Cons to Homeschool- Experienced Moms & Dads, Please!

We homeschool and love it. In my opinion, there are not really what I would say cons, but more of things to be aware of.

1. You must be organized.
2. You must have a plan and stick to it.
3. You have to decide what curriculum works best for you and your children. This can take some trial and error.
4. It's best if you know what learning style works best for your child. With that being said, though, it is also good to take them out of their learning style at times, as well.
5. There are many different aspects/beliefs/choices to homeschooling- traditional homeschooling, co-op homeschooling, non-school homeschooling, etc...
It's best to decide your philosophy and stick to it. You will hear many different opinions both from homeschooler and non-homeschoolers.
It's best to know that you know that you know, what you believe in, what works best for you, and go for it 100%.
Just my two cents,
R.

funny how many folks disregarded the request for experienced homeschoolers only, then went on to propagate the biggest goofy myth about homeschooling, the ubiquitous *socialization issue.*
no coinkydink, methinks!
as for cons....hm. let me think. there weren't many so it requires some headscratching.
you do a lot of driving. a LOT. i liked it because we had some our best discussions in the car, and i got way up to date on current music (instead of my beloved classic rock.) but it's time consuming and eats up gas.
it is messy, as many have pointed out. but cleaning up was also a 'homeschool activity' here.
we didn't find it expensive at all. but if you're creating your own curricula you've got to be creative and proactive about how you do it. of course, that's also a pro.
you need to remain prepared with handy and humorous responses for the folks you meet who will feel compelled to share their view of how badly you're mangling your children's psyches.
you need to keep track of what you do, even if you're a radical unschooler.
your kids will be perceived as weird. it's not *normal* to have happy kids (especially teenagers) who aren't horrid to their parents, who have opinions they can share in intelligent and articulate fashion, who are comfortable with all ages, and who are capable of self-entertaining and actually like academic pursuits.
you will occasionally want to drop-kick your kids to the next galaxy and have a few days just to focus on yourself. remember when this happens that a) you'd feel this way if they were in school too and b) those days are coming, and you'll spend them missing your kids.
:) khairete
S.

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I home school and LOVE it but of course there are cons. Here are the few I have found in the 3 years that we have been doing this.
1. People misunderstand home school and tend to make really negative comments in front of your children. If you don't have complete confidence in your choice it can rattle you when someone feels they have a right to tell you what is best for your child.
2. It takes up a lot of your time. If you do it right you are teaching or making lesson plans, getting materials etc. I find it hard to find times to run errands because my husband is away a lot so if I'm not schooling I'm trying to catch up on everything else.
3. Some states make it really hard to home school. Find out all the laws before you go that route. Though I have never had to deal with it I've heard the horror stories of people having to prove they were teaching their kids.
4. It's easy to get ripped off. Watch out for online scams there are a ton of them. Pay this ridiculous sum of money and we will provide everything you need to home school.
5. You need to be able to stick to a plan. If you planned to do a lesson and something comes up the something has to wait until the lesson is done.
This final one may have nothing to do with home schooling and more to do with my kids who have always been far too trusting. My kids don't see that other kids are just not nice. Before you assume they are not used to having kids around that couldn't be further from the truth. They do karate, gymnastics, dance, baseball, basketball, swim lessons and boy scouts and girl scouts. They are actively around children their age at least 4 times a week and they continue to think everyone is nice, even when the world shows them otherwise.
I wouldn't change my mind for anything and I love teaching my children. I really hope that you will have a wonderful home school experience also if that is what you choose. Good luck!

Cons of homeschooling:
it is messy. You will have kids everywhere with books, science experiments, art projects, puzzles, etc. You will see that schooling is not actually just from 9-2. It is happening at every waking hour.
It invoves relationships, and relationships are messy. You will be even more acutely aware of character issues, and you will be compelled to discipline and teach your children a proper way of dealing with sin issues.
This means that you will also painfully be working on your own character issues like patience and diligence. That is more painful and difficult than working on theirs.
You have to give up a lot of your selfish inclinations like lunch out with the ladies because your children need to be taught. Your life is given to them for their upbringing. This is counter-cultural, and people won't understand.
Your children won't be socialized in the current pop-culture. They will seem weird to most non-homeschoolers because they aren't rebellious, seem happy- even joyful, they love being with their siblings and parents, don't grunt when asked a question, things like that.
No, not all homeschoolers fall into these patterns, only those of us who homeschool with the purpose of bringing a godly heritage to our future generations. I'm sure you can tell that my response was somewhat tongue in cheek, but it really does require sacrifice. It really is messy. You really do have to commit to teaching every aspect of your children's education, including character, which brings out our own failings. But the rewards are priceless! We are on our 13th year. It grieves us to even think of sending them off to be splintered from each other all day! They are very close, yet also have other good friends. Enjoy the journey!

I have homeschooled my younger child for almost 4 years, and my older one for almost 1.5 years.

Several of the socialization comments on this thread (by people who do NOT homeschool but - despite your specific request to the contrary - felt compelled to chime in) are absurd and right up there with urban legend.

We were in school much longer than we have been homeschooling. In our experience, homeschoolers - hands down - are FAR better socialized. The only thing they have missed is negative socialization - cursing, bullying, and trying to "get over" on other kids to look cool. Gee what a loss. And it is so refreshing to meet a teen who can intelligently converse with an adult in a respectful, engaging manner.

That being said - homeschooling culture tends to be "local" (like schools used to be). If I were you I would go to several support groups in your area and get a feel for the people and the activities offered. You can also get more "scoop" on what people REALLY think about certain curriculum options. In my experience homeschool moms love to expound on that topic.

The hardest thing for us with regard to homeschooling is that - when Mom gets sick - there is a tremendous sense of pressure to keep going (at least that's the case for me). There are ways to counteract this, however. If your kids have some online curriculum options they can keep going on their own for a day or two.

The other difficulty that I have is that I truly do not have time to work (and I can work out of my home in my profession). I do still manage to squeak in projects but it is not easy.

Whatever you decide - good luck with your decision. It's not for everyone but we have absolutely loved it and we are so grateful that we took a chance on it.

Happy learning!

I read several posts and didn't see this mentioned nor do you specify so I figured I'd chime in (since my daughter is done for the day and my son is writing a report, neatly I hope).

A lot of the cons seem to pertain to almost any method of homeschooling.
1. It's hard
2. it's takes a lot more of your time and energy
3. it's messy, ect and so on

However there are other options that have most specific cons
1. if you traditionally homeschool, there are laws and notifications and different things you need to keep up on and make sure you follow. We do not traditionally homeschool so I can't tell you specifically what they are
2. It can be very expensive
3. depending on where you live it can be isolating. NOT that homeschooled children lack socialization, but certain areas have a much larger number of homeschoolers and more opportunities for interaction and fun.

Then you have e-school options
1. they claim to be flexible, and they are to a degree, but it's a lot more structured than they lead you to believe
2. you're tied into a specific curriculum, but it's free and you can supplement as you see fit
3. and all the same general concerns from everyone else still apply.

It certainly isn't all fun and games, and there are days I really wonder why I bother. But then we have good days like today, where we are done for the day and only schooled from 930-2 with an hour for lunch, my house is clean and tidy, chores are done and everyone is happy just laying around watching the rain. (not to mention the serious bragging rights when YOU and not some teacher taught your kiddo to read, my greatest accomplishment right there.)

I know you said you only want experienced homeschoolers but I have a couple of acquaintances who were homeschooled so I just wanted to say that if you decide to homeschool, make sure that your kids have a LOT of opportunities to socialize outside of your family because a lot of life learning happens in schools besides academics including how to function successfully in a big, diverse world full of various backgrounds, personalities, etc.

I home school both of my boys. Gosh, the disadvantages? Well it takes time, effort and commitment to do. I stay at home so I've got the time, I suppose if you didn't it could be tricky having time to prepare and teach.
Getting started can be a task of sorting through the different curriculum and just getting yourself and the kids acquainted to the homeschooling experience.
I remember being a bit overwhelmed in the beginning but I was so unaware of just how comfortable we all moved into it.
Sorry but can't think of anything else.
My children are gaining so much from this experience as am I.
What could be better than to have one on one teaching from a parent that has the best interest for you? Not much.
I found that most of the negative comments that are made about home schooling are from folks that have never done it.
Wish you the best,
C.

I have not homeschooled, but I have researched it and I have a friend who did it with her son. The biggest con was socialization / acceptance by peers and team activities - learnign to work with others. If you have a large home school community in your area then maybe you can arrange some sort of group activities where the kids need to work together, that would solve the problem.

Good luck!

I, too, have not (yet) homeschooled my children, but I have researched it extensively. Many responses to your question refer to a lack of socialization. In our area, there are homeschool groups that meet at the recreation centers offreing a wide range of options. These groups have athletics (for the p.e. requirement), study centers, tutoring and even their own social events...like dances, holiday parties and chess competitions. They are offered daily and are quite reasonably priced. What I love about this concept is that it gives children the oppurtunity to mingle with others who are being raised and educated with the same principles and values.

I don't have personal experience here with our girls, but my SIL did her 4 older ones. The one thing that she said really stood out was that the children only had social skills with each other. Another thing was that she wasn't able to 'teach' some of the things that needed taught in order to keep the oldest with his grade level. They tried homeschooling for 5 years and finally decided to enroll their children into public school this year. My SIL stated she felt horrible because her 2 older children actually tested a grade below where they should be. The younger 2 are ok this year so far. The final thing she frowned upon was all of the time in the day it took up. She has 5 children and the older 4 were all at different levels so she was teaching anywhere from 18-20 different lessons a day, which was, in turn, confusing even her. She had a lot of good things to say about it, but those are her cons that she really hit on. HTH

My parents pulled my brother and I out of public school, me after completing 5th grade, my brother 3rd grade. The biggest down side, my parents didn't have a clue how to do school work for 6th grade and up! My brother had no discipline or desire to learn, so he did nothing. I had the desire, but no outlet to learn, we living way out in the country, one car family and my Dad worked 2nd shift. It's very hard to self teach yourself, I finally got into a program our state has, GED on TV, and learned enough from it to get my GED. My brother, has excellent common sense and hands on experience, but still has no book smarts and is now at the age that he is too embarrassed to get help...

So, you really have to stay on your children to do their work, not let the slide by, and you really need to know what you are teaching them yourself!

I've currently started homeschooling my son in Kindergarten, and my husband and I plan to put him in a correspondence school online next year, hopefully to help us stay on schedule. The biggest gripe right now is family members on my husbands side of the family complaining that our son isn't getting ''socialized'', when they are never around him to see what he is like anyway! You can put our son in a room with other children in a large age range, our son will play with anyone, and he is one of the best behaved (even at church). Our son is also hungry to learn, which makes it easier to teach him.

Good luck to your family, I hope it works out well for you!

Thanks for posting this! My kids are still young (3 years and almost 1), but I've been thinking about homeschooling. I know someone who homeschools, and she has joined a homeschooling co-op (though I'm not sure of the details). I'll be checking back to see more answers!

Hi there!
I have been home schooling my older kid for 2 years already, and I am starting with the little one (Pre-school level).
I had the same questions you are having right now, and you will be answering those yourself, and learning more and more every day. I like to home school my kids, I enjoy it, and they do as well. To me it is not about pros and cons, it is mostly reality.
You have to be very organized to balance teaching, house (cooking, cleaning,etc), kids, husband and friends. Otherwise you will "suffer" with a messy house .However, that depends on what is important to you or not. Personally, I feel better if my house is clean and organized, but it is not always possible, so I learned to organize myself and let my kids and husband to help the way they can. In my experience this is the most important factor to deal with, organization to do everything and prepare the material I will cover with my kids every day. That takes time. For some moms it won't matter, for others will. Personally, I like the home schooling where I know what I am going to teach my kids every day and have some kind of schedule, but if it fails (illness, etc) it won't be the end of the world because it is HOME schooling and the kids are always learning something.
As I said, time is a factor too to consider, the "me" time is more reduced, but there are ways to have it back!
Home schooling is the best option I found for my kids. It is challenging and a lot of work, but it so rewarding seeing how the kids love learning and have fun and know so many things. I have learned many things too and refresh so many others.
I, also, was reluctant to home school because of the MYTH about socialization and socializing, but not anymore! There are plenty home schoolers out there and plenty of activities for them since sports to activities just to have fun. I have said this to many friends of mine; my kids have more friends, real friends and acquaintances now than ever before, including myself.
It is hard to think of any other method to educate my kids better. My 10 year-old boy says he doesn't want to come back to school, and that he loves getting up in the morning and have a relaxed breakfast with us as a family, and then to study in his cozy couch and round table.
Sorry, I cannot think of cons....

*****Things that came to my mind****
I am so sorry for those who had a bad experience with home schooling. I think that good or bad experiences come from:
1) The way you are teaching or home schooling (including sending your kids half day to a public or private school; keeping your kids "in the closet", or giving them enough exposure to the reality of the world...)
2) Curriculum chosen. Depend on the learning style of your kid (s) If you have more than one, it is very possible that they do learn differently and you may need different curricula) It is work when you are just starting, you have to know a lot about your kids and yourself.
3) I am not sure that home schooling is for all. But it worked for us. You have to try otherwise you will never know. People have different experiences and a lot of time has passed since parents or grandparents have been doing this, and things do change, resources change and support change.
4) Socialization and Socializing are possible without making your kids feel like "weirdos". My kids are very loved and appreciated by their friends (from public and private schools and home schooled children)
5)Yes....you and other moms are not teachers (who have a valuable and beautiful job, but not all of them have the vocation); however, you have the capacity to teach your own child, you know him/her better, you know what exactly knows and have difficulties with, you have in your own hands how to teach him/her how not to struggle but solve things, and how to deal with hard tasks, how to teach them the love for learning! (and more...) It is a one to one or one to four teaching, not one to 23 or 25.
6) School, activities are D. everywhere with home schooled kids (Xmas, Fall party, Halloween, spelling bees, b-day celebrations..etc...)
Everything is possible....

I homeschooled my son for 2 years, through k and first grade, and contrary to all the people who say it does not affect the child socially - well it affected mine quite badly, and now he is in school he is socially stunted.
the main reason for this though is we live way out in the country, so there is not the structure for going and doing stuff with other families - there are not many children living near me. if you live in a populated area, this will not be an issue for you.

I also didn't like the amount of "hats" I had to wear, I felt I could not enjoy my son because I was always having to make him do stuff that I wasn't qualified to do.
And also I have a toddler, and that made it almost impossible to concentrate on his schoolwork, she doesn't nap much - so where does she go for the minimum of 3 hours that h/s takes?, well, she gets into everything that she is not supposed to !

Your house is always a wreck - there are always people messing things up.
I am not very crafty, so that side of things really suffered with my son - and he still is not good at using scissors and things.

I thin it depends on the kids - the other kids in your family - and you.

Okay, so much has been said that I almost didn't comment.
I am working on my 5th year of homeschooling. I have 2 children, one in 4th, one in 7th. I started homeschooling my daughter in 3rd, my son in 1st.
I have a love-hate relationship with homeschooling. I love that I get to watch my kids learn, grow, blossom, and become extraordinary young people (versus children). I have close relationships with both of them, which is something I didn't have with my parents. As I teach them, I am finding out that I have a lot to learn (especially about history) that is fascinating and I am having fun with them as we do it. They are very smart, can play with kids of different ages, and interact with adults.
What I don't like has more to do with me. If you decide to homeschool, you must be disciplined and organized. It is best if you set up a schedule and stick to it. These are not strong points for me, so I am constantly trying to improve (not a bad thing).
Homeschooling will keep you very busy, but I still think it is the best thing I can do for my kids. I am the authority in their lives, not a stranger (to me and my ideals) who is with them for 8 hours/day. (In 1st grade, a teacher told my daughter that she wasn't spelling her middle name correctly. She argued with me, the one who wrote it on her birth certificate, about how it should be spelled because the GYM teacher put a different idea in her head!)
If you homeschool, it will become your life (for the most part) and so much of what you do becomes about it. There are meetings for parents, homeschool conferences (which I highly recommend), co-ops where you can teach (another time-consuming thing), gym-type activities/classes, and other extra-curricular classes. When you go to the store or cook from a recipe, you will find yourself doing math lessons with the kids. You might spend hours on the internet looking for books you want, as well as hours at the library for the same purpose (oh, how I love my library as never before!). Really, it is a job and a joy, but it does take over a bit.
Others have commented on the house becoming messy, but as your children get older, they can help out a lot with that (unless you are a perfectionist, because children usually are not when it comes to cleaning and that would cause a perfectionist to go nuts). Having children do chores teaches responsibility and that they are part of the team...not to be waited on.
Plus, they don't have hours of homework that eat up the little bit of time you do have with them (in 1st grade my daughter had about 2 hours of homework/night!).
Sorry, my list of cons became more about pros......
All in all, (just my opinion) I think homeschooling is the best thing you can do for your child to insure he/she will get a good education IF you are committed and willing to MAKE it work. I can't imagine leaving my kids to self-educate, but then where would the fun (between us) be in that?!
I hope this has helped.

Myself and my husband were both home schooled. He and his siblings are success stories, I and my brother failures. I think for me and my brother, we lacked the discipline to self study, to actually stay on task with out direct intervention. I also think it fails because my parents started me out late (junior high age). It failed for my brother because I would bug the ever living life out of him.

My husband's mother never used a curriculum and started early on, my husband started in second grade and his siblings, basically from birth.

A few draw backs I've seen, I really wouldn't call them draw backs. There's the social "difference". My husband and his siblings do well with adults and older peers, they seem and feel more mature then others their age. Not so sure that's a bad thing. They all seem very future focused and not so 'me' centered. Then again, not such a bad thing.

I hope this helps. Good luck.

I know of three large cons, and all of them can be overcome as long as you plan for them in advance.

All four of my nieces were homeschooled. They're smart, bright, happy kids. However, when their parents divorced when they were high school age, they were sent to public school - and to everyone's surprise, they found that they were all shockingly behind in math. Their mother had been an English major in college and all four girls were well-read, but although they had done well on their home-schooling math tests, their skills were not up to par! All four girls had to take math classes down several grade levels, which was embarrassing for them. You need to make sure that your own preferences and strengths do not color your children's skill-development.

Secondly, when the children went on to public school, they struggled to get along with teachers that did not have teaching styles that worked with the children's learning styles. This may be good for children in elementary school (I personally have memories of personality clashes with teachers in elementary school that I don't believe taught me anything except that school was hard!) but if you want your children to go on to college, they are going to have teachers and classmates who have different opinions, values, styles, etc. than they do. And if they don't know how to cope, they may fail. My eldest niece blamed every failing grade she got in public school on the teachers. Well, I had some bad teachers in my day, too, but I never failed a class because of it. You need to make sure that your kids can cope with people who are different or unlike them or who have styles that differ from their own.

Finally, as everyone else has said, make sure there are lots of outlets for socialization. Can home-schooled kids be socialized? Absolutely. My best friend was home-schooled, and I went to public school. We love each other and always have fun together. But you have to be active in finding those opportunities and encouraging those activities.

Good luck! I hope you have a wonderful homeschooling experience!!!

I wanted to post my feelings on homeschooling as someone that has been through it.

My parents had two fears when it came to my sisters and I attending school – 1.) that we would be bored because in school the teacher has to deal with an entire classroom of kids and they were sure that we would be way ahead of everyone; and 2.) that we would be subjected to horrible, worldly things.

So my sisters and I were homeschooled from the beginning. Let me get it out there that all three of us hated it and would never think of subjecting our children to that horrible experience. Every day I begged and begged to go to real school, but to no avail.

Here are the reasons that we hated it:

1.) No matter how hard you try, the social learning is not there. My mom had us in tons of homeschooling groups, we were very active in our church (there 3 times per week), we played with the neighborhood kids every day, and we were very active in gymnastics and other sports (gymnastics had practice at least 3 times per week up to 5 days per week as we got better). Even with all of this, we never got to learn how to deal with everyday interaction with kids. We didn’t learn how to deal with bullies (I know we never want our kids to experience that, but every child will at some point). We didn’t have to learn how to deal with teachers with different teaching styles (a very valuable lesson when it comes to higher education or even learning how to deal with bosses/coworkers in the future). We didn’t learn how to deal with disappointments such as not getting the teacher we wanted, or not being in class with our best friend, etc. I could go on and on. And as small as these things seem to be, they are very important lessons for the real world.
2.) We were so far behind all of the other kids when it came to what we were learning. I understand that there are different options for curriculums, etc., but please think about this logically…teachers go to school for a while in order to be teachers. What qualifications do you have to teach your children? I know that I am a college educated, intelligent person, but there is no way I could teach my kids everything they are currently learning without having to re-teach some of it to myself. And even if you think that is fine, once they get to a certain age, there will be a point you will hit material that you will really have to learn in order to teach it to them, and I do not think that is good for the kids…what if they still don’t understand it? You don’t have the knowledge to be able to present it a different way if you’re just learning it yourself.
3.) We missed out on the fun activities at school. I know this sounds silly and not really a reason to not send your kids to school, but I feel like I missed out on so much fun! Everything my daughter does (i.e. making her Valentine’s Day box) my husband has so much fun remembering what his was like each year when he was in school, or how he did something just like what my kids are doing now. I have to admit I am living vicariously through my daughter as she gets to do all of these fun things!
4.) We were made fun of all the time. I know I said we played with the neighborhood kids, and we were all great friends, but they still made fun of us…as any kid did when they learned we didn’t go to real school. My mom tried her best to get me into so many school activities – we went to the school for school pictures, and I played in the middle school bad. What she doesn’t understand is that it was so embarrassing because I wasn’t a part of those kids. They just viewed me as this weirdo that showed up for 5th period everyday.

I don’t have time to get into much else. I just wanted to let you know what it was like. My sisters and I ended up going to private school in 7th grade, and then public school later on. We all had a hard time adjusting and catching up, but we were so determined to stay in school that we did whatever it took. When I started school, I started with a fellow homeschooler, who had also been in our homeschooling group, and we both shared the same struggles.

I can’t emphasize enough how important the social learning is, and I don’t just mean with friends…I mean learning about different authority figures, and learning about how to deal with disappointments. I also wanted to let you know that you can’t shelter your kids forever. The minute they are “released,” whether it’s at a later grade in school, in college, or after that, they will be exposed to all kinds of bad things, and it would have been so much easier on my sisters and I if we had learned how to deal with those things at a younger age. To walk into public school for the first time and hear cussing all around us and see kids making out in the hallways was a lot to handle when thrown into it without any warning.

Like I said, I just wanted to put this out there from the viewpoint of someone that has been through it. Please feel free to message me if you have any further questions.