Compassionate Child

My son used to get a little upset over that sort of thing too. We have always watched a lot of documentaries like you are talking about watching. As he matured my son seemed to understand it all a little better. If your son doesn't already watch, he'd probably love the PBS show Wild Kratts (it comes on weekdays at 8 and 5 here, not sure about NJ). It's a terrific show about animals. It starts and ends with live action and real animals, but the story is a cartoon. And they explain things like spiders eating insects or vultures eating animal carcasses, but they don't show it. And it's always handled in a kid friendly way. It may help him understand it all better and be less upset by the idea.

I think it's a good thing.
My son (almost 9 now) has always been "on the sensitive side" and I think it's GREAT for a child to feel compassion! This same kid is the O. who told me he wants to donate money from his savings to "find a cure for autism" and "a cure for cancer". He has also told me, within the last week that what he's like most for Christmas is that "no kids are hungry and everyone gets something from Santa"!
He also refuses to eat crabmeat since he got a pet hermit crab. :)

Please resist the social pressure to "toughen up" boys! So wrong in so many ways......

Tailor what he watches to more age appropriate things--after all, even the "wonder of the oceans" can be scary when there are predators, sharks, etc. involved. It's easy,as an adult, to see that as the simple factual cycle of life, but from a kid's perspective--it CAN be scary!

He will start to understand more as he gets older. It's just nature that animals will eat other animals (and insects). I agree with S.B. about the Kratt brother's show. They are really good about teaching the kids about the animals and their habits. My daughter was the same way, I just watch them with her so I can explain it.

It's a natural phase. My five year old is like this and has been since about age 3. Now she sometimes doesn't mind seeing an animal killed on a nature show, but sometimes she still cries. She used to always cry really hard. She's very sensitive about things. It's a good healthy sign I think!

**Actually my almost 4 year old son is extremely sensitive too, not so much about animals, but in other ways. I think sympathy and empathy show up big time at age 3.

Oh, yeah. In fact, last night someone had a post here asking about which movies might be good for a three year old and I had to smile... my response was so *tame*. My little guy really dislikes upsets. He didn't want to watch Mary Poppins after the crazy admiral neighbor fired his cannon at the Banks' house. "Turn it off, Mama!" Mr. MacGregor, chasing Peter Rabbit through the garden. "Mama, that man is too mad. Turn it off!"

Our plum tree, we've discovered, has a fungus and is slowly dying... every other day he tells me how sad he is that it is dying and that he's going to miss it. It was like that when I had to remove a butterfly bush at the end of summer, too. He doesn't seem to mind some things-- like footage of a cheetah taking down a gazelle-- but other things, like dinosaurs dying in Fantasia... wow. It's pretty upsetting for him.

He has a lot of questions about death too, but that's a whole other topic....

Perhaps too early for some to be up reading and posting, pay no mind.

My daughter has learned to deal with her sensitive phase pretty good. She used to build up a teary eye when she asked where my grandparents and dad are and I would explain they died. Now when I have to explain someone is dead she fills in the blank.

You likely have a serious animal lover on your hands and hopefully he will appreciate nature for what it is. Maybe in a year you can find some great library books that explain the different types of animals and insects and their diets.

*****

Basspro had some great nature gifts around the Holidays.

My twins are the same way, but to the extent where they became vegetarians in first grade. My daughter cried so much about her fish who died the other day. She had named her fish Emily and I saw a paper attached to her wall yesterday that said... Emily You Rocked, Emily I Will Miss You Sooooo Much! I can only imagine how difficult it is going to be for her when our dog passes away. (Our dog is 14 yrs. old)

They understand the food chain now and accept it at the age of almost 10 yrs. old. But when they were your son's age, they really got upset that an owl would just swoop down grab a mouse and eat it. They would say.... "That's so MEAN mommy, why can't the owl just eat some berries or leaves and let that mouse live." So we didn't watch too much tv where animals preyed on other animals. They will focus on that in grade school anyway. Even cartoons and movies upset them. I remember while watching Stuart Little 2 (the cartoon one) where the cat did mean things and was jealous of Stuart. Well.... that just upset my little guy (3 at the time) so much.

The same thing happened to us! We were watching some show on oceans w/killer whales and they were gliding along underwater, peacefully and serenely. And then they showed the whales sneak up on sunbathing sea lions and all of a sudden start attacking and eating them. Sometimes the whales would even toss the sea lions around before killing them, poor little things. It was pretty gross and I wrote the channel asking them to put a warning sign up for scenes like that in case little kids were watching. They wrote me back apologizing but said they put a warning in the beginning of the show, not during. I guess I missed that.

My kid wouldn't watch anything on animals for the longest time and now he wants to be a marine biologist to save all the sea lions. So it really affected him. He's 6 now and I think he was about 4 or 5 when he finally understood what other animals eat.

My granddaughter is like that too. She's an animal lover and hates to see anything get hurt or abandoned. She is also 3. I even have pictures of her picketing the circus to Save the Elephants from being chained and beaten, sigh.

He will eventually get it. The circle of life is a hard concept for kids to get at that age, although I did the same as you... I explained and changed the channel when it was upsetting. It seems like most of the National Geographic type shows we watched showed the attack but not the whole scene of the animal being eaten.

We always watched these kinds of shows with our kids, and now at 6 and almost 8, they love animals and have great respect for nature's balance. And they "get" that there's a food chain and all animals have to eat.

Your son might also get sensitive about other things like the pumpkins being thrown out at Halloween or the Christmas tree thrown on the curb. My son also used to get upset when he saw tree trimmers cutting branches and throwing them in the chipper. I just explained things to him in age appropriate language and comforted hi when he was sad about it. I suspect your little guy is a sensitive flower like mine. And the other side of him is all boy. I think it's a nice balance :)

My son was like that when he was that age. He also could not watch Bambi or Nemo or countless other movies bc he would break down sobbing at the sad part. He is 7.5 now and he is still like this - not with nature documentaries but with most movies. He is very emotional when there is any kind of drama or sad part of a movie and most of the time he will refuse to watch a movie bc he does not want to be sad/scared. We found out that the best movies for him are the ones with little drama. When he was younger he liked Cars and Surfs Up (no bad guys). He loved and still loves Planet Earth videos. He loves documentaries on things like the Blue Angels and WWII aircraft. He's just a sensitive guy and in his case it was not a phase. I think over time he will slowly be able to watch more and more movies though...I see it happening as he gets older.

Some kids are more sensitive than others. When my oldest was around that age, she used to cry over trees being cut down. There was a big project to widen the highway near us and she really thought it was sad that the trees were being killed. She is still pretty sensitive, but doesn't cry over the trees anymore. I consider her sensitivity/compassion to be some of her best traits though. I'm sure your son will get less upset as he gets older, but will probably be a very compassionate person.

Each child/person is going to react to things differently. Shoot I am 62 years old and I absolutely REFUSE to watch a nature show where animals are being killed or abused in any way!! I hate the fact that Whales are hunted...but how does it help them for me to WATCH it happening??? I would try and shield her from the most violent and upsetting things...that is your job as a parent. Help her to deal with her feelings when the scenes do upset her..."Yes sweetheart it is so sad to see that happen isn't it?" "I am sorry that you are feeling sad".
Just know that this is a phase that she may either grow out of or adjust to so that she KNOWS what she is comfortable watching and will willingly not watch the upsetting things...just like I DO!!!

It's a phase. He'll understand better when he's older. =)