Choosing Baby's DOB

Updated on August 17, 2007
S.D. asks from Yuba City, CA
21 answers

This pregnancy will be a planned c-section for my 2nd child, my 1st daughter. She is due to be born the week of my birthday and my dr. has given my husband and I the decision to choose the date. I would love to share my birthday with my daughter but fear that she will grow up hating to share it with mom. On the other hand, I would hate to choose a different date and have her feel that she wasn't good enough to share it with me... I'd love to hear your thoughts on this matter and help my husband and I make the best decision we can.

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So What Happened?

We opted to have our baby girl born on my birthday. It was such a wonderful gift. The BEST gift I've ever gotten for my birthday! We celebrated her one year birthday and my 29th birthday this past Oct. It was a great day! I LOVE sharing it with her and it makes me think about what my mom was thinking and experiencing with me all the time as I was growing. Thanks for your thoughts and advice!!!

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C.R.

answers from Fresno on

hi S.,
congradulations on the baby...in response to picking the date i think you should my son and i share the same birthday, though it wasn't planned, but he has no problem with it, sometimes though he says that i need my own birthday party..you know like how we give them theirs lol, we have been sharing a birthday now for 8yrs almost 9. so anyways i hope this helps

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K.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

I say share it with her. it will give you something to bond over. As she gets older you can have special brithday evens for the two of you. Once I became a mom I no longer celebreated my birthday (except my age keeps going up) Sharing a birthday won't take away from her day, it will give you something to share.

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B.K.

answers from Sacramento on

I say let her have her own day. My son had 5 different due days, and all of them where on somebody's birthday, mine included. I was sad because I wanted him to have his own special day. He was also a planned c-sec, but luckily he came 9 days early and has his own birth date to himself. I also had a best friend and a cousin with the same birthday growning up, and I didn't like having to share it to well. Good luck with you choice and your new baby girl.

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A.C.

answers from Sacramento on

I think you should give her a separate birthday. Even if it is just one day apart, she will appreciate having her own special day. Also, do you really want to go through childbirth on your birhday?! Give yourself a break that day!!! :)
Good luck!

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T.S.

answers from Sacramento on

Follow your own instinct. My son was born (his choice) the day before mine & my daughter was born(her choice) two days after mine. We have quite a few birthdays close together.

When I was pregnant I thought it was great (and it still is) but after four years, I sometimes wish that we had a little more space between our b-days. The kids birthdays are their special days but I have found that in the preparing for making the kids days special, my special day sometimes gets rushed over. This may sound childish but it feels very real. It has taken us a few years to figure out how to make sure everyone's birthday's are honored, as they should be.

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K.C.

answers from San Francisco on

I would give her a date a couple days before so hers is 'first' and special. You can still celebrate together if she is OK with that but if you had it on the same day you'd never be able to separate it, you know? I mean you could celebrate it any day but it would always really be both of your birthdays. I can't imagine her ever feeling she wasn't good enough, to me it is the opposite, you wanted to make sure her day was all her own and special! Congrats on the baby and good luck with everything!

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K.N.

answers from San Francisco on

I was a a planned c-section when my mom had me, they also could have had me on my moms birthday however I was born 2 days later. I have always enjoyed having my own day but it is special for us to share our birthday week. I am 24 now and have 2 kids of my own I also have had to have c-sections however non of them have been near my birthday, if it was me I think I would handle things like my parents did. It's alway special to have my own day but it's nice to share our birthday week. Now that I'm older we will go out and do things to celebrate our bithdays together but I still get my own day to spend with my husband and children.

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T.T.

answers from Sacramento on

Just remember her birthday is going to be HERS whether it lands on your birthday or not.

Personally, I would choose the c-section date to fit your social needs on her birthday. If you want a lot of family to share her birth, maybe you should pick a Friday so it's easier for people to take time off work and come visit in the hospital that weekend. If you'd rather not have a public spectacle of a birth, then choose early in the week, when people are much less likely to travel, and you will be home with baby to enjoy their visits by the weekend.

Just remember this is a luxury and expect the unexpected. You could end up delivering when she decides to show up...say a week early! Enjoy the birth experience no matter what.

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M.B.

answers from Austin on

Hi S. :)

I would choose a different date than yours. It will get confusing for her I think as well as being too chaotic. Planning where you want to go on your birthday for some alone time with your hubby combined with running her birthday party will be hard on you.

just my two cents worth hehe ;)

M.

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E.W.

answers from Modesto on

Hi S.

I was born on my mothers birthday and I just love it she told me I was her birthday present and that Im very special to her Im the oldest of two, my sister is younger then me by two years. If I could I would had my kids born on my birthday one was earley and one was late I think it's a special thing only you two can share.
me and my mom share it every year IM 42 and she's 72 and I would't change a thing.

E.

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H.S.

answers from Boise on

I think it would be cute...
I am also pregnant with are 2nd child.
Still looking for a Doctor but it's going to be a planned c-section also.. We are hopeing for a little girl, we have are little man.. If I could I would...

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A.M.

answers from Las Vegas on

Hi S.,

I went through the same thing my birthday is Janury 5. I had to have a c-section with my son and my due date was Jan 10, my dr. told me to pick a date for my son to be born on so I pick January 4. The day befor mine . I also have a cousin who was born on my birthdya and we are 10 years apart. I decied to give my son His OWN day but yet it is still close to mine.
Have a good day.

A. McKay

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N.S.

answers from Sacramento on

Hello! I believe you answered your own question. "You would love to share your birthday with your daughter." I think you go with what you really want. My grandmother and aunt share a birthday a day apart and they like it, but they also wish they would have had the same birthday. I was due on my mother's birthday but came 2 weeks later. My mother to this day keeps saying how I was supposed to be born on her birthday and I feel that would have been just wonderful. I am now 41 yrs old. It's really pretty neat you got a choice to choose the date, my doctor didn't give me a choice he just picked the date for us. I think this is a great opportunity for you and your husband so do what you feel because either way the day will be special. You are going to have a daughter and she will love her birthday no matter what day it is on. Congratulations!!

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T.H.

answers from Las Vegas on

I have a friend who was born on her father's birthday. It was great until he became ill and passed away - and this was a long time ago. She still becomes depressed on her birthday because she remembers how they used to share the date and it just makes her miss him more. I think your child's birthday should be hers alone, that way everyone that celebrates with her is there for her just like those that come to your birthday (or do whatever) do it just for you.

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S.J.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi S.,
I have my birthday the day after my mother's. We have celebrated our birthdays together. When I was younger, I would have my own special party but as I got older, we combined our birthday parties (Family Parties)It was much easier that way even though we have our b-days 1 day apart. I never hated sharing my birthday. It might be a little different if she had to share her bday with her sister or sibling, but sharing with your mother is a special thing. I think.

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K.T.

answers from Sacramento on

Well I had something slightly similar to your situation only I had asked my dr. to induce my labor because I was in so much pain from the baby being so low. My husband's birthday is Jan.13 and my due date was Jan.5 and he kept joking around about our baby being born on his birthday and I was fearful that would happen. I ended up having my labor induced on Jan.12 because I was in pain and I didn't want her to be born on his b-day even though depending on the labor it could still happen. I just feel that your birthday is a very special day and if by fate you share it with someone else then it is meant to be,but if you have a choice I would choose her own date. When she gets older you can let her know you wanted it to be her special day, maybe you can pick the day before or after your birthday. I ended up having my daughter on Jan.12 at 9:23p and my husband spent his birthday in the hospital with me.

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M.D.

answers from Las Vegas on

I think either way would be fine. Just realize that if she is born on your birthday, you'll always need to put her in the spotlight and have yourself take a step back so she has a "special day" for herself.
It looked like my oldest son was going to be born all day the day before my husbands B-day, on his b-day NOTHING, he was born at 8:44 am the day after my husbands b-day. We still joke with him that he wanted his own special day and didn't want to share! We always do seperate "celebrations" so that he doesn't feel like he's missing something (and his day is usually a much bigger deal). We have a LOT of birthday cake around the house for a while (especially since my daughters birthday is exactly a week before my son's b-day, so we have 3 birthdays is 1 week! LOL)

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L.M.

answers from Reno on

My second daughter was a planned inducement, and we had a 5 to 14 day window in which to plan her arrival if she didn't make an appearance on her own. We debated my husband's birthday and our anniversary (one day apart)or to just let the doctor plan what day was best for his schedule... We thought it would be great for our last child to share the day with her daddy. Then, we thought she might feel a bit cheated by having to share all the attention, celebration, and festivities with someone else. We decided to let the doctor choose a day, and she was born 10 days after daddy's day, and 11 days after our anniversary. She now revels in knowing that her birth is ONE of MANY celebrated events in the month of May, but that she has her very OWN day all to herself, which she can be the Pincess of the ball.

I think that just having your days so close will be a wonderful bond, and if you later want to celebrate both at once, you can do a day between the two.... (just think... a mom and daughter spa weekend or manicure/pedicure...) the possibilities are endless!!!!

good luck and God bless!

L.

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V.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Share your B-day - - - two of my kids have the same B-day and they love it - - - my fiancee and his oldest son and youngest daughter BOTH have his B-day and they love it.... My oldest daughter was born on my half-birthday and she thinks it's cool....

just like giving the baby your name - I cannot see her being upset by that...

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M.B.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi S.,

I definitely would not share your b-day with your little one unless nature insists. Growing up she will want to have a day to herself, without feeling the guilt of whether or not she is entitled to it because it is your b-day too. I think everyone should have their one day a year that is all theirs. :) Good luck, and congrats!!!

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S.L.

answers from Las Vegas on

how about doing it at midnite, then she can celebrate it tomorrow or share it with mom, then she can decide.

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