Considering Adoption...

Financially, adoption is about $30,000+ So keep that in mind!!! We too were going to adopt, and it's an amazing process. I would suggest you find local agencies and find out what they offer. HOWEVER -- if you are looking to adopt an older child, you might also consider foster care where the option of adoption might be possible AND it's typically cheap or free. I think if we ever decided to adopt again (which I dont think we will ) I would go this route. We have been through both -- Agency and working with DSS for foster care. It's a great program. We did not end up adopting through either, but the experience was lifelong!!! :) Good luck!

We are adopting. we have two boys, ages 7.5 and 4.5. We are hoping to adopt a girl under age 4, or a sibling set under age 6. My advice? Research, research, research. I would also advise you keep your oldest child your oldest, and look for a child younger than he is. It will be very hard for him, especially as an only child, to be knocked from that oldest pedestal, so keep him the oldest for the easiest transition.

Texas has a great foster/adopt program. Contact your county for more information, and contact a few local agencies. You will need a home study, and training, to be licensed.

We adopted. We went through an agency and had to take 9 hours of education, each.
1. read read read. Especially about bonding and attachment.
2. an older child will be easier to adopt - but see about the bonding issues first. Also as another poster said, keep the birth order 'as is' - adopt someone younger than your son.
3. I think agencies are more dependable to deal with , as opposed to an attorney. Agencies tend to have oversight by the state. I went to our state and got a list of 'approved' agencies to find the social worker to do our home study. Ask them right away about the bankruptcy.
4. do not be afraid of an open adoption. I would've loved that for my child, but it was not possible in our case. In most cases, the birth mother wants to know what happened to their child - that it is not a final goodbye when they relenquish. In many cases, a yearly/monthly letter with pictures is all that they want. Some want more. But do not be threatened by it. When your child is older and wants answers- they will get them from the birth mother. But you will always be 'MOM'.
5. I was surprised to learn that a majority of moms giving up their children are not unwed teen moms. They are generally moms that have a few children already and cannot handle one more child. They know what being a mom entails and the emotional/financial strain of another....
6. Try not to keep it a secret from the child. I bring it up with my daughter periodically - 'are you thinking about your birth mom?' - and give her a chance to ask questions. She's five, so they are coming more often now.

Good luck! hth!

My advice would be to consult with an attorney who specializes in adoptions. Check out and interview a few agencies as well before you choose the agency you wish to go through. Some agencies have differing policies and guidelines they follow when placing a child with a family. The other thing to think about is the age of the child you are looking to adopt. If it seems as though adoption may be not the right choice due to financial, you can always look into fostering a child as well. Often a foster family will be given the option of adopting a child that has been in the system for some time and has no family or a safe environment to return to. I see a lot of foster children get overlooked time and time again. A lot of families reject this idea based on the fear that a foster child will be a dangerous addition to their home (ie-mood swings, theft, violent reactions, etc). The "Hollywood" set surely has not done these children justice. To be fair, 99.9% of the children in the foster care system are in need of a steady, mature, LOVING home that they can feel safe and secure in. Once the child realizes that they are safe from harm, won't be abused, and that you will provide them with love, acceptance, and a sense normalcy, most foster parents find themselves with a child who excels in school, sports, and life in general. So please keep your mind open to this aspect as well. I wish you and your family luck no matter which path you choose!

i think if you are looking for an older child it will be much easier to adopt, there is an actual need for parents to adopt older children as opposed to newborns for which there is competition to adopt.

We have three more steps to completing the State adoption/foster process. If you want to do private adoption, yes, it will cost you upwards of $25k. If you choose the State route, it's around $2,000, give or take - fingerprinting, TB test, CPR, updating home w/required safety, lawyer fee for adoption, etc., and $1,500 is reimbursed by the State.

It takes about six months from turning in your application to having a completed, approved home study. The home study is your ticket. And it's the last thing you'll do in the process.

Financially, the State doesn't really care about your past history, only that you have made enough money to live the lifestyle you live now. Can you afford the way you live now? If so, then you shouldn't have a problem. Private agencies are more stringent. I say that, but there are areas where private agencies don't look and State does and vice versa.

If you choose to go the State route, contact CPS, or go to the TARE website (Texas Adoption Resource Exchange.) There's a page that lists the informational classes in your area. Go to one. You'll find there are many questions you have now that will be answered.

Best of luck to you! We feel like going through this process, we have defined what "almost pregnant" really means! LOL

We went thru the adoption process 6 years ago. Our financial situation was tough also but it is not the only thing they consider. 1. They do run a credit check on you and look at your finances to make sure that you can afford another child. 2. Criminal back ground check - This is done along with finger printing. My (now ex) had a previous DWI which we were concerned about. We were honest about it so they knew it was going to pop up. Fortunately it didn't cause any problems. The Home Study I think was the most stressfull. They come into your home & look around and also talk to all who live in the house. They want to see all of your pets and see that you have shot records on all of them. They don't favor exotic pets too much. My girlfriend had 2 monkeys and was turned down do to that. Make sure that you have a fire inspection done & all smoke detectors were in place and that you have practiced a fire drill with your son. Also make sure you have fire extinguishers. You & your husband will also have to go to a cpr class for adults & children. Also, you will have to attend a parenting class. When we started this process we were looking for a child between 8-9. After going thru the class we changed our minds and went for 1-3 yr old. The younger the child the longer the wait may be for you, however follow your heart and do what is best for your family. We had a fantastic case worker & she was very open & honest with us. I had never had a child before so I didn't want to get a child & then have him taken away because he was going to be placed back with the family. This is always a possibility if the parents rights are not terminated. So my best advice to you is to get an agent you really trust. You may have to interview several agency's. Also be very honest with them. Don't let them find out something that could hurt your chances later. I wish you & your family the best of luck. If there is anything I can do just let me know. I have never regreted adopting my child & he is the joy of my life.

Sorry I wanted to add one more thing on the cost. We went thru the state so they told us the cost would be $1500 to $2500. If you go somewhere else it is much more expensive. However this is not written in stone. You have to foster that child in the state of Texas for 6 months minimum before you can finalize the adoption. We were one week from finalizing and the Bio Mom decided she did not want him back but wanted him to stay in the system so she would have access to him. She made it very clear she didn't want him with us, even though she had only seen him 4 times since birth. We made a choice to fight this and hired an attorney & filed intervention. We won our case but it ended up costing about $7000. It may have cost us more but we got the best thing - Our baby boy

If you are looking to adopt in TX... Call CASA... They will love you and help you! Boys are hard to place (because alot of people don't want them... everyone wants girls...???) and they always need homes in that age range. Boys are great! If you are looking for Private, I am not sure how it works... But if you go through the state for your adoption, apply for adoption assistance, it will be well worth the time and effort you put in.