Child's 5Th Birthday party...is It Appropriate?

I think what would pass for tacky 20 years ago, might be considered acceptable now, because I think, as a society, 20 years ago, we would've never had parents bringing extra kids, or not responding to an invite. Things are different now and people have gotten lax in their common sense and manners. I would hope that parents knew that only the invited child was paid for. Since some don't, you should probably spell it out for them, nicely, on the invite.

I hand wrote inside each invitation that although siblings and family members could join us in the back room for cake after the class that only the children in the actual class were invited to participate in the gymnastics class.

I didn't really care how they felt about it, the less kids that came the less it cost me over the amount allowed with the base fee.

No one really minded either.

I think it is fine. Siblings (or the parents rather) shouldn't expect to get to play for free!

I would NOT be offended by this request or think it is tacky at ALL!

put on the invite that if a sibling wishes to join there will be a $5 charge. most parents would understand...

Not tacky.
Tacky is assuming ones other kids can participate at all!

I would say "No siblings please" on the invitation so there is no gray area and parents cannot make assumptions. You say that you feel "siblings are welcome" but....adding siblings makes for a larger party, more noise, more chaos. It's YOUR child's birthday. Opt for a party with your child's actual friends. There is no obligation to welcome siblings. Parents can tag-team it if they have younger ones -- one parent brings the guest to your party while the other parent deals with the rest of the kids!

It doesn't matter if the siblings "want to come" as you say. Let their older brothers and sisters, your own child's friends, have an event that is for their group. It's a bore and chore for a kid to always have the siblings tagging along. Just put "No siblings, please" or "Due to the nature of the facility, please bring the party guest but no siblings" if you want it to sound nicer. It's not about the extra $5 per head. It's about a party that is for the birthday child and guests -- not for everyone who might think it sounds fun.

Sorry if it sounds mean of me but I don't get parents who just insist on bringing all the kids to an event to which one kid was invited. It shows a sense of entitlement and is rude. Just be clear with them.

To me, it really depends on how many extra kids you expect to get. If there are likely to be less than 5, then I would probably just suck it up and pay the additional charges. If you are talking about 20 extra kids, then that would get expensive fast.

I am just starting in this birthday party thing too. Our party is next weekend and I have had someone text me that the kid invited would be coming and her brother who was not invited. That kind of rudeness bothered me. I also had a Mom call me and ask if her other child could come and I was fine with that.

I don't think that you can get away from the sibling issue. At $5 a head, I would probably build the cost of some extras in my party budget.

ETA: I DID address my invites with only the name of the child that was invited to the party and I am STILL dealing with this.

I see nothing wrong with telling them siblings have to pay. I did the same things when my were really young.

I wouldn't invite siblings. I'd put on the invite, "No siblings please." Don't get into that iffy area of paying, not paying, who forgets to pay, and you suddenly have 17 kids instead of 10. I dont see the need for siblings who are not friends with the birthday kid to attend a party.

Are parents expected to stay at the venue with their child? Typically, if I'm expected to stay with my child at the party, that's when the sibling issue comes into play.

I'd discuss it with parents when they RSVP.

At this age? I would state ONLY the children you want to come.

I know it's hard when other siblings see a party and want to go but unfortunately, not always appropriate.

If parents ASK about siblings? Tell them how much it is.

I think that's fine to say. It always astounds me when people assume that an invitation for one is an invitation for all. You shouldn't have to pay for the other kids to attend.

I think it's tacky to mention anything about payment on an invitation. It's more polite to say that the party is limited to parents and the child(ren) named on the invitation.

When we do parties here only the child on the invitation is invited. Not the parent and not the siblings. I can understand that if the parents are required to stay at the party for whatever reason, then they may have to bring siblings along because there is not always going to be a parent at home to watch siblings, and it would be expensive to hire a sitter for other children so that you can attend a party with the invited child. I would word the invitation "drop off" and "pick up" to avoid having to accomodate siblings.

I would probably put only the childs name who you are inviting on the invitation, when they RSVP, let them know whats going on. I would personally just plan on inviting siblings that are close in age, unless some of the kids come from huge families, like 4+ kids it shouldnt be that bad, and some people always cancel or dont show up.

I think it is perfect !!! When I have been in the position that I needed to either bring my other child or RSVP no - I have been told to just bring the extra child. At that point I personally insist upon paying for my extra child and make sure that both girls bring a gift or the one gift would be equal to two gifts.

Yes, it's absolutely fine. However, IF the mothers RSVP and ask if they can bring the sibs (wouldn't it be nice if they would actually ASK...) tell them yes, but to please cover the $5 fee for the sib. There is nothing wrong with that.

You will need someone at the door to look at the invite LIST and check off names. That way you'll know who needs to pay and who doesn't.

Have a good party!
Dawn

Many parents of YOUNG children want to be present at a children's party....THAT is APPROPRIATE. However, unless the parent requests to bring THEIR other children and PAY the additional cost, it is NOT appropriate for SAID parent to ASSUME that you will pay the additional costs.

Maybe if you explain why the extra charge, people will be more understanding.

As long as you don't mind the siblings coming, I'd say go ahead and put it on the invitation. I wouldn't be offended or think it's a big deal. I think it's a lot nicer than putting on the invitation that siblings are NOT welcome.

Just put _______Is invited to _________s birthday party. Please only _______and one parent. No siblings please~

I wouldn't put it on the invitation. When parents call you to RSVP, you could let them know at that time. That said, while it's really generous of you to think of this, parents won't expect sibs to come along. My child goes to a lot of parties at party places since he started elementary school and none of them invited or accommodated siblings. The person invited was the person on the invitation, and that's it. So it's your choice.

Agree about putting the NAME of the child (or children) on the invite. If the parents ASK about the other siblings coming, say SURE but mention they will have to pay X amount for that child because you have already purchased a package deal :)

We are doing the same thing for my children's (2 kids) birthdays in August. However, we invite all the kids to come (siblings) because we invite family friends' kids and my kids play with all of their kids (versus inviting school kids and not knowing the siblings).

When I host a party such as this, I always write on the invite who is invited, and that siblings are welcome to attend, but it will cost __ if they come and stay. That way the parents know ahead of time tat they will have to pay for the siblings to attend, BUT I DO usually have enough goody bags and cake, etc for ALL of the children who come as long as the parents rsvp. I also ask that they rsvp so that I can have enough of everything. Have fun!!

My oldest will be five in April and we've been to a ton of parties. So here is our experience. Invite who you want to invite and don't worry about siblings. I'd let the parents bring it up to you if they want to bring other kids and you can tell them about fee. A few weeks ago I almost brought my eldest to her younger sibling's friend party cuz of sitter issues but I was going to pay for her. (She, by the way had a FIT when she heard she wasn't invited but she got over it when we planned play date for her.). At least in my circle everyone understands siblings aren't included unless specified on invitation. Have fun!