Churchgoing...

Updated on November 26, 2010
R.. asks from Cleveland, TN
38 answers

I am agnostic. But, I have recently moved to a new town that is on the smaller side. Would it be considered offensive for me to go to a few churches not to find religion, but to meet people of the community? I would probably just go to a few different ones, but I have no clue what religions teach what. Also, how do you go about actually going to church... some places have the worship times posted on their signs, but most don't.What kind of clothes would I need to wear if I do go? I don't have a clue... I was raised in a Mormon household, so that is the only church where I know how to act. (I don't want to go to a Mormon service though, because after 16 years of being forced to go every Sunday, and then 2 years forced seminary during high school, I am SO over it!)

I should add... I wouldn't be "acting" all christian or anything.. I would listen to the messages, but no one has yet been able to convince me in one way or the other... so it is doubtful that I would convert. But I AM interested in what different religions teach... So I am willing to learn and listen. I won't convert if what I learn doesn't make me believe, and I won't put on any pretense of being faithful if I am not. I would also let anyone I meet know EXACTLY why I am there. I would probably stay in the same church for a couple of meetings, then if I don't like the "message" move on to the next. Also, I know that church isn't the ONLY way to meet people... I am planning on trying other things as well, but I am planning on staying in the area for a long time, and would like to "immerse" myself into the community as much as possible... and this community seems to be very religious...

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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

This may be difficult to find in a small Tennessee town, but you never know! You sound like you would love the UU (Unitarian Universalist) church! Many agnostics attend and they invite people of all spiritual paths and faiths to come.

If you can't find one of those, you'll probably need to be somewhat choosy. Pentacostal or fundamentalist Baptist churches, particularly in the South may involve speaking in tongues, fire and brimstone sermons and other things that would most likely make you very uncomfortable.

I would seek Methodist, Presbyterian or Episcopal churches if a Unitarian church isn't around. First Church of Christ/United Church of Christ is also more free-thinking and accepting (note -this isn't JUST "Church of Christ" -be careful there because the two are very different).

As far as dress -it really depends. Many congregations have relaxed dress codes across the board. Typically, in the South, most people dress for church in "business casual" or nice skirts/dresses. If you are considering a church, see if it has a website, and they'll probably address what to wear on it. UU churches are usually more relaxed and you find people in "church clothes" and jeans and everything in between.

It's a great way to meet people if you find the right place. If you go -most services start around 11:00 am on Sunday mornings, but some have two services. You can just walk into the sanctuary and have a seat. Some services will have a greeting time when you can introduce yourself to others who will introduce themselves. Please don't take this the wrong way, but be careful about announcing that you're an agnostic or a former Mormon. Many people in traditional churches have "issues" with both of those. That's why I think you would fare best at a UU church or United/First Church of Christ. IF not that -Methodist, Presbyterian or Episcopal -but know that those 3 have wide variations in belief and practice! Also -at Episcopal churches they do take communion in a very Catholic way -although you don't have to join in -just know that this will happen.

I was curious -here's a UU church in Chattanooga -evidently about 30 minutes away from you:

http://uuc.org/

There's also Cleveland Church of Christ, which IS a United Church of Christ fellowship.

Is Neshoba near you?

http://www.neshobauu.org/index.php?option=com_content&amp...

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

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J.D.

answers from Dallas on

If there is a Unitarian Universalist church in your area, you might want to look at that. This is a place for people with similar values, but it is not based on a single religion. There are people many religious (or non religious) backgrounds that attend Unitarian churches including atheist and agnostic.

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T.M.

answers from Modesto on

Any of the Christian churches (baptist, lutheran, methodist, catholic, nazarene, church of Christ, church of God, can't think of them all so sorry if I left some out, didnt do it on purpose) don't require any special attire. Most people just like to look "nice" as if they were going out to lunch or dinner with their grandma ;)
As far as other religions, like Jehovahs Witness and some of the other "classified" religions that I can't really think of right now MAY have different standards like having to wear a dress.
It would probably be a good way to meet people, I'm glad the Spirit has moved you to use that venue rather than a bar ;)
There is a difference between "religion" and "denomination"... don't get those confused. Baptist is not a religion it is a denomination of the Christian faith... Each denomination has some of it's own philosophies thrown in (which I dont care for), when you find a church that you are comfortable with that is the best way to go.
Good luck on your search.

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O.S.

answers from Birmingham on

I hope you find a church home with wonderful fellowship and also find a faith that catches you by surprise. You can call any church office and speak to the secretary. Ask what the service times are and mention to her that you want to dress appropriately .. does the congregation dress up or more casual, dress/skirt or pants/jeans more accepted for the women. We've all had these questions when visiting a new church. Many are different these days. Give them a try for new friends and a new outlook on your beliefs.

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H.A.

answers from Dallas on

Hi R.,

I'm an Atheist/Agnostic, but I've gone to several churches and gotten to know various religions through my life. I just think it's interesting to understand. Anyway -- does your community have a Unitarian Church? They are VERY accepting of all sorts of belief systems. http://www.uua.org/visitors/index.shtml You can be Wiccan, Jewish, Catholic, Agnostic, etc and still be openly welcomed and comfortable at a UU church. If I was going to "start" anywhere... that's where I would go.

Good luck, I understand the challenge of not being religious and living in a pretty religious community. I hope it works out for you. :)

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D.P.

answers from Raleigh on

I am also agnostic, and I don't go to church- unless I am working. I'm a musician, and to me, church is just business as usual. Just understand that if you make your agnostic views known, you have to know certain religions believe that you are on the fast track to Hell. You will get a lot of attention, whether it's phone calls, visits, or hands-on praying. Be prepared for that...
I agree with the other poster on Unitarian Universalist if you want to delve into something a little different than your run of the mill church. You can also try meetup.com and find people with similar interests as yours, or even start your own meetup group. I have several friends who have done this...
Good luck!

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M.V.

answers from New York on

In my opinion, if you are an agnostic, there are probably better ways for you to get out and meet people if you are new to a community than making the rounds of the churches. Not that people would try to convert you or anything, and I don't think it's offensive on your part at all, but part of being a member of a church is the assumption that you're on board with their belief system. Or are you actually looking to join a church? In that case, it's definitely ok to "shop around" so to speak, and meet with people who attend the church, and also the clergy. But if you are just looking to make new friends, I think you would be better off trying to meet people in more "neutral" settings, like the local gym, library, taking classes at the local community center, Mom's group, etc. Just my opinion.

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J.P.

answers from Boise on

When I was a teenager, I went to various churches, and I know someone that wanted to go to a Catholic (what I happen to be) church. He even wanted to partake of communion. We used to talk about religion all the time (he was Muslim). He wasn't doing it out of disrespect, but curiosity. I had no problem with it, but others in our conversation did. I think that if someone wants to go to another church, and are doing it respectfully, they should be welcomed. Now, if you were going to mill around in the lobby to meet people and then leave for the service, that would be different. You are willing to give the service a chance, and there is nothing wrong with that.

As far as attire, etc. Most churches I have gone to are very relaxed for clothes, it is more important for people to come. I would recommend slacks or a skirt and a nice top (assuming R. is a woman?). Just something you would wear to a nice restaurant. If you don't know the times of the service, just call the office and it is usually on their answering machine.

Just so you know, you are not alone. My church is really far from my house, and doesn't have that community feel, so I don't go often. I have considered trying out other churches (and religions) to see if something feels better to me. And to meet people and get that sense of community.

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M.L.

answers from Houston on

Interesting question, I am Mormon myself and get what you mean by feeling forced to go as a youth. After several years of wandering though, I decided to go back on my own as an adult as I studied the doctrine and prayed for my own testimony and am so glad I did. Its very different being an adult who believes out of faith, than being a youth who didn't get it.

I do agree with others though, if you go to a church to meet people, it would not be an accurate representation of yourself, and you may feel that same apprehension or even frustration towards them when they keep inviting you back and to be saved and hear the messages as you do to your parents.

Why don't you go instead to a non-religious community, there are plenty of neat things you can do. Such as volunteering at a hospital, animal shelter, join a local book club or whatever. There ar elots of moms groups, womens clubs... go to meetup.com to find something in your area, and lots of small towns have club info in their newspapers. Basically, reach out to envelope a group of people in which you share common interests so you can develop in an area you are interested in.

If you are still intent on visiting a church, call them, ask the service times and ask what is typical to wear. Many are casual, some, like the LDS prefer to dress in Sunday dress. Just represent yourself as one who is looking for friends as opposed to faith when you arrive.

Also, my husband and I took a religions course through a local college several years ago, one part of the class for our term paper was to visit with religions very different that our own. We attended both a Jewish and Buddhist meetings. We told them we were there to learn and they were both very kind. It is interesting to learn about other faiths.

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P.O.

answers from Harrisburg on

R.,

Don't make it so technical, just go and follow your heart.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

There are so many other ways to "meet people of the community" than at church! Do some volunteer work, join a club, organization, book club, etc.

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L.C.

answers from Dover on

If you are find the right kind of church then, no matter your reason, as long as you are kind and respectful of their feelings, you will be welcomed there. If you find a really good church you will be loved.

If you call the churches they will tell you what times they start what services. Some have traditional and contemporary services. Traditional means it's more old fashioned and a lot of the older members like that one. The contemporary usually has more upbeat music, casual dress, a relaxed atmosphere and messages more relatable to today's culture and experiences. Usually traditional service is first (roughly 8:00 - 9:00 AM) and contemporary follows after that one (usually between 10:00 and 11:00 AM).
Wear whatever you are comfortable wearing. I usually go with jeans and a shirt, and do my makeup and hair. Kind of like casual Fridays at work.

I think church is a great way to meet people. Sure there are a few bad apples now and again, but aren't there everywhere? On the whole you will find well meaning, kind people who are doing their best to do their best. Not a bad crowd.

Hope this helps,

L.

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S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

That would totally be fine! Any church worth going to will not only be accepting of you but will welcome you with open arms. My church would love the fact that you're there to learn about christianity even if you're not thinking of converting.

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B.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

I am a retired Catholic myself. After years of searching for the "church" that I could "fit in to", I finally found a "church" that fit ME! It is so wonderful. You can find a centre near you at http://www.rsintl.org/. Check it out.

OR AND check out www.MeetUp.com to find local groups who have similar interests as you do.

B.
Family Success Coach

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L.B.

answers from Biloxi on

Being lazy today, I have not read all other posts. :P

You may be happier trying a few non-denominational Christian churches first. If the service times are not listed just call and ask. Also ask about out of church/after church activities...it is at the pot luck suppers and ladies night out that you will really get to know the other congregants.

I am Baptist and find these to be very friendly churches also with a lot of out of church time activities.

I don't see anything wrong with going to church and being agnostic. I used to be agnostic but I began attending church so my son would have a Christian base. Now I am Baptist - God works in mysterious ways. LOL
Just be respectful and ask questions if you have them. Churches are a nice social venue. When my stepmother moved back to home state at retirement she attended TWO local churches for the social aspect and to reconnect with her home town.

Also check out your local R. Cross, United Way, etc., for volunteer opportunities - another great way to meet people and become immersed in your new community.

Welcome Home !!!!

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

It's not a bad idea, but another good way to meet people is to join your local Chamber of Commerce.
A good friend of mine met her future husband that way.

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C.B.

answers from Dallas on

I was born and raised mormon- so I understand about not knowing anything else. I am currently attending a church called Life Church- it is Assemblies of God. I like it because it is a very relaxed and accepting environment- all people are welcome and the people are all really nice and friendly. I see no problem with going to a church just to find some friends. I would "shop around" and see what type of service you feel more comfortable with. This one took a little getting used to - the mormon service is very conservative and quiet, this one has a live band, people clap and say"amen". I think it's great! but it did take a while to get used to! And I haven't "joined" this church- I am not looking to "join" another church either- but for now, this one fits what my family and I need.
Good luck!
~C.

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P.K.

answers from Raleigh on

hi there,
It would absolutely not be offensive to go to some different churches to meet people. If the churches do not post their times just find out their names and see if they have a website that posts the different times. If not, I would go inside and ask someone what time their services are. I would not worry too much about what churches teach what. Like you said, you are there to learn which ones teach what and make a decision on your own as to what one makes sense. I would say you can seriously wear anything you want. Churches don't care what you look like. My husband and I went to a bunch of different churches also. I was brought up Catholic but decided after visiting a bunch of other churches to join a Baptist church. I would recommend a christian church. The key is a healthy church. One that preaches from the bible and does not make up rules of their own. I find that a good healthy baptist church does not judge others. Good luck and good for you for asking questions of faith and being interested in making a decsion that makes sense to you. I will be praying for you. Take care.

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M.R.

answers from Columbus on

Ditto the Religion v. Denomination comment. If you are limiting yourself to Christian exploration, then you are looking at denominations. Some are going to be more conservative and may not appreciated your stated reason for attending, some will see you as a challenge to convert, and some will take little notice of your reasons for being at their serivices. I would suggest that you not share why you are there, it is not necessary, and you do not owe any other person an explanation for why you have choses to attend a church serivce, however, you may find that if you want to be involved in the day to day activities you will have to join the church, and then they kind of make it their business.

I would suggest that you check the yellow pages and church websites for service times, and then make a round robbin of the different places you would like to explore, and if you are so moved, choose one that makes you feel the most comfortable, and make an appointment with the pastor, reverend, or preist at that church and discuss your feelings about why you are there. They may be able to tell you more about what you want to know and will be able to help you in your decernment about faith.

On another note, you could check out the unitarian church if there is one close by. You may find many of the same yolk and they may be very accepting of your purpose. There is a certain expectation that people who attend our social events at our Catholic church also share the same faith based understanding, so while it would not be out of the ordinary to have someone at a fish fry, for instance, who did not beleive, it would be odd to have you attend a Mom's gathering where we had all come together with the intention to discuss how Mary can help us to be better mothers through praying the rosery. I would find your input at the second meeting distracting, and your addition to the discussion disapointing (not because I would not respect your opinion nor value it in another circumstance-but some of our most social meetings do revolve around our faith) if you had no real interest in our undertaking.

It would be fine with me to have a discussion with you about your desire to make friends and be part of your community (meaning town, not church or parrish) while eating fish, or sitting next to you at mass even, or laughing with you at bingo. At my parrish, your motivation would not be a problem unless you joined in on the more faith related activities that really do require you to beleive as we beleive and share your experience as a believer, which is the point of Church when you get right down to it, and I for one, would welcome anyone, but would be especially joyous to welcome a new believer. Of course, you do have to beleive and be confirmed to recieve the sacraments, and I assume that in other churches your lack of faith may also limit your particpation in some ways.

Expect that we will discuss things that are faith related, even at social events, because that is the point, and that is no act for the faithful. Sometimes the message is going to be about how you act, and what you should beleive, and that is the reason why the faithful are there.

M.

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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

Good for you...With the beauty of the internet, look up churches in your area. They tend to have their individual websites and tell you about their mission and purpose. The website should also indicate upcoming events and of course service times. Now a days as long as you aren't showing up "naked" I think you should wear what you feel comfortable in. I go to a church that encompasses everyone from shorts in the summer to fur coats in the winter. Just be tasteful! :) It is not in poor taste to go and investigate a few churches to see where the best fit is for you. Perhaps you will let God back into your life and lead you where you feel at home , spiritually fed and in community with potential life long friends. Best wishes.

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L.L.

answers from Washington DC on

I would definitely try to find an Unitarian Universalist church (which is very accepting of agnostics) or one of the more liberal denominations. They would definitely be more open to someone who is agnostic, seeking, or just unsure of what they believe. I think folks in the more liberal denominations would be less likely to be offended by your participation than folks in more fundamentalist churches. You know, even in church (depending on the denomination), you'd be surprised how rarely the issue of your personal belief comes up. People are unlikely to ask you to justify yourself or to profess a certain belief unless you are asking to have your child or yourself baptized, confirmed, married. I wouldn't advertise your doubt, but I wouldn't conceal it either.

Many churches have websites that can provide you more insight into what kind of community they are, when their services are, and what types of support or social groups they have. I think you've gotten good advice about dress, but one thing I would caution you about is taking communion. In some churches, it is not acceptable to take communion if you are not a believer (in the case of the Catholic church--you have to be a Catholic and meet some other requirements). I have no problem just respectfully staying in the pew and letting others pass in front of me to take communion.

People go to church for all sorts of things--many for social reasons. Whether they will admit it is a different thing. I've heard several sermons (given by more liberal clergy) about the fact that everyone has different reasons for going to church and that community (or fellowship) is definitely a legitimate reason. I know that there are many in my faith community that aren't quite sure if there is a God, but are seeking.

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E.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi R.,

I think finding the right fit in a church might be just the way to go! I just want to encourage you to try a Methodist/Lutheran church. In our community, they don't have the formality of the more orthodox/traditional or carnival of the new age/liberal. Methodism focuses on the way you are as a Christian.

My family all converted to Mormonism when I was 13. I didn't (imagine how that went over). I actually told them that if I was a boy, I would, but since I wanted a career, I didn't think it worked for me! I remained going to the church I had been going to all along (alone). Joseph Smith was Methodist before he found the tablets. I find it to be a very happy medium.

Best of luck in your decision!

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T.H.

answers from Kansas City on

I don't think anyone would find it offensive. I would, however, think it through more though because you really want to figure out if you're going to church to meet people or if you're going to find out answers to questions you may have. Maybe it's both and there's certainly nothing wrong with that, but I think part of the comfort of church is being there with people who have the same (or at least similar) beliefs as you. It's a place where you don't have to be questioned and people understand you on a different level. I guess I mean that I wouldn't just 'church hop' to find a group of friends as much as I'd explore the churches to see if they think like you. In the process you may meet some people with which you'd like to continue a friendship, but ultimately, even if you're just going to make friends, you're going to have to be comfortable there and you won't be comfortable if the general vibe of the church is one that you don't agree with. So, I would maybe do some "research" (like like on line for the core beliefs about that particluar demonimation) about the different types of churches in town and see which ones may have the kind of people/vibe you are into. As far as what to wear, we were always raised to never wear jeans to church and every week I usually wear or dress or skirt, but sometimes I wear slacks. Although, most people at my church are like that, I actually think it's almost a cultural thing, but whatever...my point is ;) that many services aren't that strict any more so I'd err on the side of dressy the first few times with slacks and a blouse or a simple skirt and just go with the flow after that!

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M.W.

answers from Chicago on

Because of all your interests listed above (friendship, community, what different religions teach....) and your willingness to learn and listen, may I suggest you visit as many churches as your heart desires?

Also, take a look at my church online. Look at as many of the videos posted. If you like what you hear, try to find something similar in your community and give that a try. It took my husband and I 2 years before finding this church in our community. 2 years!!!! Every Sunday we'd go and visit churches in our community and not one seemed to be the right place. Then one Sunday my husband was reading the local paper and saw Harvest Church Plainfield listed. And do you know the lady greeting everyone at the door greeted us like we were friends she hadn't seen in a long time. She didn't just say welcome. She embraced me as if she knew me personally. I soon found out that there were some very friendly people there and it continues to be so over the last 8 years.

So, we went looking for a church home and found some wonderful friends over these last 8 years. Friends that I talk to and hang out with outside of church. Your search is just the opposite of mine and just like I found what I was looking for AND MORE..... so will you!

http://www.harvestplainfield.com/

~M.

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M.H.

answers from Raleigh on

I think the best way to figure it all out is to call some of the local churches that you are interested in. Ask them what time their services are and what people normally wear. We went to a Southern Baptist church that was VERY dressy, and we are currently going to a Baptist church that wants everyone comfy (jeans, khakis, etc.). I think it's great that you are interested in the different faiths. I suggest trying Catholic, Methodist, Presbyterian, Baptist, and non-denominational (they usually don't have any sort of "title" in their name). That should give you a fairly broad range. I would also ask the churches if they have different services. Some churches have a traditional service and a contemporary service. One may appeal to you more than another. Good luck...I hope that along the way something "clicks" for you too! :)

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...

answers from Phoenix on

I'd try non-denominational bible believing churches, even if you don't believe in the bible. It would be totally fine to try different churches each week to find the one you like. You may need to try each church more than once. Good luck to you and I wish you the best.

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D.B.

answers from Memphis on

Small communities do tend to be more religious than larger ones for some reason. And everyone tends to know everyone else. I don't think going to various churches to meet people is the right thing to do. Churches are where like-minded people come together to worship God in the way they are accustomed to doing so. It's also a place for people seeking answers to whatever they are going through. It's generally not a meet/greet kind of place, know what I mean?

You will get various responses when people know that you're an agnostic seeking friendships and not answers of a more spiritual nature. Many wont know what to make of it and yes may be uncomfortable because they don't get that answer often, LOL. I think many people fall into a routine of their denomination, like you saw with your Mormon background. Some will think they need to lay hands on you, pray for you, visit you, etc. Some will be offended as they don't feel church is there for hookups (not indicating dating ones) and therefore feel your motives may be shallow.

I would look and see if they have a community center you could get involved with. The little town we came from had a Gas station/convenience store/cafe combination that was THE hang out of the town, LOL. We also had a group of women that did volunteer work in the community & that might be a great place to look too.

IMHO, going to church just to meet people is shallow and I'm not sure you'll bond as well with those that have a deep faith as well as you would by finding friends in other areas of town.

I don't mean to come across judgemental or rude, just trying to be honest.

I miss a small town. I now live in a large one and it's just not the same.

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K.H.

answers from Dallas on

I really don't see this as a good idea. If you are uninterested in learning the beliefs of a church, then aren't you misleading the people you are there to meet? People in a church come from all different walks of life. Many have absolutely nothing in common except for their religion. I'd reconsider making friends under false pretenses, because if you are deceptively coming into their congregation with no intention of accepting or learning the faith that brings you together with them, they will realize it eventually. It seems to me that this would compromise your integrity in their eyes and cause you to live dishonestly. Be true to your beleifs (whatever they may be), but respect those who come together for the sake of practicing their beleifs with others who share their faith by not using them as your social "foot-in-the-door".

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F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I would try http://www.meetup.com, it's free. Just put in your zip code and there are "meetups" with people looking to meet other people. There are probably agnostic groups, religious, hiking, bowling, movies, family, whatever your interests are. Good luck!

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M.M.

answers from Providence on

I find your honestly refreshing. I am a Christian and have been for a long time. If I ran into in my church I would be happy to become friends. I agree with what someone else said, that if you go to a church and you are not welcomed for who you are than you should find another place. My church would be happy to have you. :) Enjoy your searching!

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K.P.

answers from New York on

This is an interesting question b/c my first reaction is to ask why you would assume that a church is the only way to meet people. It's seems like you would be presenting a "false self" at church gatherings and some may find it offensive if you suddenly stop going. I know that I would be offended. Not only that, are you looking to attend services or their functions. Really think this one through. Remember that community libraries (especially in small towns) have a lot of functions as well. In fact, we attend something at the library in our small town at least 3 times a month. You could also look into volunteering to meet people.

If you want to go this route, call the different chruches and ask whomever answers the phone what time Sunday services are scheduled. As for clothing, that depends on the culture of the church and time of day. We attend Saturday Night Vigil where most people wear jeans and nice sweaters, but the same parish on Sunday looks much different... dresses, skirts, khakis and button-downs.

I am asking you to really think about this and see if there are other ways to meet people. Church-hopping just to make friends with no intention of participating in the reason the rest of them are there seems very misleading and could result in more harm then good. Remember that small towns mean lots of coffee-shop talk. If word gets out of your plan you could find yourself in a tough spot.

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J.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

Go to church to find community in your faith. Call a church you want to attend and ask them your questions. Each church has different opinions on what is acceptable to wear.

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K.S.

answers from Raleigh on

You would fit right in, in a unitarian or unity church. However, pick the most relaxed congregation in town and try it. The church is the people, so if you like them, you may enjoy yourself. I always found so much hypocrisy, that I spent my Sundays, relaxing and being with the children, in a park or some outing. Good luck, and happy hunting. Don't make your feelings known to everyone, that would not be appreciated.

J.B.

answers from Houston on

I think going to church to meet people is a fantastic idea. Dress depends on the church, if you choose a bible church or non demoninational church, then jeans and a nice shirt are fine. If you have a Vineyard church in your area, I really suggest you check it out. It is very low key, very low pressure and very friendly. They would welcome you with open arms, be friendly and let you think on things yourself and be there if you wanted to talk or had questions. If you try a denominational church, like it says Methodist, Lutheran etc on the sign, then I would call and ask about the dress style of the church. My husband and I were recently looking for a church and when we saw one that looked interesting I would just jot down the name and go home and look it up online to find out more about it. If there was no website, it was off the list!! We figured in that case it was way too small and there would be way to much pressure to join if they only had a few people!! :D I am a Christian, but like you I wanted to take my time and really think about where I wanted to be and the group I wanted to associate with. I wanted to listen to the message several times and just see what I thought. It took us a year, but we finally found a place we like and the people are the greatest:) So just google away and make some phone calls and I think you will find a nice place to meet people and plug into your community. Take care!!
p.s. I just wanted to add that knowing you were an agnostic would have absolutely no bearing on me wanting to be friends with you if I met you at my church, and I would welcome and questions you had and let you make the decisions for your life, I think many Christians feel this way. If we clicked and wanted to have a coffee that would be so great. We could even just talk hair and pedicures. I think that people who love God should be the friendliest people in the world :D

D.M.

answers from Denver on

If you have a local UCC, you might like it and you'd be welcome, agnostic and all:
http://www.ucc.org/

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G.B.

answers from Tulsa on

I joined the church as an adult and really bought into the sisterhood stuff and all the other stuff too. I was very soon disillusioned and no longer attend. I was on bedrist facing a possible emergency hysterectomy and making puddles of blood every time I stood up. A member of the RS Pres. came over and then called Child Welfare to remove my kids because my trash needed to be taken out. It was of course determined to be unfounded but still the breach of trust I felt was the last straw. No one had been in my house except for 2 best friends in months and months so I know exactly who it was.

If you call the numbers int he phone book you can ask the secretary the questions you need answered about times and style of services.

As for dress think... Choir practice in the sanctuary...still a dress but very simple or casual. More and more church services are going very casual, which I find very uncomfortable. I like dressing up...lol. I cannot imagine going to church in shorts and a tank top....wearing flip flops.

The different churches will each have their own beliefs that designate who they are and what they stand for. Such as the LDS believe in the Temple and everything they do is geared to being able to attend there.

I grew up going to the Baptist Church at the end of our street because that's as far as I was allowed to go by myself. I changed to a Pentacostal style church in high school because my best friend went to one. I then joined and Assembly of God church after graduating. I ended up going to a non denominational church for several years, even singing on the praise and worship team, and then joined the LDS church.

So, I have had a bit of variation but nearly as much as there is out there. I googled the differences in religions and Wiki had the best list of all the ones that are of a certain size. You might try to look up the home website for a certain denomination to get the actual beliefs. Such as trying to find out what Southern Baptist believe, go to their home web site...http://www.sbc.net/. that's the horses mouth, so to speak.

I hope you meet lots of new people and find a place you feel comfortable.

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R.U.

answers from Nashville on

Hi, i was raised presbyt. But am now a general baptist. I have found that the baptist go by the book to where i can understand it. Keep on going to churches (church shopping) that is what i call it, you never know , god just might speak right to your heart. I will be praying for you. In his name R.

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