Choke Burping?

Updated on August 20, 2010
R.J. asks from Seattle, WA
21 answers

I have a few friends in different circles with new babies. They're all doing something that looks like they're choking their babies to burp them. They sit the baby in their laps (obviously before they can sit up yet, so they're all c shaped and floppy), put one hand around their neck from the front, and burp them with their heads flopping around and screaming. The babies are ALL obviously miserable (crying and screaming). But each of them said that "this is how it's done now". It's how they were taught to do it in their baby classes.

I'm confused. Is there something WRONG with the gentle over the shoulder burping? These are only 3 infants I've seen where the mums are doing this that I know the mums, but they are ALL screaming unhappy (the mums were told the screaming is normal). I've also seen several mums I don't know doing the same thing with the same results. I'm just blown away. I've burped dozens of infants, never like that, and they never screamed, and often fall right to sleep.

Am I missing something?

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So What Happened?

No... not a trick Q... I'm just 1/2 flabbergasted, and 1/2 "well yah... it's been 8 years... but this just seems wrong" It's only been this month I've come across it... so I'm hoping to poll all y'all who are more in the trenches than I am. I know my mum has gotten ticked at some of the parenting choices I've made because of new science (like high fat diets for toddlers) until she researched it. So if there IS a good reason behind it, I'd like to know. I've kept from "What are you DOING to your child" (I win the diplomatic prize / iron-jaw award so far). But purely because I had such an outraged response, I know I need to seek some level ground with it. Judgmental has never being my favorite position to be in, so I just couldn't say anything to a mum trying her best, until I understood what was going on and got off the horrified-tree. Esp. if I'm horrified over something "normal". Also... "burping" comes up occasionally on this site, but as I thought about it, never the actual mechanics.So Q time :) :) :)

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G.B.

answers from Boise on

We got all kinds of quackery going on now. Loading new moms up on Iron supps and also loading up the babies is another one that makes babies miserable. It causes reflux and /or constipation in a percentage of these children. Just bad medicine.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Seattle on

I did this - not every time, but sometimes it was more comfortable for me to hold my kids this way. I didn't choke them (I actually was holding them along the jawbone, not around the neck) and they never cried because of it.

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M.R.

answers from Columbus on

My husband burped this way, he has big hands, so he would hold them up with his whole hand supporting their body under the chin, and burp them. It is a sweet memory for me, probably because our babies were not uncomfortable, and never cried at burpping, and certianly never screamed their heads off! He was a very good burper too, one of ours was colicky, so his masterful burping was helpful. I would say that the screaming is the wrong thing, not how they are burping. Something is not comfortable for them, I could never burp this way because my hands were not big enough!

You know though, if you scan the posts, it does not seem that babies are any less colicky or have less spitting up or reflux than they did when yours (or mine- 18 to 11 years ago!) were litte either, so I think that the over the sholder method is still worthwhile!

M.

3 moms found this helpful
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M.A.

answers from Houston on

Girlfriend...I'm from Texas...and as BIG as we are....there aint nothin' like babies "screaming" from being burped. That simply IS NOT SO.
NO baby should SCREAM from being burped.....
......I thought that was common knowledge?

3 moms found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

I had to burp my son sitting up but I had my fingers on his chin to support him not his neck.

2 moms found this helpful
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K.S.

answers from Portland on

This is actually pretty common. The nurses in the NICU taught my sister to do this with her baby. When I saw her doing it the first time, I was shocked! But it actually was very effective and helped get gas out of her bottle fed baby's stomach that over the shoulder burping wouldn't. Properly done, the head is supported (your five fingers are splayed to provide support for chest and head) even if that isn't clear. She converted me and I used it occasionaly for my little guy (also a premie) even in the NICU with the NICU nurses watching. Interestingly, it didn't work as well for him, so I used both styles with him. Don't panic. It seems strange, but it is fine. The crying from the babies may very well be because the gas is uncomfortable coming up!

2 moms found this helpful
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D.W.

answers from Gainesville on

I burped my daughter in that position occasionally when she wouldn't give up the burpies but she never ever screamed and I was supporting her head with my hand under her chin not around her neck. I can see how it might look that way though. I found changing up her position would help when trying to get her to burp. So we would go from the shoulder to my lap and back sometimes. She could be tough to get to burp at times.

It's the screaming part that concerns me. These parents need to realize that if their little one is reacting like that it's not the best position for them.

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

They're doing something wrong. My son is 3, and the way I was taught to burp, in addition to the traditional way, was to hold the baby against my chest, holding the baby's feet, supporting the chin, and kinda swirling the legs/lower torso around so the gas bubbles move through - I guess kinda like baby situps or crunches. Just what Cindy described. I would say the screaming isn't normal unless the kids have killer gas pains - the burping shouldn't cause the yelling. And the only change I've seen to the shoulder burping is less patting and more pushing/slight pressure from base of back up - helping the gas move up and out. Hope that helps.

Not sure how to address it with them, though, cause I'm sure they'll get defensive. Maybe find some youtube clips on the burping the way it should be and let them know about it?

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C.B.

answers from Detroit on

There is a way to burp a tiny baby by leaning them slightly forward and holding their chin to hold their head steady and burp them. This is how I have seen the nurses do it in the hospital and I have done it that way as myself at times. Sometimes it is easier to get a good burp out that way and to hold the baby's head. However, I can see how important it would be to make sure you are lightly holding the chin, not the neck, so as to not choke the baby. And, I have never had my baby cry from doing this at all. Their chin just kind of rests in my hand and I even kind of lay their head sideways in the palm of my hand and they do fall asleep that way alot too. Definitely if their babies are crying/screaming and flailing around, they are doing something wrong. They could be doing that because they want to get right back to the bottle so maybe they need to watch when they are burping as well. Maybe they are not burping at times that are necessary.

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M.M.

answers from Portland on

That's the way my kids always liked to be burped. And holding their head up may look like choking, but all it really is is just holding the head up. As for the babies not liking it-- that is a concern. They should burp their baby in the best way that works for that baby. That being said, they are not hurting them by doing it that way, and it is their choice.

1 mom found this helpful

A.C.

answers from Jacksonville on

All my girlfriends burp their babies in this position sometimes, I burped my daughter in this position often. That said, I have not seen ANY of them scream from being burped. I would say they are holding wrong, or "patting" too hard. I have a friend who thumps (for lack of a better word) babies and my sister swears she gave her son hiccups at the hospital from burping him too hard. So yes, this is the trend, though not the crying part (I don't think :) ) Maybe suggest to your friends they modify their holds and pats until a happy medium can be reached. That being happy babies without gas...

1 mom found this helpful

S.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

I wonder what's going on with new baby classes.
Sounds freaky to me.
If you had seen only one or two, I'd think maybe
they had misunderstood the instruction.
But you're seeing more than that.
How could anyone experienced in newborn behavior
say that screaming is normal?
Is this a trick question?
S.
who is actually a big R. fan

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S.S.

answers from Seattle on

I burped my first son like this - he loved it! But I think maybe you're not seeing it properly or the people you know aren't doing it properly, as they shouldn't be choking their babies, but rather the thumb should kind of go around one side of the neck while the rest of the hand goes underneath the arm on the other side and the baby comfortably flops forward on the palm of the hand. Some babies do fuss a lot when being burped because gas is uncomfortable. Sometimes the over-the-shoulder burping just doesn't cut it. My son screamed and squirmed in that position, so it's really all about the baby...

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K.R.

answers from Portland on

"Normal" is often stupid, especially when it comes to mothering "truths" handed down from the medical community. Eh. I'm glad some people have seen an apparently legitimate use of what may have been the source of what you are seeing. I'm not saying the moms are stupid, but that the teaching itself may be stupid. In any case, if a nurse or doctor is teaching that method, they had better (1) explain, clearly, in what circumstances it would be considered better than the gentler method and (2) actually observe and coach the parents to whom they teach it, with their actual babies.

Anything that causes great distress and can be dealt with successfully in a gentle way, is pretty obviously not a good long-term investment in child care : P. IMHO ;).

That said, I don't know what I'd do in your shoes; it would depend a lot on my relationships with the people. I'm a little more direct than most women, but I manage to couch it nicely most of the time ;) ... something like, "Could you tell me what the reasoning was behind that new position?" might at least get them thinking, or maybe they will followup with their pediatricians to make sure they are doing it right (because we alllllll know that one person questioning whether a woman is right sticks in her mind until she can vanquish it).

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M.S.

answers from Portland on

It is a common method for burping. My mom taught it to me almost 30 years ago. She ran an in home daycare and had 7 kids. There are a few methods for burping, and that one overall has been most effective. They aren't actually choking the babies, but holding their chests and supporting their heads. If you are seeing heads flopping around, then they aren't holding properly. And, a baby CANNOT burp and scream at the same time, so if the babies are crying, then burping is pointless until they calm them down. They also usually don't burp while asleep, so it is a delicate balance between making them comfortable, but not so cozy they fall asleep. A baby on the shoulder often just falls asleep. Also, holding the baby upright on your lap straightens out the torso allowing air to come out more easily.
My son was extremely hard to burp, and the only way to get a bubble out of him was to holding like that and bounce him on my knee while patting his back.

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C.B.

answers from Cleveland on

I burped both my dds (now 12 and 7) with them sitting up but my hand was supporting their heads under their chins, not around their necks. I burped them this way because when I fed them I sat in a La-Z-Boy. If I would have burped them up on my shoulder, their faces would have been against the back of the chair. Plus on my lap I could see if they spit up and cleanup was easier.

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N.I.

answers from Portland on

No you are not missing something. Children should not scream after eating unless something is wrong and their heads should not be "flopping around". Nothing is wrong with the old fashioned way and whoever came up with this idea doesn't know too much about how to burb babies. At least in my way of thinking.

N.

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T.R.

answers from Portland on

I have taken care of nearly 150 babies... 2 weeks to 4months of age and burped each one this way.. yes a few screamed as lots of babies do, but most didn't seem to mind. I even did it with my babe who is and was an angel. With the ones that weren't mine about an alarming 90% had formula and spat up a lot. Do this kind of as you call it "choking burp" helped to see the spit up that was spewing from their ever so sweet faces. Also the burp comes faster giving the infant the relife that the babe is wanting. To each their own but I do have to say.... it only looks bad and isn't bad! :-)

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M.L.

answers from Seattle on

I've seen lots of this with formula fed babies. I had a coworker who did this and it seemed like she was just trying to make sure that when he spit up that it wasn't all over her.

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L.R.

answers from Seattle on

I agree with Cindy B.... I have seen other babies and burped my babies by sitting them on my lap, slightly leaning them forward, patting their back and my other hand's thumb and first finger supporting their CHIN (not throat).

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E.G.

answers from Yakima on

I've burped babies both ways. (I have 3 kids, and taken care of many others) They aren't choking them, the hand is more on the chest, than the throat. I don't know if the screaming has anything to do with how they are holding the baby. Some babies really do cry a lot, no matter how they are being burped. My daughter hated being over my shoulder, so I had to hold her facing out. I understand your concern if you've never seen it work, but I know it worked for me.

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