Comfort/tips for Friend off to Really Rough Start Breastfeeding

I went through a similar thing and my daughter lost weight in the hospital. I had to cup feed her formula in the hospital. My daughter has latching on issue, so I used a nipple shield and it worked like a charm. I also took Fenugreek to help boost my milk supply. I ended up using the shield for 4 months, because it was really easy. I also visited the lactation clinic weekly for the 1st month and they would weigh my daughter before and after the feeding. She never really learned to latch on good, but after 4 months it didn't really matter anymore. By 4 months old, she was in the 99 percentile for weight and still is.

I went through something similar. I had a breast reduction 6 years ago. Because of that I didn't make enough milk for my little guy. I rented the pump, used the syringe and tubes, but it was exhausting. We were both in tears and my husband wasn't far behind. Feeding became a horrible time for both of us. I finally just switched to formula exclusively. My and my childs sanity was not worth the very little breastmilk he was getting. Be supportive, especially if she stops breastfeeding. Don't make her feel guilty, she'll have enough of that from herself already. Encourage her to do what is right for her and her child, whether its trying to still breastfeed and supplement or going over to formula only. Be there for her because it actually is very emotional. My son is 10 weeks and I still feel guilty about not being able to breastfeed.

Hi S.
I had almost the same exact thing happen with my son AND daughter. I had the hospital grade pump, supplements, etc. YOu name it I tried. The best way to supposrt your friend is to not make her feel like the only woman on earth who can't breastfeed "easily". I was never successful with either of my children and I took it hard. I pump my 8 ounces a day for 6 months with my son (that is all I could produce) and made it only 6 weeks with my daughter (I saw the lactation specialist every other day for those weeks. People still made me feel as if I didn't try enough. That somehow my kids weren't going to be as smart, healthy, etc.... Be supportive of whatever your friend decides. Encourage (gently) her to try just a few more days after she stops because you do feel guilty when you stop. Most of all, talk to her and ask her what she wants. A cheerleader to make her tough it out as long as possible (which she may become successful in a few weeks), someone who lets her know it's not the end of the world if she doesn't become successful, etc. ASk her and let her tell you what she needs. I re-read this and it's sort of confusing, just write me if you want more info.

Hi S.,

I'm sorry to hear what your friend is going through. I also had a very tough time breastfeeding my daughter in the beginning. She didn't latch and actually eat from the breast until she was 8 weeks old, and we didn't start breastfeeding exclusively until 12 weeks. I would highly recommend that she rent the hospital grade pump to get her milk supply up. My milk supply completely dried up and I was able to bring it in with the hospital pump. Also, she can try taking fenugreek or mother's milk tea to increase it. They also recommend kangaroo care and co-sleeping to bring the supply up.

I'm not sure what to tell you about not giving her bottles...my daughter only took bottles for the first 8 weeks and then transitioned fine to the breast. The SNS (tube feeder thing) didn't work for us so we stuck with bottles. Also, I worked with a lactation consultant the whole time in the beginning, which helped, but it seemed like my daughter just latched when she was ready, no matter how many "techniques" we tried. I hated not being able to breastfeed my daughter in the beginning, but when I gave her bottles and watched her weight climb and saw that she was full and happy it made it easier. Tell her not to give up though, because it's very easy to do when it is such tough going in the beginning. It will be worth it in the end. I also have 3 friends who had similar experiences with not being able to breastfeed in the beginning. They gave their children bottles and then were able to get them to latch later, so don't let anyone tell her that it's not possible!!

But also, if she does decide to stop trying and go the formula route, she should not feel guilty about it! I used to cry all the time because I wanted so badly to stop trying because it was so hard, but felt so guilty about stopping. It is a very emotional experience on top of already feeling so emotional in the first months anyway. Either way her baby will be healthy and happy, so she has to do what feels right to her and not doubt her decision! Finding a support group or someone else who has gone through it to talk to could help her if she makes that decision!

A couple of good websites are www.kellymom.com and www.drjacknewman.com

Good luck to her!!

Hi there,

I really don't know what to suggest. Have you or your friend tried getting in touch with someone from La Leche League? Here is their website: www.llli.org

Sounds to me like she needs to be sucking from the breast, not a tube to learn how to do it. But I am by no means an expert.

I'm still breastfeeding our 9-month old even though we had a lot of problems at the beginning. Please tell your friend to hang in there. I know it can be SO frustrating and upsetting. Good for her for trying so hard when it would have been so much easier to give up at this point. :)

Good luck!

H.

I went through a very similar situation with my first. What helped immensly was the day that my doctor said, "You know- if you never get the hang of breastfeeding, she'll still be okay. There's nothing wrong with formula." This took the pressure off of me in a major way. I continued to pump and try her at the breast, as well as working with a lactation consultant. None of the tricks she gave me seemed to work. Then one night while I was warming up her formula at 3 in the morning, she got impatient and went for the breast like a champ. She never had a problem after that.

I had a preemie due to my water breaking. I was induced w/ pitocin & my body didn't seem to catch on that it was time to make milk & since my son was little (5lbs) and he needed to learn how to suck - he got tired of sucking quickly and fall asleep exhausted once he had swallowed just enough to qwell his hunger. SO, I had to pump & pump & pump & pump. My boobs were lazy, apparently & I could never pump very much at a time. Meanwhile my girlfriends were tossing out excess milk and had HUGE babies. I got very little help from Kaiser - but an advice nurse that hosted a Mommy & Me supportr class @ Kaiser clued me in on some old midwife cures. So,a call to La Leche League may help. Also - there are diet items that boost milk production. Most of them can be found in any hippie dippie health food store, but not GNC.

"Mother's Milk Tea" by Traditional Medicinals
FENUGREEK capsules - make you smell a little like maple syrup - but this stuff REALLY helped me !
Also:
Apricots
brown rice
sweet potatoes
& 4 oz. sip of wheat beer will really help her "let down" and boost her flow. It's not enough alcohol to hurt anything but some people are funny about it. My son ended up being able to get off the supplemental formula because of the diet changes - but it was a constant struggle and if I didn't HATE the smell of formula & what it did to his BM's I would have given up. I made it to 10 months - until I went back to work & he got front teeth & started biting me.
your friend is not a bad mom if she decides to give up - however - I reccommend going for 2 months - that's how long it took for my son & I to learn how to work together.
Best Wishes!
A.

"Mothers Milk Tea" from Traditional Medicinals

First of all, this baby needs to eat and gain weight. If she needs to pump and combine it with formula, just encourage her to do it.

My son just didn't like to nurse and some babies don't- so I pumped and froze the milk ahead and combined it with a little formula at first and then gradually went to all formula about 9 months and then to milk in a cup around a year.

The La Leche League and the lactation specialist tried to make me feel guilty because he just wouldn't latch on to my breast. It was as if I was not trying. All I knew was that I had a hungry baby who would eat fabulously from a bottle whether it was filled with breast milk or formula. He started gaining weight beautifully.

His sucking reflex was just fine, he just didn't like to nurse. It is that plain and simple and it could be for your friend too. If the baby can suck from a bottle, THERE IS NO PROBLEM WITH THE BABY'S SUCKING REFLEX.

Please don't let anyone make her feel guilty for using bottles. If the baby is getting breast milk in any way, it is just fine.

Blessings,
+B+

I had a little trouble with my son initially, for the first two weeks he did not get enough to eat. After that we rented a pump from the hospital and I pumped in between feedings. I also drank a ton of Mother's Milk Tea. It took me a good two weeks to build it up enough to nurse him exclusively and fill him up. I felt a little defeated at first. One of my biggest mental challenges is that I did not feel my DH was on the same page with me. He was easy to encourage me to give up and just do formula, but there was no way I would even consider that and would have appreciated the support for what I really was trying so hard to do.

Make sure she is part of a LLL (http://www.llli.org/), also a wonderful resource in the middle of the night or any time is http://www.kellymom.com/. Have her search for a local breastfeeding support group in her area. Also, I noticed you are in Alameda. I am not sure if your friend is in Alameda County as well, but there is a great MOMs forum there and a majority of the Moms there have newborns. I am sure that would be a wonderful local resource for her. Here is the website http://www.alamedacountymom.com. It is free to join.

I wish her all the luck!

T.
Founder
www.theaparentpack.org

I had problems breastfeeding with my daughter. She was 3 1/2 weeks early, so it took her a little longer to get the hang of it, as well as my milk came in very slowly. I fed her, pumped, and then fed her the milk i had just pumped with a bottle. Talk about exhausting- I did this every 2 1/2 hours around the clock! She had lost weight after coming home, so the pediatrician said i needed to supplement with formula if this did not work. I worked with a LC from the hospital (she was amazing and so supportive)who recommended fenugreek. After about 3 weeks of this, my milk supply was better, and my daughter had gained weight and was nursing like a champ. What also helped me was support from my husband and my mother-in-law who was visiting. They took the baby so i could get some rest, which is very important when nursing, especially at the beginning. I know it is not a lot different from the other advice, but i just wanted to say I've been there. I was very close to switching to formula, and if I would have had to keep doign three steps for every feeding, i probably would have. The best thing you can do is support whatever decision she makes without judgement. Not everyone can nurse, and that is fine!

If your friend is still having a lot of trouble breastfeeding I would switch exclusively to bottles. My nephew had to use the tube attached to my sister's finger, and eventually he got the hang of sucking, but my sister's milk supply was diminshed. She switched to formula and both her and the baby were/are fine. Her husband was happy he could join in the feedings. I would just be there for her, and tell her that her baby will learn to suck and even if she can't breastfeed, doing what's best for the baby is what is important. Good luck

I too had trouble breastfeeding after c-section. The key is support!!! Tell your friend it will get better, be there with her and tell her what a wonderful thing she is doing. She needs to pump to increase her supply and nurse as much as possible until her daughter learns to latch properly. She should keep working with the lactation consultant as well. I used a tube that we taped to my nipple so we could supplement while nursing. I only had to use it for a week or so till my daughter finally got the hang of things. Breastfeeding is difficult for some of us, but with great support is doable and so worth it for our children. You are a great friend to support her!

Wow, what a nice friend you are to seek help and support for her. Problems with breastfeeding are so hard to handle for a new mom, trust me, I know! I had major difficulties with my first child, and moderate difficulties with my second. If she is intent on breastfeeding, the key is to not give up. Frustration, depression and general agony forces many women to give up. It's hard to deal with it all both physically and emotionally. Seeing a GOOD lactation consultant (I highly recommend Janaki Costello in Albany) is key, and it would benefit her to go to a breastfeeding support group (Alta Bates has a wonderful one) so that she can see that she is not alone. It's very isolating to find that the most natural thing in the world is not very natural to you. She probably feels defective and like she cannot take care of her baby in the most basic way. It's completely defeating. This is why it's very important for her to get the support and assistance that can help her through this most difficult time. If she's persistent she can most likely still build her supply up - but she doesn't want to delay, as the longer it takes, the less likely her chances are. With my first child I was able to build up to about 70%, but I still had to supplement. It was depressing at times, but mostly I felt like I did a good job at providing for my baby. The second time I got up to 100% and it felt awesome. Knowing both sides of that spectrum, I can honestly say that when it comes down to it, it's about providing for and taking care of your baby. If that means supplementation - or strictly bottle feeding - then so be it. As long as the baby is healthy and happy, that's all that matters.

Sounds like you are a great support to your friend. Just keep reminding her what a good mom she is. She's trying to do what is best for her baby. A good friend of mine had trouble breastfeeding her second after having an easy time with her first. She's not a bad mom for struggling, she just needs to teach her baby to nurse, which may take time.

See if her hospital has a new mom's support group or a Lacation Consultant she can see.

Good luck to her.

T.

I had a rough start with breastfeeding 4 years ago. All my doctors (Kaiser) and lactation consultants told me to stop breastfeeding, that my son was probably just a "bottle baby". I kept trying and after about a month or two ( I just remember it was a long time), he learned how to nurse. I am so glad I stuck with it. I would have missed so much. Tell her to keep trying, most babies will eventually learn, but not to feel guilty if she quits...

As someone who wanted to breast feed and couldn't .. the best advice I can give is DO NOT MAKE HER FEEL GUILTY. Or(as I had two different La Leche League consultants do) accuse her of "abusing" her child by not making the "right" decision to nurse.

While it's "supposed" to be the most "natural" thing in the world to breast feed ...it isn't always. And stressing out is just not worth it. Fed is Fed.

There are millions of bottle fed babies in this country every year, and there are millions of adults who were bottle fed who are perfectly healthy AND have wonderful relationships with their mother's. Despite the "lack of bonding" bottle feeding supposedly brings.

I had two boys and two unplanned c-sections. It was overwhelming with my first boy to breastfeed just because he was a grazer and it was painful the first 3 months. He breastfed every hour to hour an a half. But he didn't have trouble latching on. And the more he breastfed the more I produced. But I also tried to pump the chance I got to store milk in the freezer. Different story with the second boy. He could not really latch on very well. And, he and I got very frustrated. So, I took matters into my own hands (after trying about 1 week). I just started pumping, bottle feeding and storing in the freezer. I pumped every two hours for about 20 minutes each breast. And it worked for us. My cousin had trouble with her little girl. Her doctor recommended she use a nipple ring and she had just ok results. Hope this helps.

Hi,
I had a lot of problems getting my baby to nurse as well. He was a preemie and was fed by bottle in teh NICU for the first 3 weeks of his life so he got very use to the bottle. One of the nurses recommended that I try a nipple shield because it is shaped like a bottle nipple but goes right over the breast so the baby is breastfeeding. This worked for a little while but do to other circumstances I had to stop altogether. Also, I have worked in post-partum before for 5 years and if she is putting the supplementation device on her finger she really should be putting it on her breast and than latching the baby on, this way the milk is immediately available and the baby is more likely to latch on and stay on. Hope this helps your friend.
Jenn

I did "triple feeds" (nursing, pumping, supplementing with pumped milk) for about 8 weeks with my daughter. She was pre-term and had horrible latch and suck issues. It is draining and completely exhausting. You end up having no time for anything other than nusring and pumping, but IT'S WORTH IT!!! I am still happily nursing her at almost 10 months and I would do it all again to have the months and months of happy breastfeeding we have had. Tell her it gets better, that baby will learn to suck effectively, that she is doing the best thing for her child.

She should definitely use the hospital grade pump - essential for protecting her supply.

She needs a lot of support. Anything you can do - take her food, frozen meals for dinners, clean her house, walk her dog, offer to run to the store for anything she might need, etc. It's hard to get out of the house when you're attached to a pump, so simple stuff like buying more pads was hard. I had a really wonderful friend who ran to the store for me a few times a week to get whatever I needed. If it was inexpensive, she wouldn't even let me pay for it.

She should be working with a good LC. And she should treat her body gently - it's working hard. She needs to eat well, drink enough water, and rest as much as she can.

You're a wonderful friend for being so considerate.

I went through the exact same thing - feeding tubes and all. My advice is to see as many lactation consultants as she can, look into Network Chiropractic for the baby (a lactation consultant recommended it to me and it was invaluable!), get a great book with a chapter on the importance of breastfeeding and read it whenever she's completely at her wits end, get as much support as possible - especially (if money permits) from a post partum doula who can help her learn to relax while trying to nurse, try new nursing positions, etc., and give her lots of support (hugs, dishes, laundry, food, etc.) - pumping, feeding, worrying takes a LOT of effort - she'll need tons of support from her family and friends. In the end, let her know that she only has to try her personal best and that hopefully she'll succeed, but if it comes time to quit trying she'll know that she did her best. My ordeal lasted 8 weeks, but then my little guy nursed for the next 2+ years and self-weaned happily. I'm happy to talk offline if your friend wants.

I had similar experience with my now 4 week old daughter. She had a reverse suck motion so we had to do the breastfeed, pump, finger feed routine as well.

Tell your fiend to keep doing the whole routine and to relax. The baby will get it and when she does it will be amazing. My husband and I were euphoricc when it finally happened after many nights of 2 hour feedings with the 3 of us strggling.

Your friend should also let the baby practice sucking on her pinky with nail down. During the feeding if she gets confused remind her how to suck with just the pinky. theey can also put the tube next to her nipple to help transition the feding.

Hope all goes well.

I had a terrible time breastfeeding my first child after my Caeserean. Same story as your friend. I tried everything to increase supply, from natural supplements (fenugreek) to prescription Reglan and pumping every 2 hours. I remember crying in the middle of the night, so exhausted and feeling like a failure. My sister came to visit when my daughter was 10 weeks and told me to just stop. I had done everything I could and I was so miserable. I was working with a lactation consultant who was great but they don't ever tell you to stop nursing. So my advice to your friend would be to take it one day at a time. If doing the pumping and everything else is okay, then keep at it. If it's too much, its okay to stop. I had to take my daughter to occupational therapy just so she could learn to suck from a bottle. They thought it was something about her jaw that made everything so difficult. She is now a very happy and healthy 7 year old. I had a second child and breastfeeding was a snap. I finally understood why everyone said it was so great.
So just continue being a supportive, kind friend to her!

Sara,
Bless you for being such a supportive friend!
I had a really hard time nursing and only lasted 2 months. During pregnancy I was so excited about breast feeding. I took classes and did lots of research. I was totally ready, but when I ended up with a c section things got complicated. I had a plethora of problems that I won't go into fully, but it seemed I was destined to go with the bottle. I felt so guilty when I finally switched, but looking back it was the right decision for everyone. I am still pro-breastfeeding and will try again with #2, but I'm at peace with the decision I made.
The single most helpful/supportive advice I got from someone was,"Your mental health is far more important than weather you chose to breast or bottle feed."
So my advice it to keep encouraging her, maybe offer her rides to visit the lactation consultant, but don't put too much pressure on her. She obviously is still trying to breastfeed so she knows how good it is for the baby. However, being bottle fed is still being fed - an that is the most important part.

Oh...I feel so sorry for your friend.
It's a long story, but I was very ill during my pregnancy with my son and his birth was torture. He was my second baby and he just could not get the hang of nursing. I felt so anxious and defeated. The thing is....stick with it. He ended up nursing for over a year! He only quit because I had to have another operation and there was no choice. He hated it, and so did I, but he survived it. I am no expert, but I do have two children. If your friend truly wants to nurse, she should just keep trying. I feel bad for her because at this point, the baby may sense that she is nervous or unsure (who wouldn't be?) and it's just not been an enjoyable experience for both of them. Even if it turns out she can't nurse, it doesn't make her a bad mommy. I have known women that were just too creeped out by the whole idea and never even tried. Just reassure her. Her baby is so brand new there is still a chance she can get in the swing of things. And I bet she will. I think the breast/bottle thing might be confusing too. Once they get used to one thing that they are comfortable with and believe their food supply comes from, it's tough to turn back. My daughter was tiny, still is at 22 years old, but I tried to supplement with formula at 4 months and she never looked back. I think she should offer her breast 24/7 so her baby can learn to look for it for comfort. And....added plus.....FOOD!

Send my blessings, okay?

I had terrible problems breast feeding my twin babies. They were premature, in the hospital and really didn't even drink from a bottle very well. Anyway, it was discouraging... I pumped and gave them bottles and just kept trying a few times a day to get them latched on. I gave up after several weeks, but kept pumping a few times a day. I also gave them formula which they seemed to be fine with. One day (after about 6 weeks) I just decided to see if they'd latch on and they did! It seems crazy, but for whatever reason they just weren't ready. They had pacifiers from the beginning from the NICU and also bottles and now it's great because I can nurse them, give them bottles and pacifiers. I know people get anxious about nipple confusion, but they just didn't have it. I think they just needed time to get stronger... If your friend really wants to keep trying tell her to relax a little and take it day by day. I feel for her! Thank goodness she has a supportive friend!

HI, It just takes lots of time. It's very frusterating but happens to a lot of women. It's worth it in the end. I had a simialar situation. I felt like my son was not getting anything from me from the start. At the hospital I asked to give him formula and they gave me a tube type thing that goes on the nipple so when the baby sucks it gets both. Its a great way to suplement but it's hard and takes time. Hopefull it won't go on for too long!!! I tried to stay away from a bottle as long as I could. Tell your friend to just try and breast feed as long as she can and any little bit of breast milk the baby gets is better than non. I was lucky and was able to last a year although it was very hard. I did end up giving my son formula supplement around three months because I did not have enough milk to pump. It ended up working out fine and was actually easer for me in the long run because he was happy with both the bottle and the breast. The most important thing is for her not to feel guilty if it doesn't work out the way she had hoped. I know lots of moms that could not breast feed for one reason or another and there children are fine. Although I would sudgest to keep trying as long as she can, but do whats best for her and don't let people presure her. Hope some of this helps. Best of luck to your friend!!!

Hi S.,

I have had problems with breastfeeding with all three of my kids! First of all it's very frustrating as a first time mom to want to breast feed only and it not be successful. I was very frustrated. Keep working with the lactation consultant they have ideas that we dont know (oviously)about. Definetly rent a hospital grade breast pump that is very helpful! There are medications that you can take I took reglan which did help and there are herbs you can take like blessed thisle and fenugrek. All of those are very helpful. DONT GIVE UP!! Try the syringe so there is no nipple confusion. It's so hard to do all these things and not get frustrated. Take it from me I have been through it. I was very upset that something that was supposed to be very natural didnt happen for me. I hope those things work for you! If you still have problems talk to the lactaion consultant they there for you and you are more than welcome to email me. My husband called me the breastfeeding queen because of the duration of time I spent with it. I very determined but there did come a time that I had to come to terms with it and accept what I could and couldnt do. I went through it 3x!! I have three wonderful healthy boys and I was grateful for that bonding time. The number one thing you can do is be there for your friend. Let her know that there are many women that go through this. It was very comforting to know that I wasnt the only one. Let me know if you need anything!
S. T

A friend of mine had c-section and she had difficulty breast feeding also. My friend tried breast feeding but wasn't able to. Its a beautiful thing to do. Most people try to breast feed the same day of birth. It takes time for the milk to come in. It takes 3 days, first few days is a clear liquid. Babies need an extra boost to learn to find the nipple and latch on. It may tickle but its worth it. As for C-Section babies it might be different. The baby will be confused over the nipple and the bottle. Good luck to your friend.

I had trouble breastfeeding my first 3 children - finally got it right with number 4.... I expect she is also having all kinds of emotional fallout as well. I remember sitting on the floor of the bathroom crying. I highly recommend she continue to see the lactation consultant - her insurance may even help pay, and/or go to La Leche League meetings. She needs to be feeding on demand - which might be every hour and pumping after to make her supply increase, she can rent a pump - would go with hospital grade ... though tell her the pump is helping even if she isn't getting tons of milk (I never got much when I pumped but my children nursed fine after the original problems). All that said, I know women who were unable to produce enough milk, if it is too stressful you can support her need to use formula and make sure she knows she is not a "terrible mother" because she can't nurse . I remember feeling like a complete failure. If she would like to connect with someone she can email me at ____@____.com.
A.

I too had problems breatfeeding with my two. With my first, my milk never did come in. With my second, I had tons of milk and she had an underdeveloped palate and could not suck properly. I went through many trials with her because she could not suck properly and was not thriving. Just as they were about to hopitalize her, she figured out how to get the milk down(with the finger training method). Feeding was an all day ordeal. She did have some feeding issues as she got older but, she outgrew it all. The biggest advice I can give your friend is to relax and do what ever is best for the baby. While I do think breast feeding is best, it is not always possible. I felt lots of guilt for not being able to. I pumped with my second and got her all the milk I could. I saw lactation consultants and doctors of which some helped. The end result? I have two very healthy, happy children and all that worry was for something that did not affect them in the long run. Just let your friend know that you are there to support her however she decides to continue.

First off, remind your friend that it won't make her a bad mom if the baby is on a bottle. Breast feeding is the best but sometimes it just doesn't work. Reassure her that everything will work out. Right now she is feeling a lot of pressure and she needs to know that you are there to help and support her. Have her keep in contact with the lactaion consultant and the pediatrician. I would have her pump like they suggested. I think the most important thing your friend can do is to relax. When stressed, her body feels it and so does the baby. Believe it or not once the baby learns that sucking motion everything should fall into place. Good luck.
Shelley

My daughter refused to breastfeed for the first 4 months of her life. I pumped around the clock and tried several times a day to get her to latch on - but had no luck. I pretty much gave up trying to nurse at 3 months and was resigned to pump when, at four months, she latched on one day and is still nursing (she's now 14 months). She's now such an avid nurser I wonder how I'll ever wean her! My advice: keep trying! I did see a lactation specialist and had brief periods of luck using a nipple shield, but really, my baby latched on when she was ready. It may be the case for your friend too.

Hi Sara,
I really understand what your friend is going thru. First of all she is amazing to continue to pursue the breastfeeding with all the difficulty right off. My son had a difficult time learing to suck. I rented the hospital pump and did use the small tube that connects to the finger for the first 4-5 weeks as he and I were both learning how to breastfeed. The finger tube is much similar sucking with the nipple compared to using a bottle. My husband would feed with the tube on his finger (usually the middle finger) and then I would pump at the same time. It was really hard but so worth it. By the 5th week he was completely off the finger tube and was doing great! Even though you haven't gone thru the same struggle encouraging her that she can do it will help. Please let me know if you have any other questions and please let your friend know she can contact me anytime.

I am a Lactation Consultant and would like to pass on the info for two very good Lactation Consultants in your area. This is the best thing you can do for her besides supporting her, listening to her - letting her vent and helping her with simple things like cooking, laundry, grocery shopping...

LAURA MONIN,CLE,IBCLC
MORAGA, CA 94556
###-###-####

SYLVIA BOYD,IBCLC
HAYWARD, CA 94544
###-###-####

Interestingly enough - I see babies with suck issues and moms with supply issues all the time. Here are our 3 Rules:

Rule #1: FEED the Baby
Rule #2: Protect the milk supply
Rule #3: Take care of mom.

A baby with suck issues needs to be able to feed as simply as possible and to have safe feedings. Someone needs to be able to figure out why the baby is not sucking correctly - not all LC's are able to do that - the two listed above can. Then a plan needs to be developed to help baby learn how to suck properly without making mom nuts in the process. :) I've been through this personally (it's why I am an LC) so I understand the emotional and physical toll it can take on mom. This is where friends can come in very handy to help with the daily chores to take stress off mom.

Feeding with a tube on the finger can also lead to nipple confusion which many people don't realize. Anything that is not the breast can lead to nipple confusion. But we can fix that - so my parents who need to supplement often will supplement by bottle (Dr Brown or BreastFlow) while working on breastfeeding. The key here tho is to figure out exactly what needs to be done to help baby suckle correctly and effectively.

If you like, you can give your friend my number ###-###-#### - you can check out my website www.breastfeedingnetwork.net it tells about me and why I am an LC. I am thrilled that you and your daughter found breastfeeding to be so wonderfully easy! I LOVE hearing that - since I normally only see moms who are struggling it is a joy to know that there are still those who find breastfeeding to be easy - the way it is supposed to be. :) Thank you for that!

I wish your friend much luck and I Hope she contacts one of the two LC's above - they really can help her...

Warmly,

J. Simpson, IBCLC, CIIM
Breastfeeding Network

Tell your friend to look into lactation support group. She should be able to find them either through a local hospital, through a LC or through first 5 of california (that's how I found mine). It can be a big help to attend these meetings with other moms that are having similar issues (I was having latch on problems.) and many of them are free.

First of all let me say how lucky your friend is to have a caring and supportive friend to help her through this difficult period.

I could relate to most of what she's going through. My DD did not latch well at first and lost almost 1 lb in the first 2 days home. We supplimented with formula too but not enough obviously. Luckily, I have Kaiser in SF and they have a great lactation dept. I visited them regularly and followed their advice but still needed to pump alot during the first 6 weeks. Finally at about 2 months something just clicked and now it's been 10 months of breastfeeding bliss (LOL).

My point is, tell your friend not to give up! It will get better!

My son is 2 1/2 months old and he had a really hard time latching on because he was in NICU and the nurses gave him bottles. I was determined to breastfeed and one of the nurses gave me something called a nipple sheild. I bought a few more at Babies R Us. I think they sell them at Target too. They are by Medela and they are in the breastfeeding section for about $6. They are just a thin silicone nipple you put over yours. It made it really easy for Landon to latch on and I have used them every time. I also find that if I don't eat very much, my milk supply goes down, so I'm trying to eat more often and I drink a TON of juice. That has helped a lot. If none of that works, there is a medicine called Domperidone that will increase your milk supply. I hope this helps! Have a good day and good luck to you and your friend!