CIO (Yes Another Sleep Question)

Updated on April 27, 2011
K.D. asks from Woodland, CA
16 answers

I know, I know, not another sleep question from another mom!! But, I have searched and searched, and I feel like I need to post my own question. So, please bear with me :)

My son will be 6 months next week. He used to wake every 3-4 hours to nurse, until he turned about 4 months. For the last week or so, he has been waking ever hour, and its getting harder to get him back to sleep, especially in the wee morning hours. He definately doesn tover-nap during the day (about three 30-min naps daily.)

I am debating whetther to try CIO method, but I also have an almost-two-year-old, and I dont want to wake him up with a crying baby. Baby sleeps in his own room, has never co-slept. I feed cereal at night, as close to bed as I can. I am also worried about CIO method, bc I cant stand hearing him cry when I know he will stop if I just go pick him up! :(

Needless to say, I am exhausted. I need a solution :/

What can I do next?

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J.C.

answers from New York on

I'm a big fan of CIO. It works really well IF you do it correctly. Once you decide to do it, there is no backing down. It's really an all or nothing method. Send a PM if you want more on how to do it.

3 moms found this helpful
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L.A.

answers from New York on

Read the Sleep Training book by Dr. Ferber. The methodology made good sense. It was heartwrenching for us too, but we are so happy to have helped him learn to sleep

1 mom found this helpful

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M.M.

answers from Chicago on

There are many version of "controlled crying" and you have to find what you're comfortable with.

I did full CIO with mine. (Close the door and don't go back in until morning)
It is the fastest way to go, but you have to be willing to endure 2-3 nights crying bouts. It WILL work, and quickly. (and then you'll wonder why you didn't do it sooner)

Other methods will also work, they'll just take longer, as long as you're consistent.

My most recent adventure with this was 3 months ago. DD was 22 weeks.
Night 1: Cried at 9pm for 30 minutes. At 2am for 20 minutes. Up at 5.
Night 2: Cried at 9pm for 25 minutes. Up at 5:30.
Night 3: Didn't wake up...hasn't since! :)
She sleeps and naps like a dream now.

Here's what I can tell you. My best friend and her DH are behavioral psychologists with 20 yrs of child development and education behind them. You ARE NOT emotionally damaging your child. Don't let anyone tell you that. (people out here will)

Do what is right for you. Baby will be fine with whatever you choose - bottom line.
Good luck!

4 moms found this helpful
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D.C.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Since he used to wake every 3-4 hours, and now he suddenly wakes more often, I suspect that something is going on that you need to figure out. Which means its not the time to try CIO.

It could be that he's going through a growth spurt and is really hungry right now and he simply needs to nurse more often for a L. while.

It could be that he's getting teeth and they are waking him up because they hurt. My baby wants to nurse when he's teething, because he associates nursing with comfort. So this exact situation (waking often, wanting to nurse, and not wanting to go back to sleep) happens in my house every time my son is getting new teeth.

I totally understand your exhaustion. And I'm not universally opposed to CIO - I've done it. But only when I'm SURE that all the baby's needs have been met - he's not hungry, he's not hurting in any way.

3 moms found this helpful
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K.K.

answers from Austin on

I have 3 kids. I have never used CIO. I think it is mean. Would you want someone to lock you in a room all by yourself and let you cry and never come to check on you? I know that when I am crying I want someone to comfort me. These days go by so fast. One day and one day soon your baby won't need you to comfort them in the middle of the night. I know, I have a 6 year old and a 15 year old. My one year old still wakes 2-3 times a night. Yes, I am tired but I know this too shall pass.

2 moms found this helpful
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V.T.

answers from Dallas on

I would take a 5 minute shower why my baby was CIO. I got a shower and I didn't have to hear her cry. With my daughter, we couldn't do the go in and sooth without picking up, it only made her worse. So what worked for us was to just not go back in, and if we did go back in, we had to pick her up, leave the room to calm her down and then put her back in. What I would be concerned about at 6 months is teething. Check his gums. He maybe hurting and just needs a L. Tylenol.

2 moms found this helpful

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

I swear by "Ferberizing". :)
But, I agree with Diane, that you need to rule out other possibilities of a problem first. How long has your L. one been eating cereal? Could he have gas that is causing him to wake? My son did... a dropper of simethicone (Mylicon or generic) solved that issue for us.
What method do you use to get him to go to sleep initially at bedtime? Do you put him in bed when he is still slightly awake? Or do you wait for him to fall completely to sleep and THEN put him in bed. At his age, he will begin waking at night and begin practicing the new skills he is learning... babbling, blowing raspberries, sitting, etc. So, he is going to have moments when he is awake during the night even if nothing is wrong. If you want to sleep train, begin with teaching him how to self-soothe when it is sleep time. Putting him to bed still slightly awake, but very drowsy. Then, when he wakes during the night to practice his skills, he will be able to go back to sleep on his own--without needing you to rock him/nurse him through it. My kids only woke during the night if there was a problem. Gas, mostly, with my son. My daughter I don't really remember ever waking for much of anything once she was sleeping through. Not until she was more like 2, and started to have scary dreams or thunderstorms woke her or something like that.

1 mom found this helpful
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R.K.

answers from Boston on

Feeding cereal at night to help babies sleep is a myth. My guess is your son is having a growth spurt or is teething. Try a dream feed before you go to bed, cry it out will not work if he is hungry or in pain from teeth.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.E.

answers from Denver on

How long do you wait before going in to pick up your baby? I ask because we had similiar issue with our L. girl - and the second I heard her peep I was in there checking on her, etc. My husband, on the other hand, suggested we wait a few minutes (say 5 or so) to see if she was REALLY awake before heading to her room.
It really helped. Sometimes she would cry for a few minutes, or babble, and then quiet back down. So...if you can tolerate it...wait 5 minutes before going to check on the L. one. He might just settle himself back down.
As for CIO - ehh - it works and it doesn't work. We ended up doing it with our first born because we created some really poor sleep habits early on. With our daughter I read the Ferber book and implemented those strategies from the start. They worked great until she had her first ear infection (something you might want to check in your L. guy) and then was up pretty much non-stop until she was a year and we had tubes put in.
Good luck

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R..

answers from Chattanooga on

I tried CIO... but it just wasn't for us. My DD is pretty stubborn, and would scream until she made herself sick... and she could keep it up for hours! (We stuck it out for 5 hours one night until I couldn't stand it any more, and decided that we would find another way.)

Try reading the No-cry sleep solution. I didn't really follow the 'method' in the book, but it did give me a lot of insight into baby sleep cycles, and helped me come up with my own method of sleep 'training'. She has gone from waking up evere 30-45 minutes, to twice a night.. when I stopped trying to get her to sleep longer. (I don't mind nursing her twice.) She will still wake up more sometimes, but she can and will calm herself down and go back to sleep... so CIO is not the only option to teach them healthy habits! so it worked for us!!!

1 mom found this helpful

J.G.

answers from St. Louis on

Ear plugs?

Thing with letting them cry it out is they learn how to get themselves back to sleep. Think of it this way, everytime you go in there you just walked in one second before he would figure it out on his own......makes it a bit easier to wait it out.

1 mom found this helpful

A.F.

answers from Chicago on

We went through this -- our first 2 kiddos were 17 mos apart. Once we started CIO, we went in to sooth our older child who was just about 2 at the time. We had wanted to start CIO and dropping some of the night time feedings around 7 mos but our son got ill from a respiratory virus and lost weight....so doc said we would have to wait until he made strides on the weight gain again. At 9 mos, we finally did it....I dropped one nursing session at at time until he was sleeping 11-12 hours straight through without nursing. He did go through stages of waking every hour for a while -- do NOT nurse every hour--that is NUTS! You would be nothing but a human pacifier in that instance because he doesn't need to eat every hour. Also, drop the evening nap and try to concentrate on 2 longer ones in morning and afternoon.
Good luck and Best Wishes!

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B.B.

answers from San Antonio on

I, like others have said, would check and make sure nothing is wrong with him.
We used CIO with both of ours (with slight "Ferber-style" modifications. It worked wonderfully. Our son was in the next room while using it with our daughter, and he never stirred once. My suggestion for the hard time hearing them cray i to have a book handy (you know you will be up anyway till they stop), turn on the TV, something to distract you. It really did work for us.

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B.

answers from Augusta on

at 6 months you are looking at several things going on, teething, GROWTH SPURT, etc
First thing I would try and feed him. he could be doing cluster feedings which all babies go through feed him and see what happens.
Give him some motrin for teething pain and see if that helps.
Feeding cereal at night is not a 100% way to get them to sleep all night that is an old wives tale.
With only 3 30 min naps he's likley over tired, that can also cause them to get up more at night. he should be having 2 - 2 hr naps.
I live by this saying, God gave us instincts for a reason DON'T IGNORE THEM. Your instincts are telling you to go in and pick him up. Babies don't cry for no reason.

H.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

Is your baby sleeping in a silent room? Our white noise machine has been the #1 POSITIVE thing in our lives as parents. The muffle of sound and not being woken up by every crack in the wall or floor. It's worth every penny.

Do not nurse ever hour! Turn him on his side and rub his back and sooth him in any way other than the breast. (every 4 hours, sure, but at 6 months he can make it that long.)

Is there a evening nap? Work on losing it! No sleep after 4pm!

At 6 months, it's not awful to consider cio. A few rough nights, and eventually peace! Good luck!

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T.H.

answers from Sacramento on

I think CIO is a reasonable option. We have two kids about 2 years apart and we had to do CIO with both. We were also worried about the baby waking his brother, but my oldest generally slept through it all which really surprised us. I've done cold turkey before where you close the door and don't come back, but I really hated it and it was too hard for me to be consistent and not make up excuses why I had to go and check on him. The method that I like is from a book called "the Sleep Easy Solution." It's a CIO method, but it gives you a system for gradually weaning the baby at night so you don't worry about him waking up hungry and it allows you to be consistent with the baby EVERY time he wakes. It's worth a read. It was the only time I left my baby to cry and I felt confident that he was just crying to cry--not because he was wet, cold etc. Good luck!

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