let it be. Really-I just see it getting so ugly for you.

Go to court and file a petition or call social services they will help you set things up. And since he was abusive they will make it so he can't really contact her unless there is supervision.Your child is not a can of worms and if he fathered the child he should help pay or make him sign off all rights if your boyfriend wants to adopt her

I say leave it alone if you can get by without him. My sister was in a similar situation except that she once got in touch with the bio father to see if he'd sign off parental rights to the son he'd never even met so that her husband could adopt him. The son was like 12 and the bio father said that he wouldn't sign off and that he now wanted visitation rights! (We all felt like he didn't *deserve* my nephew.) Luckily they tossed it back to his court and never heard from him again.

My nephew is now 18 and has grown into a wonderful young man...certainly not lacking ANYTHING from not having known his bio father. He's going to change his name to his dad's name. The dad who raised him, not some guy he's never met.

Someday you can explain to your daughter that her bio father wasn't someone who you wanted to have much influence on her upbringing. She can get to know him later as an adult if she wants.

if the man pays child support he may have a right to have partial custody, first you should make sure you actually want that, since you say hes abusive, and you have a good father figure for her now.

I would let sleeping dogs lie. He does have current paternal rights that he might feel more inclined to pursue should you decide to file for support. It is not worth any amount of support to me to deal with my daughter's abusive bio-donor who we have not seen for almost her entire 4 years of life. I know many a mom that now have to send their kids to the abusive dad's house every weekend because of the money battle, when the dad had been out of the pic for years.

You think your daughter deserves more...well of course she does. So then you can provide it. You don't need his money to give her a good life. I am going to college so I can give my daughter a better life. It is almost a godsend to become a single parent, I would never have realized just how strong and capable I truly am if I had not been entirely challenged because I was receiving child support.

BTW, I actually do have an existing child support order that was started very early on when I was receiving state services.(DHS requires a support order be filed if a mother is receiving cash assistance) In four years he has never made one single payment. He quits his job every three months before the garnishment paperwork catches up to him. So while I would not have chosen to file a support order, it has been an interesting social experiment to see the results. If you do file for support it does not guarantee in any way that you will see payments.

Anyways, I wish you the best in whatever decision you make.

First and foremost you need to speak with an attorney. Most of them will do the initial consult for free. No matter what, you deserve to receive child support. And I agree with Della, Texas laws are different than other states. Child support will come dirrectly out of his paycheck and go through the courts. And just because he pays child support, doesn't mean he will have unsupervised visits with your daughter. Thats why you need to consult with an attorney. Find out all of your options and then you can make a more informed, intelligent decision. But your daughter DESERVES the financial support of her biological father, regardless of whether he is in her life or not. It is his moral and legal obligation. I would also suggest counceling for you, just to help you make the decision that's right for you and your daughter, not what's right for others. Good luck with everything and stay strong!

Go online to the Texas Attorney general's website. Fill out an application and let them take care of it. No cost to you, they will find him and they will order the test for you.

A bit of advice though.. You should get the support, but don't push the relationship between the two of them. I have lots of experience with this. He will have to figure that out when he figures it out. Your daughter will make her decision about the relationship when that time comes.

Sounds like she is just fine right now.. Very loved and taken care of. Good luck and God bless you and your family.

Be thankful that your ex is not active in your child's life, if he is abusive and would bring nothing but heartache and fear to your child. A child does need both parents, but does not always mean biological parent. If your boyfriend is a great dad then your daughter is not missing out. When the money comes - so does sharing her with visitation and having to trust her in your ex's care.
Financial help always sounds nice, but could be the start of rough and terrible times. Be thankful that you have a family unit in tact.

Call your local Friend of the Court, thats what its called in MI anyways, and they will help you get everything going! They will also look for your ex and explain how everything works. In MI just becuase a man pays suppport doesnt make him entitled to visitation, thats something he has to ask for. My dad pd support but never asked for ordered visitation so I only seen him 3 or 4 times a year.

Whatever you do, think about the long-term consequences for you. What if he now wants visitation rights? What if his family demands they have visitation rights too? You didn't mention much about his family, so I don't know if he's the only one who's unstable or if his family is too, but it might just create a whole lot of unnecessary drama and pain for you and your daughter. If you are strong enough to support yourself through this, it might be worth it. But if you have to go to court for anything, you'll have to pay legal fees for that and it could get expensive. Just something to consider.

Do what you need to do for your child. She deserves the best.

If he has not been involved and if you don't want him in your child's life, then please do not pursue the child support. As many have said, you will be opening the door to visitation and influences you may not want for your daughter. Personally, I don't believe it is ever time to have an abusive person come back into your life. Even if you are desperate for the support, there is no reason to believe he would pay it. My daughter has been to court many times to get the child support enforced - it costs her money and her ex gets away with paying a small amount. He still gets all the visitation he is entitled to. Texas courts do not care about what is in the best interest of the child, only about parental "rights"...at least some of the courts are like that. Perhaps the best thing is to have his parental rights terminated, since he has never been involved, so he cannot make trouble later.

If he's abusive I would just lay low and forget contacting him about child support. You wouldn't want him abusive toward your child when the visitation right are now established and there's nothing you can do to stop him from coming to get your child. But if you do feel the need to put him on child support even though you're currently in a stable situation then just go online to the OAG for your state. Just fill out the online form or have it mailed to you. It's really simple and they'll contact you through mail or via telephone and start setting up court dates. Just be ready to follow the court orders.

You have received numerous responses from people outside of Texas. The law in Texas is very differnt from other states. Go down to the Attorney General's Office. It will cost you nothing. The more info you have about your ex, the easier it is to track him down.

I know for a fact that having him pay child support does NOT mean he has to see her. I have a friend who got into it with his ex and his teenage daughter refused to see him (fyi, it wasn't anything physical. They just don't get along). He continued to pay child support every month, but the AG office would not even tell him their new address.

Also, Texas is very good about collecting the money. If he is in Texas and not being paid under the table they will garnish his wages if he doesn't pay. If he wants to buy a house, he will not be able to qualify for a loan if he owes child support, he won't be able to get a driver's license, amongst other things.

Having him pay cild support does not entitle him to communicate with her. That is up to you and your child.

Best of Luck.

Your first step needs to be that you contact an attorney. They will be able to find him, but only if you have is social security number. I'm not sure what happens if you do not have his social #, but I'm sure they have a way to find him. I'm glad you are finally taking the steps to hold him to his part. Be prepared that if he starts paying support, he might want to see her. I was glad that I pursued my daughters bio father for support, but I sure wish I could have saved her all the pain it brought with it. He was in and out of her life, she was beat up on from her sisters at his house, and he had very different parenting skills than I did. Luckily, he agreed to let my husband adopt her, and I NEVER have to worry about him wanting back in my daughter's life. My daughter still asks about him, and I just tell her I don't know why he disappeared. We had the agreement that he could still see her after the adoption, but if he disappeared again, he could not come back. Well, he disappeared again! He will not have any part of our daughter's life now until she is able to decide that she wants to see him.

hi sweetie, bless your heart...you're right for wanting/needing the $$ support for your baby & also just as right to have kept him away fr you & your baby....you & her both deserve the $$ but just be prepared for him to be all pissy about it and possibly give you a hard time. everytime i do something re: courts, my ex has an effin fit! but, i filed w/the ofc of atty general...they track people by their ssn's. you may not have his, but if you do, that's how they'd see if he had a job. if you don't, it's pretty much a moot point unfortunately b/c 1). you don't know where he's at and 2.) there's not even paternity & he probly wouldn't even cooperate w/that! argh! men! maybe give ofc of atty general a call, talk to their cust service reps & just see what they say. i do feel for you girl and i feel the same way, i made a stupid choice in my baby's father but i'm IN LOVE w/my baby, so things happened just the way they should've! :)
glad you have a good boyfriend now. good luck!! :)