Circumcision (NOT a Debate, Just Looking for Real Stories on Your DS.)

We are Jewish. This was not a decision for us, it was a given. Completely uneventful. Done in the hospital by the physician (not a moyel). No complications, no obvious pain, nothing.

My son is 11 and not circumsized. We didnt see a point in it. He has never had an issue. We have never had to do anything extra. No extra cleaning. When we told the dr we werent doing it, he said "good choice" I think it is more common not to circumsize, so if a woman has an issue with it when he becomes sexually active, that is her problem. I worry about locker room talk, but it really does seem to be a 50/50 thing these days, so we will deal with it when/if it happens. If my son chooses to become circumsized when he is older, that is fine too.

No circumcisions for my three sons. Where I am, probably only one in twenty boys are done. There's only one doctor in this area who will actually do it. No problems for my sons.

Both my boys are circumcised. Like Jo, I have asked them if they were traumatized in any way because of it. They both said that only me asking that question was traumatic! LOL (they are 26 and 31) I was also banned from watching Oprah and reading websites like this one. :D The circumcisions were no big deal with either of them. The younger one slept through his!

I have known two adult men and one older child (8 yrs) who needed to be circumcised. It was not so easy at that age.

I don't really know that there is a right or wrong answer here. I think you need to do what you think is best for your child. Good luck!

We did not choose to circumcise our son. (My mom had a big opinion about it and shared it freely:) But we did our research and considered different aspects and decided it wasn't necessary. Our son hasn't had any issues in terms of infection or healing... healed up just fine, works just fine, didn't have to do any special cleaning or pulling back of anything.

I think the decision NOT to circumcise has grown in the last several years and I think it will continue to. So in terms of your son feeling different from other boys in the locker room ( one of my mom's concerns) I think there will be a mix of boys who are and who aren't and it won't matter.

We only have one other child, a daughter, so there's been no comparing the way it could be with two boys, as in your situation. But my husband is circumcised and our son has seen his parts. So far, at 6, he hasn't mentioned it or questioned why he looks different.

It is a huge decision and yours to make on behalf of your son. There are always the stories about why to and why not to and the ones about infections, and botched ones... it's just the statistics. You'll choose what you think is best for him, and once you make the decision you probably won't worry much about it anymore~ Good luck.

We choose not to do circumcision on our son and have not regreted our decision.

I've also babysat other small children and many of those children were not circumcised either.

We didn't see any positive evidence that circumcision was medically necessary.

Are there really boys who sit around discussing this topic with their moms later in life?? I just can not imagine a mom & son sitting around the kitchen table, having a cup of coffee, discussing if he was or wasn't circumcised. Maybe I am missing something...

My son is circumcised, I never even thought about not having him circumcised and 4 years later, everything is just fine.

The best choice is your choice.

Yes, my son was circumcized. My husband and I were in full agreement about it all the way. My baby didn't even cry and had no problems with healing, etc.
My daughter knew she was having a boy and there was no question about circumcision. I actually could not believe the grief she got from the nurses at the hospital who ALL tried repeatedly to talk her out of it. It was very upsetting for her and frankly it ticked me off.
Working in the OB department at a different hospital, I had never heard any parent given such grief over their decision to circumcize or not, to have their baby's hearing tested or not, to have the drops put in the baby's eyes or not.....parents DO get to make their own decisions, for heaven's sake.
They don't even perform circumcisions at the hospital my grandson was born in so I don't know why they had to hound on her so much. She's 24 not 14.
Fortunately, she has a Jewish female pediatrician who performed the procedure and my grandson sailed through it with no problems with healing, etc.

This is a personal decision and it should be made as such between the mother and father. If the mother and father don't agree, that's another issue, but I don't think anyone outside of the parents has the right to give guilt or grief for their decision either way.

Just my opinion.

I had no doubt in my mind to circ my son. My husband is and as a female I prefer to look at a man who is circumcised not that either is especially pretty. I have heard stories as teenagers in the locker room getting hassled about not being circumcised but never the other way around. It might be painful but ask a 2 year old if they remember it. Im sure vaginal child birth is painful for the child as well but we still try to push them out such a little hole. I would do it if he had a brother who already had it done just so they are the same. imho.

My husband and son are both circumcised and I wouldn't want it any other way. Especially, if you already have a son that "is" circumcised.

My husband is. My son is not.
I do not regret that decision. My DH was on the fence. And he trusted me to do what was right for our baby (now 1.5).
I spent a lot of time praying about it. I did not want to put my son through this...but if God wanted me to...I would.
I got an overwhelming peace after praying and reading my Bible that I did not have to circumcise my boy.
Recently, DH was listening to the book of Romans while driving to work. He came home and told me he was finally at peace w/ it too.
(He originally felt it was something we needed to do as Christians.)
So many moms have been bullied into it while in the hospital. You are not alone. And so many have regrets and later non-matching sons.
I am not saying that to make you feel bad. We all have regrets-I certainly do.
Just saying it happens.
http://www.drmomma.org/2009/12/circumcision-what-i-wish-i...
Dr. Momma has tons and tons of other excellent articles on her site as well as the one above.
I was very blessed to be surrounded by supportive nurses, Dr.'s and pediatricians when my son was born.
I am thinking one day should they ask you tell them the truth.
Why have I (literally talking about me here) been a better mom to my younger child than I was to my oldest?
Because I am growing.
It will be ok. All we can do is our best.
Here is another really powerful article I will leave you w/: http://guggiedaly.blogspot.com/2011/08/how-many-babies-mu...
Best wishes! Congrats on the new baby!

P.S. I would never have allowed my DH to consent w/o first watching a video of it being done...He could not. End of story.
Pamela gave you some links he could watch. ;)

My DS is circumcised and hasn't had any problems with it. That said... if I have another son at some point, I don't think I would do it. DS's father is circed as are all DS's male cousins and uncles, so I just kind of went with it. Aside from being tender at diaper changes for a short time, he didn't have any issues with it BUT...

What's the point?

I am no longer married to DS's father and my SO (who is raising DS with me) is not circed. None of the men in his family are. He is totally healthy and functional and says it was very easy to learn to care for as a child.

Any future son will look different from my DS down there... but seriously... they will be several years apart in age... they're going to look different ANYWAY. Also... how much time do brothers really spend comparing penises?

HTH
T.

I have 3 and 5 year old boys who are both circumcised. I would do it again right now. They were both numbed for the procedure the day after birth and acted like it was no biggie. There were no issues or complications. Personally, I couldn't care less if someone does or doesn't circumcise. My husband wanted them circumcised and that was fine with me. I've been with both types of men, and I will say I find circumcised men preferable, but it never would have been a deal breaker or anything (and I certainly wasn't making the decision for my boys with their future sex lives in mind).

Personally I don't understand those with an obsession on this topic (not you -you're obviously just interested in different ideas and experiences) and have taken it on as some sort of "cause." There are far more serious (and concerning child welfare) issues to dwell on.

Unfortunately - you are going to get passionate replies on this - it IS a "hot" topic on here.

Both of my boys are circumcised and I wouldn't have it any other way. I think they look cleaner, personally. Having two boys - I would much rather them both be the "same".

My girlfriend did not have her sons (twins now almost 3 done) both had infections (yeast and UTI) so ended up having it done 6 months ago. No problems since then.

For many it's not a cosmetic thing - it's a religious decision.

It really doesn't matter what our opinions are - because that is what they are OPINIONS...you can get medical information for doing it and not doing it. But in the end - the choice is yours to make.

We did not circumcise and our son has never had a problem. His dad is not circumcised so this was a very easy decision for us. My husband has never had problems either and honestly, he does really even look uncircumcised. We never really did anything to our son to help the skin pull back...it just did it on it's own. The Dr. told him when he was about 4 to be sure to pull it back in the bath to make sure it is clean and that is all he has had to do. Our son is happy to be uncircumcised like his dad. His cousins and he all had questions when they were younger and were bathing together. We were very matter of fact answering their questions and they all were like, oh, ok, cool. None of them has ever brought it up again. Your decision is a harder decision bc if you do not circumcise you son he will be different from his dad and brother.

I have 2 sons. Both of us had religious and personal reasons and conflicts why we think it should or should not be done. We also had family and friends who did it and some who did not. We researched, we had opinions, we were grossed by the procedure, so I understand your concerns, and the decision is tough to make. I was on the fence either way because I never grew up with boys, so I left the decision to my husband to NOT circumcise my sons. Reality kicked in, and first son was not circumcised, he had a problem and we had to get it done. Best thing we ever did. 2nd son is NOT circumcised, and do not feel the need to do it, because he is fine. It boils down to health issue and religious reasons if you feel so convicted. My advise is if you decide either way to get it done, do it when they are young.

I don't have very strong feelings about either way. My husband was and is pretty adamant about having he circumcision done. My first son was circumcised and the next on be will be too. My husband knew someone who had a lot of problems and ended up getting circumcised as an adult. It was very painful.

This was something I agnoized over with my second son. I have to tell you, if we were not Jewish, I would not have had it done with either of my sons. My first was with my ex, and he felt very strongly that it was important to do it, and I didn't know as much then as I did 8 years later when my third was born, so I went along with it. With my third, as I said, we agnoized over it for a very long time. I met with my Rabbi, did a lot of reading, thinking, praying... My husband is not Jewish, but he made a commitment to our Rabbi when she married us to raise our children as Jews. He said that it was wrong to raise our child as a Jew, but to deny him the identifying characteristics and lifecycle rituals of being Jewish. And, thinking about it, I had to agree. It was done in our home by a moyle who is also an OB. We used a local anaesthetic, it was done very quickly, with him being held by people who cared about him, surrounded by family and friends, and he stopped crying as soon as he was wrapped up again. I cried through the ceremony and could barely get the words out. I found the experience very painful, but, on the other hand, there is no way I would submit my child to something like that and not be there to witness it and share in his pain, and be there to hold him and comfort him immediately afterwards. Neither son had any complications and they both healed just as expected, but I do sometimes regret having it done.

my son has had nothing but issues with his circumcision! the dr didn't take enough skin he was done by the ped in his office at 3 months old, and i didn't know it should have been done by a specialist at that age.He has even had dr's look at him and ask if he is circumcised. we recently had to have it revised, along with a hernia repair, because he would get yeast infections and it would just rub on his undies and cause irritation. I'm so glad my next it a girl because i don't think i would circumcise again if i had another boy. good luck with your baby and your decision

One of my ex's best friends had it done in his early 20s. He was born in Italy and his parents did not have him circumcised as a baby. He wanted to do it for personal reasons. He said it was painful at first. While it was healing, it was uncomfortable particularly when he got an erection. (Can I use that word on this site?) So thats an example of someone who wanted it enough to have it done as an adult. Hope that helps.

I have had my sons circumcised. We did it on the 7th day so I had been changing diapers all week and both of them had been sceamers when it can me to diaper changes so far so of course they sceamed for the circumcision, even with the numbing cream (the cream works, I had some on my hand because I applied it and my fingers were numb!).

I suggest you look into what you need to do for cleaning an uncircumcised one. You have to pull the skin back, and wash under there every few days. And you need to make sure your son does this the rest of his life, so if you can't trust him to wash behind his ears at 10, well, you can bet what else is likely not being washed! How are you going to handle it if you need to go in and clean that for him at 10? Just asking.

my son is not. My sons dr. at the time (we moved) actually even refuses to do it. He is very against it (Dr. Sears). So, we decided to not do it after talking to him about it. I am very happy with my decision. My son did have some UTI's, but they stopped after he was a year old and has not had a problem since.

As a woman, I very much prefer a circumcised man. I have four daughters, so this hasn't been a subject really for us, but we said that if we did have a boy, he'd be circumcised because my husband is circumcised, and I thought it was appropriate to leave the decision mainly up to him.

A friend of mine was not circumcised because his parents wanted him to make the decision of whether or not he wanted to be. At 14 he chose to get a circumcision. He said it was pretty painful, but doesn't regret it at all. He also was thankful to his parents for giving him the decision. He's in his 30's now.

My son was circumcised. It was done the next day after birth, he didn't cry at all. It healed just fine. i have a few friends that kept their sons whole. One got an infection.

If I could go back and do it all over, NONE of my boys would have been.

My youngest two will need to see a doctor when they are old, because when they were healing things did not heal normal...Which was not avoidable.

One was the old fashion way, the other a Plastabell.

My oldest was a Plastabell...and it healed fine on mite.

Both my nephews were not Snipped.

I think both have there plus sides and there neg sides.

I just have come to realize that if it is not a religious necessity, it is more just a western cultural thing. We have come to think that is the ''norm''.

My best friend, is a foster mom(We are family, regardless of bloodlines, so I call him my nephew). When she got my nephew, she was freaking out because she thought his wiener was broken. She had never seen one un- snipped. She was living down stairs from me at the time, so i rushed down there. Oh the chuckle I gave her.

Point being, alot of people do not even think about it. The cultural normal has become that a mom get her son snipped.

I think the rise in people not doing it is the pure fact it is not really a ABSOLUTE NECESSITY, so why put an infant through that trauma regardless of the memory span.

Go with your gut and how you truly feel. Either way, you will still have a happy kiddo:)

My son isn't. He had a lot of health issues as a newborn (all resolved now) and we just couldn't stand to put him through another painful thing after all he had to deal with. He is 5 and so far no problems. As a woman I do have a slight preference for a circumcised partner (but it wouldn't be a deciding factor). My husband's side is part Jewish so it is more common in the family to be circumcised. So far I don't think my son has noticed or cared yet (I doubt he would know about anyone except his dad anyway).

There are reasons both for and against. There is some data that shows that circumcision defends against some sexually transmitted diseases. There are reasons not to do it too. One reason that is less valid these days is so the kid can look like every other boy. I think the rates are getting close to 50/50 on circumcision.

Im having a boy this time around (my third child, first 2 gals) Im leaving this decision ENTIRELY up to my husband and he is really mulling it over, shocking actually since i assumed he'd automatically opt for circumcision.

my boys are both cut, and I think I would probably do so again. I have never met a man that was mad he was cut, but a good friend of mine did not cut her boys and let them decide when they hit puberty. All 3 boys decided to have it done, but it was much more painful for them at that point, and they will remember it. A baby will not remember. But at the same time, most of their friends were probably cut which may have helped lead them to that choice, now a days it is closer to 50/50 so your sons will probably have both cut and uncut friends.

touchy subject, isn't it? My story is like yours....it was simply "done" back then. Both of my sons went thru circumcision, neither regret it. & they have discussed that all of their friends went thru it, too. (tmi, as far as I'm concerned!)

The method used with my older son creates a permanent healing. My younger son had a different method, & it tried reattaching....& we periodically had to "pull" it back. Non-invasive as long as we kept up with it. This seems to be a more common event in today's world. With my daycare, this is something which the parents have had issue with. By age 3-4, the concerns are usually over.

Other than that, I think it boils down to a personal choice. & as a woman, sexually I prefer a circumcision.....

You did one, I think you have to do the other or he will be odd man out. I am
pro circ so even if this was your first boy, I would do it.

I went back and forth on this myself, and there were two factors that made me decide to circumcise my son:

1. There is (or was 5 years ago) a big push in Sub-Sarahan Africa to circumcise all men, since it can significantly lower the transmission rate for AIDS and other STDs.

2. From what I understand, uncircumcised men have to do a certain amount of personal cleaning to keep their bodies hygienic. When I thought of some of the preteen boys I've known, well, I didn't want my son to suffer a serious medical problem if he went through a brief stinky phase.

I respect both sides of this debate, though, and I easily could have been swayed in the other direction. Good luck, whatever you decide to do.

My husband and son are both. No problems with either. My sis's son was circumcised because her husband's family males had a history of issues when they went uncircumcised. Don't know if it runs in the family all over, but I didn't want to take the chance. If your husband's side has complications like Manda, I would do it. If there aren't issues of complications, then I think you would be OK not, but it is your decision. I personally know of no-one who has been upset with mom about it either way.

My son picked up a nasty staph infection in the procedure room. This was 11 years ago.

I had my son circ'd. I did all the research and spoke to my pediatrician, plus I talked to all the doctors I work with (I work in pediatric intensive care). Everyone told me I should do it.

My kiddo got Tylenol and a small dose of morphine prior to the procedure, and he got a penile block, as well. He was swaddled instead of papoosed on a board (which I think makes a big difference) and he got a sucrose pacifier. He didn't cry at all.

He had a gomco (instead of a plasti-bell), and it healed very nicely in about 4-5 days. Now I never have to worry about cleanliness or gangrene, and I'm glad.

I think it is completely up to each family what they choose to do, however I think that you have a more complicated situation now that you have one son who is circumcised. It could be difficult for each of them to understand why they are "the only one". When you explain to your eldest son why his little brother isn't circumcised he may wonder why you didn't think/feel those things for him (even though this is not the case, you will be dealing with a child's perspective). Your younger son, if at some point he feels that not being circumcised makes him "different" he will wonder why his older brother got to be like other boys and he didn't. Not sure, but just a thought. I guess it becomes less about the global issue and more about your family's needs.

My kids are both girls- phew! But my nephews are very close, and one of them recently had to have surgery due to lesions forming because of a botched circumcision at birth... he is 4- poor kid! It was scary and terribly uncomfortable before it was fixed. On the other hand, Almost all the men I know in my family are circumcised with little or no problems. I have heard of boys getting infections when they are not circumcised... It seems either way you run a risk!

As far as what your son will think about his brother and he being "different"- when the days comes that he asks you could just tell him the truth, matter of factually: "when brother was born, we decided to circumcise him, but when you came along, we decided not to" People are different, parents are not infallible, and our minds change. He probably won't think much of it until he is much older...

For me... I would leave the decision to my husband... Oh peanut gallery I hear ya "what a cop out!"- yep! I am not a man... I don't know what they feel about it DEEP down inside. My husband is the only one who knows at all... If it were all up to me, alone... I probably would not circumcise, just because I don't see any really compelling reasons TO do it, and it is something that could be done later in life if it became that important to someone. That and after seeing the anguish my nephew's (uncommon) botched circumcision, I wonder if it is worth it do do at birth anyways. But, nevertheless, I would let my husband choose if we were to have a boy... maybe it is a really big deal to them!? Either way, I don't think it is a "cruel" thing to do to boys, nor is it a "better" thing to do... In my opinion it is just one of those things, like whether or not to pierce an girl infant's ears - it is up to you and whatever you decide is ok. I am sure you kids wont be scarred for life either way!

-M.

We had our son done and he never cried and it healed just fine. I didn't want to go the route of not doing it. There is a risk of infection if you don't clean it properly. Plus I didn't want him to feel different. It's not that big of a deal. If you wait and he decides to do it when he is older, it is more painful. Since you had one son done why get the other. Like you said he will ask why he is different from his brother.
My son is 2 months old and he is just fine. I feel better knowing that it was done.