How stressful!
I found this:
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/131823/the_stain...
Usually anything red lands directly on the lightest colors you're wearing. It's like a magnet. Pasta sauce, salsa, hot sauce, ketchup, they're all bright red. The best way to get the stain out completely is to run it for several minutes under extremely hot water. Because most red sauces and products are derived from tomatoes, at least in part, they're mostly water based. All fruits are mostly water, making them easier to clean. Naturally derived products are easier to flush out of fabrics than synthetic or processed products. If there is still a remnant of a stain after several minutes of water flushing, remove the clothing from the water. Brush a small amount of soap into the stained area. Try using lemon dish soap and an old toothbrush. Dish soap is designed for greasy, oily foods while the citrus of lemon cuts through dirt and residue quickly. Pull the garment taught and gently scrub the stain with the toothbrush. Add a bit more soap and let the article sit for 30 minutes. After thirty minutes, repeat the hot water flushing. If the stain is still visible, repeat the steps above. Once the stain is mostly gone, add a small dab of soap to the stain and toss in your hamper. Letting the dish soap sit for a few more hours or days will loosen any remaining particles of the stain. Toss the item into your wash load as usual. Make sure to check the garment before throwing it in the dryer, as this will only set any remaining stain into the fabric."
Actually, you can find all kinds of tips by googling "clean hot sauce stain." Here's the direct link that came up http://www.google.com/search?q=clean+hot+sauce+stain&...
The fact that you've tried other things means it might not work, unfortunately. They might have caused it to set. So all I can say is good luck.
L.