There are probably as many ways to clean diapers as there are moms :) The right answer will at least in part depend on your water (hard or soft) and your washer.
I have heard wonderful things about Rockin Green soap, which was designed specifically for diapers; the down side is having to order it online.
I'm too busy to do that, or to manage a crazy routine.
We use a dry pail - we have a bit wet bag in a trash can. Diapers go in there when dirty (we're working on adding in solids; when the poop is fairly solid, we shake it off into the toilet, if not, we just throw it all in the pail. We wash every other day, so nothing has time to really sit and get smelly.
First, I throw everything into the washer on a cold rinse - our washer does an extra rinse as an option, so I always put that on too.
Then I do a hot cycle with the extra rinse on. We use a mix of equal parts baking soda, oxyclean, and plain old Tide - largely because I'm allergic to a lot of other soaps. We use about half a scoop of this mix in the load, and 1/2-1 cup of white vinegar in the softener dispenser.
That's it - when the wash is done, either into the dryer or out on the line.