Concflicted over Breastfeeding

I agree with everyone who says that you should decide what is best for you. But I also understand that at 6 weeks you are confused about what is "best"...lack of sleep, conflicting advice, etc.

I BF my daughter full time while I was home from work and then BF before and after work and at night. She had formula for other "meals". I managed to BF her until she was one this way...with more and more formula to supplement my supply. But I saw it kind of like a multivitamin I could give her, as well as comfort and bonding.

Good luck!

It is your decision, but let me tell you (and you might know this) it only gets easier. At 6 weeks they are still feeding alot and having alot of the gas issues. Their digestive system is not fully mature. As another working mom, it was totally worth it to me to continue. When I started back to work at 10 weeks, I would pump 3x a day and nurse when I was home and it worked out wonderfully. They are required by law to give you time to pump. You may be surprised at how people are willing to help if you give them the opportunity. I work at a school and there really isn't any place to pump, but I convinced my boss to let me use a storage room and I just put up a sign on the door saying not to enter when I was pumping. Even if you can only pump 2x a day, that will give your daughter more of your milk and keep up your supply enough to hopefully continue nursing when you are home. I know it was always wonderfully relaxing to me to be able to come home and nurse my son first thing...the hormones helped to relax me.

And while it is true that the first milk is the most important, breastmilk will continue to provide your child better nutrition and all your antibodies for as long as you nurse her. If you choose to give some formula or need to because you can't pump enough, that's very understandable, but I would encourage you to continue if you can. I know it feels like you are cemented to the couch now, but the first weeks are the hardest and it will only get easier. Good luck with your decision!

A.,
It's a VERY personal choice and an important one. Having said that, remember that it there is help available in the form of emotional support and physical support if you choose to continue with any breastfeeding.
I was in a situation with my daughter where I was a single mom with no one in my family (living) having ever breastfed and everyone thinking I was crazy! I worked 60+ hours each week in a small mall kiosk where I had to beg for breaks-- even to go to the bathroom and for a quick lunch... but I fought for my rights and I am GLAD that I did!
Okay, now that I have put myself up on the golden pedestal, here is what actually WORKED for me!

I joined La Leche League for emotional support and to have moms around me who could actually watch me nurse and let me know what I was doing wrong and right with latch, etc.

I kept water with me EVERYWHERE! And snacks in my purse, car, and the case of my pump so that I could always be nourished when I needed to be.

I pumped in my car with an electric Medela Pump-in-style that plugged into my cigarette lighter. I had a million icepacks to keep the milk cold, and sometimes was able to use a small refrigerator in the breakroom if I put the milk bottles in an insulated cooler/lunchbox where no one could see and complain.

I did nurse on demand when I was home, but also used a sling that I purchased from La Leche League (they are available online too from several companies) and was able, with much practice, to nurse while standing, playing with my nephew (whom I babysat sometimes) and doing all sorts of chores (never while cooking though- felt it was too dangerous.)

As far as additional pumping, I pumped as much as I could before I returned to work after my daughter was born and stored it in the freezer, and at home I alternated between a manual Avent pump (which was more comfortable for me) and the Medela (which was faster and hands-free.) Most often I would try to pump the other side while the baby nursed... seemed to get better "let down" that way.

Reason why I'm glad? I didn't get to see my baby often when she was tiny and it did facilitate a special bond with us. Also, she never was sick or had any allergies until she weaned (she self-weaned at 3.5 yrs) and now she has MANY allergies.

Research formulas if that is the way you decide to go, and do talk to other moms and your pediatrician about the best way to transition from breast to bottle/formula... you don't want to upset her tummy anymore if she is already having some gas probs, etc.

Good luck!
-Amanda

Your choice on breast or bottle.

But if you live in IL (I'm not sure if our messages are sorted anymore), your employer is REQUIRED BY LAW IN THE STATE OF ILLINOIS to provide a clean, secure place to pump and time to pump during the workday. Time used for pumping is NOT to be added on to your workday (i.e. if you pump 1 hour a day you don't have to work an extra hour).

There are some great studies out there regarding the health benefits of breast feeding, but I feel the bottom line is that you need to do what feels right for you and your entire family. If you are getting frustrated by nursing your baby, your baby will sense that and then you are not doing yourself or your child any favors by continuing. If you would like to continue nursing, and turn it back into a positive experience than maybe you can,if possible, set aside some time in the morning or at night just for you and the baby to continue nursing.
Whatever you decide do not feel guilty. Formulas have come a long way and will provide your child with all of the nutrition she needs. Love, hugs, kisses, story time, and attention are still the very best things you can give your daughter.

A.:

Give yourself a break. I have 3 very healthy little kids, not one of whom breastfed for more than 6 weeks. As it turns out, they all were allergic to the milk so they were fussy, fitful and unsatisfied. For the first two I blamed myself and thought it was because I was not committeed enough, but when we discovered the real culprit (with my 3rd child, who exhibited much more extreme symptoms of the kind of "colic" the first two had--and that you seems to be desrcibing her having), it all made sense. Any chance she is "fussy" for the same reason? Why would you feed your baby something that makes her sick?

I encourage you to consider what is best for all your family--you, your 4-year-old, your partner (who might appreciate the opportunity to play a larger role in taking care of your new baby and bonding with her individually through bottle feeding), and the baby. The "breat is best" people don;t know everything.

Hey, I wasn;t breast fed (the same as almost no one in my generation) and I don;t think I'm worse off for it. And I think my kids are okay too. My 1st grader now kicks my rear at Connect 4--he is clearly not mentally impaired.

Trust, me, use your judgment. It will be okay.

T.

Busy mom of 3 who didn;t breastfeed that much and does not feel guilty about it

A.,

Just to throw my .02 in. I'm a FT working Mom and I BF at first, and then switched to pumping and bottle feeding the expressed milk until about 8 months and had to stop due to lack of supply - and we were going out of town and that stinkin' pump was NOT going to Las Vegas with me! I felt horrible when I weaned Jacob off, but as soon as he started getting formula, he started sleeping through the night.

You have to do what YOU feel is best. There may be guilt on your part (I felt horrible stopping) but in the end if you trust your gut, then do what's best for you. I think BF is the way to go, IF it works out for everyone involved. If we have a second child, I will BF and drag that pump around again as it's important to me and my family to BF. That's not the case with my closest friend. She's a SAHM but BF was not working for her. They decided as a family that the stress and worrying it brought was not worth it. They went to formula and are much happier. Again, it's what works for YOUR family.

Good luck!

I agree with the first mother. Your daughter got the most important part of the milk, that first strean when she was first born to prevent illness and other things. Good start by nesle is a good alternative. They also have one that has the DHA and ARA, don't quote me. that is found in breast milk. Also you have to worry about if you are getting the proper nutrition. If you are not, then maybe formula is better for your baby. You know that if you don't have time to eat your 8 servings of fruits and veggies, your baby will not suffer because of it. I hope this helps. Good luck

You need to do what you feel is best. You did the best thing by breastfeeding her when she was first born, that is when she gets all the needed anti-bodies from you. If you feel comfortable with only bottle feeding her, that that is what you should do. She will get everything she needs by drinking formula. Each parent has different ideas on breastfeeding and bottle feeding. There are no rights or wrongs.

I nursed my daughter and I was fortunate enough to stay at home with her. It was very hard for me to pump. I eventually just had her bottle fed when I was not around, and I would breast feed her when we were together. She did not seem to care and she there were no side effects. (weight gain/ loss, not wanting the bottle or breast, etc)

I can't tell you what I would do, honestly, I don't know what I would do. I would probably tell myself that I would pump at work, then eventually just say the heck with it. You just need to feel comfortable with your decision.

I just returned to work after a 6 month break (4 months of bed rest and two months after my daughter was born) and I tried breastfeeding but it hurt too much so I pumped instead and I loved it. When I went back at work, I pumped twice a day. My milk started drying up and I panicked. My babysitter told me not to worry, that I wasn't a bad mom if I didn't breastfeed exclusively, that my daughter will continue to grow and thrive if I fed her formula exclusively. I think it's harder weaning myself than weaning her : )

Your four year old needs you too. I was told to let it go and focus on loving my child and as long as she is thriving and being loved, I can be free from guilt. Good luck.

S. S.

It's very hard at first. I just wasn't into that "great" breastfeeding either, but compared to my other options, it worked out best. After being only breastfed until solids...I stopped nursing my son(in the morning at that point) at 17 months. He LOVED the breast, and I came to really enjoy it myself. It's magic. Maybe it just takes time for you to enjoy it? Maybe you should continue supplementing if it's getting hard, though. Good luck!

A.,
Do what you need to without guilt, but here's a thought... why does it have to be all-or-nothing? Can't you drop your BFing down to 2-3 x/day (mornings, evenings, and maybe once during the night) and then use formula for the rest of the day? That would be a nice comprimise that would free you from pumping at work.

Another thought... you won't really be able to pay more attention to your 4-year old when you're feeind your daughter by bottle either - either way, your hands are tied up while you feed her.

Finally, just thought I'd share - the New York Times recently published an article about pumping milk at work - I found it fascinating. Here's the link:
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/09/01/health/01nurse.html?ex=...

Good luck with whatever you decide,
K.

Do what you feel is right and don't sweat it! The first weeks are the most important... I too had to return to work and couldn't keep up years ago. If you can keep going do so if you can pump great... When you are done you did your best and you should be veyr proud of yourself for what you did and tried. There are WAY worse things then needing to give your baby formula!!

My advice to you is to do what will make you the happiest. You don't have to breastfeed. The fact that your daughter has been breastfeeding for 6 weeks with no problems on your end or hers is phenomenal! But if switching to a bottle will make you more available to your four-year old, cause less of an issue with returning to work, and your daughter takes a bottle well, then switch to the bottle.

People had pressured me to continue breastfeeding, but when it comes down to it, you know your life best and you need to do what makes life better for all of you. A happy mom makes for a happy house!

Like you, I felt very frustrated when I breastfed my baby and I didn't even have another child to look after! After much deliberation and months of frustration, I decided to stop and I am very glad I did. I felt very guilty even though I had breastfed for four months, but in the long run it helped me to be a better mother. Hope this helps!

You are right, breast milk is best for your baby. Do whatever you can to do it as long as possible for your child. Any amount and length of time you can is great! Just remember that it is your right to provide milk to your baby and it is for a limited amount of time in the span of your lifetime. It seems like forever when you are in the middle of it but it is worth it!

A.:
it might help to talk to a lactation consultant about your problem and possible solutions. It sounds as if she may not be feeding well or you rwould not be sore and you would not be feeding for such long time periods. Possibly "fixing" the feedings would make it more enjoyable for both of you.
That said, it is notblack and white or all or nothing there are ways to combine breastfeeding and formula feeding.
It is about finding what works best for all of you.

P., RLC, IBCLC
Pres. Lactation Support Group, Inc
800 LACTATE
www.lactationsupportgroup.com

Although "breast is best", you are also a mother of 2 and not 1. We all need to make decisions that are right for all members of our family. In my opinion it is more important for you to be happy, not exhausted and available to both of your children. I used to be a general pediatrician and dealt with this issue all the time. Choose what is best for you and your family and let the guilt go. Breastfeeding is obviously important, but so are the million other things we all do for our children.