Considering an IUD but Husband Doesn't Want It

Love LOVE LOVE my Mirena. This is my second one (3 years between kids.) We have had NO problems with it. My periods are almost nonexistent, and my moods swings are much less intense. Would he even know if you did it? ;-)

It seems like he should at least have a good reason. Maybe he is thinking that he may somehow feel it? Is he afraid that if you get pregnant while on it that it will be complicated? Personally, I'd be afraid of it. But I understand forgetting the pill.

I'm not ready to even consider having my tubes tied yet either I have off & on used non hormonal BC options but hubby always asks WHY well I have 3 kids already i'm done for a while...His view is that we are Married we should have sex without anything really I don't want more babies right now!!!He has used condoms when I make him or I get my stuff he always questions it we don't need it what does he think it'll damage his stuff or what don't know.Are you religous that may be in the back of his mind or the side effects that you'll go through or maybe he wants more kids...
I was looking into Mirena then the copper IUD but now using the film so if it failed between now & the next time of the month i'll be getting my tubes tied LOL

The Mirena was a dream for me. The hormone dose it contains is a fraction of what's in the pill - when I was on the pill it took a while to find one that didn't make me moody, fat, and give me headaches and I had no issues with the Mirena. I had some breakthrough bleeding the first couple of cycles and after that, my heavy, long periods were reduced to 1-2 days of light spotting. It really was wonderful. Maybe print off some information for him so that he knows that this is not the old copper IUD from the 70's. I would just get it done and not even discuss it with my husband but that's just me. If he doesn't like it, tell him that you'll have it removed when he gets a vasectomy and gets the all clear that he's shooting blanks. If he doesn't want to do that, then he gets no say in what you do with your own body for pregnancy prevention!

And regarding the strings...my husband never felt anything but I have friends whose husbands have been able to feel it (those lucky girls LOL) and if it's really bothersome, you can go back to your doc can trim the strings shorter.

I had an IUD and it caused me a lot of problems, I had terrible heavy long long periods, really bad cramps and bloating the cramps were so bad in my back that I could barely stand up. I finally got it removed, my OB/GYN said you shouldn't have this removed your husband won't like the alternative since I said I WOULD NOT go on the pill or do any more damage to my body I said OH WELL it isn't just up to me. It took years for my body to get back to normal and have a normal period. There are so many side effects to the birth control they promote now it is scarry. They tell you that you can have a stroke or blood clots which my sister did have due to the pill. I suggest finding natural methods of birth control. If you were my daughter I would say don't use or take anything that is not made with all natural ingredients. Good Luck and I hope this helps.
Kay

Personally, I agree that it is your body and you have the right to do what you want. I have heard a lot of people on this website complain about an IUD, but I don't know much else about it. As far as getting your tubes tied, I would say NO. If surgery is the next option...I think that is his responsibility. The vasectomy procedure is more simple and rarely has complications after.

Hi M.,
Tell him to get a vasectomy if he's that against it. Then see what his reaction is. :-)

I've been fine with mine, about 4 months now. I have heard a few horror stories but out of the 5 people that I know have it only 1 did things go wrong. And I love that one person but she's the kind if anything can go wrong medically, she's your gal.

Anyway, the ONLY bad thing (don't tell hubby) is that the husbands of all the women that I know that have it can feel it when having sex. I don't think they can feel the actual contraption but the strings that are attached to it. But I've told hubby if that's the only bad thing compared to me forgetting my pills again and having another unplanned baby, then he can deal with it.

See if your insurance covers it. Mine didn't and it was expensive. Good luck!

I guess I'm in the minority... I don't agree that you get to choose unequivocally the method of birth control. If you were single, then that perspective is fine. However, in terms of birth control in a marriage/relationship, both individuals need to be comfortable with the chosen method. I mean, really! If he thinks an IUD is unreliable (or perhaps he has a pro-life perspective in regard to IUDs in general--there is that controversy about IUDs too) then it's not fair to force that method (and possibly fatherhood again, if it fails) on him. It should be something that both of you agree on and are comfortable with. Perhaps he would agree if he got more info on it... But I think he should consent.

As for the mirena, I've heard women say they love it and had no bad side effects and Ive heard women say they hated it, that they had surprise pregnancies, that it dislodged without them knowing, that they had strange bleeding, cramps and vaginal odor. I myself would research the nuva ring before I did the mirena.

How about take your hubby with you to your OB/GYN to discuss options. That way he can ask & get answers to "all" of his questions.

I think you should sit down with your husband and talk about the natural option that is watching when you have your period and when you ovulate. I think you should always respect your spouses wish's. I am not a fan of birth control becasue of the steroids you are putting into your body. Research your options before you do anything, spend time looking at what is in these birth control options and how they affect your body. Good luck!

Hi M.,

Such a step really should be a decision you and your husband agree on. My first thought is that you both need more information so you can make an informed decision that best suits your family. I, for one, have Mirena...and I LOVE it. Make an appt. with your doctor to discuss your options, then if possible, BOTH of you go.

Yes, I've heard bad stories about Mirena too. I haven't had ANY bad occurrences from having it. Every person is different and there are pros and cons with every form of birthcontrol. Mirena lasts five years, so your needs of wanting it need to fit within that timespan. What I'm saying is, if you plan on getting pregnant next year, then Mirena probably isn't for you. But if you don't want to have another baby for a few years, then it just might be for you.

As for my thoughts on Mirena: Like I said earlier, I LOVE it. The doctor pretty much put it in and I've forgotton about it! I did, and still do, have occasional spotting, I don't have near the bloating or cramps I used to have, my cycles are EXTREMELY light and lasts for a day or two, (not a week like they used to). So overall, I feel much better with it in, than with it out. My Mirena is coming up due within the year. I guarantee, I'm getting a new one!!!

Try to talk to your husband about at least getting information on it before he jumps to a conclusion. If you're comfortable, let your him read this and see what his reaction is. My husband has been very pleased on Mirena's performance. Keep in mind to keep and open mind. Explore other options, too!

Hope I've helped and have eased your mind on Mirena. Good luck!! ls

I'm also wondering if he has moral concerns (i.e. about birth control that blocks implantation rather than preventing conception although I guess Mirena potentially does both). Maybe you want to dig deeper to see what his concerns really are? If he is really just worried about safety, you guys could research the possible side effects or complications together. Of course, (as mentioned below), the pill isn't without risks either. The rhythm method is probably the only totally safe method.

How about change your pills to the first thing in the morning. Place them on the bathroom sink and due it just like going to the bathroom in the morning. I also tell women to place theem at the bedside table with a glass of water and roll over and take it before your feet hit the floor. (If remembering to take it is the only problem).
Are you guys for sure done having children? If so, how about him getting done?

i have the mirena & i love it. if he is not going to get fixed then it is your decision especially since he has no legitimate reason for not wanting it...is it possible he wants another child? & knows its a possibility since you are bad at taking your pill? if so that needs to be discussed...

You have to take your fertility into your own hands- unless he wants to get a vasectomy! I had the Mirena, and wasn't too happy with it, but I know others that have had no problem. It is a hormonal contraceptive, so there is a risk of side effects. For me, I started getting painful ovarian cysts, and had it removed. Are you looking at permanent sterilization? If so, there is a product called Essure that my doctor recommended. It's permanent, and can be done in office. Hope this helps!

I have Mirena, have had it for almost 2 years. All in all, it's been great. I cannot remember to take a pill so I knew I had to go this route. IUD and all forms of birth control bring risks, so don't let that deter you.

It was painful to have put in and I bled pretty heavily and had bad cramps for a few weeks. It does mess with your libido, at least it does mine and you may still get PMS symptoms, but period will likely lighten or disappear. I haven't had any problems with it other than hearing that it can make weight loss hard and I am struggling with weight loss....but who knows.

I think your husband should be involved in the discussion of more kids or not and know what you're doing, but ultimately like you say, it's your body and you are the one who has to be comfortable with the choice...it has no effect on him whatsoever, it's not fair for him to say you can't get one.

My sister had an IUD and had to have a full hysterectomy at 23. She's 28 now and going through menopause.
He could have also heard about it stabbing him while you guys are having sex, which I've heard from some people as well.
And while it is your body, you are married and you should take into account his concern over things like drugs. If you just ignore him and throw out that argument, it's kind of disrespectful of him and his trying to be protective of you.

I agree that it is your body and your form of birth control but from my experience in the medical field there are risk in taking an IUD one you can still get pregnant with it because it can shift without you knowing it and if you were to become pregnant it can be risky for both you and the baby, another thing is if you decided later that you would like to become pregnant you may not becuase it can cause infertility. My suggestion to you is to research each type of birth control and decide what is best for you. Remember there is risks in all birth controls but you should research which one will be for you, after all it is your body not your husbands.

I think that unless you are considering permanent birth control then he has NO say in what you use.

I would assure him that he will not feel it and that you would not do anything that you felt would hurt your own body.

IUDs today are worlds away from what they used to be. Quite honestly I would tell my husband to make a vasectomy appointment if he didn't like the idea of an IUD. My hubby had a vasectomy earlier this year -and it's great! It's COMPLETELY your choice what to do if the birth control responsibility is being left up to you! Go get an IUD if you want one -or, as I said, he should go get a vasectomy! Also -getting your tubes tied is far more expensive, invasive and NOT as reliable as a vasectomy -so let him know that as well.

Consider the Nuva Ring. It inserts into the vagina and is taken out so a period can start. Then you take another out of the frig. and put it in. My friend used it for years before getting the Essure procedure done and never had a single issue. It can even be taken out for several hours at a time if needed. she said she never id, even during intercourse, it was as if it wasn't there. It is low does since it's right there and doesn't have to go through the whole system.

Let me add my vote to the--it's your body and you have to have the babies, so you get to pick the birth control--side. :)

I had Mirena for 1-1/2 years between my two pregnancies and I thought it was okay. No more side effects than I had from the pill and my periods stopped completely. I did have some more cramps than normal, but that's really the only thing I noticed. I did not have trouble with weight loss or sex drive while on Mirena, but I did notice that my personal PH seemed to be off, which wasn't a big deal but wasn't comfortable either.

Best of luck to you, and I'd try another frank discussion before making any decisions.

Talk to your OB/Gyn. There are dozens of birth control options out there and the medical facts you need to make this sort of decision need to come from a doctor. As to whether you should choose option ABC vs XYZ and how your husband feels about it? Until he starts shooting babies out of his body, this decision is soley at your discretion.

However if his issue is simply his misunderstanding about of option ABC vs XYZ actual work and he merely needs information about whether it is safe for you...Share the facts your get from your OB/Gyn. Perhaps his hesitance merely stems from his worry that an IUD could have harmful side effects.

I had Mirena put in 3 1/2 months after my 2nd baby was born and I hated it. With the exception of a day here and there I pretty much bled the entire for 4 months I had it it. I always had to use tampon for light days or atleast a liner. I also felt like it made me more sad and emotional. I do have a friend that has it and hasn't had any problems. I think it really depends on the person. If I were you I'd check with your insurance and see what it cost for you to get it and how much if you got it taken out early. If it's not too bad it would be worth a try.

Also have you considered the Nuva Ring? I used that for a while and I loved it except for the fact of too much discharge. But like I said bc has different side effects for everyone so ya never know. Good luck!

I loved my first one. No periods, no problems. Second one not so much. No periods but would get severe back cramping during the month. Worse than labor. I dealt with it for about a year and had it taken out. I still would give it a try. You can always have it removed if it doesnt work for you. My husband got a vasectomy this year so no more worries for me.

Have you considered the nuva ring? I had an IUD (mirena) for 3 yrs and absolutely HATED it. I could feel it (and he could feel it) every time we had sex... however, most women/husbands cannot feel it... so I was one of the rate ones :) I talked with my DR several times and he confirmed that it had not slipped down... and that my husband was just hitting it. I hope this is not TMI... but I had to share since I did not enjoy mine. Maybe that is what your hubby is worried about? I've been on the nuva ring and LOVE IT..... plus, you can take it out 2 hrs a day, if needed :)

I have the Mirena and love it. You might spot for a few months afterward but that was the only side effect for me. I basically have no periods and I wanted to be off the pill too. No regrets on getting it. Husband likes it too. Id say have a consult with your obgyn with your hubby there so he can ask his ???'s. It might be a big out of pocket expense but it is good for 5 years...making it even out or even save you money in the end.

I have one and I never have had any side effects. I've had it for about a year now. Is he worried that he'll feel it during sex? It's a real concern. My husband was a bit leery about it for that reason. I had to go back to the OB twice to have the strings cut shorter, but now he can't feel it at all. I never notice it either. I haven't had a period since I had it put in. The very best thing to do is talk to your doctor before you make a decision.