Anyone have recommendations for books to give a teen who has questioned her Christian faith to the point of renouncing it? Most of the books that I've found are better for building up marginal Christian teens, rather than pulling non-believing ones back to belief.
COMMENTS ADDED:
(1) Please don't assume I'm "pushing" anyone or being obnoxious about it.
(2) This is for a close friend of my daughter's, not my own child. I have a good rapport with her, and she has sought my advice on other important matters (like college and boyfriends).
(3) Her parents will be consulted before I give her a book about Christianity. Her mother has expressed that her daughter may listen to me, and welcomes my involvement on this topic.
(4) If it was my own child, I must disagree with the "respect her decision" viewpoint, in that I am personally responsible for training my children in what is important. Regardless of what anyone else may believe, if I am to be true to my own beliefs, then I MUST train my children to be believers and to follow the directives of our faith. I am responsible for training my children in every other aspect of their lives, and I'm not going to simply "respect her decision" if she decides to turn away from anything that I see as important to her well-being. There does come a point where one cannot force adult children, but we would be very irresponsible to leave something as important as faith up to chance "for when they're older", and sit idly by while others influence them. While they are teens, they NEED parental guidance in ALL matters. Religion is not exempt, just because some people disagree with it.
I've asked for BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS, and that is the only advice I am seeking here.
I agree. Just drop it. Teenagers have to come to know themselves on a personal level and have to develop a relationship with Christ themselves. While you are a positive influence, forcing the issue will only cause them to rebel more.
You might go to Mardels and ask someont there, they should know of a few books to help. Good luck I hope you find something.
This is a time teens question everything including religion, spirituality & faith. You can guide her, but you can't 'pull' her back to belief. Definitely encourage her, ask her questions and help her research to find any answers she has. I would not prod and pry her about it, as you know, teens only rebel at that approach. This is a journey she has to take herself.
Honestly, with teens I think you're better off dropping it. The more you try to force an issue, the less they're going to want to listen. I would just respect their decision and let them know that you're there if they want to talk about it. Also explain that if they change their mind, you'd be glad to have them rejoin you in church. My best friend in college was raped her first year there and lost all faith. The best thing her parents did for her was to let her work through her issues and rediscover religion again when she was ready. If they had tried to force the issue, it would have completely backfired.
Part of growing up is deciding what to believe for your own reasons rather than believing what ever your parents tell you to believe. By the time she's in her early to mid 20's she might come around again.
Here are a few I can recommend:
Believe! Helping Youth Trust in the Lord - Robert C. Oaks http://deseretbook.com/item/4622717/Believe_Helping_Youth...
The 6 most important decisions you'll ever make - Sean Covey
http://deseretbook.com/item/4956858/The_6_Most_Important_...
Weed your Brain, Grow your Testimony - John Bytheway
http://deseretbook.com/item/4996462/Weed_Your_Brain_Grow_...
Choose to Believe; Live to Receive - Lorie Riddle
http://deseretbook.com/item/5018497/Choose_to_Believe_Liv...
Whisperings of the Spirit - Nancy Murphy
http://deseretbook.com/item/4996448/Whisperings_of_the_Sp...
Believing Christ: The Parable of the Bicycle and other Good News - Stephen E. Robinson
http://deseretbook.com/item/4499076/Believing_Christ_The_...
First off I just want to applaud you with your response here to some of the comments that were left. Too many adults are willing to let children fall by not standing up and showing them the truth. Yes, it is a tough job, and I applaud you for willing to take on this battle.
I have not read this book, but a minister was talking about it last night. Why Christian Kids Rebel by Tim Kimmel. It isnt a book for a child to read, but it gives is insight on what to do if they are questioning their faith.
Good Luck!
Out With Doubt: A Look At The Evidence For Christianity by Kyle Butt is an excellent book for teens. My husband teaches the youth group in our church and they studied this book together. It's well written and may answer a lot of questions she has regarding her faith.
http://www.apologeticspress.org/catalog/product_info.php/...
The kids liked the first book so much they wanted to continue with the next books. Matter of Fact: A Look at More Evidence for Christianity by Kyle Butt. Both books are great. I hope this helps.
http://www.apologeticspress.org/catalog/product_info.php/...
I know it's hard being a teen today and keeping your faith. It's great to know other moms care about the most important topic in your life. Good luck!
My recommendations would depend on why she has left the Christian faith. If it's because of disagreement with doctrine, I'd recommend Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis. It's a nice easy read and systematically goes through the major points of what Christians believe, starting with "does God exist".
if she's disillusioned with the hypocrisy of some Christians, then a biography of someone like Mother Teresa or something might be good. Something to help her "get to know" someone who really lived their faith.
I wouldn't push it, and I wouldn't buy books for her she doesn't want to read. You never know -she may come back to the beliefs she was raised with, and she may not. Everyone must take their own spiritual and religious journey and decide on their own what they believe. It's one of the most intimate and personal things you can do! The teen years set this in motion for many, and for others it happens a little later. One thing is for certain -if she's not into it now as a teenager, the only thing you'll do by trying to force it on her is alienate her. In fact, you may wind up driving her away from it forever.
Guess you got a lot more than book recommendations! I think the Left Behind series would be a good choice too. And, I really like the Francine Rivers books like The Atonement Child; Leota's Garden; Redeeming Love; Scarlet Thread; and, Mark of the Lion Series. I would avoid the character studies of specific characters so it does not come across "preachy". I'm not sure of her specific age and some of the books can be a little mature-thus you may want to read them first. Redeeming Love is my absolute favorite and is just a great reminder of God's amazing love for us & His relentless pursuit. It is the story of Hosea & she writes historical fiction. She is wonderfully gifted & I have read this book many times. What a great heart you have for her! And, God will do amazing work through you as you love her where she is. I became a Christian at 26 & am eternally grateful at those who reached out to me in love right where I was. Once she reaches dating age, I really like Becoming a Woman of Excellence and Knight in Shining Armor.
You are right on lady and I really hope you can find what will help this child. They can be so stubborn as teens and hopefully you can find something and she will listen to you. They never listen to parents and some times others just think it is the parents. But I commend you for trying. God Bless G. W
Case for Christ by Lee Strobel. My 11 year old grandson was a Christian but read it to affirm his belief and share Christ with others more confidently.
I agree with you. As parents it's our responsibilty to train up our children in the way they should go. I am a Christian and have a 14 y/o daughter who loved reading books by Christian author, Melody Carlson. She has an excellent series of novels called Diary of a Teenage Girl. You can google her and look up her website. We found all her books at our local library. I think she'll like these books because they relate to what teenage Christians girls go through in today's society. Keep doing what you're doing.
Nothing is more impactful than your own relationship with her. Your own life testimony shared with her has more weight than any novel could. Our faith is about our relationship with God - our weakness and God's mercy and grace. If you have a good relationship with her, let your life and your interaction with her reflect Christ. It's not what you say - it's what you do. Let her know what God had done in YOUR life. She needs to know that it is real from someone she trusts and respects. Since you are looking for something she can read, have you considered writing her a letter sharing your faith and your love for her? It's just a thought...
The "Left Behind" series by Tim LaHaye & Jerry B. Jenkins teen version or regular adult one, either way it will cause the thought process.
And although this is the only info you were seeking I just wanted to say I totally agree with what you wrote. I commend you and your belief in knowing there is a True God! Blessing to you!
I think Laura's advice is great and her resource list is awesome, but I also remember being a teen and wanting someone to be real with me. I do think an age appropriate apologetics resource would be helpful. Maybe something that has questions teens have and answers for them. I love the apologetic materials but the ones I have read is probably too much for a teen. I wish I had titles for you but I don't. I have seen things before for teens specifically so it should not be too hard to find.
Teens can not see the future the way adults can. It is crucial to provide information to this age group. You can provide direction without being pushy or judgmental. I do remember my youth ministers being convicted in their faith but they seemed to be disappointed if I did not do things the way they felt I should. This is truly where the issue lies. So, provide the resources, and a heart of unconditional love and the Lord will do the rest. Without planting seeds, the Lord has nothing to work with. Good for you for being available for this teen!
I don't currently have any book recommendations, I just want to support you in what you are trying to do. Prayers are with you and this teen who is searching. If I do come across some books I will forward the names of them immediately! God Bless.
No, no,no don't drop this. It is our duty to guide all children. Just because they are surley, know-it-all teens (like we all were at one time -lol) they are still children and need guidance and support to make good, life-affirming decsions. You are doing a great thing!
So. . . books I would suggest, Why Mike's Not a Christian and depending on her academic maturity you could even offer A Case for Christ.
I like the first because it gives the arguments up front that she would have or other teens have and then gives a solid, not preachy response/rebuttal.
I like Case for Christ because it, too, is written journalisticly (I work in that industry so I relate well) with not a lot of emotion, good historical references, facts, etc. A little on the dry side, but again, may catch her interest.
I will be praying for you all.
Don't waste your money...the book will never get read.
Talking is better if you do it in a non preaching fashion. And pray for her every day that she finds her way.
The best way to understand what's going on with them is to ask without judgment. NOT to get her a book to tell her why she SHOULD believe as you do.
mmm I don't have any great book recommendations but Brio Magazine is for teen girls and it's a Christian magazine, so I'm guessing it tackles typical teen girl issues but from a Christian point of view.
Good for you, planting the seed. That's all we can do, and let the Holy Spirit do the rest. Hope your friend's daughter appreciates what a great support you are for her.
I agree with Elisa. I went through a period in high school where I was questioning my faith, but I was actually just fed up with the hypocrites I was seeing in church every week.
She may just need some examples of good Christian people. Maybe you can find some books about people who are not necessarily leaders in the Christian faith, but biographies of people who have really struggled in life and found refuge in their faith. Someone at Borders or Barnes and Noble should be able to point you in the direction of a biography like this.
Good luck!
I wanted to thank you for posting this question - I have copied down the titles to look into for my 14 year old son. Please don't give up - I think teens are most in need of the word as they are facing so many challenges at this age.
God Bless!!!
I agree with the other posters.....DON'T PUSH
I do agree to have wide open lines of cummunication and make sure you LISTEN.
As a young adult, I had church/religon pushed down my throat to the point of Hating to go and I do not go to this day.
I know who I am and I am comnfortable with my beliefs but the fact that I had a specific uncle and M. pushing me so hard....they pushed me right out of the church. I am 48 now and this all happened when I was 15-18.
