Confused Mom Expecting Twins

M.,
You are in shock right now and with your husband out of work it is overwhelming. Take some deep breaths and relax, things will work out. If this pregnancy is meant to be than it is meant to be and so what if you are having twins. I am not judging you, trust me, I have been in your shoes. I was pregnant with twins only I lost one early and ended up having a beautiful baby boy who was my 4th child, 3rd son. Then guess what, I got another surprise 2 years later, I now have a girl and 4 boys and their are 16 years between my oldest and youngest. Children a truly miracles no matter whether they are planned or unplanned. Of all 5 of my children only 1 was planned and that is my 2nd one, the rest well let's just say they were total shockers and we love them all the same. I won't deny things were tight here when I was pregnant with the last 2 kids and we only had one income, but we managed and so will you. Remember the tide may be rough right now but it will get better.
Hugs,
T.

M., I didn't want children. I married a guy who was supposed to be sterile, according to the doctors. Two years married and nothing happened, so I decided it was time to get on with my life that I wouldn't be having children.

We bought a house. A SMALL house. Three months later, we discovered I was pregnant. So much for that plan.

After my daughter was born we had a VERY hard time with adjusting, and she was colic. We loved her but kinda thought maybe we shouldn't have done this. As she grew older, tho, something magical happened and we started to absolutely fall head over heels in love with her. By the time she was 15 months old we wanted another and by the time she was 2.5 years, we had our second, the boy I wanted. My husband was done, he didn't want anymore.

Three years later I gave birth to our third, another boy. I knew I wanted him, it was a surprise to my husband (LOL). ~No, I didn't trick him, it just happened unplanned.~

Financially we have our troubles. We cannot afford the extras. We are still in the SMALL house, now with 3 kids. I'm a stay at home mom, only our husband's income is our only source of income.

Ask us if we'd do it again.

Yes.

I cannot imagine my life without these children, and neither can my husband. He didn't want 3 kids, but you should see the relationship between him and the baby...that baby's face lights up into pure joy when Daddy comes home, and my husband is wrapped around his little finger.

It did work out. I am grateful for each one of them.

I hope my story helped you. The lesson of the story is: don't rush yourself. Give yourself time and relax. Things have a funny way of working out.

I wish you the best. I would love to know how it all works out for you. ~M.

O.k. first, I am pro-choice and I would never judge someone in your position. Second, I think this is to much information for you to decide on right now. Just think about it for a few weeks. This isn't a decision you should make lightly. I know women who have choosen to terminate the pregnancy and regretted it every day since. My sister in law still remembers her due date and it's been more then 10 yrs since. So, if that is your choice think long and hard about it. Either way this decision will change your life. I am not a religious person, but the higher powers that be never give us more then we can handle. So, maybe this was meant to be. Things will work themselves out, just give yourself some time for this to settle before you decide either way. I do think you should talk about this with your husband though. This is really more then one person should handle alone. He should be part of the decision making.

M.-
i gave birth to twins when my oldest was 14 months old! i won't kid you and say it was easy, but my oldest is now 4 and the twins are almost 3 and i have survived so far. it will be very very hard but you can do it. good luck!

Hi M.,

First of all I want to say I am so sorry you are in so much distress right now. The only advice I can give to you having never been in your exact position, is to give yourself a few days to digest all of the information that has come to you before you make any decisions. This decision can only be made by you and your husband and no one here. Whatever decision you make will be what is right for YOU and your family. My last pregnancy was not planned and I remember feeling the same way at first (not twins though) and after a few days I was thrilled. I cried and cried for days because I did not plan on another child. I was a single mother for a while with my first child (through a bitter divorce) and was not sure when I remarried if I wanted more children. I ended up having a beautiful daughter who is now 20 and I thank god for her every day. My situation was not like yours so if this is not something you cannot handle right now emotionally, financially, or for your health, then I am not her to judge you as no one should. I know this is a tough decision, but let your husband be your support right now. Be there for each other and I am sure the right decision will come to you. Good luck in what ever you decide.

and once you accept this you won't be able to imagine life without them. Bless you and know you won't be alone in your struggles.

Your reaction is totally normal for some moms. I would feel the same way. It is early. You have 7-8 months to figure things out.
Keep your eyes open and you will see the way.
Good Luck!

Have some some faith in yourself! We are handed situations in life because a higher power knows we can handle them! Even though at times it seems unbearable just step back and take a look at yourself and know that you are a strong woman! In my opinion, any woman that can go through pregnancy, deliver a baby and raise them is an amazing woman. It's certainly not easy but you can do it...Just need a little faith!

Hi M.,
I am pro-choice also but I agree with most of the other Moms, I think you're in shock right now and need to let it sink in until you make any drastic decisions. Talk to your husband and be VERY open and honest about what you're feeling. It's wonderful that he's happy and supportive, that's a great start.

All I can say is to give it a few weeks and some deep thought, but make a decision that is right for YOU. Mothers always pay the dearest price for making these kinds of decisions, nobody else will even remotely feel what you're feeling.

Good luck to you!! I hope everything turns out wonderful for you.
Lynsey

Ok..take a deep breath. I have four children, 14, twins 8 and girl 5. You can do this. Having twins is such a blessing. First thing you need to do is contact your local mothers of twins group...just google it. I found out I was having twins at 20 weeks!! Crazy...I too thought I cannot do this but I did and then went on to have another. It is just amazing watching the twins interact with one another. It will be somewhat costly but there are srvcs to help you...WIC...medicaid etc. You can do this and the only thing that will help you is that you have to do this :)
Remember to rest as much as possible....
Once you have the twins keep them on the same schedule at ALL times...If one wakes up for a feeding...wake the other...You can save a little money breastfeeding and putting them in the same crib (mine were in the same crib for 9 months). M....I know you can do this...it truly is a blessing and things will work out....

Hi M.,
Be happy, that's what God plant for you! Life always gives us some challenges so we can handle them. Have have faith and happy that your husband is supporting you.
C.

I am with your husband. Right now it is a shock. However,
when you see those two little babies all of your fears
will disappear. Somehow things work out. Good luck.

my dear, the universe has blessed you with something totally unexpected. cry all you need because this is indeed a shock! then sorround yourself with positive people, embrace a community of faith, and just trust that somehow, someway, somewhere within the economy of God's grace, your family will be fine. this is indeed a total shock, but rest assured that everything will work out.

I think you have a little bit of time to "sleep" on it. I know people who have been in similar situations and sometimes they choose to not have the baby and they get pregnant within three months again. Sometimes they don't. The decision is really up to you and you MUST feel you can live with the choice you make, either way. Do not let others sway your choice and make sure you honor yourself.

Being a twin myself and my mother having been a single parent raising us with no job half the time i can tell you God provides. He may not give you what you need until the moment you desperatly need it but you will recieve it. I know myself I always tell my husband i only want two children and he wants three but i tell him we'll plan for two and if we have three so be it. It always seems overwhelming at first but there will come a point in your life where you can sit back and said i made the right decision maybe two years from now when God willing your husband has found a job and your kids are all healthy playing together. In life nothing major is our choice we do not choose if we get sick we do not choose when we die but it is part of our lessons in life thats what its all about and these two babies are part of your lesson in life there part of your joy as well. I know you will be ok you will get through this and you will be blessed!
From H.

The good thing is that you have time to get used to this. You won't end up having the babies for another 8-9 months, so in that time, I'm sure you will figure something out. I am a mom of twin boys and I gotta admit, they are a lot of work - but once you get into a routine, things will be fine. You also need to take whatever help that people offer you- cause that is the key to your own sanity.
Good luck! :)

The greatest support, your husband is happy about it.Concerning pregnancy issues your gyn will have to advise.
I think twins are wonderful.Good diet,rest & some exercise.

Good luck.

M.,
Your husband is right. Everything will be better than ok, it will be awesome. Don't even go there in your mind. Everything happens for a reason even if that reason isn't clear to you now. Trust in His plan, especially when you can't trust in your own!
Hang in there and laugh! Its kind of funny!!
Good luck and be happy!!
M. from Pittsford
PS I have a 9.5 month old boy and you are welcome to ALL of his hand me downs.. including: crib, swing, pack n play, car seat system with stroller, exosaucers (2), jolly jumper, high chair, nip nap, bumble seat, gates (nice ones too) all his clothes, baby toys, you name it its yours.. NO JOKE!! contact me for more information
____@____.com
-see, this isn't so hard!

I think your honesty is refreshing, and you found out news that can be overwhelming and need time to process it. My brother and SIL have 3 month old twins and were worrying how they were going to do it, they do great, I'm sure you will as well!
What we think we want is sometimes not what we really want, I never knew that I wanted a son with Down syndrome until I gave birth and found out he did, I wouldn't change anything about him- challenges and all!
Congratulations to you and we're always here if you need to vent

No judgement here except what you are feeling is pretty normal. I had three kids and learned I was pregnant by surprise with my fourth child and was not happy. My husband even stated "what are we going to do with it". I was shocked, had every issue in the world with my past three pregnancies and was just not happy. My friend also had the same experience with an unexpected fourth but unlike me never accepted the pregnancy. She was in denial right up until the birth. I am happy to report that we could not imagine our lives with out these little surprises in them. I wish you the best. You will get through it but you need to find an ob/gyn or other professional whom you can talk to.

My husband also lost his job twice in our parenting career and though not a good thing, It has made us stronger. Please investigate any insurance benefits and other programs through the state you may be eligible for.

Hi M.,
I can relate to your situation...I already had a little boy when I found out I was pregnant with twins. Yes, the news can be very overwhelming at first, but please give it some time and let yourself & your family get used to the idea. Having twins is such a unique and awesome experience...it's been amazing watching my boy/girl twins grow up together (they're now 5). When they were very young, they used to have their own "language" that only they knew...and we would watch as they would "talk" and laugh together...such precious memories. I hope you too can experience some of the incredible joy having twins can bring to your life. You can definitely do this...you're not alone...and there are lots of "moms groups for twins" out there that are so supportive and know just what you're going through. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

Hi M.,
I sympathize with you but please whatever you do don't terminate the pregnancy. There are so many great families out there who can't have children, if you feel you really can't take care of two financially or emotionally there are other options. Please look into all your options before you do something drastic. I have a dear friend who has been married for 20 yrs to her high school sweetheart she is now 37 yrs old. They have tried for years and are unable to have a baby. They finally went to china and adopted an older four year old and they would love love love to have a newborn. There ars so many people like my dear friend that would do anything to have what you have. God be with you and bless you and your family.

Dear Monica - I had fraternal twin girls and they are now 35 years old. Motherhood is for a lifetime. Just think you may have a boy and girl or two girls and/or boys. It is a blessing and just think that some women who want children try all methods by going to infertility clinics, etc. to be able to have them. I did something as a young woman for which I am sorry and I did not get the proper guidance. I, too, felt after having the twins that I could not go through it again, especially when they were 11. There were issues with having to work for the second income, baby sitting, etc. was a challenge but as I got into the Bible I realized that the moment you kow that it is a life that you carry you cannot do away with it. Later on in life you will look back and realize that you have done well in keeping them. We always feel that we cannot afford them, or find someone to help, but if you ask you will be given what you need. If it is baby sitting you can ask family and/or friends. If it is financial you find things that can help. I even saw a place where they give $300 to just be in the background of a movie. I am sure you will do well. You have the boy which is important to carry the name and the boys attach more to the mothers and the girls well, they are daddy's girls. Enjoy them and pray for a safe delivery since you said you had issues with your first child. Stay healthy and eat nutritious foods. Drink milk for your bones and theirs, iron to help you and practically everything that you can think of because they get nourishment from you.

All the best, and if you only want 2, I will be willing to take one of your twins (of course I am just making light of the situation). I am sure you have heard the addage, when God closes a door, He opens a window.

Just take care of yourself and be as healthy as you can be.

Love - S. K.

M.,
Can you get a second opinion? Try that and then after the wave of emotions has run it's course, sit down and list realistically the expenses, the commitments, etc. Let some time go by before making any decisions. I know this may not be what you were looking for in terms of advice however I promise you with time comes clarity.

Hi M.:

I have worn your same shoes. Had 2 beautiful children, 8yo boy and 2.5yo girl- stopped using the pill because of issues I had. Let's just say hubby was reluctant to do anything medical as a result we became pregnant just as my husbands business was spiraling downward and on the verge of closing.
Because of previous complications, I had an early ultra sound and was told we were having twins. I thought my world was crumbling before me-- I was working but had a new boss who was not very 'understanding' of working moms. I was so scared that I didn't tell my husband for 4 days.Thankfully for you, your husband is already on board.
To add to the drama, I was 39+ yrs and was declared 'ADVANCED MEDICAL AGE' and went for genetic counceling & testing. Long story short, it was the easiest pregnancy for me, I delivered via scheduled c-section a beautiful boy and girl at 38wks and 1 day-with no nicu time.
It took my husband and I time to work out our issues, and life is not perfect as I recently was let go from the job I mentioned. BUT, I could not imagine my life without these wonderful childdren.

It will take time to grasp the situation, but with the support that you have from your husband you will mke the right decision for your life.

Best to you-M. K

M.,

Trust. Trust that the same thing will happen for your twins and your family that happened for your first baby. Trust that you will get through each day as it comes, and remember to shower eat and sleep. Start getting extra sleep now (if you're a partier :) or a movie watcher like my DH).

Trust that the outcome will be what is meant to be. Trust your husband, trust yourself. Trust your baby boy to be a great older brother.

Trust that you can bring these babies into the world and you can nurture them into adulthood, just NOT ALL AT ONE TIME! :)

You can do it. Congratulations. You are where I wish I could be. DH was flattened by the stats that at my advanced age I could wind up with twins. Now we may have no more children at all, because CHANCE might play a part.

Relax, unwind, calmly gestate and prepare your house a little bit every day. Get used to keeping the TV off altogether. Read a few books on how to get an older sibling in line with becoming a brother - not just to twins! Get him as hands-on as possible - even his tiny little bit of help will matter. practice making time for him too.

I don't know if you work, but if you can afford it - don't.

Lots more advice, lots of best wishes and congratulations and even a few tears for you girl - you have DOUBLE the blessings on the way.

Good luck!
M.

I had 2 children and was expecting my 3rd which turned out to be my 3rd and 4th. I cried all the way home from the dr office and for the next 2 days. It's just a shock because you've already figured out how to accommodate another child but to hear that now you have to figure out how to add 2 more it just overwhelming. IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU A BAD PERSON FOR BEING UPSET!!

When my twins were born my oldest was 5 1/2 yrs old, daughter #2 was 3 1/2 yrs old so I was up all day with the older girls and up all night with the twins. It was awfully hard but we all made it to now. Of course now means I have 3 in college at the same time and car insurance with that many teen drivers is nuts but I've never regretted having 4 kids when I really only wanted 3.

So take a deep breath and give it a little while before you make a decission based in fear. Base it on what's best for yourself and your family.

It is a shock to hear "twins" when you go for your ultrasound. Just try to relax, take a moment to absorb it all. You are still very early and hormones are flying. Give it a few weeks or months to get used to the idea. Try to stay upbeat, a lot can happen it 9 months. Your husband can find a great job and you will be amazed at how much you can handle when you have to. And keep in mind that there are options like adoption if you really feel overwhelmed. Best of luck! Have a good cry & then go play with your son.

I never realized they can tell it's twins at 6 weeks let alone that you're pregnant. Your heart will lead you to see the future in hold for you just try to look at the long picture not just the immediate future. Just remember if you ask 10 people you will get 10 different answers and the only important choice is that of you and your husband.

Hi M.,

Your concerns are certainly valid and in this economy absolutely no one can judge you for your thought process. This is a difficult time for everyone and it is really hard to see any light at the end of the tunnel. I won't advise you on what you should or should not do as that is your decision. However, the one thing I do want to suggest is that you look back on all the things that you may have deemed as challenging in the past and see how successful you were at conquering those things.

You are a lot stronger, more resilient and more resourceful than you might think and all you need to do is look and see how you've overcome every single fear and challenge that life presented. In addition, you have a wonderful gift in a husband that is supportive and that encouragement will go a long way in helping you to get through this difficult time. Take a deep breath, pray and then make your decision. I will pray for you too. May you and your family continue to be blessed.

All the Best,
M.

Dearest M.,

Something similar happened to me,

I was a single mom for 6 years before I married my husband.

after 2 years I became pregnant, I was scared but excited.

I was nursing, and my baby was 6 months old.
I found out I was pregnant again. Another boy.

HOLY COW.

But I gutted thru my fears.

And it worked itself out,

I was set with clothes and everything already LOL
and they always have eachother to play with.

They hug eachother, kiss eachother, read to each other.
take care of eachother. Its so sweet to see them talking and playing. riding bikes, and this september they'll be going to preschool together.

So it works itsself out.

I worried about having 2 in diapers, and it actually was no big deal.

Due to an allergy my baby needed to use cloth diapers, and it was the best thing i ever did because i saved so much money, and never ran out of diapers.

I worried about so many things, but to be honest.
It seems like every child you have was always there. they fit right in, I mean I can't remeber a time without them.

time flies. it really does, and before you know it, they are adults, making their own choices.

My oldest is 13, and there is 9 years diffrence between them, the other 2 are 3 and 4 years old.

It was like starting all over again.

But it was just starting a new chapter.
Every child brings there own luck.

If it were me I would keep your babies. Its the perfect time.
your little one is nearly 2 and will be potty trained by the time the new babies come, and in preschool.

And everyone knows they sleep for the first 3 months.
they'll be so little. and your baby will be able to help you,get diapers, wipes, bottles, everything.

PLUS he can help you feed them.

entertain them. etc.

My 3 and 4 year olds are very independent.
can nearly read, know their numbers, are both fully potty trained. can dress themselves( I lay out the outfit), Brush their own teeth with reminders, put on thier own shoes
( yes they are slip ons or velcro), feed themselves, can get their own snacks ( I try and put them on a lower shelf where they can be easily reached, and put away)

They love school, and my 3 year old was litterally crying to go to school with his brother.

They can clean up their own messes with a little nudge, and wash their own hands, and put dishes in the sink, collect dirty laundry ( which with 2 of them actually makes a vast improvement LOL)they carry the tub down together.

I have a front loader, and they can move wet clothes to the dryer and LIKE IT, I reward them with M and M's

they feed their dog. I have to give her water.

You would be very surprised at the diffrence between 3 year olds and 2 year olds.

And with twins, it will be a breeze. trust me.
Just decide if you will nurse, or bottle feed.

I would say nurse in the beginning,atleast for the collostrum. thats most important.

http://www.theslingstation.com/twin-babywearing.html

http://www.gdiapers.com/
these are awsome I used these with my boys, using the cloth insert.

Little bit of advice, If you are a member of a local church group Ask for help.

They will usually volunteer thier time to come over and help you a few times per week.

Even if one feeds a baby and the other helps clean up,
it can make a huge difference.

Don't be afraid to ask for help.

Ask you Moms group or play group for meals ,they will be happy to help out.

It really isn't this disaster you think it is in your mind, thats the hormones talking. I know I absolutely HATED my husband when i was pregnant and nursing LOL , I didn't even like him until I stopped LOL.

I hope this helps you in some way.

whatever you decide. I hope its what you really wanted

M

Yep, when you get pregnant for the second time, you expect to have your second child, not your second and third child! My daughter was 2.8 years old when her brother and sister were born. We had a mountain of debt from a business my husband started - in a different state because we wanted to move - and then in this economy we couldn't sell our house. We needed a car that could transport all three kids and couldn't afford that, so my inlaws are now graciously paying our car loan...

I know what you are feeling...I have been there...But for me, personally, there was no question about having the babies, but certainly the fear and wondering, "Why us? Why now?"

Take it one day at a time. Instead of thinking about the long pregnancy with all its possible complications, think about getting through this day - resting, eating and taking care of yourself and your child and future children. I agree with the a previous post that said babies don't need that much, only marketing makes us feel that way. You have stuff from your first child...you'll need a second crib and high chair eventually, but not right away. You'll need a second car seat and maybe a second Pack-n-Play bassinet right away. You prioritize AND you don't feel bad not giving them all the stuff that other babies get (or even your firstborn had). They don't know. They just want your love.

Whether it makes sense now or not, you have been chosen for this. Though I cannot say it is easy, it is an special joy and priviledge to raise twins. My little ones turned 16 months old today! I can't imagine my life without them! Please feel free to send me a message if I can help you in any other way. I am praying for you and wishing you the best.

Dear M.,

You are in shock and that is very reasonable. Life works in mysterious ways and can present a lot of challenges. Ending pregnancies take a short amount of time, but the effects can last a lifetime. I don't know any woman who is not wistful twenty years later and wonders about what might have been. So that is a very personal choice and thank goodness that in this country we still have the right to choose.

Since you have a few more weeks to decide, why not just really meditate. It seems that you are just fearful of the cost and work. What do you really value? Will these twins be in the way of that? Or will they just fit in with what you value most in life? They might turn out to be really good babies that make your life amazing. Churches, neighbors, community services can help you keep it together with clothing donations and diapers. Babies really don't need much, marketing just makes it seem that way.

All my best,
Ana M.

Give yourself some time to adjust to the idea. I wasn't expecting my 3rd, but after a few weeks of thinking it through it was a very exciting time for us and her brothers. There are also a lot of people who would be happy to adopt.

Give yourself time to get use to it. When you find you are pregnant and were not hoping for that it is a big enough shock. Find out its twins and it puts you through the roof. Talk with your husband and it sounds like he is excited about it. Believe me what we think we want and what we can handle and (find is great) are 2 seperate things. I always only wanted 2 children. TONIGHT I will be induced to deliver baby #3 and I can't believe how much she IS wanted. I will have 3 girls and am so thankful for each one. Children are miracles so please let yourself get use to it. Get counseling if you find you need it to "talk out" your fears and upsets. That is always a big help too! Congratulations. A.

I found out last Oct that I was pregnant with twins. I was not thrilled about this discovery! I already had 2 boys,42 yrs old, not planning on more children and terrified to have twins for many other reasons; One of them financial. Because I am a catholic, I would not have considered terminiation but the prospect of having 2 more was not what I wanted. My husband was supportive and happy with the idea even though he didn't want more children either. Now our baby boy twins are 12 wks old and such a joy! I regret having any negative feelings and barely remember those feelings now anyway! Just looking into their little faces every day is rewarding. It's tougher for sure, but it's such a short time that it's tough, it passes quickly. Don't focus on the negative and ask for lots of help. Take the help whenever anyone offers!! Remember that you created these 2 little miracles and you will love them and forget the not so good time of pregnancy, labor & maybe the 1st year (cause that's the hardest)! Good luck!

it's going to be hard.. but try talking to your husband.. let him hold you and hug you... Their are places out there that can help you. Places where you can get food, and diapers. Ask you local church for info... places can help you with clothes you will need too. If your any bit religous .. put it all in God's hands..
1. Help your hubby find a job.. any kind of job that has insurance and can support all of you.. if not the job he wants.. then maybe a place like home depot or something.
2. figure out what you want to do about the pregnancy and real soon.. before you can't change things.. but once you make up your mind.. make sure you can live with the decision.. it's a big decision.
3. if you go with the pregnancy.. than just go with it.. and try to be happy.. talk to counselors if need be.. people will help you thru it all.. and hold your husbands hand.. and good luck..
if you need someone to talk to ... email me anytime.. ____@____.com I am a mom of 2 children that I adopted because I couldn't have children.. but I am understanding of all types of families...

The thought of having twins can be overwhelming. I was expecting twins in 2006 but lost one of them within the first month of pregnancy. My daughter is three now and I could not imagine two of her..lol. God love her!

With the events that happened in my life during the pregnancy, I understand now why I lost the other child. I would not have been able to raise twins or carry them. God knew this.

I believe things happen for a reason. You have a loving husband who is there for you and the children. You are not doing this alone...like I had to. Find your strength.

Nanc

Sweetie, I'm so sorry for your troubles. I am 41 and 6 months pregnant with my third, totally unplanned. Remember that your hormones are all out of whack and that affects your mood. Plus, an unplanned baby is a lot to deal with even in the best of circumstances. I'm glad your husband is supportive and happy about your babies. Three kids seems so intimidating, I know, but sometimes life throws you some crazy curveballs that seem like too much to handle but can end up being wonderful. There will be times where you think you just can't do it and you want to run. It's totally normal. The key is to ask for help and take it when offered. It's also OK to consider not having them. Just make sure you and your husband are on the same page about this as it is about as important as things get. Good luck. Feel better.

Dear M., I can surely understand how you must feel. Your husband is right, everything will be all right. You will have the strength and some day realize the blessing of your family. Over the years I have learned one very important thing, "we don't make the plans" I had 3 in 2 1/2 years, unplanned. I was young, husband did not have a good job but everything did work out OK. Try to focus on the fact the so many couples cannot have children and here you can. Please have some faith and trust in the Lord. You have my prayers....Grandma Mary